*****067:

Two weeks later to the day:

Aubrey:

Motherhood is a milestone in and of itself. There is nothing like birth, no matter how you experience it, being the deliverer, the catcher, or the perpetuator who has to watch and realize he did this to you.

Rafe slept in a chair near my bed at ABCSC, a beautiful room, exactly like a bedroom--- one I'd been informed my mother had first nursed my adopted sister Maille in when she'd received her just hours after birth.

All good dads did this. His head was tilted at an odd angle, and both of his arms were laden with swaddled teeny tiny babies. I snapped a picture with my phone, and he stirred slightly and then his mouth fell open. I waited for the snores, but they never came.

In fact, I knew it was time for the baby boys to go back to their warmers. The nurse was bound to be in to take vitals and check us all out any second.

It wasn't a NICU. Gerald had consented to deliver at ABC as long as I was thirty-five weeks, and I was. Closer to thirty-six weeks actually, no signs of difficulty, exactly like my mom had been.

Sometimes genetics do actually play a role, along with the healthiest of habits.

We had one slight aberration and that was not even an aberration for us. Our littlest daughter, Tia was likely a Downs baby. Her palms only had the one line and we were waiting on tests at the moment. But right now, as I held her three-pound little body close to my breast and stroked her sweet little face, I knew it wouldn't make a difference at all. Having special needs in our family was just a small part of our life together.

I sat up against the pillows, a light on the bedside table. I'd been writing in my journal, I know I wasn't very good at it, but it was necessary. I couldn't forget this night, or anything about this magnificent experience.

Just the fact that at this precise moment all five of our quints were alive and weighing in at between three and four pounds was a miracle. I held Tia close to me, but Peyton and Sereniti were in their warmers near my side, I could see them both clearly, knew they were all right. I'd held each one, even tried to breastfeed, but they were all sleepy babies--- not a lot of energy, even though the lungs were declared fine, and no NICU was needed. We'd probably stay in isolation here at ABC for a little longer than you might otherwise.

And I was fine also.

I prayed every few seconds in gratitude for this blessing. Safe normal delivery of five preemie, but healthy babies. It was a miracle.

I looked at Tia, her thin lips pouting, her tiny closed eyes, just a line across her peaceful face. The undisturbed sleep of a baby in her mother's arms.

I had to look over at Rafe, holding the boys. One on his chest, the other on his arm, snuggled carefully. I knew if either of them moved Rafe would wake up.

Rafe told me tonight what went down the day of my shower.

At first, I was stunned. Beyond stunned. So angry.

I felt betrayed and deceived.

For about five minutes.

And then I looked carefully at my husband, his knobby white guitar player fingers shaking, his cheeks highly colored, his eyes pleading with mine as never before. And I knew. He'd done what he had to to protect our family and he always would. Part of protecting them was protecting me at that stage of my pregnancy. None of what I held in my arms right now would have been possible if he and I had fought over him going to Mexico that day.

"You did the right thing." I finally told him and he'd literally bit his lip to keep from crying as we held a baby each between us, and he kissed me the way he had our very first kiss, hungrily, full of wanting and excitement.

It was out, he didn't have any other secrets and he felt immense relief.

He told me the whole thing, start to finish, even his trip to the temple, and his amazing answers there.

I felt nothing but love for him, and was thankful.

I looked over at him now. He was beautiful to me, arms curled carefully around each little teeny tiny baby boy. His features on the outside weren't what made him so beautiful either. Although those weren't half bad.

It was the way he seemed to stare right through my eyes when he looked at me. The way we communicated our love, by caring more for each other than for ourselves. I felt rejuvenated now that the babies were born and all was well with them. The huge burden of not knowing had been lifted and I felt free to begin a new chapter.

His eyes opened. I watched as he looked first at Troy, the blue hat embroidered with his name slightly askew atop the itty bitty head. He bent to kiss the tiny forehead, and then turned and kissed Sailin. The babies didn't move, didn't stretch, were content after the trauma of labor and delivery. It had been a big day.

Then his eyes rose to mine.

"Hey, momma." He yawned.

I choked up--- feeling the hormonal stuff kicking in. He smiled at me. "Is it time to put these guys in their beds and me to snuggle my beautiful wife?"

"Yes," I said softly.

"Good." He rang the call bell on the bed and almost instantly our nurse was there as if she'd just been waiting outside. We got the babies settled, and all the vitals taken. It hadn't been that long since our attempts to pump colostrum from my breasts had yielded just a few ounces, and my brave moments of breastfeeding had been largely rebuffed. We would give them twenty-four hours, even as preemie as they were.

Rafe crawled onto the bed as soon as she left. He spooned me close, careful of the soreness in weird places, as he nuzzled my neck and cheek.

"Thank you for believing in me." I whispered.

"I knew you could do this." He answered, more interested in my skin than in my words.

"Thank you for giving me this beautiful instant family. It doesn't quite feel real still, it all happened so fast."

"Yeah, we didn't even get to celebrate our anniversary, but I've got something amazing planned. When you're up to it, of course."

"So, when, in a couple of years? When I'm free again?"

