032:

As it turned out, we were able to move both twin beds into Felicity's room, she liked them both--- two dressers as well, and the vanity table and mirror. All of which appealed to her, and made for a very cute bedroom for her. There were two more unused rooms upstairs, and I happened to have two more queen beds, so we painstakingly moved them both. We ended up having to call Ben, and he and Shellie came over to help move the dressers and other nightstands and things when we got tired.

We had a light supper of fruit and salad and then settled in to watch a Disney on our bed after Fred went in to call Janice, and Rafe was on his laptop working--- which meant he was comparing prices for the tour next year--- flying, hotels, buses, travel, venues etc. I thought he paid somebody to do this, but he said he always did his own legwork before running it past his tour manager and promotion agent. He'd have a meeting here in a couple of weeks. Felicity eventually fell asleep on our bed and we carefully moved her into her new bedroom and she stayed asleep.

That was our cue.

I showered and came out in lingerie, and Rafe put down his computer and stared at me. "Well, hello gorgeous."

"Hello, handsome." I replied leaning against the wall, letting the robe fall open. That was all it took, and we were able to prove that the honeymoon wasn't yet over.

*****

The touring season was finished, and it was the last week in November. Thanksgiving was coming up and we'd been invited to Marshall and Angie's for a party feast. Angie informed me that Ammon and Laurel would be there too. Of course, we invited Fred, who said he was planning to go to Lance's until Lance revealed that they weren't going anywhere--- so I asked Angie if they could all be included. She was more than happy.

Up until that day, Rafe and the guys worked tirelessly setting up the studio. Their own album was in the finishing processes as well, but they'd got Parker to come in and advise on all of it. And he was just as enthusiastic as ever. He was a common sight around my house morning and afternoon, but he always went home to Utah to his family at night and on the weekends. It was amazing having so many pilots in the family.

Rafe booked flight lessons, and started them the day I took Felicity up to ABCSC for her fist counseling session, and for my interview with Rebeccah Blakesleee, the head midwife, about me working there a few days a week.

It was early Monday. Felicity was snuggled in her own bed and Rafe and I were snuggled together, wrapped around each other is more like it, our morning routine about to start, and the night's lovemaking winding down. I lay with my bottom cuddled close to his hips and thighs, his arm across my stomach and chest, and our hands entwined.

"Aubrey."

"Yeah, baby."

"I've never been this happy before."

"Me neither."

"I never would have thought I'd meet someone like you, not in a million years. You're incredibly giving. You make me secure, and I've never been secure."

I sniffed, and snuggled closer, if that were possible.

"I hear music for you--- all the time. I love that."

"Rafe--- I never would have thought I could love anybody as selflessly as I do you. I didn't think it was possible to want what you want --- all the time." I wasn't sure I was referring to sex, and there was plenty of that, but maybe just that we both honored God, and we both wanted a family and to make each other happy. I always wanted to make him happy.

He pulled my chin around. "Are you going back to work?"

I shivered, as his eyes sought mine in the faint dawn light. "I might. I'm looking into it, while Felicity has her first private session." We'd both taken her there now three times, and played in the playroom with other kids, met the counselors, and even talked one on one with Frances Sands. Today was the day she'd meet for a few minutes alone with a child psychologist. There had been too much trauma to just ignore it, even though after the first initial screaming sessions and the funny nursing on me session, she had calmed down and fallen into a routine. Of course, Rafe and I stayed with her always. One of us or grandpa always held her, talked to her, played with her, or kissed and hugged her. We did this naturally, but later we were instructed to do just this, to help her feel that her needs were being met and she wasn't abandoned.

Rafe snuggled me close, kissed my eyes and kept them closed. "You're meeting with someone?"

"The head midwife. Just to see if I would be interested in doing that sort of work, interested and available."

"What would it entail? I'm sure it's not a nine to five job." He sighed. "I'm sure I can't stand to be away from you that long."

"However did you manage to date models who traveled all over the world, while you yourself were traveling all over the world?" I snickered, and he cupped my breast and pinched the nipple. I squirmed and turned to face him as best I could, inserting a leg between his. He grunted at the intimate contact.

