Feliciano knew, somewhere in the back of his grief stricken mind, that he had to get up. He had to get up from where he knelt on the wet ground, had to go home, had to tell his brother and his grandfather that he had betrayed them. He had to go and face his fate. Feliciano knew he had to get up - but it was impossible to move, the rain and his grief and the whole world crushing him down. It was impossible to move when all he wanted was to lie in the cold, drenching downpour until he no longer felt anything at all.

A massive crack of thunder tore through the sky, but Feliciano did not jump. Instead he smiled to himself as he remembered Lovino's threat. The thunder sounded like a gunshot. Finally Feliciano forced himself to his feet, shaking the rain and the tears from his eyes. He could not make things right again. He could not undo what he had done. But he could damn well face the consequences.

The lights were on ahead as Feliciano walked up the narrow lane to his house. He could not bring himself to run. He was still dazed, still numb. He had destroyed everything the resistance had worked towards, everything they had risked and lost their lives for. He had put Lovino and Grandpa and Antonio, the people he cared most about in the entire world, in serious danger. Because of him the Germans would know about the landing, because of him the whole plan was ruined. But what did any of that matter. Ludwig thought he was an enemy who had been working against him. Ludwig hated him. Feliciano stumbled on the road and almost fell. The wind-blown rain blinded him. But he didn't care. He would never see Ludwig again. Nothing meant anything anymore. All he could do was confess what he had done, and accept the inevitable result.

Feliciano called out as soon as he pushed through the front door. "Lovino? Grandpa? I need to speak to..." He broke off abruptly. Antonio backed away from Lovino so quickly he stumbled over a chair and crashed backwards into the wall. Lovino practically fell off the table before straightening up and glaring angrily, his face red and his breathing heavy.

"Feliciano! You should knock before..." Lovino blinked as he took in Feliciano's soaking clothes and tear stained face. His glare quickly disappeared. "Feliciano?"

Faced with his brother's concerned expression, his worried eyes, all of Feliciano's resolve melted to nothing. He ran across the room and threw his arms around Lovino. For just one moment, before he destroyed everything, before Lovino found out what he had done and hated him forever, Feliciano wanted to hold his brother one last time. Lovino slowly placed his arms around Feliciano. "Feli, you're scaring me. What's wrong?" Feliciano tried to answer but could not speak through his sobs. Lovino sighed softly. "You went to see him, didn't you?" Feliciano could only nod. Lovino rubbed his back gently. "I'm sorry, Feli, I really..."

"I'm so sorry, Lovino." Feliciano whispered it, almost unconsciously, so softly he was not sure Lovino had heard him. But Lovino immediately froze in Feliciano's hold. After a long, deafening, terrible silence, Lovino slowly grasped Feliciano's shoulders and pushed him away to arms length. He looked terrified.

"Sorry?" Feliciano could hear the suppressed fear and apprehension in Lovino's voice. "Sorry for what?"

Feliciano reluctantly broke out of Lovino's grasp and backed up into the table behind him. How was he ever going to say this? How was he supposed to tell his brother that he had betrayed him, betrayed the Resistance, betrayed his country? His eyes flicked briefly to Antonio who stood silent, still, watching him with worried eyes. Feliciano tried to prepare himself to break his world apart. He lowered his head and whispered the words. "I told him."

Silence. The room was thick with it. It was accusing him, crushing him. It lasted far too long. Terrified, Feliciano forced himself to look up at Lovino. Feliciano had seen his brother angry. It was a pretty common occurrence, after all. He'd seen him livid with wrath and white with boiling rage. And yet he had never seen him like this. Like he was at the very edge of fury, like it was taking Lovino every ounce of willpower to keep from exploding.

"You told him." Feliciano just nodded. "Do you... have any idea... what you have done?" The words were low and seemed controlled, but Feliciano knew better. Lovino was hanging on by a thread.

"I'm sorry," Feliciano whispered again, gripping onto the table behind him with sweating hands.

"I let you go to him, Feliciano." Lovino looked at a loss to understand, to believe. His eyes flashed wildly. "I let you go! I knew you loved him but I never thought... I never believed you would betray us! Betray your country, your blood! NEVER!" Feliciano flinched at the sudden shout. Lovino's face twisted in barely contained fury. "Do you know how long we worked on this? Do you know what people went through to manage this? This was our chance! Our chance to get the Germans out! And you've RUINED EVERYTHING!" Just when it looked like Lovino was about to lose control, Antonio placed a hand calmly on his shoulder. Lovino turned and kicked the wall, letting out a frustrated shout. Feliciano flinched again, tears sliding silently down his cheeks. He had never felt so guilty in his life.

Antonio pulled out a chair and pressed Feliciano gently into it before kneeling before him. "Lovino told me about your German friend, Feli." His voice was kind but serious.

"Oh." Feliciano almost wasn't surprised. He still glared sideways at Lovino. "You promised."

"I promised not to tell Grandpa... an enormous mistake, obviously!" Lovino looked like he was about to kick the wall again, but when Antonio shook his head Lovino just put his head in his hands and turned away.

