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He parked and got out, ran around to my side and helped me out as if I were not three weeks pregnant but nine months. I jerked my arm away and stalked haughtily in before him. He ran and opened the door for me. I smiled sweetly as he leaned in and stole a kiss, grabbing me by the ponytail gently to prolong the contact.

"Number three: I still have the side dishes to get before the barbecue," I told him.

"Like what? Like-- make them? You cook?" He went to a free standing shelf set and perused the little boy clothes.

I gave him a dirty look. "I told you I cook." I picked up another little jumpsuit thing, blue with a white collar. "What about this?"

"Is it a boy? You think it's a boy?" He was far too eager.

I looked hard at my stomach. "Hey, you, in there, are you a boy?"

Rafe knelt in front of me and pulled up my shirt to press his lips against my flat belly. I tried to push his face away as the clerk came to see what we were up to. He had pressed his nose to my skin and was making this weird growling noise. "Hey you, baby... you a boy? A boy?" For a guy with a signature falsetto, he just showed me a much deeper range.

The clerk cleared her throat, folding her arms over her ample chest impatiently. Until Rafe looked up at her with those lovely blue eyes surrounded by those amazingly spider feet lashes--- and those perfectly shaped white teeth showing off his really hot sexy smile.

"Hello there." He murmured and replaced my shirt, smoothing it gently. I smiled. This was my husband. On his knees. This.... Was the man I had married. Take him or leave him. It is what it is.

"Can I help you?"

"Do you have this....?" Rafe held up the blue collared jumpsuit. "In my size?"

Her fingers drummed on the opposite wrist, but her eyes crinkled expectantly. Rafe the celebrity was quite fetching.

He stood up, and then he took the little outfit and three others and walked sedately to the front and told her he'd pay for them.

He handed me the bag as we exited and I laughed at his antics. "Boy clothes! Boy clothes! You better hope it's a boy!"

"I better hope it's three boys." He said as he started the car, and unfortunately, I winced. He glanced sideways and suddenly slapped his forehead. "I'm sorry, baby, Gaw--- I mean so, sorry. That was senseless and insensitive. I'm a brute."

The fresh air on the sidewalk had done nothing to alleviate the image of three babies born this morning. And here I was--- out here--- shopping as if nothing had happened--- no life changing events---

I covered my eyes with my hand and tried not to picture the little body I'd held this morning. I'd been holding off the image for the better part of the day. The feel of his weight in my hand, the tiny fingers, the closed eyes, the wrinkled skin.... I swallowed hard, and Rafe pulled over before we got to the freeway. He leaned over the console and took me in his arms, and I unexpectedly---- burst into really sobbing--- unprecedented tears.

"I don't know--- where that came from!" I howled.

"You didn't do it, baby. You did what you could to keep him alive. It's not your fault."

"His sweet little legs, curled up in my hand. Oh, Rafe--- he was so---- why am I crying now? Why?" I buried my face against his neck as he stroked my head and whispered calming words.

"It's okay to cry. You're a great doctor Aubrey, a great lady. You did a great thing saving that mom so she can raise those other babies. Don't beat yourself up."

"But you didn't hold him! You didn't feel his skin, his body, his weight, his silky smooth head." I cried and cried, not realizing how badly I needed to cry and wondering if this reaction was mostly hormones or what.

He held my hands tightly and stroked the palms, the fingers, the wrinkled skin. "Let me feel him." He said softly, his eyes pleading into mine.

I held his hands then, seeing the perfect tiny body instead of Rafe. I pressed his fingers with the indentation of the baby soft back, the baby soft shoulders.... The baby soft arms.

Rafe's phone rang, just as the spirit was whispering that we were going to be okay. I took a deep breath and pulled my hands away, and Rafe shuddered, his eyes closed, he brought the phone to his ear.

"Yeah?"

I could hear the speaker on the other end. "Rafe? This is John Malcolm. I just wanted to let you know that Felicity Gomez has been successfully extricated from Querataro, Sonora, and is being housed with her maternal grandparents in New York City."

"Are they--- they adopting her?"

"This is considered a trial period before the actual adoption."

"You'll let me know?"

"Yes."

Rafe hung up, tossed his phone and took my hands, looking into my eyes. "Baby, don't be afraid to cry in front of me. We need to cry. We've seen a lot, and done a lot, and been a lot. Just let it happen, and let it go, okay?"

"Okay." I sniffed and wiped my face. "That was about Felicity? Did her grandparents come through?"

"It's a trial period, but I'm sure they'll fall in love with her. I'm just keeping tabs on the situation to make sure she is well taken care of. I feel obligated to the man Gomez was at the end, that day, the husband and father, not whatever else he was in his life."

"I honor you for honoring him." I told him sniffing and wiping my eyes and nose on his shirt. "We have to stop at the store. I need to get stuff and make the salads while you practice with Ben and the guys." He started driving again and I wiped my eyes, pulling the visor down to look at myself in the mirror. I looked like I'd been through the ringer.

Rafe got on the freeway, and then got off, finding a local market quite easily. I was thankful he knew the area, as I didn't. I hadn't been out to Ben and Addie's.

We ran through the store with my little list, Rafe riding the shopping cart, gliding ahead of me and then falling behind as he looked at things I didn't need or want. People stopped and stared at him, because not only was he fantastically good looking, and a celebrity they were trying to figure out just how they knew him, but he was making a spectacle of himself. I hurried to get us out of there.

Not that I needed a bodyguard---- suddenly I thought of Jake and I crashed into the cart. It was a day for it. Dang, I felt myself welling up again. Jake! Jake!

