I stared up at the horizon, longing for the ocean with everything in me, and contemplating Rafe's questions. How did I feel about homosexuals? Be honest, Aubrey. I feel kind of sickened. It's not homophobia. I am not afraid of people. And I had already dealt with the ethical question of treating people whose views opposed mine, whose race, and other factors were contrary to mine. It wasn't that.

It was religious.

The homosexual movement was trying to single handedly destroy traditional marriage. They didn't just want to live their chosen lifestyle, quietly, in peace. They wanted to force all people to embrace their lifestyle, make it the most acceptable alternative to all traditional beliefs. Conservative religions, conservative views of all kinds. They didn't just want to have joint checking accounts and tax benefits, they wanted people who didn't agree with them, to be forced to agree with them.

They wanted to reinterpret the Bible to say that they were acceptable to God.

I'd read the Bible. They were all His children, no doubt. But their choices were not acceptable, and that was pretty clear.

I looked back at Rafe who was studying me.

"It's still a deal breaker, isn't it?" He said softly and wiped his hair back again, looking out to sea.

"I can handle that you don't agree with me, Rafe."

"Can you?"

"I think so."

"But can you handle that I actively oppose you?"

I kicked my feet, shivered in the warming air, and noticed some couples coming out of the hotel dining areas, walking in the gardens, and coming our direction. I didn't want to be seen this way. I knew how bad I looked, and would probably look tomorrow too. I was sorry about that. There were things to do in Mazatlan that would have been really fun.

"You can't possibly want to go to the Temple with me and actively oppose me at the same time, Rafe. And it's not me, but you that has to come to terms with that. We read the interview questions. If you are actively supporting groups that actively seek to tear down the church and its precepts, you won't be able to answer that question correctly. It's one thing to transgress in ignorance, but we've discussed this enough that for you to continue to say you want to go to the temple, at the same time as you want to oppose what the temple stands for, then you're being hypocritical, and you're sinning knowingly--- that's called opposition to God."

I wanted to get up and hide my sudden sadness in private. I was mad at myself for knowing that this had to come up, and ignoring it. It was too nice to be with him, to pretend we didn't have this major deal breaking difference. But it wasn't just a matter of tolerating a difference of opinion. He didn't just differ, he opposed. I didn't just differ, I opposed.

I could see by his expression that what I'd said really summed it up for both of us. It was still a deal breaker. The deal breaker-- if truth be told.

But I just sat there. I wasn't wearing sun screen and I felt the heat penetrating my bare shoulders. I am a firm believer in sun screen.

But Rafe waved to someone I couldn't see. I looked behind me and he swam to his place between my legs. Ben was coming in the gates with his towel around his shoulders.

"Hey you guys!" He said low. "Is it a lay low kind of day? I found some lay low kind of stuff to do, if you're interested."

Rafe leaned forward, his hands planted firmly and familiarly on my upper thighs, as he used them to push himself up and down in the water. "Are you coming for a swim?"

"Yeah, I saw you guys out here. It just seemed refreshing. Anita is getting the yoga and running groups off their lazy butts."

Rafe pressed up to my eye level. "You want to do yoga or run with the group?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

"Yeah, we're probably not going to be with the whole group today. If you want to get all checked in, you and Jeff and maybe Mutt can come over and start some music later, but Aubrey's just not up for a public appearance today."

Ben left his towel on a lounge chair, and stepped down the steps rather than just dive in like Rafe had. He went under quickly and then swam out to where we were, coming up with that cool guy flourish of wiping their hair back out of their eyes, which also caused all their arm muscles to flex.

He came up close. "Yeah, you look pretty much worse today."

"Thanks." I said with a cracked lip smile.

"I thought about jamming with you guys, and I have some music to go over, so yeah, that sounds pretty fun, but I also saw they have catamarans, smaller ones, or wind surfboards, paddle ones. We could rent those, or just lay out, get an umbrella, hang out on the beach."

"That sounds dandy." Rafe pushed himself up on my legs again, and kind of pressed into me, and then let himself down.

I nodded. "Sounds dandy."

Ben grinned and then took off across the pool, swimming really well. I remembered these guys had grown up at the beach and probably swam in pools every day. My mom always said, you didn't grow up in Southern California and not learn how to swim.

"We could get you a hat and some really big dark glasses." Ben said as he came back to our side. Rafe, by this time was watching me carefully, his eyes had taken on that expression he sometimes got when he wanted to make out.

I had news for him too. There would be very little making out.

I was ready for ibuprofen.

