So much for summer love and saying "us"...

James

"What's wrong?" I asked Augustine as she sat down on my bed.

She looked at me with puffy red eyes, her lower lip trembling. "We're leaving in two days," she whispered.

"What?" I breathed. "What happened? We were supposed to have eleven more days." I wasn't crying, but every part of me felt like it was breaking.

"My parents are splitting up," Augustine sobbed. "My mom just told me."

"Shit," I muttered, wrapping my arms around her.

Augustine fell into my embrace, resting her head on my chest as I lay back. I stroked her hair, trying to find the right words to comfort her, but she spoke first.

"I'm not even upset about that," she said. "I just don't want to leave you."

My heart softened at her words. I kissed the top of her head, willing her pain to go away. I knew then that leaving would affect her as much as me.

"It'll be alright," I whispered. "Take some deep breaths, okay?"

A few minutes later, Augustine had calmed down, tracing my stomach through my shirt as she continued to lay on my chest. She didn't look happy, but at least she wasn't crying.

"James?" she asked softly.

"What's up, beautiful?" I replied.

"Can I stay here forever?"

I laughed quietly and grabbed her chin, bringing it up until her face was close to mine. "You know I'd love nothing more," I smiled.

"Guess life isn't fair," she said. "I finally found someone who makes me happy, and the world is pulling me away from him."

"Augustine, come on. We both knew August wouldn't last forever."

"Can we pretend for a second that it does?"

"C'mere." I pulled her closer to me, pressing my lips to hers. With only two days left, I was determined to make the most of them.

Augustine

I figured Mom would want me home before dinner, so after spending the day watching movies with James, I trudged back to the house. I twisted the old doorknob and entered the cottage, a delightful smell immediately wafting my way. I followed it to the kitchen, where my mom was pulling a dish out of the oven.

"Oh good, you're home," Mom said, sending me a smile. "I just made lasagna."

"Yum," I said, getting cutlery out of the drawer and forcing a smile. After putting the utensils on the table, I filled up four water glasses and brought them to the dining room.

"You only need to get three, honey," Mom said. "Your dad won't be joining us. I'll bring some to his office."

"It's like nothing has changed," I mumbled.

"What's that?" Mom asked.

"Nothing. How's Aurora doing? Sorry I wasn't there to tell her."

"She's alright," my mom sighed. "You know how she just goes with whatever is happening."

"I know," I replied. "I'll tell her dinner is ready."

"Thanks, honey," Mom said, as I headed towards the stairs.

I didn't reply, trudging up the stairs to my sister's room.

"Rory, it's me," I said at her door.

A few seconds later, Aurora stood in front of me with the door open. She didn't say anything but reached her arms towards me so I'd pick her up. I did, softly kissing her head as she lay on my shoulder.

"It's okay, Rory," I whispered.

"I don't want to leave," she sniffled. "I want to see Miles and James and Leah everyday."

"I know, princess. So do I."

"Auggie?" she asked, lifting her head up so she was looking at me.

"Yes?" I said, brushing some curls away from her little forehead. Her deep brown eyes were full of sadness.

"Are you and James going to stay together?"

I froze for a second, unsure what to say. "Rory, that's not for you to worry about," I told her.

"But he loves you," she said. "I don't want you guys to be like Mommy and Daddy."

"Oh, Rory, it's not like that," I said. "We live very far away, so we wouldn't be able to see each other."

Her eyebrows furrowed together as she thought. "That's no reason to break up," she said. "If your love is real, you should be able to stay together."

I laughed quietly. "When did you become the romance expert?" I joked.

"Miles told me," she said.

"I guess we could stay together," I thought out loud. "Long distance would be hard, but we can always call and text. Buying a plane ticket would be difficult now that Mom and Dad won't be living together. Dad wouldn't help me pay for that anyways, but I could get a job and save up enough." Though my words were half-hearted, I stayed positive for Aurora's sake. "We could take sister plane trip," I continued.

"Yay!" My sister squealed, giving me another hug. "Then you and James can get married, and me and Miles will be best friends forever."

"Alright, let's not get ahead of ourselves," I laughed. "Come on, let's go downstairs. Dinner is ready."

