Katakuri knew the moment you were getting overwhelmed, he could feel it vividly.

And that did little for his own mental health when the other Whitebeards just kept getting in his way with their thinly veiled bullshit.

"Ay ay ay, where you going off to in such a rush, Katakuri?"

"Katakuri! Do you have a minute?"

"Hey a moment of your time before the recess ends?"

The fuckers were blatantly doing it on purpose at this point, and while on a somewhat conscious level he understood he had to true obligation to be held back by them, but the thing was that they themselves weren't aware of the situation.

So if he were to react so strongly to such minor provocations, they'd surely escalate the situation, which was the last thing he needed with you so close to cutting off the end of your rope and using it as a chew toy.

How the fuck was he supposed to explain the way he could feel your mounting psychotic break as if it were his own? And if you were to go apeshit, then everyone would be in mortal danger?

Coming up with a solution wasn't made easier with the fact that he felt he was suffocating.

Practically choking with anxiety, as it were- enough so that the fear of snapping himself was becoming less a back-minded worry and more a genuine concern.

The Strawhats seemed to have caught on- which was worrying just as much as it was relieving, because that would stand to insinuate his poker face was slipping and nothing else was more terrifying than letting it drop in front of all of their allies, when you were in imminent danger and practically screaming for help no less.

The problem was that the Whitebeards were keeping watch over them as well.

Nobody was let near the balcony he'd seen you slip into- the balcony he saw the old man slip into not long after- ohfuckohfuck you were in trouble...!

And then the shouting began.

And even before the first comprehensible word could be made out, he already knew..

"Zombie..!"

Everything went straight to shit.

'Fuck it'

No longer caring for appearances, Katakuri took advantage of the momentary confusion to plow through the people previously standing in his way, and from the corner of his eyes, he could catch the Strawhats doing much the same.

Before anyone else could react, he motioned his siblings to take over damage control and handle the crowd in his absence.

Though.. when they all finally managed to force their way outside, the mess laid before them was nothing less than everything they had feared.

Your body was near completely hanging over the edge of the railing, tense and hunched over in a position that looked both defensive and ready to attack, especially with the way your jaw was open - your facemask on the floor - teeth bared and unhinged as if in preparation to take a big bite.

Worse yet, the object of your hostility? Edward fucking Newgate.

The man had his arm outstretched, with your own clamped around his wrist in what could only be a death grip- as a previous victim of your undead strength, he knew well how that must've felt.

The only thing more terrifying than the prospect of you potentially mauling Whitebeard in a defensive panic attack, was the fact that, now that he could focus again, he realized he couldn't feel your panic anymore at all..!

It was like all of the turbulence and chaos was forcefully smoothed over with an icy fist of rage

Your fear had pushed past its limits and entered the realm of blind, calculated aggression.

What does he do? How does he avoid setting you off? How could he possibly resolve this without things ending up a mess? What will it take to make the Whitebeards let this go? Can he even possibly do that..?

Maybe.. things would be better off if he just killed everyone he-

"No, (Y/n)!" Ah, right, the Strawhats.

With wide eyes, everyone watched, stunned, as Nami - without any hesitation whatsoever - began to march over where you and Whitebeard kept each other upheld in a precarious position.

"Oi! She's turning don't-!" Ace's hand was only slapped back when he stepped forward to keep her back, and the fiery woman only gave him a dirty glare before pressing onwards.

"Hey! Stop! You're gonna make it bite Pops!" Marco- or at least he was pretty sure that was Marco, it was hard to tell with the adrenaline still swimming in his head, began to step forwards himself, only to be quickly shut down by the other two.

And seeing that they had that under control, Katakuri turned back to you, where the woman was now only a few feet away from the two of you.

...He decided to stand back for this.

It would be in bad taste to interfere with your family during such a stressful time.

Besides, he could hear things starting to grow out of hand back inside the house, and the last thing anybody needed was panicked Whitebeard members swarming the balcony and potentially setting you off.

