...'Cause you weren't mine to lose

James

Wow.

What a week.

I didn't even want to go on this trip for the summer. Leah and my dad had to practically drag me. If only someone had told me I would meet the most amazing girl ever; I would've been a lot more willing to go. Then again, maybe not. Two weeks ago, I could barely talk to Augustine. Progress was definitely made.

I never thought we'd end up where we did, but sleeping with her was honestly the best night of my life. Everything about her was perfect. I couldn't believe she ever felt insecure when she was so beautiful. I loved feeling close to her more than anything. I hadn't admitted it out loud, but I was falling in love with her.

We hungout constantly the week after. We even went to dinner once with Miles and Gracie. Things were looking up with Augustine and her mom, and Aurora was her usual happy self. Everything felt right.

I hummed along to the music playing from the speaker on the counter while I washed the dishes. Miles was watching TV in the den, and Leah and Dad were on a much-needed date night. I washed the last dish and dried off my hands, heading to the den to hangout with Miles.

"What are you watching?" I asked, entering the room.

Miles looked away from the TV and at me. "None of your business," he said. He was curled up on the couch with a fluffy grey blanket wrapped around him.

On the screen, a boy walked into a high school classroom, asking "What did I miss?" A pretty girl in one of the chairs turned around and said, "The oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education."

"Miles, what the hell are you watching?" I laughed.

"10 Things I Hate About You," he grumbled as I smiled.

"In my defense," he continued. "It's Gracie's favourite movie. She told me to watch it."

"And you listened to her?" I said, sitting next to him. "Looks like Miles has fallen in loooooove." I drew out the last word and ruffled his hair.

"I have not!" he exclaimed, as his cheeks became a dark shade of red. "I just really like her, okay?"

"Alright then," I said. "So what's the plan? We're leaving in eleven days. Are you guys going to stay together?"

Miles paused the movie and turned to face me. "I don't think so," he said. "I think it's more of a fling, but I like her more than I thought I would. It might just be a summer thing. Like every year when we come back, we hangout again and see where we are."

"Miles, that is so romantic," I said. "Your story could honestly be a movie."

"It'd be better than this movie," he said, gesturing to the TV.

"It can't be that bad," I laughed. "Let's see what happens."

The girl, Kat, ended up dating the guy, Patrick. I laughed as he performed the song "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" in front of her entire soccer team. Miles pouted the whole movie, but I caught him smiling at the cheesy parts.

"That is one good looking guy," Miles said, referring to Heath Ledger.

"Definitely attractive," I admitted. "The girl is really pretty, too."

"I think her sister is gorgeous," Miles commented.

"Bianca?"

"Yeah. Also Cameron, her boyfriend."

"How is everyone in this movie attractive?" I asked.

"I don't know, but it's not as bad of a movie as I thought," Miles admitted.

"I enjoyed it," I told him as the credits rolled. I went to get up when Miles stopped me.

"What's the plan?" he asked, wrapping the blanket tighter around him.

"What plan?"

"With you and Augustine." Miles ran his hand through his hair. "What's going to happen?"

I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose. "I don't know," I admitted. "I want to stay together, but I have no idea what she's thinking. Technically, we're not even official."

"Have you asked her what she wants to do?" he asked.

"No," I sighed. "I don't even know how it'd work. She lives in LA and we're in Toronto."

"Hello!" Miles waved his hand in front of my face. "It's called long distance."

I shook my head. "What if we break up? Then we'll have to see each other next year."

"You've got to take a chance," Miles told me. "Also, don't be mad or anything, but I thought for maybe a second that I liked -"

He was cut off by my phone chiming from my pocket. Thinking it was Augustine texting, I pulled it out to check.

Betty, the screen read.

"Fuck," I muttered.

"What's wrong?" Miles asked, leaning forward to look at my screen.

"It's Betty," I admitted.

Miles sighed disaprovingly. "Tell her you're done," he said. "She's a huge bitch."

"Don't say that!" I told him.

"She cheated on you!" he burst out. "How can you forgive that? Tell her right now never to text you again. You've got a gorgeous girl who loves you! Tell this idiot she's nothing to you."

I froze. "Augustine loves me?" My heart sped up just thinking about it.

"Holy fuck, you're more clueless than I thought," Miles said. "Whatever, we'll deal with that later. Just text Betty and tell her it's over."

"Fine," I said, opening the text.

Underneath the few previous texts she had sent me had the new one.

Hi James, just wondering how things are going since you didn't answer my last texts. Anyways, I've been thinking about you a lot, and I really miss you. Please text back. I just want to talk.

I showed the screen to Miles, who immediately frowned. "Answer her," he said. "Tell her how you feel."

I tapped my fingers along the keypad, saying whatever came to mind. When I was done, I passed the phone to Miles for approval.

"Not reading it until you press send," he said.

I hovered my thumb over the send button. I didn't know why I was hesitant, but something told me this wouldn't be the last time I heard from her.

I pressed my thumb down, sending the text before I could overthink again.

"Let's see it," Miles said, reaching for my phone. I passed it over for him to read.

I don't want to talk about what happened. I found someone else who's taught me what love actually is, and it's the opposite of you. I will not be answering your texts, and will block you if needed. I wish you the best, but we're done.

Augustine

A knock at my door stirred me from my sleep.

"Come in," I muttered, rubbing my eyes to wake myself up.