"Okay, Feli." Antonio fixed Feliciano's eyes in an intent stare. Feliciano did not think he could look away. "First of all, tell me what you do with this German soldier."

"He's a pilot," said Feliciano softly.

"All right, this pilot. What has he... has he ever..." Antonio scratched his head, looking uncomfortable and hesitant. "What do you... do, together? Exactly?"

"Well, we talk. And go walking. And he's teaching me to speak German, but I'm not very good at remembering it, not as good as he is at remembering Italian, only he always pronounces the words wrong. And we pick flowers and we laugh and we sing. Well, I do. Oh, and the other day we played soccer. I won." Feliciano smiled sadly and tried not to break to pieces when he thought of all the things he would never do with Ludwig again.

"And that's it? That's all? He just... talks to you?"

Feliciano was not sure what Antonio thought he would say. "What else would he do?"

"Nothing," Antonio replied quickly. "Good, right. Now, this morning." Feliciano winced as reality set in again. "What exactly did you tell him, Feli?"

Feliciano felt ashamed and embarrassed as he answered. "I'm sorry. I told him about the Americans landing tomorrow. About the attack during the meeting. And he... he... he knows I am in the resistance."

Antonio closed his eyes briefly. Feliciano could almost see everything fall apart behind them. A horrible aching shame gnawed at his gut. "All right, okay. And does he know of our meeting place in the cantina?"

"No, I never mentioned it."

"Does he know where you live?"

"Not exactly."

Antonio nodded and took a deep breath. "Feliciano, this is very important." He almost looked scared to ask the question. "Did you ever tell this German your surname?"

Feliciano hung his head. He knew his answer would not be the one Antonio wanted to hear. "Yes."

Antonio's shoulders stiffened and his voice rose in increasing intensity. "Does he know Lovi... I mean, does he know you have a brother? And, and a grandfather? Does he know their names?"

Feliciano responded in a very small voice. "Yes. But, but it doesn't matter, because he won't hurt them..."

"Lovino, we have to get you away from the village." Antonio's voice was frantic as he rose hastily to his feet.

Lovino shook his head, glaring down at Feliciano. His anger seemed to have settled slightly, but still looked ready to flare at any moment. "No. I can't leave. Where would I go? Besides, if this German is what Feliciano says he is, we are not in any danger. And if he's not... well, let the bastard try and take us."

Antonio actually laughed, though it was slightly hysterical. "Lovino, listen to me. This is no time to be brave. Do you know what the Germans do to resistance members? You have to get away, now, both of you!"

"What do you think, Feliciano?" Lovino raised his chin defiantly, provokingly. "This German of yours. Will he have us arrested? Should we run? You said he was a good man. But how much do you trust him?"

"I trust him." Feliciano knew as he said it how true it was. After everything, Feliciano still knew that Ludwig was a good man. "He will not arrest us. I swear it."

Antonio grasped Lovino's arms and forced him to face him. "Lovino, please. What they would do to you..." He broke off, shuddered, and pulled Lovino closer. "You don't understand, I've seen it, and I will die a thousand deaths if they do that to you. You must leave. We can not take the chance."

"Feliciano seems to think we should."

Lovino's eyes bore into his, and Feliciano realised. If he was wrong - if Ludwig informed his unit of Feliciano's affiliations with the resistance, if Lovino and Grandpa Roma were arrested and tortured and executed - it would be his fault. But Ludwig would not do that. Even if he thought Feliciano was an enemy, even if he thought Feliciano had been using him for information, even if he hated Feliciano for it - Feliciano knew Ludwig. And Ludwig would never turn anyone over to the Gestapo. "Believe me," he said resolutely. "Ludwig will not have us arrested."

Antonio suddenly paused. He turned his head slowly and looked curiously at Feliciano. "You said your German was a pilot?"

"Yes."

"And his name is Ludwig?"

Feliciano nodded, surprised by Antonio's peculiar tone. "Yes, that's right."

Antonio's eyebrows knitted together. "What is his surname?"

Feliciano thought briefly about not answering. But it could not do any more harm - Ludwig was on that list anyway. "Beilschmidt. Ludwig Beilschmidt. He's a Lieutenant."

Antonio's mouth dropped open. He looked stunned, then completely bewildered, then oddly amused. He eventually let out a deep breath before suddenly bursting into a fit of laughter. Feliciano blinked in confusion for a few moments before looking over to Lovino, who just shook his head at Antonio.

"You crazy bastard."

Antonio just kept laughing, relief evident in his face, in his bright eyes. He clutched his stomach. "I need to sit down," he panted. He almost collapsed into a chair, his face white and wide eyed and slightly shocked.

"You crazy, crazy bastard," said Lovino again. "Have you finally cracked?"

"You aren't in any danger." Antonio fought to gain control of his laughter. He gasped for breath a few times then shook his head and wiped his eyes. He still looked a little baffled, but reassured and almost calm. "The Germans will be prepared for the landing, however. And we do not have a way to warn the Americans this late."

