******061:

Aubrey

I was out on the patio. The heat today was bearable, it had rained. The kids were playing with Lance's three, really busy making sand castles. Rafe had gotten them a trampoline with one of those nets and Will and Virgil were out-jumping each other. Abbie and Hannah, Justine and Nicky were tanning, seriously. I had the umbrella over me. Wasn't a big fan of tanning right now. I was hot enough.

They were talking weddings and marriage and all that jazz. I felt like the outsider. I couldn't get into it at all.

Abbie and Hannah seemed to have called a truce though, and that made me happy.

Justine and Jeff had set a date. October, right? I couldn't remember.

Pregnancy brain--- like a sieve.

I know she told me once, but I couldn't bring myself to ask again. I think they were talking venues or colors or something.

I drifted. Islands over the mountains--- magic islands drifting. I could see little creatures climbing all over them. Magical creatures. To what purpose? None. They were looking for Rafe, and they had songs to give him.

Nicky pulled her lounge chair over next to me. "So, Aubrey, how are you feeling?"

That's not a real question, I thought irreverently. Isn't it obvious?

She chuckled. "Nevermind."

"Yeah, nevermind." I agreed.

"So, did Lance tell you we've made some decisions?"

Oh, no.... I thought. Really? Isn't it too soon for that? I shook my head and shaded my eyes even with sunglasses on so I could see her platinum hair. She had black brows.

She chuckled again. "We've really prayed about it. We feel like we're supposed to be together. Seriously."

I took a deep breath. "I like you, Nicky, I think you're a sincere woman, and really cool. But how can you be sure?"

"Prayer, dummy, I said we prayed about it."

"Yes, you did. And you feel like you got the answer to go ahead and tie the knot?"

"Yes. Not right now. We're going to date for a while. Lance has been celibate for about six months, we've met with his Bishop. He's treating it like a disfellowshipment. So, he can go to the temple after a year if everything feels right with his leaders."

"You're going to go to the temple?" Uh-oh, the parrot had broken free of her cage and was at it again.

She smiled with her nearly black lipstick smile. Seriously.

"That's the idea."

"What about--- like are you two going to---."

"Have sex? We don't know yet. We're actually finding a small attraction toward each other as we spend more and more time together. I love his mind, he's the smartest guy I know. And he's definitely committed. Once he sets his mind to finding out something he researches it incredibly well. I love that about him."

You know, she doesn't speak the way she looks. She looks all butch and Madonna in the same fashionista. But she speaks like a cute little Molly Mormon.

"He can be impulsive. And emotional." I warned.

She chuckled for the third time. "And I'm not?"

I batted my eyes against the glare. "I don't know, are you?"

The snicker that met my ears sounded leeringly wicked. "Look, I've been in Lance's shoes. Twice. I married a guy, had the kid, and tried to keep my side of the bargain, but I couldn't give him what he needed. So we called it quits and I went and found me a lovely lesbian to shack up with. I denounced the church and all its teachings, I had to climb my way out of that dungeon, Aubrey, yeah--- not fun."

"It must have been so hard." I tried to put myself in her shoes, the dungeon image really helped me picture it.

"It was. Harder than anything you've ever imagined."

I imagined a really deep dark, dank, disgusting, dungeon.

"But Heavenly Father does love and understand all His children. All of them. No matter what. He can work through every error in judgment, every handicap, and every sexual persuasion. He will make it right if we strive to keep His commandments. That's what Rafe has done, isn't it? Changed his persuasions around, and look at you guys now."

I had to admit this was true. Although the Rafe I knew had already been well on his way to changing persuasions. He still struggled some--- ideologies mainly. How he felt about things. Cussing was an issue--- but I wasn't convinced he thought of it as a sin. And perhaps to him it wasn't. Maybe it was my issue more than his. Maybe I needed to learn to love him despite his one flaw--- it was a flaw I chose to make a flaw, wasn't it?

I didn't know him when he was sleeping around, partying, doing drugs or anything illegal. The Rafe I knew was clean, moral, and positive.

"Anyway." She went on when it was obvious I'd checked out momentarily. "Me and Lance are going to wait, pray, make sure."

"I applaud you guys."

"Thanks. It means a lot to have your support. It really does."

My cell phone buzzed. "Hey." It was Rafe. I smiled at Nicky and let my eyebrows speak for me. She nodded and moved back to join the girls.

"Hey." I greeted him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Really good."

"Babies stuck in there hot and tight?"

"Gees, Rafe."

He laughed. "Sorry. You're the one with the dirty mind in this case." I heard him blow out his breath. "Listen, keep them in there another day, okay?"

"I plan on more than just one more day. Why, what's up?"

"Oh, I've got this full day tomorrow. Won't be available all day. Just don't want you going into labor or anything. You're not right?"

"Not if I can help it." I sighed. "What are you going to be doing?"

"Oh, just stuff."

"With the show?"

"Among other things, don't worry. It's just a full day. Okay?"

He said that periodically when the amount of technical jargon was over my head. I nodded even though he couldn't see me. "Yeah."

"Good. See you in a bit."

I cocked my shoulder. "Okey dokey."

*****