021:

Axis went to Rosewood.

They'd been there before. I can't remember what year they said, but it hadn't been all that long ago. They'd gone to relax and recuperate after a particularly strenuous tour. There was going to be another tour next summer--- a few venues stateside, a few in Canada--- and then mostly Europe. They would be in buses again.

Rafe and I stayed in my rooms at the main house while we worked half days at our vacation home, helping---- seriously helping. We hauled trash, we stacked wood, unloaded trucks with supplies and cleared ground for landscaping.

The other half of the day we were in the studio.

Working in studio with these guys was ---- somewhat grueling.

I stayed in the background, even though Rafe often insisted on having my input. I was always there. It was very interesting to me.

But their personalities.... I had to chuckle.

For instance: They argued incessantly.

Mutt had brought in Skittles. The candy. Jeff wanted some. Mutt only gave him the orange ones, because he liked the rest better. Jeff wanted yellow ones too. Mutt wouldn't share. Rafe grabbed the bag and dumped them on the floor and they all scrambled around on the floor, wrestling and knocking stuff over in an effort to collect all the candy under the ten-second rule.

Which shouldn't be a rule by the way. It technically depends on whether or not you can wash whatever fell off.

Another time Dylan had posted some pictures of our former tour on Facebook with some derogatory comments. Rafe was offended, and called him, asking him to take them down. Ben thought it didn't matter, that they weren't completely offensive, and could be good for publicity. Rafe had his phone in Ben's face, showing him the pictures, that were entirely ridiculous--- not offensive--- just boring and silly. Not even good pictures. In fact--- as Jeff pointed out, they were so bad, they could have been anybody. So then the guys posted comments about the fact that they could have been anybody and made up crude names of people they could have been.

This day, we'd been out in the late September heat for too long. I felt chilled in the cool studio, but I was flushed red from the sun and so were the guys. Jeremy and Hannah were canoodling in the sound room, and ignoring the banter in the main room, while Kareem and Parker went over tracks and pieces of the songs they'd been working on.

I was sitting, holding phones... Rafe's and Mutt's and Jeff's. I wasn't exactly looking at them, but if I moved they reacted and came on, and sometimes I pressed their unlocked buttons and then let them lock up again. Just because I was bored.

Rafe's phone began to vibrate. I knew his code, as I knew all codes anybody told me. That was another weird thing I could do--- remember phone codes.

I answered it. "Hello? Rafe's phone." I figured it would be family or a close friend. He didn't usually give out his number.

"This is John Simmons. Is Rafe available?"

"Let me get him. He's in production this afternoon, if I can't retrieve him personally is there a message I can give him?"

"Yes. Have him call me."

"Okay, please hold on, and I'll see if he can come out." I leaned my head into the interior of the sound room and crooked my finger at him. He and Ben were comparing the insides of their ear buds.

He saw me. "It's John Simmons." I whispered, remembering that John Simmons was the name of Felicity Nemesio's lawyer.

He leaped over Mutt who was sitting on the floor, looking at a book, or something. He grabbed the phone and whirled into my chest rather hard, clutching my back to him. I could hear the voice on the other end of the line clearly.

"I am calling to let you know that Ariana Nemesio's cousin, Jayda Jeane Adamson has relinquished custody of the child to the state of Connecticut. Her grandparents have signed off on her and a person has stepped forward as next of kin--- a member of the Sonora cartel, in Mexico. The judge is reluctant to award custody out of the country now that all the citizenship papers have been filed and she's been awarded US citizenship."

"We want her." Rafe said softly. His eyes rose to meet mine, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. My eyes were wide, and dry, feeling the warmth of the studio, as well as the cool of the air conditioner. I felt my insides shaking.

"I have put in your petition as per your instructions, Mr. Stryker."

"How long has she been in state custody?" I heard Rafe ask this pertinent question and my heart clenched picturing this poor little motherless waif, being thrust from one unwanted home to another, and now in foster care.

"Two weeks."

I looked at him, squeezing his arm harder than I realized.

"We can be there tonight. How long will the paper work take?"

