Kabanata 42

Perfect

Flowers, chocolates, stuffed toys, and a lot of things I always received every time I go home from school. But those kinds of stuff have no name. But some of them are coming from Trevious. Maybe the reason why I started liking him it's because he knows what I like.

And seems like I started falling in love with whoever sent me this all.

"Fiona, you have another gift from Trevious. Look baby, kit's cute," ani Mommy kaya nilapitan ko siya diretsong tiningnan ang inabot niyang stuffed toy.

I saw the small note written there with Trevious name. Pero arang mandalas kong mapansin na sticky notes lang iyon at parang minsan ko nang nakita iyon sa kuwarto ni Mommy.

Nangunot ang noo ko at nilingon siya.

"Why does he always give me these? He just often shows up," takang tanong ko.

"He's busy Fiona. He is already handling their business. But can't you appreciate it? He always remembers you..."

Ang daming naglalarong katanungan sa isip ko pero hindi ko na inusisa pa. I'm still grateful about this. It seems like someone courted on me, traditionally.

"Buntis ko, gising na ikaw. Gabi na po baka gutom ka na at si baby natin...."

Mahina akong dumaing nang narinig ang malaumanay niyang boses at puno ng panunuyo. Dahan-dahan akong nagmulat at tumambad sa aking ang mukha niyang nakangiti.

His upper hair looks wet. His eyes seemed to be telling something yet he didn't say anything. He looks so excited about something.

"You showered?"

He nodded. "Yes, I also prepare our food."

"Anong oras na?"

"It's already evening. I have done sending food to your mother and Nelia as well. You don't have to worry anymore."

I smiled as I got up. "Thank you. Napahaba pala ang tulog ko."

"It's fine. Are you feeling good now?" usisa niya.

"Yup, maliligo muna ako. Hm, anong pagkain pala natin?"

Every time I was asking for food I always imagined he would cook again. Nagiging maselan din ako minsan dahil parang luto niya lang ang kinakain ko.

"Secret," he laughed. "You want me to shower you?"

Agad naningkit ang mata ko sa sinabio na tinawaanan niya lalo. "Kidding. Just rest your eyes for a minute before you showered."

Nang nakaupo ako ay parang ang gaan-gaan ng pakiramdam ko. Sumulyap ako sa kanya at doon ko napansin na para siyang umalis dahil sa bihis niya.

Lumungkot ang mukha ko.

"A-Aalis ka?"

"Nope."

"Bakit ka nakagan'yan?"

"Secret for now."

Napabusangot ako lalo at tumayo.

"Puro ka naman secret eh," sabi ko sabay talikod mula sa kaniya patungong banyo.

Ang simple lang naman ng tanong ko eh.

Saglit lang akong naligo at lumabas na rin. Tanging tapis lang na tuwalya ang nakabalot sa akin. Wala na rin siya sa kama paglabas ko kaya diretso akong nagtungo sa cabinet at kumuha ng susuotin.

The first thing that caught my attention was the casual navy blue dress with a v-line neck shape and there are some unnatural pearls disseminating.

Wala naman kaming lakad pero parang feel ko isuot.

Kinuha ko iyon at tinapat sa katawan bago tumingin sa salamin.

Dito lang naman ako pero parang gusto kong suotin. At kalaunan nga ay napagpasyahan kong isuot na ito.

After a couple of minutes fixing myself. Lumabas na ako ng kuwarto at diretsong nagtungo sa kusina kung saan naabutan ko siyang may inaayos habang nakatalikod sa akin.

Napaisip ako kung puwede kaming lumabas tutal ay pareho naman kaming nakabihis kahit hindi namin pinag-usapan.

"Can we go out?"

Nataranta siyang bumaling sa akin at parang may nabitawan pa ito na agad binulsa. Nangunot ang noo ko pero nang lumingon siya sa akin ay napangisi siya.

"Ano iyan?"

"It's nothing."

Naglakad siya palapit sa akin at agad na ikinulong ang mukha ko gamit ang dalawa niyang palad at walang sabi-sabing hinalikan ako.