"You're free now, love." He assured. "You are amazing and can do whatever you set your mind to."

"Even go back to work?"

Without hesitation, he smiled against me. "If that is your desire, then of course, by all means."

"I don't know if it's my desire, but I just wanted to hear you tell me it was okay." I clasped his fingers roughly, feeling the emotion of the moment.

"Thank you for having my sister in the room, Aubrey. I think it went a long way toward healing the rifts between us."

I chuckled. "She's finally coming to terms with Lance's choices--- although she wants to resent them, he's just so darn happy, you have to be happy for him as well."

"Well, I thank you again. It meant a lot to me."

I smiled and brought his fingers up to my lips. "You deserve the best."

"I know, and we could get all sappy here, talking about it--- but since we both know what that feels like, and the words aren't really needing repetition at the moment, here's what I propose we do----."

I held my breath. What exactly would he have us do tonight of all nights? He got up and went to the closet. Inside he'd brought clothes and now I sat up with interest.

"Are we sneaking out?"

"So briefly they'll hardly even know we were gone."

I slid my legs out of bed. Rafe brought out cotton pajamas, slippers and a robe, all brand new, and very soft. He stripped for my benefit and then dressed in new pajamas of his own and a similar bathrobe and slippers.

He pulled my messy hair into a braid and tied it off with a black hair tie he found on the nightstand, and he hit the call button one more time. This time she had to have been waiting outside the door, so quick was she to come in.

"Are you ready?" Rafe asked the nurse and she smiled.

I started to walk to the door, but he was there, behind me, and picked me up, held securely against his chest.

"Wow, you weigh a lot less than you did." He breathed and I slapped his shoulder for good measure.

The halls were dimly lit and quiet, as Rafe made his way to the elevator, not letting me down. I draped my hands over his neck and burrowed my head into his. He grunted and chuckled at my antics, and then took us to the roof.

I'd never been to the roof. I had no idea what to expect. I'd never even known anyone who had been to the roof. I knew there was a helicopter pad there and I hoped fervently we weren't planning a ride. I'd have to decline, but as we exited into the warm summer air, I didn't hear any beating of blades, and was relieved.

Instead, I was surrounded by beauty.

Rafe deposited me on a softly cushioned lounge chair, amid a myriad of plants, and trees and a miniature waterfall, lanterns and hanging candles, the sounds and smells of the sea and the lights of the harbor and the city below us.

The lounger was large enough for both of us, and now he brought me a lovely fluted wine glass with sparkling cider, and a huge bright ball of cotton candy.

His guitar was neatly hiding behind a tree, swaying in its pot, rustling in the breeze.

"I wanted to get you a gift, to commemorate this amazing day, Aubrey, but I couldn't think of anything you'd appreciate more than this. There are no jewels as beautiful as the five downstairs, all alive and kicking. What I offer you tonight is this: my heart song."

And with that he began to sing the most beautiful song he'd written, he said, especially for me, and for this night. In it were words that the two of us knew--- memories of our courtship, and our fights, our making up, our love. In it were the times we'd swam, played basketball, sailed the sea, hiked mountains, rode horses, and been in the temple. It was all there. Mud baths in Mexico, Laker's games, concerts, adoptions, barbecues, issues....

In it were our people. Our love for our family, for the gospel and for God.

It meant more than I could say.

I got up and went around behind him, my robe draped arms finding a way to slip around his chest from behind as I leaned in to whisper and sing with him, finishing the song together.

The last notes lingered in the air as he settled his guitar between his legs and let one palm circle my face as we kissed.

There were no words, they'd all been said, but there was this moment, and we were sharing it, as I knew we always would.

We'd revolved around each other for over a year now, every thought, every memory, and every experience.

Our innermost feelings had been revealed and fortunately come to terms with. I had to learn to be a mom, a wife and less controlling. I had to learn when to give in. And when to stand tall. Rafe had to learn how to support me, and how to be my man.

And now, I really felt we had risen to the occasion. Maybe not as high as we could go--- there is always room to improve, to aspire higher.

But there was no turning back.

We'd come so far.

I felt the cotton candy before I tasted it, and heard that really weird, earthy sound of my husband kind of groaning as he kissed me. I shivered at the strangeness of it, loving him for remembering, and kissed him back with far more enthusiasm than I ever had before.

Here's to the future.

May it always be rising!

*****

A/N

I don't often ask for votes or comments, but as you can see, we are at the conclusion of this Aubrey novel, and I feel suspiciously like the whole saga is actually done! So I am asking for your comments for sure. Please let me know what you thought. Please help me improve it. 

And please feel free to read the rest of the series. So far I've posted "Melia"'s story in two books, and am working on posting "Tracy" and finally "Kell and Maille"'s story which still needs a lot of work.

However, that being said, since those are all completed works that just need posting and polishing, the story I'm starting to write now is going to be-----

da da duh---

Ben's story!!!!

Will you read it when It's done????

Thank you to everybody who reads these works, I never knew how much it would mean to share my stories with others and how encouraging it is to see that they actually enjoy them!!!! keep in touch!

Deb