075:

As we made it out to her VW--- the guys had taken the Suburban, and it was obvious that if Abbie and the kids had been with her at ABCSC, they'd gotten home a different way. In fact they had to have gotten home in our car. So how did Aubrey get the Beetle?

She told me that, chattering away while my brain tried to make sense of everything she was saying. She was animated--- and I had brain fog. I tried really hard--- focused on her--- and watched as my brain randomly threw things like touring, and songs, and concerts and kids all in my peripheral vision.

"Was that weird having the guys in there?" I blurted. She did give me a look, but I had to start somewhere to straighten out my thoughts and get rid of the ones that were clogging me up. I saw her realize that I hadn't been listening to her diatribe, and felt slightly ashamed. But straightened up. It wouldn't take a minute.

"Yes. A little. There's nobody I'd rather share precious moments with than your band, Rafe, but even the blanket wasn't enough. I fear I've been more than exposed."

"I had the edge of the blanket. But yeah, it was weird for me too."

I waited a second and let things settle. "What did you mean you'd do it? Do what? Blog? About us?"

She smiled. "You caught up to me!" Then she laughed. "Yes. I'm going to be more housebound, just me and the kids, or following you around. I'm completely giving up my practice and work for the time being, to concentrate on my family. I think it's a worthy and frankly necessary goal."

I tried to digest this as she fired up the VW and zoomed out onto the road. She narrowly missed another Beetle, who gave her the finger, and who she completely missed in her righteous excitement.

"So, I'm hearing a lot of impossible things." I said finally. "I think I heard other things in the doctor's words."

I saw her gulp, and knew I was right. "You can't come with me on tour."

She swallowed hard and stopped too fast at a light. I saw Aidan and Keeva in the van behind us slam on their brakes.

I ran a hand through my hair. "If you can't go--- and I have to promote this----."

"I can go." She said, this time with much less gusto.

"Why are you doing this? You're the doctor. You know you can't go carrying quintuplets. This isn't a normal thing people do. I heard Dr. Breckinridge saying it's going to get harder from here on out. He praised your nutrition, he praised your continued exercise, but said to limit it greatly, even to---- Aubrey, I did hear that, right? He wouldn't recommend you go on tour."

"He wanted to consult with us, but not with the guys there, and since he had other appointments, and this was rather squished in, we have to come back in a couple of days for the run down."

"But you--- you can give me the run down now, being the neonatologist and OBGYN yourself."

She shrugged, turned in a very yellow light to get onto the freeway and missed the timed approach light altogether. I held onto the arm rest with white knuckles.

"Are you trying to lose our security people?"

"No." She glanced in the rearview mirror. "Sorry. I lost them, didn't I?"

I looked behind me. "Yeah. You should have let me drive."

"I'm not giving up all my freedoms." She said uncharacteristically, and rather randomly. I stared at her blinking eyes and realized she was about to cry.

"Pull over."

"No." She slammed her palm into the steering wheel, looked over her shoulder and yanked us into the middle lane.

I took a deep breath. "Baby, please don't get all upset."

"I'm not upset." She breathed, looking in the mirror again before pulling into the far lane, and then settling down, her shoulders slumping noticeably.

I knew that she was, and I guessed it was about finding the fifth baby, losing the sixth, that we hadn't even known about. I guessed it was because we were both stressed as time drew closer to touring and album release dates, making decisions, and frankly--- keeping ourselves in tune with each other. There wasn't enough time in the day.

I'd made all these grandiose plans in the beginning of our marriage--- keeping up with fitness and social life, producing and whatnot. Then revised the plans to include my idea of parenthood--- we'd had so much happen....

"I want to call your mother." Aubrey said.

Startled didn't begin to describe my reaction. "What for?"

"To make up and include her in our life. It's wrong, this distance. It's been over six months."

I watched as she spotted our exit, peered once again in the mirror and this time put the blinker on to pull back to the middle lane. I wisely kept my mouth shut about her driving.

"I think that's an okay idea." I said calmly. "We should plan something cool to tell her about the babies."

"Your dad said last night that he's filed for divorce. She's going to be a wreck."

"When did he tell you that?"

"In the middle of the night I went down for a sandwich and he was up getting a drink." I was glad her mind had settled on something she wasn't going to cry about. She looked pale though. Maybe like me--- trying to get rid of or process stressors.

"Hey, how about we get off here? I mean, at the next exit and I know a place we can get a cookie and relax and chat for a few minutes."

Her eyes slid to mine. She nodded, and eased into the right lane. I felt the relief coming off her. It was a big day, a really big day, and there had been nothing but stressful big days for quite a while. That couldn't be good for five little babies.

I indicated where we should go, and texted Aidan with the address when we got there. Aubrey had a big floppy hat that matched her ridiculous bag, and her giant sunglasses. She looked adorable--- and pregnant. How had I not caught on that she now really looked preggo? I guess she'd been hiding it or something. How far along was she? Should she be looking preggo yet? What did mothers of quints look like at sixteen weeks?

I held her door for her, and escorted her into the little café, and we ordered two giant cookies and herbal tea and allowed them to seat us out on the deck. It was warm, but they had fans blowing the cooler air from inside. We had an umbrella too.

"Pretend you're the doctor and you're telling me what I can do for the next six months."

"Five months."

"Okay, why don't you explain it all to me?"

She leaned on her elbows, not looking at me exactly, her eyes far away, knowing she needed to confront this issue for all our sakes. No more playing around as if she wasn't one in only a handful of people in the world expecting quintuplets.

"There is no reason to expect that I won't have a perfectly healthy pregnancy."

"That said, there are lots of complications that could come up that we need to be aware of."