Saglit lang iyon dahil tumigil din siya.

"I have prepared something for us," aniya at dahan-dahnag bumaba ang kamay niya sa balikat ko at tinalikod ito.

"Close your eyes," aniya kaya sinunod ko kahit walang piring.

"Huwag mong bubuksan kapag hindi ko pa sinabi. I trust you Fiel," tawa niya.

"Opo," tugon ko.

He instructed me for directions. At sa bawat hakbang ko ay palakas nang palakas ang pagtambol ng dibdib ko.

"Ready?"

"Ano bang mayor?"

I was tempted to open my eyes yet his words still dominate me not to.

Ilang hakbang pa ang ginawa ko bago siya huminto.

"Puwede na. You can open your eyes now..."

I remained closed my eyes as I felt the cold wind spanking my face as I felt calm. The ambiance filled with mix smells of food? Napalunok ako dahil hindi nakawala sa pang-amoy ko ang paboritong pagkain.

"Anong mayroon?" I asked instead.

"Open your eyes now, Fiel."

His hands caressed my back down to my waistline and squeezed it gently before next heading to my belly and fondling it too.

My chest beat is getting more massively bounding as I slowly opened my eyes and the whole place made me gasp in astonishment.

"W-What is this?"

Mabilis na nanlabo ang mga mata ko dahil sa nakikita sa balkonahe.

There's a round table with two chairs and a lot of food, drinks, and my favorite branded chocolates, flowers, and so on. Those kinds of stuffed food seem familiar.

I remained stunned as I amazingly looked at the table. It was quite simple yet fancy. The surroundings are filled with flowers which is my favorite.

My mouth literally formed like a big "O" but now the rods came out. My expression is enough to express what I'm feeling right now.

Never in life that I would experience this. Nanatili akong tuklala nang maramdamna ang pagpatong ng ulo niya sa balikat ko at yumakap naman ang braso paikot sa bawyang.

"You like it?"

"N-No..." I whispered.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I t-though you would like it since those were your favorites. Maybe I should put more effort next time," he chuckled but his voice seemed sad. "I just quickly arranged it while you were sleeping. I don't have enough time so I ask for help from the staff of this building. What do you want to eat?"

"I love it, Liam. I love it so much..."

Bumaling ako sa kaniya kasabay ng pagpatak ng luha sa mata.

"Para saan 'to?"

Kumislap ang mga mata niya nang pahiran niya ang luha sa mata ko. He then pinched my nose and chortled.

"Of course, this is for you."

"Bakit?"

"Did I told you right? Araw-araw pa rin kitang liligawan?"

"Pero-"

"Bo buts buntis, let's go. There's more..." aniya at hinagilap ang kamay ko at hinawakan iyon nang marahan palapit sa lamesa.

My gaze silently roamed around the decorated place. Hindi man ganoon kalaki pero hindi iyon naging hadlang dahil sa elegante ng pagkakayos.

The surrounding is filled with roses mixed with red and white. Mayroon ding maliklit na baloons na gold.

Napakagat labi ako nang lingunin siya. "Sobra na 'to."

Ngumisi lang siya at may dinukot sa loob ng bulsa. It's a small remote control. Nang pinduitn niya ito ay biglang lumiwanag ang kapaligiran na halos masilaw pa ako kaya napakip ako ng mata.

Nang nakabawi ay tiningnan ko iyon ay may maliit na ilaw ang pumapalibot sa amin mula sa itaas kasabay nito ang pagtugtog ng musika.

I felt mute for everything. I'm indeed surprised as the songs started. Perfect by Ed Sheeran.

I found a love for me

Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead

Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet

Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for

"May I have this dance, my gorgeous wife?"

Emotional akong napalingon sa kaniya nang ilahad niya ang palad sa harapan ko. Nanginig ang kamay kong inangat ito at ipinatong sa kaniya.

Our eyes met and filled with so much undying emotion written. My tears burst more as he pulled me closer to him.