"I have your home-study and training classes paperwork approved in hand." John's voice came back sounding very confident.

I turned Rafe's chin to mine. "Is this really what you want?"

He hesitated. Of course, he hesitated. There had been so many changes in his life. How could he be freaking sure of anything?

But we'd had that little bit of counseling, separately and together after the tour, and we'd taken Mommy's classes while we were here, after we'd found out about Felicity's possible troubles finding a forever home. On the off chance.

We'd talked only a very little bit about real adoption--- like other than Felicity.

Rafe turned to the wall and blew out his breath. "Did you say, John? When can we get custody?"

"Soon. Within the week."

"We will be there. When is better? Tonight? Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow will be soon enough."

"Text me addresses, John, will you?"

Rafe clicked off and kissed me distractedly as he pocketed his phone.

I stood there listening to the sounds of the guys bantering, of the stop and start of the beginning of a song. For a few seconds, it seemed surreal--- as if I were in a time warp. I had this weird displaced feeling.

"My universe just tilted." Rafe said, his hands clutched in my blouse.

I laughed. "Yes. I am experiencing exactly that."

Rafe took a deep breath and I thought for a moment he was going to tell everyone our possible news. But he looked at the ceiling, and starting low, he began to howl.

Of course, I had to join him.

By now--- by the time my air support had ended and Rafe's was still going--- everyone in the room was standing, everyone was staring, everyone was coming to the doors, and everyone was wondering what was up.

Rafe finished, his eyes were watery, and he was grinning, but he looked red and splotchy. He howled again.

I had him around the waist, and I let my hands wander up to capture his chin and bring it down to mine. "Tell them."

He sang the words. "We are possibly--- probably going to become parents tomorrow. We are adopting Felicity Nemesios."

There was a very stunned silence. I realized then that Rafe had not even told his closest friends the behind the scenes intention of our hearts. Wow.

I could see Ben's eyes intently resonating with Rafe's. Jeff took one step toward us, and Kareem came in from the other room. Jeremy and Hannah came up for air.

"That the little girl from Teotihuacan? Her daddy the drug lord?" Mutt asked, still sitting on the floor, the only one who hadn't moved at Rafe's sudden howling outburst.

"Gomez Nemesio." Rafe nodded, coming quickly down from his high. His hand stayed linked with mine. I had my other hand on his stomach as if I had to hold him back. He had his arm around me.

"The Sonora Cartel Lord." Ben said with perfect monotone. Rafe's eyes slid to his. He nodded.

"Rafe's gonna be a daddy?" Kareem's voice was the most peaceful accepting thing I'd ever heard. He stepped close to us and embraced us, his hands holding Rafe's head to his, as he leveled eyes with him and shook his head slowly. "My man--- you move me, you move me."

Parker had come to the door. "Who is this amazingly wonderful child?"

I looked over at him, my peripheral vision acting like it was stuck in one place. "A little girl--- who lost her parents at Teotihuacan." Just the saying of that name was electrifying to all of us who'd been there. It was like a code word and we all knew what it meant.

Levi was actually on his drums. He did this amazing rhythm thing with crashing cymbals.

The room went silent again. It was as if no one knew what to say.

"I heard you tell someone you'd be traveling." Jeff said. "Does that mean you're leaving?"

Rafe sucked in his breath and let me go briefly, stroking his chin.

Then he looked at me. He shook his head slowly again.

"We need to talk." I said and began to usher us out.

Rafe turned back, he went around the room and hugged everybody, spoke to each one, and got lots of hugs in return. His eyes were shining dark. His body language was critical, and honest. But he held himself with confidence.

"Yeah." He laughed when he got back to me and to the door. "Studio time is over for now. I'll see you guys in a few weeks back in LA."

"Good thing the gigs are up." Jeremy laughed, hugging and kissing Hannah at his side.

Rafe laughed, grunted in agreement, waved distractedly and opened the door for me. We had just walked out--- walked out of the studio--- our lives on hold. There was a brick retaining wall, and I made it to that and needed to sit down.

*****