Chase

NAHIHILO ako at halos hindi na alam kung saan tutungo. Pasuray-suray akong naglakad at pumasok sa isang madilim na kwarto, pilit kong idinudilat ang mga mata kahit na umiikot ang paningin.

Gusto kong mawala, gusto kong maglaho kahit saglit. Gusto kong kalimutan ang lahat!

Ayoko kong umuwi… ayoko kay mommy, she would do everything to make me accept what she wants. She wants me to marry an old man for our company. Handa niyang gawin ang lahat para sa kumpanya kahit ako ang kapalit.

Sunod-sunod na bumuhos ang luha mula sa mga mata ko dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman. Patuloy na bumabagsak ang luha ko at hindi ko namalayan na nakapasok na ako sa loob ng kwarto. 

Madilim, mabango at ang lamig na nanunuot sa balat ko. Hindi ko alam pero naglakad pa ako papasok hanggang sa namalayan ko na lang na nakahiga na ako sa malambot na kama.

Pumikit ako dahil sa sumasakit na ang ulo ko hanggang sa tuluyang napahikbi. Paano ako nagagawang ipagkanulo ni mommy sa ibang tao! I'm still young yet she was already planning to settle me in an arranged marriage. 

Marami pa akong pangarap sa buhay, sa sarili ko, pero bakit si mommy pa mismo ang pumuputol no'n? Simula ng mawala si Daddy at ang Ate dahil sa aksidente hindi ko na naramdaman ang presensya niya at pag-aalaga.

Ang mahinang hikbi ko ay naging hagulgol. "Please save me…" I don't want to settle for someone whom I don't know. I don't want to settle yet, especially the old man.

I was crying so hard until I heard someone clearing his throat.

"How can I help you?"

Hindi ko alam kung nahihibang na ako o guni,-guni lang pero natawa ako dahil sa kalmado at baritono na boses ang narinig ko.

Napailing ako kahit na puno ng luha ang mga mata. "I hope there is someone willing to save me, to save my life…"

"Tell me, how can I save you?"

Hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko pero mabilis na tumambol ang puso ko ng muling marinig ang boses ng lalaki at parang may kakaiba akong naramdaman.

"A—Are you real? I'm not hallucinating right?"I tried to widen my eyes but it's still dark inside the room.

"No, I'm real. So mind telling me how I can help you? You keep on murmuring it…"

"H—How old are you?"

He coughs. "Why? I'm 23,"

"Marry m-me please?

"What?!"

"That's the only way…" it's way better than marrying an old man. "I'm still 17 but when I turn at my legal age, find me, look for me… if you want to save me…"

"What are we talking about? You're too young for that… and you're drunk. You'll forget this talk tomorrow."

"No, no. I'm not… I'm Serna Hannielyn Yanson, call me Shan for short… s-save me please, whoever you are…"

He suddenly laughed. "You'll forget this moment when you get over the influence of alcohol…"

"No, I promise. I'll marry you. What's your name?" halos pabulong na tanong ko.

"You don't need to know, Serna…" he sighed. "What are you doing in this room?"

I frowned. "I—I don't know…"

He sighed. "Come on, get up! I'll bring you home—"

"I don't want to go home… What is your name?"

Ramdam ko na rin ang pagpikit ng talukap ng mga mata ko. Inaantok na ako at gusto ng magpahinga, pero gusto kong malaman ang pangalan ng tao na kasama ko ngayon… I wanna know him… I don't feel and frightened to him instead I felt like I'm safe with him.

"N—Name please? I'm sleepy…"

Naramdam ko ang pagsampa niya sa kamang kinaroroonan ko. He slowly caressed my face. 

"You're drunk, baby girl…" he whispered. 

My body suddenly reacted and I felt something inside of me. It's like there's a butterfly on my stomach.

I bit my lower lips as I utter. "Your name please?" I pleaded lowly.

I heard him sighed heavily as my senses slowly smitten by darkness until I heard him responding. "I'm Axel..."

That's the words I heard before darkness finally pulled my senses.

Axel…

Axel…

Axel...

"AXEL!" 

NAPABALIKWAS ako ng bangon dahil sa pangalan na nag paulit-ulit sa panaginip ko. Panaginip na parang totoo. 