Hinapit niya ang baywang ko at inilagay roon ang kamay. Inangat niya ang kaliwa kong kamay at pinaikot sa leeg niya. At ang bakanteng kamay ay nakaangat, at nakapatong sa kamay niya.

"I may not be your first dance but I will surely be your last dance," he said, full of authority as we started moving our feet in sync with the beat of perfect music.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark

With you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass

Listening to our favourite song

When you said you looked a mess

I whispered underneath my breath

But you heard it,

Darling, you look perfect tonight

I can't find the right words to say. I was like a snag while staring at him. I can't imagine myself without him, I can't imagine my future if it's not for him.

"Baby, you look perfect tonight..." pahabol niyang liriko kaya namula ako at mahinang hinampas ang dibdib niya dahil sa nagwawalang damdamin.

The music ended as we stopped moving. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko nang mahigpit at dinala iyon sa labi niya. Hinalik-halikan.

I blushed more.

"I won't promise to make you not cry, since we don't know what other challenges would test our life but I will promise on the top of this place, under the moonlight... that with all my best I will make you the happiest person in this lifetime. I may not be the best at all times but I will build myself better. To be more deserving to you..."

"Liam..." my voice thrilled.

"There's more..." he whispered huskily as something blow up somewhere. Nang tumingala siya ay sinundan ko iyon.

Napakurap-kurap ako, napaawang ang labi nang nakita ang fireworks display sa itaas. Muli na naman nag-unahan sa pagbagsak ang tubig sa mata.

Bumaba ang ulo ko nang naramdaman ang pagluhod niya sa harapan ko habang nakaladlad ang maliit na box na pula.

"I never imagined myself without you, Fiel..."

The small sterling diamond ring is sparkling in front of me. This jewelry is so damn expensive. Oh gosh. "Liam..."

A simple wedding ring for me will do but he gives me an expensive one

"In the midst of our chaotic situation," he stated. "Will you marry me again?"

"I already married you, Liam-"

"But this is different now, Fiel. We will marry in church. With approval, peace, and with parental blessing."

"Sus pinasyonal mo lang, eh," singit ko.

"Hm? So will you marry me again?"

"Could I say no-"

"AlrIght, I love you too," natatawa niyang sambit sabay tayo at mabilis na inangkin ang labi ko.

"Ikaw nagluto lahat?" takang tanong ko.

Para akong naglalaway habang nakatingin sa mga pagkain.

"Nope, I only cooked your favorite carbonara and the rest are ordered. Why do you want something to eat?"

Huminto ang kamay niya sa paghiwa ng baby back ribs na kumakalat ang masarap na amoy. But I was not into meat. I am more of a vegetarian.

Sunod kong tiningnan ang carbonara na niluto niya hanggang sa may naalala ako.

"I want carbonara only," sabi ko.

"No, you will eat rice and dishes. You need to eat a lot."

"Edi pasta madami."

"Hindi puwede. You need rice," aniya.

Sumimangot ako.

"Did you remember something about that carbonara?" tanong ko.

Saglit siyang natigilan at kalaunan ay tumango.

"Hindi mo ba talaga pinlano ang nangyari sa atin?" It sounded like an offended question but it was still not clear on me.

"Nope," he simply responded.

"Eh bakit may camera? Bakit tayo may video? At paano nakuha iyon ni Melissa?" sunod-sunod kong tanong kahit na inamin naman na ni Melissa pero mas gusto kong marinig mula sa kaniya.

"Hindi ka pa rin naniniwala sa akin? Have you still felt regretful?"

Namilog ang mata ko at agad na umiling-iling ang ulo.

"Hindi, hindi. I'm just wondering about it. Still not clear to me. But it doesn't mean that I regret it. I just wanted to be enlightened, Liam. I'm sorry if I offended you."

Umiwas ako ng mata sa kanya at inabot ang carbonara. I thought he was disappointed with me but he get the carbonara food.

He stood up and served it to me.