He just hopes these people truly know what they're doing with you..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your head was swimming...

Things were.. kinda.. blurry? Distorted?

....Was that how you pronounced that word again..? Ah shit.. you were forgetting words again, you thought you had started to get over that phase..

Oh well...

Things.. were probably over now...

With how scrambled your consciousness was, you couldn't rightly piece it all together, but you remembered- or at least you remember remembering getting a panic attack with Whitebeard freaking you out.

You were probably making a mess as you.. spoke?

"(Y/n)!"

Eh.

It kind of reminds you of before you woke up.. no wait.. 'before'..?

Did you even remember there being a before between the human you and ghoul you? Ugh, you couldn't even think straight.

"(Y/n)..!"

It was frustrating.. you were really hoping to show everyone that you really could handle yourself..

Ever since joining up with Luffy, as fun as it all was getting to know everyone, meeting new people and making friends who accepted you for who you were.. you also couldn't help but feel like you've been just pulling them into more and more trouble..

And now here you are, likely having a meltdown at the super important meeting you were absolutely not meant to have a meltdown at.

"(Y/N)!"

Everyone was going to be so disappointed in y-

"(Y/NNNN)!!" THWACK!

You yelped in surprise as you were suddenly thrown - or punched, more like - out of your funk by an iron fist of feminine rage.

Of course, your eyes were still blurry as fuck, but you'd recognize the smell of that shampoo anywhere- especially with it pressed up against you as someone pulled you into a very tight hug.

"You idiot..!"

!!!!

You made a soft sound of confusion and discomfort, not entirely understanding what was happening or why, but the familiarity of the scent and the tightness of the arms surrounding you grounded you.

Your cheek felt tender and numb.. actually..

Your whole body felt kinda sore- at least on the inside, as if all of your muscles were previously twisted up and torn up under the strain, your brain was still a whirlpool of half-baked thoughts and emotions, but the presence of this person - Nami, your brain finally supplied - acted like a beacon in the fog.

It was then, while safely held in the arms of one of your friends, did you burst out in messy, ugly tears.

You tried to focus on her, really you did, but everything was still so hazy and blotchy and honestly just really hard on the eyes, "N-Nami...! I... I din't 'ean to... I just...! I thought I cou'd..! I panicked and-"

"Shhhh" she cut you off gently, her thumb brushing away a few of your tears before seemingly giving up and just letting you get your waterworks out, "I know, (Y/n). We all know... But you can't keep doing this to yourself.. Flying into a panic when things get rough.. You're not alone anymore, not every mistake is going to lead to life and death.. You don't have to struggle through this by yourself, not when you have us."

"..Muaaghhh" You gave a mournful sound, looking askance as you curled up in her embrace, embarrassed and shamed.

"Please, take your time to calm down, (Y/n), we'll handle the rest! There's no burden too heavy when we all carry it together!"

You peeked over Nami's shoulder and gave Usopp an appreciative smile, while his words weighted on you, they were also strangely comforting.

You had always prided yourself on being able to handle things alone, especially when you had been alone, back in those days where all you had to worry about was finding the next meal and avoiding any trigger finger people running amok.

You've also noticed yourself reminiscing those days with fondness as of late, with everything going wrong and becoming such a mess, but..

You knew it wasn't the times where you could live without consequence that you were truly missing, nor were it the times before where you hadn't something as precious as your friends to lose.

What you were missing was your self-sufficiency.

The idea that you could handle everything that was thrown your way without needing to lean on anyone else.. that fact that the reality of your dependency was causing you to freak out this hard.. perhaps that was something instinctual of a ghoul, or maybe you were always a stubborn little shit.

It was hard to tell when you were too busy weeping and slobbering all over Nami's clothes.

"Is that zombie fucking talking..?"

'Oh... right.'

You sniffled, growing weary and nervous as you were reminded of today's disaster.

The Whitebeards.