Pumikit ako at pilit inaalala ang lahat, panaginip, panaginip, promises to… Axel!

Napahilamos ako sa sariling mukha at mariing pumikit. Darkness. Room. I'm a bit drunk. I talked to a stranger and… I begged!

"Oh my goodness! It's real!" I exclaimed as I widely opened my eyes. 

I remembered now, when I was 17 I made a promise to someone… whose name is Axel…

"You finally, remember me…" 

My eyes widened in shock when I heard a familiar voice echoed inside the room. The room is dark and the only thing I could see is the familiar blue eyes coming from someone whom I know…

"A—Alex?" I stammered.

"You remember me now," I could feel the mixture of joy and longing in his tone. 

"What do you mean?"

"Baby…" 

"Alex, what are you doing here?"

"You remember me now… I heard you call the name Axel."

"Axel…"

"Yes, it's me. Alexander Eldrich Humilton, the person whom you ask to marry that night, the one you were begging for help..."

My tears burst out hearing his sincere voice. Everything he told is damn true and it really happened to us.

"Baby…"

"Open the light—"

"No, it's better off. So you can remember me fully on how you wanted me to marry you in the past few years…"

"I remember now, Alex, but I'm still young at that time—"

"Kaya nga naghintay ako, Serna… I've waited for you to grow up, cuz you said you're willing to marry me. I've been waiting for you for so long until you remember me but you forgot it." He said. 

"Until years passed the news kept on spreading that you're dating a lot of boys…" he added.

"Stop…"

"I felt hurt at that time, I was always secretly fleeing to the US just to see you, but I always caught you with someone and that turns me to…"

"To?"

"To date a lot of girls, just to forget you. They called me a womanizer since they thought I could change a girl in just a day. But no, I just did that, I made everyone believe that I'm that kind of person just to hide the pain I'd kept inside of me…" he said as he breathed out heavily. 

Mabilis akong napaayos ng upo at pilit siyang inaanig sa dilim.

"It's true your womanizer! I heard you in the side sea with the girl begging you, and Melissa told me—"

"It's up to you if you believe it or not. But I'm just making them believe in who I am. I always said I don't stick and settle in with them, but the truth is I want to settle with you… I want you only, I only want to settle who is named Serna…" 

"Pero marami ka pa ring nasaktan at pinaglaruan."

He suddenly chuckled. "I don't play with girls' hearts. Yes I dated them and still respect them. So at the end of the day I'll still cut the connection between us."

"Gago ka pala eh! Bakit mo pa dini-date kung puputulin mo na lang din—"

"Kasi hindi ko makita sa kanila 'yong bagay na hinahanap ko sa'yo! I tried to date anyone just to forget you, pero wala eh. Sa'yo at sa'yo pa rin ako babalik…"

My eyes slowly water while listening to him. Humahagilap ako ng butas kung may pagsisinungaling sa tono niya pero wala.

"Nagsisinungaling ka lang…"

He sighed. "I'm just only to hook up with them and have small talk, and sometimes I reject those girls who want to meet up with me..."

"Totoo?"

I heard his footsteps walking towards me. 

"Promise, I've been loyal to you since then—"

"Sinungaling ka pa rin! Imposible! You bedded a lot of girls!"

"No, it's not true."

"Hindi ka makakatiis, Alex."

"I just bedded a girl before, and after we'd talked I stopped already…" mahinang sinabi niya.

Napabuntong hininga ako at napalabi. Para akong nakaramdaman ng konsensya dahil sa mga ginawa ko sa kaniya. 

"Pero hindi ka ba napapagod sa akin? I kept on pushing you away. I kept on breaking up with you…"

He chuckled as he finally sat down beside me. "Kahit anong taboy mo sa akin, hahanap-hanapin pa rin kita, Serna."

"A—Alex… I don't deserve you, I'd play with your feelings." I stuttered and my fresh tears burst again.

He sighed. "I don't deserve you, either… you want to know why?"

I frowned. "Bakit?"

"I made my name as a womanizer since I heard the news that you're getting married to someone. And like what I said, It pains me deep inside 'cause I believe that you do remember me after that night… you do propose to me." He said. 