"I drank a lot. I partied, I slept around, and cheated on them, and I watched a lot of porn, and played a lot of music."

"Wow, sounds like a guy I'd be interested in."

He kissed me soundly, as I rubbed against him.

"I know, right? How in the world did I deceive you into marrying me?"

"You didn't. I know who you are. It's who you are today that matters to me."

"Oh baby, you are so damn trusting." He blew my hair out of my eyes and shook his head at me. "Naïve, and trusting."

I shrugged. "I don't seem to be having any issues with those things. Should I be worried?" But I also rubbed two fingers together to indicate that he owed me money for cussing.

He bit my lower lip. "You suck."

"You'll be broke if you don't curb that tongue, Stryker."

We both heard the sound of Felicity padding down the carpeted hallway, the rustle of her bed sheets, the whisper of her little body sliding out of bed, and retrieving the mermaid doll.

"Aubrey?" Her sleep befuddled voice. I found my garments under the covers and slipped into them with a little help from my husband, as the precious little munchkin came to my side of the bed as she nearly always did these days. Not because she didn't want Rafe first, but because he seldom woke up first.

"I'm here, love bug." I scooted over and pulled her into the warmth of our embrace.

"Are we going to yoga?"

"Yep." Rafe said, slipping into his garments as well, and then pulling her over my body to cuddle her between us. She sighed in sleepy contentment. Rafe made her dolly talk and ask if she had sweet dreams, and if she wanted to say her morning prayers, and sing her morning songs--- they had this little ritual--- singing half in Spanish and half in English, songs that they made up or he made up for her. He also sang the eensy weensy spider and popcorn popping on the apricot tree. Their new favorite was called I know a chicken----

I got the Kindle and read us a scripture out of the Book of Mormon, we were almost finished with it from when we'd started in June. We said our morning prayers still in bed, sometimes under the covers, and we each took a turn. Then we got up and dressed in our yoga clothes and trooped downstairs to start our smoothies, and I checked the bread machine to see if the rye bread I'd started last night was ready and warm, it was.

Felicity checked the side of the refrigerator to see if it was egg day--- a calendar with the days of the week indicated with pictures what was on the menu each day---- this avoided that constant begging for something else, since she had way different preferences than Rafe and I did.

Grandpa came out, also dressed in yoga shorts and a t-shirt, looking sleepy. I knew he'd stayed up talking to Janice last night, and those nights generally meant he was up late and emotional in the mornings. But he didn't miss yoga no matter what.

Felicity went to him for morning kisses and hugs, and he picked her up and asked her about her dreams, which she told him in broken English, using words we'd practiced while upstairs. Often she made these things up, but we instinctively knew to let her do this, and encouraged her to talk about her parents. I'd started writing down her dream memories of them, any little thing in journals that I kept all over the place, in fact, I think there were several notebooks lying around conveniently so if she started a memory, it would be easy to grab.

Anita let herself in and went downstairs with barely a good morning, which wasn't a good sign. She'd been having some kid problems lately--- her kids were grown, but her son had just moved back in with her, and he wasn't always the nicest.

Yoga was always was one of our favorite parts of the day. Rafe was very advanced, and performed his moves as if the experience were vitally important to his well-being. His approach to it influenced my own feelings, and very much rubbed off on Felicity and Grandpa.

Afterward, Felicity ate her breakfast with Grandpa and Rafe and I went for a short three-mile run. Then we all showered and dressed, and as I did my hair, Rafe sat on the bed, on his laptop, with Felicity playing with her mermaid on the floor beside him. Grandpa left for work. It was a simple, straight forward and very calm routine.

He looked up as I came out of the bathroom, dressed in casual office apparel. Rafe blinked. "What the---."

I looked down at my nice fitting tan slacks, the layered three tops, and casual jewelry, my hair up, and makeup done. Felicity looked up as well, and decided she needed makeup. We went back in the bathroom to apply her blush and lipstick---- it was just chap stick. And Rafe stood in the doorway eyeing me speculatively.

