*****

We had to swim a short distance and I did feel that funny cramping, and the anxiety of having watched way too many shark movies. I kept running dates through my mind. Could it be a period? Had I miscalculated? Had I had a full period since the miscarriage? It had been three months--- or thereabouts. Had I spotted before—ever-- prior to the miscarriage? Had I spotted right before the miscarriage?

If I was pregnant, and this was a second miscarriage was something wrong with me? What would cause a cyst to burst and cause a bloody show? The pain I'd felt had been consistent with a cyst bursting. The blood had been consistent with a bloody cyst bursting--- or---

What would cause a bloody cyst? They were not common. Cysts were filled with fluid that usually absorbed easily. It would have to be--- well, if there was pain--- like sores--- it could be chlamydia—not. I did not have an STD, and where would I have gotten it? Ewwww---- I do not have an STD.

Endometriosis? Uncommon, but possible.

Cancer of the endometrial lining. Infertility.

I pursed my lips, caught my breath and my footing and plowed through the water like there was no tomorrow.

Rafe's hand was under my arm instantly, even with Virgil on his back. His eyes met mine with no words, and I could see that he was running over possibilities in his head as well. His were way different than mine I'd wager, and they all had to do with our impetuous rendezvous in Trunk Bay--- and he would be blaming himself.

"Rafe----." I started out, low enough that Aidan wouldn't hear, and Virgil wouldn't understand.

His eyes searched mine again.

"I'm okay. It's a fluke is all." I started swimming again.

He pulled me back up gently. "It's not a fluke. I think you're pregnant, and I think you might need special care."

"I'm neither." I assured him with a quirky smile. "Trust me, I'm a doctor--- I'm this kind of doctor."

He rolled his eyes. "Trust me, I hold the priesthood, and I'm your husband."

I stopped swimming. I looked him right in the eye. "Did you really have some sort of revelation?"

He tried not to look affronted. I tried not to feel that I was hurting him by doubting him, and in that moment, I had the strongest impression--- yes, just that, an impression, the feeling that came to me felt like it wasn't my own. And that impression was to listen to my husband. I held up my hand.

"I'm sorry." I said immediately.

He cocked his head to one side and blew out his breath. "Let this moment go down in family history, the day Aubrey believed in the power of revelation."

I closed my eyes and felt once more. The impression had been fleeting. It wasn't exactly the same as it had been just ten seconds previous. But the after impression was that it had been real--- and not just me--- that it had been from God.

"Don't worry, I don't hold it against you. I mean, I don't understand how you can be a practicing Mormon all your life and not truly understand continuing revelation, or the stewardship you claimed all along to----."

"Don't." I said. "It's a little disconcerting to be just that--- a practicing member all my life and come face to face with my lack of faith."

He stopped treading water, and pulled me around. My feet settled on the well-worn sand. I looked up, blinded by sunlight behind him.

"I. Am. Thrilled." He said pointedly, and when I looked down, he tilted my chin just enough, and stood close to shade me. "Thrilled to find that my wife is still learning and growing. You have no idea what it's like to be married to near perfection. To feel like I have so much catching up to do, and---- just the other day, when you saved the Christmas performance--- you knew just what to do--- partly that's because you've prepared yourself, and the majority of it is because you were inspired, and you simply take it every day--- that inspiration--- to do things you don't even really know why--- but you do them—you obey--- and they work out." He breathed shallowly. His hands cupped my shoulders and Virgil peeked over his shoulders like a monkey. "Aubrey---- you're still learning and growing. Thank you, God, that we can experience learning and growing together!"

I nodded, tears welling in my eyes. My own thoughts had frightened me--- the medical, clinical ones. But the lesson here was to trust God and trust that he would keep Rafe apprised of my needs. That was the correct way things happened. That was the way I'd been taught. Now I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that that way was the right way.

"You are so sappy." Rafe said.

Virgil pounded his fist into Rafe's neck. "My mom isn't zappy!" He defended, and we both laughed.

"Zippy, maybe." Rafe grinned at me, and with one hand pushed me back to swimming, as it was so much faster.

*****