"That night, I already made up my mind to let go of my feelings for you since my best friend proposed. I took that night to have memories with you even in a clandestine way. But because we both have an influence on alcohol, it drove us crazy," simpleng tugon niya at mukhang wala naman na sa kaniya.

"I'm not lying when I say, I like you. I really tried to avoid you, to forget you, so I dated girls that were once you caught me. Pero wala talaga eh, kahit anong gawin ko ikaw pa rin ang hinahanap ng mata ko."

I nodded trying to stop giggling.

"And about Melissa," he licked his lips as he rubbed his eyebrow. "A-Actually, I tried to date her..." aniya na ikinatigil ko.

"Huh?"

Umasim ang mukha ko sa nalaman.

"You know I was desperate to forget you just not to steal you. So I did that," he explained so I pouted.

Kaya pala kung umakto siya noon parang may namamagitan sa kanila. Kung pumasok sa opisina niya noon gano'n na lamang. Tsk.

"But it just once. I stopped it since I realized she's my employee and I don't want to use her for my desperation," dagdag niya.

Nag-iiba ang timpla ko.

"Pero maganda siya ah?"

"Mas maganda ka."

Napairap ako sa kawalan.

"Sexy siya..."

"Mas sexy ka."

"Masarap siya."

"I don't know. But you are the yummiest," banat niya kaya umangat ang ulo ko sa kaniya.

"Inaasar mo ba ako?"

"What? Ikaw ang nagtatanong. Sinasagot lang kita," aniya pigil ang tawa.

"Bakit hindi mo agad sinabi na dinate mo siya? Binigay mo iyong video sa kaniya?"

"Of course not. I'm not insane to do that. I was drunk that night. So I tried to check the video so I can delete it. I was hesitant since that was m-memorable for me even though it's a betrayal for my best friend. I just fell asleep undecidedly and left my phone open. Hindi ko naman inaasahan na may papasok sa office ko. Nalaman ko na lamang na nakuha niya iyon. And she blackmailed me by spreading the video."

"Siya ba ang binibigyan mo ng malaking pera? Lagi kong nakikita..."

"Yeah."

"Bakit hindi mo kinasuhan? You have the power to do that-"

"She's a breadwinner with their family. 10 siblings and everyone is attending school, no father, and her mother is in the hospital suffering an illness with almost a hundred thousand bills," walang preno niyang paliwanag.

Napalunok ako.

"Kaya hinayaan mo?"

"I-I just help her instead of filing a case. I know it was not a valid reason, but... I grew up without a mother."

My heartfelt warmth. What a soft-hearted man. I want to ask more.

"Oh right, let's say you helped her. Pero nakita ko kayong naghahalikan-"

"I pushed her in that scene Fiel. I was shocked too. At hindi ako ang ama ng pinagbubuntis niya. Why would I even touch her if I already have you at that time?" he seems frustratedly explaining. "We were already together at that time, Fiel."

"Paano niya nalaman na nandoon tayo sa lugar na iyon? Sinabi mo?" patuloy ko.

"Yes. I was supposed to confessed it to you. I know you're doubting me at that time. Pero hindi ko alam kung bakit siya bumaliktad. Hindi ganoon ang usapan namin."

That day I was about to confess too.

"Can we forget that scene now? I don't want to think that y-you slept with Elias that night rather than to go home and confront me."

Umangat ang ulo ko sa kaniya. And maybe this topic is not yet clear with us.

"I have hurt at that time Liam. We are both guilty of being together. For letting you be with me. All I want is to run, and that was accidentally found in Elias's house. Pinatuloy niya ako, pinatulog. He just helped me..."

Tumango siya na may ngiti sa labi at ipinagpatuloy ang paglagay ng pagkain sa pinggan ko. Nakamasid lamang ako sa kaniya.

"I don't mind it anymore, Fiel. At least you were safe," umayos siya sa upo niya at tiningnan ako.

"Go judge my cooking now," he chortled.

Our topic immediately shifted to the present. And as we continued eating, we conversed about our future plans after Mommy's therapy.