"Well, you know what they say." Ben said looking me over. He reached up and touched my eyebrow. I jerked away automatically and he screwed up his face and looked really sympathetic. "A man never knows what he's made of until he gets punched."

"Is that what they say?" Rafe rejoined, still looking at me like I was cotton candy. And you recall what happened to our last cotton candy...

"I used to box." Ben said by way of reassurance that he knew what he was talking about.

"Did you?"

"Yeah, my first time, I was just sitting down town, outside the gym and this scrawny, little white boy---maybe six feet tall and weighing about 130. Yeah, super freaking skinny kid, comes up and says 'You ever been punched?' and I said no, and he said, 'You never know what you're made of till you get punched.' So I went in and it was sparring day, and I got punched."

"What did the scrawny kid say after you got punched?"

"He said, Don't worry."

Rafe was shaking his head, staring at my boobs and laughing under his breath. "Famous last words of Rednecks everywhere. On a par with, 'Hey, y'all, Watch this!"

We all chuckled.

"Did you get really hurt?"

"No, he gave me good advice, he said, 'Keep your chin down."

"Did you?"

"Nah, macho manliness trumps stupidity every day of the week and twice on Thursday. I thought I knew it all, because I had sparred once with my dojo."

"You got clobbered." Rafe laughed looking up.

"By you, idiot." He said good-naturedly.

"You punched him?"

Rafe looked happily pleased with himself. "I taught him everything he knows about boxing."

"You've been in the ring? Both of you?"

"He's the tall scrawny kid." Ben laughed.

"And he punched you when he knew you didn't know what you were doing?"

"He was so fast I didn't see his hand till it was pulling away from my face." They both cracked up. But having just been punched, I could relate.

"I actually don't think I was punched." I said.

"You look like you were punched."

"I think the first guy hit me. He caused the most damage, but I hit my face on the ground, that's where I got hurt." I indicated the eyebrow cut. "If he'd punched me really, I'd have a fractured face right now, and probably my jaw would be wired shut for the next ten weeks."

"So, you're saying Hollywood lies? People who get punched don't recover as quickly as they look like they do?"

I laughed. "Oh, yeah, very rarely do you just bounce back."

"I think you'll still be eating soup today." Rafe said to me.

"Or a really smooth smoothie." Ben concluded.

"Either way, I am really hungry. Can we go get breakfast?"

"Well, yeah, but what do you guys want to do later? Go sailing? There are tide pools nearby to go look at, we can take a catamaran out and go snorkeling. Well, you probably can't go snorkeling..." He eyed me for ability, and then bit his lips to one side. "But you can watch the boat while me and Rafe snorkel."

"I don't think she's going anywhere." Rafe stated with patient authority.

"Why? I can go sailing and watch you guys snorkel. Come on, please?" I was whining on purpose, and they both eyed me for sincerity. I cocked my head. "I would be out of everybody's way. No one would have to look at me."

"I would have to look at you." Rafe said. "I think you need to rest."

"I think I need to eat." I pushed myself up and Rafe's hand on my butt finished the job. I padded over and got my towel and felt Rafe behind me. A family with about six kids, older teens, walked by and I saw two girls pointing at Rafe and Ben. I wondered if they recognized them, and then knew without a doubt that they did. Rafe's tattoos caught everyone's attention and they were signature as well, not to mention he'd been voted People Magazine's Sexiest man Alive. People probably saw the buses--- big huge Axis signs on the sides, and of course, they knew they were in town, playing two shows tonight and tomorrow night.

Ben had got out as well, and we saw Tim and Manuel coming across the parking lot looking dapper in shorts and button down's, but they were scowling fiercely. I knew we'd left without permission. Was I about to be reamed? My heart fell. I didn't feel like any more reaming.

But Rafe gave them some kind of 'back off' sign and they headed toward the main office. Here we were met by Holli, who had already checked us in and obtained room keys. I saw guys pulling luggage off the bus behind us.

"I'd like to do laundry." I told Rafe quietly and he nodded as he listened to Holli's details. I smelled breakfast cooking nearby and gravitated toward it. But it was actually cold in here with my wet suit on and just a towel. One of those teenagers started toward us, and asked if they could take our picture. Rafe put up his hand. I hid my face in his shoulder and my towel.

"No, no. Not right now folks, Thanks, thanks, but yeah." He was shaking his head. The security guys finally moved us away. I padded after them with Rafe and Ben one on either side, blocking any view of me possible. We were led quite a way away, through several doors until I knew I'd be lost trying to find my way here by myself. And then suddenly, we were on a pathway, a lovely walk through gardens to a private bungalow, thatched roof and all, with the ocean right outside. It was breathtaking and perfect.

******