"Open the light please, I want to see you." 

He chuckled. "Later, it's comfortable to confess in the darkness."

Naramdaman ko na lang ang paghawak niya sa kamay ko at bahagya pa itong pinisil-pisil, kaya na tahimik ako. Parang gusto ko na lang ng ganito.

"You wanna know my story, why am I so in love with you?"

I felt my face heated but remained calm. "Go on, I wanna hear you. So I could think properly if I should break up with you again."

His eyes darted on me narrowed. "Stop saying that, Serna. Hindi naman tayo naghiwalay. And do you think I'll let you break up with me? Hell no! I didn't chase you for nothing." Punong-punong senseridad na aniya.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang mangiti. Buti na lang naka-off ang ilaw kaya hindi niya nakikita ang mukha ko. 

Kusang lumapit ang katawan ko sa kaniya. Inangat ko ang kaliwang braso niya at inakbay iyon sa balikat ko bago yumakap sa baywang niya. "Tell me your story then."

Palihim kong inamoy ang dibdib niya palipat sa kili-kili. Humaba ang nguso ko dahil naamoy kong mabango pa rin iyon. Tumaas ang kamay ko at humawak sa kili-kiling mabuhok. 

"Serna…"

Nahimigan ko ang panlalambot sa boses niya kaya tinutuloy-tuloy ko ang paghaplos doon. 

"Of fuck it, s-stop tickling me…"

I laughed. "Hindi. Inaamoy ko lang…" napaayos ako ng upo at niyakap na lang ulot siya ng maayos. "Sige na magkwrnto kana."

He chuckled. "You miss me that much huh?" he teased. 

"Hindi ah, ang lamig lang." I pouted.

"In-denial…" he murmured.

Napairap ako sa kawalan ang sinundot-sundot ang tagiliran niya na gad niya namang nahawakan ang kamay ko. 

Hindi ko alam anong nangyayari sa akin pero parang gusto siyang paglaruan at pang-gigilan. "Kwento na, dali!"

He chortled. "So go back to the topic years ago when you proposed to me…"

Muling nag-init ang mukha ko dahil sa sinabi niya. 

"I was also shocked that night 'cause you're drunk, but you kept on pursuing me until I said yes. You even said, when you turned at the legal age I should've been the one who proposed to you… who would even say no to you? You're almost perfect in my eyes. You don't know but I've dreamed of you since childhood. So how can I say no to my ultimate crush way back then?"

"Huh? Paano? I don't know you..."

"I've been friends with your sister since childhood."

"Huh? Ang bata ko pa siguro no'n,"

He smiled. "Yes, you're still young. So I secretly guarded you whenever you went to school during your elementary and high school. Hindi mo ako nakilala kasi hindi ka naman namamansin. You always choose to be alone and you didn't notice that I always went to your house."

"I felt jealous of Ate. She's excellent in everything. She's almost perfect unlike me…"

Alex gently caressed my face. "Don't say that, your Ate is very proud of you, and me too."

"Before the accident happened about your father and your sister, she confessed her feelings to me. But I told her the truth that I was in love with you and I'm just waiting for you to grow up. And you know what she said?"

Nangulid ang luha ko. "Ano?"

"Alagaan daw kita at ingatan paglaki mo."

Tuluyan ng bumuhos ang luha sa mga mata ko. Ate...

"After the accidents happened, you and your mother migrated to the US and that is where I often see you. I thought my young feelings would be gone, but I'm wrong." 

"Totoo? Matagal mo na akong kilala?"

"Yes. At namalayanan ko na lang ang sarili kong inaayos ang passport to go to the US. And accidently, I saw you at the bar, wasted. I followed you wherever you went until that night happened. For the first time. We'd talk and make a promise…"

"Alex…"

"Our story is impossible, but maybe, we are really destined for each other…"

"Niloloko mo lang ako eh. Ayaw mo lang mag break tayo…" ngumuso ako at para akong bumalik sa pagka-teenager. 

Natural bang kiligin sa mokong na 'to? I uttered myself.

He suddenly laughed. "I'm true to my words from the very beginning, Serna. I've waited for this and I won't be tired of chasing you over and over again."