"You want us to buy a house here in New York? It's peaceful here to start," he suggested but I refused.

"Ayoko rito. Balik na lang tayo sa Pilipinas o kaya sa Casa. I want our country smell and air," I laughed. "Tsaka nandoon ang mga negosyo mo mas maganda kung hindi ka malayo."

"Alright, if that's what you want. Anything else?"

Saglit akong napahinto sa pagkain habang nag-iisip.

"Should we buy baby stuff now?" tanong niya.

Natawa ako. "Huwag mo na Liam. Ano ka ba. Kapag medyo lumaki na."

"What about planning his room?"

"His?" I frowned.

"Yes, I want a baby boy," aniya.

"I want a baby girl, Liam. And this is a girl," I confidently said as I smirked.

"Nope, lalaki 'yan-"

"Babae nga, eh!' angil ko at sinamaan siya ng tingin.

"Fine, fine, babae kung babae," natatawang aniya. "Ang init ng ulo ng buntis ko."

"Ikaw kasi eh..." sumimangot ako at yumoko.

"Sorry na, buntis... I just voiced what I wanted. But whatever the gender is, we will still accept it, okay?"

"Why are you always lowering your pride just for me? I just notice it every time we have a small argument..." I questioned.

Pakiramdam ko tuloy ang unfair kong partner siya lagi nag-a-adjust.

"Love. That one word could answer all your thoughts," he said and I immediately got what he meant.

One word but a million meanings.

I trailed off for a moment so I lowered my gaze and went back to eating my food.

"What about you? When will you admit that you have feelings for me?"

"I don't know the exact day, I just feel one day like my world crashed when I saw you kissing another girl," I laughed as he stood up and went to me.

He embraced me from behind and leaned his head on my shoulder as his hands directly touched my tummy.

"I'm so sorry about that. It won't happen again. You know I brush my teeth a hundred times even though I felt like my lips were bleeding," bulong niya.

"Hundred times? Sus palusot mo."

"It's true. That night I didn't find you. I asked Khian to help me bring Melissa in hospital 'cause he lost consciousness and when I was left alone, I do brush my teeth so hard."

"Tigilan mo ako, walang gagawa no'n kahit sino-"

"Well, I do..." he huskily whispered.

Dahan-dahan akong lumingon sa kaniya at dahil sa sobrang lapit ng mukha namin ay tumama ang labi ko sa pisngi niya.

"You want to kiss me?" he teased.

"Bumalik ka na sa upuan mo, Liam. Ang layo na nang napuntahan ng usapan."

"You started asking," he pointed out.

"Sige na bumalik ka na-" naudlot ang sinasabi ko nang magnakaw na naman siya ng halik sabay tayo at baik sa upuan niya.

Pumungay ang mga mata ng tingnan ko iyon.

"Nakaka-addict kang halikan, eh," pilyong sambit niya.

We went back to our food as he spoke. "How's Tita?'

"She's getting better now. And this morning I'm talking with Nelia about my pregnancy and that was exactly what Mommy told me that I should go back here so I can be comfortable."

Binitawan ko ang hawak na kubyertos at ibinigay ang atensyon sa kaniya.

"Do you think Mommy, heard us talking? Bigla kasing nag-iba ang timpla niya eh. Kaya nga ako nakauwi ngayon," pagtataka ko.

"I don't know. Tita is sometimes hard to understand. But no matter what the reason is, she's still a mother, and mothers want the best for their children," aniya.

Maybe Mommy just worried about me since Liam's father is the reason behind Daddy's death.

"And there's more, while I'm in the midst of my sleeping I always heard Mommy crying, and one time I caught her hugging the two small laminated pictures of baby,"

"Hm?"

He stopped knifing the meat as he gave all his attention to me. "What do you mean?"

"Sa tingin mo ba may kapatid pa ako? The baby seems to look alike yet the lip's shape is different. And also the name. I clearly saw the two names at the back of the picture. Fiona and Maria Elysse."