After a relatively awkward dinner, I was ready to get in bed and crash. I had spent enough time crying today. I put mine and Aurora's dishes in the sink and headed towards the stairs.

"Oh, Augustine?" Mom asked, just as I was about to leave.

I turned back around.

"Since tomorrow is our last night, I invited Leah and the boys over for dinner. We're doing a whole thing. I want you all spending time together before we go."

I forced a smile before leaving the room. I was nervous to see James again, scared to ask him if he'd consider staying with me. Without answering, I went upstairs to my room and opened the one book I could always turn to.

Journal, August 21

I can't believe we're leaving so soon. It breaks my heart to leave James, but I'd be leaving him anyway even if we stayed until the end of August.

I'll miss Miles and Leah, too. There's no reason we can't meet up at some point, but I'm so scared I'll go back to who I was if I'm not around James everyday. I'm scared I'll be the girl who shuts out the world again. I'm optimistic we could do long distance, but it won't be the same as if he was around all the time. Would he even want to do long distance?

James brought back a piece of me I forgot I had, and now that part of me is slowly crumbling away.

"Augustine? Can I come in?" a frantic voice called from outside my room.

I quickly shut my journal and placed it on my nightstand per usual. I pressed the palms of my hands against my eyes and wiped the last of my tears away.

"Yeah" I muttered, hiding the tremble in my voice.

The doorknob turned and James entered, looking very out of breath. He stumbled into my room and crashed onto my bed, wrapping his arms around me.

"James, what's going on? It's past 9:00 at night."

"Auggie, I want to stay with you," he breathed, pushing back hair that had matted to his forehead. He looked drained but determined to share whatever he was thinking.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

He sat facing me with his legs crossed, taking my hand in his. His hazel eyes stared into mine, and all I wanted was to fall into his arms. But I remained still, anxious to hear what he wanted to tell me.

"Auggie, please hear me out," he began, and I nodded.

"I want us to stay together. Miles told me him and Gracie are going to wait until next summer and see where they are, with no guarantees they'll get back together. I realized that's the last thing I want. I want to be truly with you. Where I can look at a photo of you and think, 'That's my girl.' Where I can buy a plane ticket to come visit you. I don't want us to be a summer romance. I just want to love you for as long as you'll have me." He stopped and caught his breath while my heartbeat raced.

"James, I-I-," I began. "I want that, too." I failed to form any other words.

James exhaled and pulled me into a hug. "I thought I was going to lose you. I can't lose you," he said, his voice muffled against my shoulder. I held him close, wondering if I was making the right decision. Something felt off, but I ignored it.

James pulled away to look at me. "If we only have one day left before we don't see each other for a while, I want to spend it right."

"Well, technically, we have one day and two nights," I smiled, brushing off whatever weird feeling was swirling in my chest. "Want to sleep over?"

James touched his forehead to mine. "Let's go get my stuff," he said, giving me a quick kiss.

*

I woke up in middle of the night, immediately knowing something was wrong. I rubbed my eyes and tried to sit up but couldn't. With the moonlight shining thought my window, I could see James resting on my chest. My breath caught in my throat, and my whole body tensed. Something was off, but I couldn't figure out what. My entire body felt like it was made of lead, and I gently pushed James off me, hurrying over to my window.

Opening it, I breathed in the fresh air. I could smell the salty ocean drifting in the wind. My racing heart soon slowed to its normal pace as I continued taking deep breaths.

What's wrong with me? I thought.

I took another breath, waiting for the answer to hit me. The warm air reminded me of the first time I met James, when he bumped into me on the beach. The smell of the ocean reminded me of when we built sandcastles. The moonlight brought back the memory of when James and I went swimming and had our first kiss, then going back to his house to watch a movie. The stars made me think of his love for astronomy.

All of this in a few weeks. I had an experience I'd always remember. Then it hit me.

I had been so worried about losing the piece of me James brought out of me, but I finally realized it wasn't him I needed to stay who I had become. It was me. I needed to take care of myself and look for people who made me happy instead of focusing on the negatives. I needed to trust myself and grow on my own, even if that meant breaking more than my own heart.

I sighed, looking back at James who rested peacefully on my bed. My body went numb as I walked to my nightstand and grabbed my journal.

Journal, August 22, 3:30am

I'm sorry, James.