"What does that mean?" Feliciano asked softly, still confused and slightly stunned by Antonio's strange reaction.

"It means things are going to get a little messy." Antonio sighed and ran a hand over his forehead. "And it means we have to tell your Grandpa."

Feliciano felt the blood drain from his face. He clutched his stomach, afraid he would be sick. "What... what will you tell him, exactly?" Feliciano tried not to panic.

"I'll try to leave some things out. But he has to know about this, Feli."

Feliciano's blood ran cold. "He'll kill me."

"No he won't." Antonio smiled kindly, and Feliciano was surprised by how much that hurt. He did not deserve that smile.

"Well he should. I betrayed him. I betrayed everyone. I'm just a traitor, I deserve to be shot, you said it Lovino, you said you would kill me if I betrayed Italy so please just do it, do it because there's nothing left now anyway!" Feliciano choked back a sob. Guilt flooded him once again. How many people would die because of him? What had he done by warning Ludwig, warning the Germans? What would Grandpa Roma think, what would he do? And again Feliciano wondered what it mattered. What any of it mattered. Because Ludwig was gone. Forever. Feliciano could not hold back the sobs anymore. He stood, kicking the chair behind him as he did. He clenched his fists, steeling himself. "Please, Lovino. Please just kill me."

Lovino stepped towards him and for a brief second Feliciano's heart leapt terrified to his throat. But Lovino just shook his head, his expression softened, and tears appeared in his eyes. "Don't be stupid, Feli." Then he pulled Feliciano fiercely into his arms. "As if I ever could."

Feliciano clung to Lovino and cried. Because his brother loved him despite everything. Because of the people who would be hurt because of his betrayal. Because he could not bear to think what Grandpa Roma would do when he heard. And because, even after everything, Feliciano did not regret what he had told Ludwig.

.

Feliciano sat crouched against his bedroom wall. He winced at every shout, every crash, every thud that resounded through the walls from the kitchen where Antonio spoke with Grandpa Roma. Feliciano did not know what to do. There was nothing he could do. He clutched his arms around himself and focused on breathing evenly. The yelling and shouting seemed to last forever. It wasn't until well after it had finally stopped that Feliciano could bring himself to move. He slowly got to his feet and carefully, hesitantly, made his way into the hall. He stopped as he entered the front room. Lovino stood at the open front door, staring out down the road, the afternoon sky dark and pouring and filled with lightning. It took Feliciano a few seconds to notice that Lovino was crying.

"Lovino? Has Antonio left?"

Lovino jumped and turned at Feliciano's voice. He wiped his eyes hurriedly, then shrugged and laughed awkwardly. "I'm such a coward, Feliciano."

Feliciano shrugged and smiled cautiously back. "Without fear, there can be no courage. Ludwig told me that."

Lovino paused, then looked from Feliciano to the road outside. "Just because I love you does not mean I have forgiven you, Feli."

"I know."

"You really risked everything for this German, didn't you?"

"I didn't have a choice. I love him."

Lovino nodded, his eyes hardening resolutely. "I think I need to..." He let out a deep breath. He seemed to have come to a decision. "I have to go." Lovino ran out into the rain without a backwards glance.

Feliciano watched him go, a strange sense of torn happiness and unfamiliar jealousy warring in his chest. And at the same time he felt an uneasiness growing in his stomach. He looked warily at the kitchen door. Lovino had not killed him. Grandpa Roma would not kill him. But Feliciano had never been so scared to see his Grandpa in his life. Regardless, he forced himself to walk into the kitchen, opening the door with slow and shaking hands.

"Grandpa?"

Roma sat at the kitchen table, his back to Feliciano. He did not respond.

"Grandpa?" Feliciano asked again, pleadingly. Roma raised a hand to quiet him, but he did not turn.

"Not now."

"Grandpa, please... please say something." Please say it's all right. Feliciano wanted to beg. He wanted to beg his Grandpa to hold him and sing to him and chase the monsters away, the way he always could when Feliciano was little and lost and scared, back when Grandpa Roma was stronger than anything else in the whole wide world and he knew how to make everything in the world all right again.

"You want me to say something?" Roma's voice was unlike Feliciano had ever heard it. Not angry, not sad, not disappointed. Just flat and empty. "Fine, I'll say something, Feliciano. Today, for the first time in my life, I am glad that my daughter is dead. Because if she could see what her son has become, she would die of shame."

Feliciano reeled like he had been slapped. His heart froze in his chest. He felt shaken, weak, as though his blood had been drained. He could not breathe from the shock of his Grandpa saying something like that to him. It was too much. It was all suddenly too much. Ludwig hated him. Lovino would never forgive him. And now the one person in the world he thought would always love him and protect him from everything had just torn his heart out. Feliciano felt accused, guilty, ashamed, hated. He could not bear it anymore. He almost did not notice as Roma started to turn.

"Wait, please, Feli, I didn't..."

Feliciano ignored him. He did the only thing he could think of to do. He ran out of the kitchen, out of the house, and out into the storm.