"Fiona Elysse? That's your name," aniya.

"Only Fiona was written in the other picture. And there's Maria Elysse? It's doubtful, right? Hindi kaya may kapatid ako?"

"Have you asked Tita about it?"

"Oo. Pero hindi naman niya ako sinagot. Ilang gabi kung inisip kung may kapatid ba ako. Pero imposible rin kasi mag-isa akong lumaki."

"Do you want to know? Khian could help us-"

"No, no. Kung mayroon man, gusto ko manggaling mismo kay Mommy," I smiled. "I'm just curious but I'm fine."

We still continued eating as I remember his brother. The incident happened to them and the day he got hospitalized.

"Anyway, you weren't enlightened about your half-brother. Mind sharing, what's the real justification?"

"Let's continued eating first." He put a slice of meat to me a small portion of rice. Hindi na ako nagprotesta pa kaya kinain ko na lang din.

"If you want something to eat, or you are craving, don't hesitate to request to me, okay? I'll cook every day for you," he assured me, so I felt lucky again.

"Hindi ka ba uuwi ng Pinas?"

"Nope, nandito ang asawa ko bakit ako uuwi?" he chortled.

My heart pumped so fast as I lowered my gaze. Every time he calls me asawa, I am so damn enthusiastic.

After a couple of hours of having a fancy set-up dinner with him, we stay at the balcony. Naligpit na rin namin ang pagkain at tanging inumin ang natira.

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa railing ng balkonahe at itinukod ang dalawang braso. Nilasap ko ang hangin na humahaplos sa mukha ko.

"Nag-enjoy ka ba? Nabusog? Or you want us to go out?"

"Hindi na. Sobrang busog na ako," sinabayan ko iyon ng tawa dahil ang dami-dami kong nakain na hindi ko namalayan dahil sa kwentuhan namin.

"Ang hilig mo mangyakap," puna ko nang umikot na naman ang braso niya sa baywang ko mula sa likuran.

"I can't stop it, you're irresistible," he chuckled and leaned his chin to my shoulder.

"What's on your mind? Mind sharing me?" bulong niya sa tainga ko kaya bigla akong nag-init dahil sa nakakakiliti niyang hininga.

"Wala naman. I just felt calm, peaceful, and content. But honestly, when I found out that I'm pregnant, I was hesitant if I could protect this child? Will I be good enough?" I sighed.

"We will protect our child, Fiel. At magiging mabuti tayong magulang..."

Dahan-dahan akong humarap sa kaniya at pinulupot payakap ang braso sa leeg niya.

"Thank you for having long long long patience with me, Liam. Mahal na mahal kita..."

Tumingkayad ako para halikan siya. Bigla siyang namula sa ginawa ko.

"I'm the person you used to hate because of what happened to us but now..." he said in a lucky tone.

"The more you hate, the more you love. So I'm guilty," I giggled as the rain surprisingly poured. "Umuulan na. Let's shower under the rain?" I sound so childish but I really want to.

"You will get sick, let's go inside-"

"Please? Ngayon lang ako nakatikim ng ulan.

"Magkakasakit ka Fiel."

"Hindi iyan, ang galing mo kaya mag alaga," pambobola ko. "Baby, please?"

He closed his eyes as he breathed heavily.

"Basa na tayo oh? Kailangan na natin maligo- Ahh!" I yelled.

"Edi sabay tayong maliligo," aniya at mabilis akong binuhat papasok sa loob.

"Sa ulan tayo maliligo hindi sa banyo!" angil ko ngunit malakas lamang siyang humahalakhak.

"Sa ulan Liam!"

"Unang bagsak ng ulan kaya hindi puwede. Ako na lang magpapaligo sa'yo," puno ng senseridad niyang sinabi hanggang sa makapasok kami sa banyo.

Nang ibaba niya ako hindi rin ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na makapagsalita dahil agad niyang sinunggaban ng halik ang labi ko sa mapusok na paraan.

Gosh! He really knows how to tame me!