Rafe saw my distress and incorrectly assumed it was the baby that had died today. He came up beside me and took me under his arm, turning me away from the small girl group that was gathering.

"Baby---." He began, turning me into his chest, and tightening his grip, as I assumed he looked for a way out. We shouldn't really have ditched Aiden, or anyone else he had hired.

"I'm okay. I'm sorry." I felt stupid for making a scene, especially now that the girl group had descended and was getting bolder. You could hear them calling his name over and over.

Rafe was not into the whole being mobbed thing again. He gave the girls a smile, and ushered us out to the cashier, the girls, about ten of them, followed us. Rafe paid quickly, not answering when the cashier asked if he was who he looked like and if she could have his autograph. I grabbed my bags and Rafe grabbed the last one and we hurried out. The girls behind us were getting brazen and somewhat belligerent. I was appalled at the things they were calling out--- comments about sex and sexual acts mostly. I found it very offensive.

And Rafe became downright disgusted.

"Hey, bitches...." He called finally as he secured me in the car and opened his own door. He leaned over the top of the roof and put one leg up, balancing easily. "Maybe you can't see that my wife and I are not out promoting a new album, or on tour, or on TV at the moment, and we value our private time. Maybe we would have responded to you, if you'd asked nicely, but you didn't. Rudeness shouldn't be rewarded. I'm not public property. And just so you know, the kinds of things you are catcalling--- I find offensive. I wouldn't answer you no matter how many times you suggested it. No class, ladies, you have no class."

He got in his car. The girls looked instantly stricken, but recovered fast enough to yell some obscenities. I guess they really did think he was public property.

"You don't deserve to be treated that way." I said.

"I've been pretty loose in my day." Rafe spun out, leaving them with a gravel spray. "I'm also known for being rude to fans who act like bitches."

I nodded, staring straight ahead.

"You're probably thinking that my music leads them on."

"I wasn't thinking that." I said flatly. I really wasn't. I was annoyed with people in general for butting in where they were obviously not wanted. Invading other people's privacy.

"Maybe I do deserve it. But I've known way worse..."

"I'm sure you have. I've never seen you make any vulgar or provocative movements on stage or in public."

"I'm accused of sexy dancing on stage."

"Do you call what you do dancing?"

He gave me a sidelong glance meant to inform me that what he did could definitely be considered sexy dancing.

"What did you think it was?"

I laughed. "You run and jump and skip and clap your hands over your head. I call it showmanship with a lot of energy."

"I'm not always running."

"No." I thought of the times he stopped running and just crooned to the microphone--- the times he did his little bounce thing---- perhaps--- just perhaps that signature movement could be----

"What are you thinking?" His eyes on me were bright.

"Well, when you are on stage and you do that little bouncing thing..."

His eyes got perplexed.

"You know--- you kinda bend your knees.... I don't know how you do it--- it's very intrinsic."

"In what?"

"Intrinsic--- something unique to you."

"I like hearing that you think I have unique moves. Do you find my moves sexy?"

I glanced at him sideways. He was studiously perusing the road ahead. I cocked my head to the right. "You definitely have sexy moves."

"On stage or off?" Now he was teasing.

"Rafe..."

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "You want I should get us a room?"

He happened to be passing a motel. "I've always thought that statement was a little metaphoric."

He swerved into the parking lot. "I've always wanted to be told 'Get a Room'---- when you're feeling it, baby, and just----." His tone was wicked. "And just do it."

I looked at the front of the motel--- not especially expensive or nice. Just ordinary---- where you might expect to be told, "get a room."

"All this talk about my sexy moves...." He parked, got out and came around to my side, reaching in his back pocket for his wallet as he took my hand.

"Are you kidding?"

"Nah--- it's my fondest wish right now--- to 'get a room' with you---."

I allowed him to tow me to the front desk, where he told the receptionist that we needed a room. Now. And he left no speculation what we intended to do with the room once we got it.

I felt the heat creeping up my face. The receptionist, for her part did manage to look us over--- did manage to take Rafe's ID, and did manage to give us the key to a room after running his card. I could see she wanted to ask him something--- say something memorable--- but she was too flustered.

Rafe didn't seem to notice--- when he tuned people out—he generally tuned them out completely. He took me to the elevator and pressed the button. Every few seconds he gave me some eyebrow working suggestive looks, until the elevator door closed and he grabbed me to him, raised my leg to encompass his arousal, and wound his hand under my shirt, kissing me passionately.

"Oh yeah." He pressed me up against the metal walls with the wood wainscoting in the center of my back. "This is what I'm talking about." The elevator door opened and he lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, showing off his prowess.

I had the key card in my hand, for my part--- I was fast becoming just as attentive. The room was close. We passed an older couple, dressed to go out on the town, and Rafe gave them the thumbs up sign as he adjusted my weight.

"Oh yeah, baby." He crooned and I dropped my kisses to his neck and throat. We fumbled at the appropriate door, and made it inside--- he let me down and we were both stripping.

"This is how they do it in the movies, right?" I breathed, pushing him back on the bed as if I couldn't stand to wait one more second.

"No movies I've been in." Rafe rolled over till he was on top of me, kicking off the last of his pants as he pressed me onto the bed.

"And you've been in a lot?"

"One."

"And it wasn't this sexy?"

He was rubbing his stomach to mine, pulling my legs up, fondling my breast---- and I raked his back with my fingernails as he entered me---- crying out in passionate longing.

*****