The knob slowly turned and my mom entered the room. "Sorry, honey. I didn't meant to wake you," she said softly.

"It's okay," I said, taking in her appearance.

She looked rough, with disheveled hair and her purple robe wrapped around her. Her eyes were baggy, like she hadn't slept all night. And not like she had stayed up all night working. Something was definitely off.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Can I sit down?"

"Of course."

My mom shut my door and sat on the foot of my bed. I sat myself up against my headboard, crossing my legs and running my hands through my tangled hair.

"Augustine, you know I've been working hard to make up for not being there for you and Aurora," my mom began, scooting closer to me.

I nodded, unsure where she was going with this.

"Well," she continued. "Your father hasn't been sharing my perspective. You know work is his main focus, and he wants it to be mine. I've been pulling back on work and it's made him extremely angry with me. I know it's okay to not see eye-to-eye on some things, but not having the same family values is not something I can compromise on any longer." She took a deep breath and placed her hand on my knee.

"Mom, what's going on?" I asked nervously.

"We're splitting up," she stated, tears forming in her eyes.

My heart dropped. A mix of emotions swirled through me until I felt numb.

"I don't know what to say," I said honestly.

"I'm so sorry," my mom said, the tears streaming down her face. "I tried to stay strong for you and Aurora, but you two are more important to me than a marriage that isn't working. My job can support all of us, but, since you're seventeen, you get to choose who you live with. I'm assuming I'll get custody of Aurora. Since she's young, her opinion will be taking into consideration in court, but won't necessarily be the final decision."

I sat there, no tears coming to my eyes. Suddenly, everything made sense. My mom had been off for a while, not spending much time working with my dad, or even talking to him much. I had only seen him a few times in the past two weeks, but that was normal.

"Mom, I understand," I told her. "And I choose to live with you."

"Oh, Auggie," my mom said, wrapping her arms around me. "We'll get through this, okay?"

"I know, Mom."

She wiped her eyes and gave me a teary-eyed smile. "Thank you for understanding," she said.

"I don't see Dad anyways. Life won't change much." My face fell as I thought about my sister. "Have you told Aurora yet?" I asked.

Mom shook her head. "Not yet. I was hoping we could tell her together."

"That's a good idea," I told her.

"There's still something else," Mom continued. "We're now leaving in two days."

My heart dropped. "What?!" I exclaimed. "I thought we had eleven days!"

"Not anymore. I'm so sorry, Augustine."

"What are we going to tell James and Miles? What about Aurora?"

"Auggie, I'm sorry. We'll tell them the truth. And we'll find a way for you and James to visit each other, okay?"

I held back tears, nodding.

"I'm going to get dressed and eat then we can tell Aurora."

"Okay, Mom," I said, any postitivity I held onto completely leaving my body. She softly shut the door, and I fell into my bed, the tears finally escaping. I knew I'd have to leave James eventually, but I had no idea it'd be so soon. I cared more about leaving him than about my parents' divorce.

Guess Dad really hasn't been a part of my life, I thought.

I stayed sobbing into my blankets for what felt like a long time. My heart slowly broke as I went over how to tell James we were leaving. Two days wasn't long enough. Eleven was hardly enough time.

Every time I dried my eyes, they welled up again. I needed to tell him right away. I reached for my phone to check the time.

9:00.

James would be up. I quickly got dressed, brushed my teeth and hair, washed my face, and hurried down the stairs and into the kitchen.

My mom sat at the table eating a bagel. She looked worse than when we talked earlier, but I figured I did too. When I had looked in the mirror, my eyes were red and puffy. Cold water only made the skin around my eyes feel like it was burning.

"Tell him I'm sorry," my mom said quietly.

I nodded, and left the kitchen. I slipped on my shoes and left the house, closing the door softly behind me.

I ran the whole way to James's house. I needed every second I could have with him. Every muscle in my legs burned, but I didn't care. I needed him to tell me things would be okay. That we'd be okay.

I stopped at the door, catching my breath. Willingly myself to not cry, I raised my hand and knocked. After about ten seconds, the door opened.

"Hi, Augustine," Leah said, with clear sympathy in her eyes. "I figured you'd come over soon. How are you holding up?"

Leah looked almost as heartbroken as I felt. I rushed into the house, wrapping my arms around her as I burst into tears again.

"We can't leave," I whispered.

"I'm so sorry, Auggie," she said, rubbing my back. "But it'll be okay. You kids have ways of talking to each other. I promise you, we'll find ways for our families to meet up. It's not goodbye forever."

I lifted my head to look up at her. "It still sucks," I said.

"Totally," she said with a sad smile. "But I'm not letting you go easily. You've become a daughter to me, Augustine."

I held back tears again, but a few slipped out. "I'll miss you," I told her.

"I'll miss you too, but we'll still see each other. Don't worry."

"Ok, Leah," I said. "I trust you."

"I'm glad. Do you want to talk to James? I believe he's reading in his room."

"Might as well get this over with," I said, wiping away the new tears that had formed.

"Good luck, kiddo," she said. "Trust me, he'll still love you no matter what."

I froze. "James loves me?" I asked.

"My god, go talk to him," Leah smiled. "You both are so clueless."

"Thanks, Leah," I smiled. I headed up the wooden stairs to James's room. I didn't hear anything coming from inside and softly knocked.

"Who is it?" I hear James call out.

"James? It's Augustine. I need to talk to you."

A/N: Thank you for 50 votes!