"Baby." He said softly, and I looked up. "Is this real? Are you really that girl?"

"This is the girl you first met, Rafe, over there, in my garage, except that day I wore scrubs, and I'd been in surgery all day."

"I know. I just haven't seen her much."

"If you're hoping she'll just go away, you're going to be sadly disappointed." I patted his cheek as I went by him, intending to get Felicity dressed and then take off.

He grabbed my wrist, and slid his palm up to my sleeve. Our eyes met. His were determined. "How long will you be there this morning?"

"Rafe, it's okay to feel this way, but we can be apart and not ----." I didn't know what to say. He was shaking his head.

"I didn't like being on stage and having you separated from me in an audience. I don't like it when you're on shore, and I'm out in the water. I'd prefer to be on the same surfboard as you. Can't we just enjoy the closeness while it lasts? If we hurry it away because we are so busy, it'll be that much faster...."

I slipped my arms around him. "I know you're insecure."

His Adam's apple bobbed against my skin. I tightened my hold on him.

"It's okay, everything is going to be okay." I said.

He was shaking his head. "I believe you, I trust you, I actually want you to be happy, but...."

I smiled. "I know. It's hard. Would it help if I told you I feel it too?"

"Obviously not as bad as I do."

I snorted. "I'm a woman---- contrary to popular belief, the biology does make us different. I have that innate sense of 'get on with it' and you probably feel the innate sense of 'get it over with'. You have your role and I have mine."

"Yours is simply to be my wife, and her mom. You don't need to go to work."

"Since when did you get so ---- conservatively provincial?"

He stared at the ceiling. "I hate women's lib."

"It's not women's lib, Rafe. I didn't get married at eighteen, I didn't start a family as soon as I was out of school. I had to support myself. Now I have this interest...."

"I know." He was frustrated. "How can I protect you if I can't see you?"

"I can't sit around watching you build a record label next door all day."

"Come to the studio with me.... You have talent...."

"Flimsy." I retorted.

"Come flying with me."

"Flimsier."

I started to pull away and he pulled me back as Felicity came back into the room with a dress pulled haphazardly over one arm and shorts on the other. He looked at her and grinned. "Now that's the ticket, baby girl. You look splendiferous!"

She grinned, but her arm was caught and she looked like she might get frustrated and cry, so he knelt and helped her put the dress on over the shorts and tied her bow in the back before she ran off to find shoes.

He pulled me in again, and cupped my bum cheeks to him. I could feel all there was of him, and my eyes widened. His hands roamed over my back.

"I need you."

"I need you too."

He blew out his breath. "Nothing I say is going to make any difference."

"Nothing."

"Listen--- you may not know this--- but I'm not this guy. I let the freaking models go to work. I encouraged them--- every single one of them. I ---- didn't---- love them----."

"And you can still be just as confident, Rafe. I'm coming back. I'll be back here in four hours tops. We can go to that Chinese Food place you've been wanting to take me to and then--."

"We'll go to the zoo. We'll ride the train to the zoo. The San Diego zoo."

"You have that--- that---- Jimmy Fallon Show tonight and ---."

He slapped his forehead. "I get it."

"We can still go to the zoo. How about the petting zoo? I know of a great one in Sylmar. They have exotic animals we can pet and play with. Cool ones. Come on--- I'll cut our meeting short, and meet you next door in three hours."

"Three hours?"

"Yes."

He tightened his hold on me again. "Okay. You guys be back here in three hours. I'm going for a flight lesson, and then to work on the studio."

"It's a deal." I took Felicity's hand, but not before he lifted her up and hugged her fiercely.

"You want to go pet some exotic animals, Lissie?" He snuggled her neck with his facial hair, making her giggle.

"Yes!" She screeched, reaching for me to pull her away from his onslaught.

"Then you make sure Aubrey comes back on time!"

"I will!"

He handed her to me, and then swooped in for a very passionate--- not in front of the kids--- kiss. I guess that rule wasn't going to apply in our house.