She nodded, and her expert eyes glazed over as she began to list them for me. I listened with all the attentiveness I had not been able to muster a few minutes earlier. I heard her saying things I didn't understand and had never thought about, all in this clinical voice that barely even sounded like my wife.

She wouldn't look at me.

"Aubrey--- can you tell me that again? This time in English?"

"It's time to just call mom." She said finally, resting her head in her hands. I dug out my phone and started to hand it to her, but she pushed it away.

"Does your mom know?"

"No--- dear---." She said sarcastically. "It's you, me, Angie, Abbie and the band."

I nodded as I dialed. "You want me to tell her?"

"Yeah, you better, and ask your questions too. I'm just not up to it at the moment."

"I see that." The cookies and herbal tea were delivered and she sat up again, her eyes light on mine. I smiled good naturedly, not letting her mood swings get to me.

"Tracy? It's Rafe." I had it on speaker phone so Aubrey could hear. We got the pleasantries out of the way rather easily. I could literally talk to her about music forever though. I experienced a certain amount of disappointment having to strike up a completely different conversation.

"So, mom----." I stressed the word carefully. "It seems your youngest daughter is about to follow in your footsteps. How about a high order multiples pregnancy."

"Aubrey is expecting multiplies?" Came her unconcerned voice. Aubrey had warned me that Tracy rarely sounded surprised about anything.

"Yes, mom. Quints." She said quickly, and Tracy gave the appropriate responses, congratulations and encouragement. Then she easily ascertained that Aubrey was feeling overwhelmed and needed extra care, and I needed some questions answered.

"So, you want me to tell you what to do?" She laughed. "You who pray about everything and seem to do just fine that way? You want me to tell you what to do?"

"You have all the facts now, what should we do?" Aubrey said, exasperated.

"Well." Tracy sighed. I knew she didn't like telling anybody what to do. Parental advice was a no-no to her, and she'd mentioned that more than once.

"Reduce stress. If you're planning to stay in So Cal, then I would think moving your bedroom apartments to downstairs would be good. Avoid the stairs. Eat your regenerative herbs and watch your calorie intake to keep it appropriately upped as the weeks go on to support you and the babies. I recall that eating for multiples was taxing--- like a full time job. If I was you, I'd hire a nutritionist and a chef, or one and the same. If you're doing regular appointments with--- who, Gerald? Then you may be able to avoid cerclage right away, but keep a close eye on it. Preterm labor is your worst nightmare, and it's always a possibility."

"You would not do the cerclage right away?"

"Did Gerald recommend it?"

"He did, seeing as I had a pre-23 week miscarriage already."

"That's right, I agree. I'd schedule it right away. What did he say your delivery goal was?"

Aubrey looked over at me. "Thirty-four weeks."

I clucked my tongue at her. "He said 30 weeks."

Tracy laughed. "Aubrey knows better. She is giving the best answer she can. Most high level multiples deliver between 25 and 27 weeks, and suffer all sorts of respiratory problems. Aubrey and one other doctor in Arizona practice some unorthodox therapies and have enjoyed a high success rate at delivering 5 to 6 weeks after the national average."

"Well, we should do your method then." I told her with as brilliant of a worried expression as I could. "Tracy--- touring--- out of the question?"

"Touring? Yes. You can tour, but she cannot."

"Mom!"

"What, did I say something you, the neonatologist and OBGYN may not have said?"

Aubrey's neck and chin shook in gritting annoyance. "No."

I shook my head at her. "You do not need to babysit me, Aubrey Elizabeth." I growled. "I can either choose to do some fly in and fly outs, or cancel all of the shows and postpone the tour due to health issues. The bus tour is off. Gees, Aubrey, even I can see, these kids are more important."

She hung her head, and I knew she was biting her tongue.

"I'm here to help." Tracy said softly, and I knew her tenderness was showing.

"I bet you can tell us all about having healthy multiples." I agreed.

"Aubrey knows more than I do about having multiples. If she'd been around before the seps, I'd have asked her to be my doctor. As it stands, I'm sure she is already doing everything she knows to do, and all will be well. I can't wait to tell your dad."

Aubrey straightened, her eyes clear. "I'm sure I'll be asking you a gazillion questions every week."

We said our love you's and good byes and then clicked off. I took her hands in mine and stroked the wrinkles, not looking at her.

"Here's how it's going down. Axis is important, but not as important as my family. We start the tour in about two weeks. We have night by night performances for three weeks, and then I'm done. I'll be gone three weeks and then I'll be home. I think we might have a few really big events that I can fly in and fly out of. Weekend events. Should be doable. In the meantime, it has become obvious to everyone that you and I need to find a different estate. There are a few available for us to look at in the next couple of weeks, and maybe make a decision. You will do nothing more strenuous than ride back and forth from appointments, and read to the kids."

She barked a short laugh. "Okay—that's your take on how it's going to go down, and now I'll tell you how it's really going to go down. Up until such time as I start preterm labor or have any cervical issues--- I will continue to do prenatal yoga and take a walk every day. I will homeschool my kids, and read and play games with them. We can hire whoever you want to help. And you can tour the way you just said and I will join you on your fly in and fly outs."

I stared at her flinty eyes. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we'll have to see about all that."

She laughed in agreement, and I brought her hand up to kiss the knuckles. "You are so precious to me. I can't stand how much I love you."

She shook her head. "I won't do anything to endanger us."

"I have no doubt about that." I said as our warm cookies were brought and out on the street a group of fans had congregated, and were taking pictures, and talking rather loudly. We'd been spotted.

"We have announcements to make. I think we'll do that from the privacy of our home, and a well-mannered interviewer, and some hotty pics." I took a big giant crumbly bite of cookie, and held it out to her, for her obligatory nibble. 

*****