This is a new chapter of Attraction

I heard my aunt yell for Jessica to open the door. Ten seconds later, my cousin had flung herself on me, almost toppling me over in the stairwell.

"Joachim, du är tillbaka." She hugged me tight. "Mamma! Dom är här nu."

"Hey, it's good to see you, and yes, I'm back. Why don't you practice your English while Tom is here?"

She blushed, stepping back. "Hello," she greeted him, studying him under her lashes as if she wasn't sure how to proceed.

"Hi." Tom extended his hand, grasping hers.

"It's nice to meet you," she said. "Joachim has told us about you. We're sad you didn't get married in Sweden. You should have a second wedding."

I laughed. "All right, that's enough. Where are the others?"

Helena stepped out from the kitchen, drying her hands on a linen towel. "This dinner won't make itself, you know." She moved to hug me. "Welcome back. We've missed you."

"I've missed you, too."

"Är dom här redan?" Sandra shouldered her way past her sister. "Joachim!" Her hug was even tighter.

"Yes, we're already here. The trains aren't always late in winter."

Sandra peeked at Tom. "Hi, I'm Sandra."

"Tom. Pleasured to meet you."

I waved my cousin away. "Let him say hi to your mom as well."

"Oh, okay." She didn't blush as easily as her sister, but it was a close thing for once. They all appeared slightly nervous and excited.

"Ms Lind, thank you for inviting us." Tom finally had the opportunity to shake hands with Helena.

"Please call me Helena, we're not very polite here in Sweden. We all go by first names."

"Ah, yes, Joah told me." Tom was as calm as ever.

Helena smiled. "It's lovely to meet you. Joachim speaks highly of you."

"Aww, he calls you Joah, that's so sweet," Sandra said, even more excited than before.

"Let them get inside, Sandra," Helena said, gently tugging her daughter's jumper.

"Fine, okay. I'm going." She slipped back into the apartment. "I'll make the table. Come on, Jessi, help me out."

The apartment looked exactly as it had done when I'd moved out. Most of the furniture had been bought over twenty years ago, but Helena had somehow managed to make it look modern with little touches of good taste here and there. I slipped out of my shoes, nodding for Tom to do the same.

"Do you need help in the kitchen, Helena?" I asked.

"No, it's soon finished. I just have to get it out of the oven. Why don't you show Tom around?"

I clasped Tom's hand. "Do you want to see my old room?"

The moment he gave me a nod, I stole him away, going straight for the tiny room I'd lived in as a teenager. The apartment wasn't big, but Helena had somehow managed to install another wall and made two smaller rooms out of the former main bedroom. It wasn't terribly uncommon in Stockholm where apartments were scarce.

I had expected to see change, but the room still looked exactly the same as I'd left it. Well, there was a new laptop on the desk, probably belonging to one of my cousins, but my old posters still clung to the walls.

"I lived here until I was about nineteen. Then I basically slept on couches for the next four years." It had been a strange decision to move around the city to live with friends, but I'd needed to get away somehow.

I squeezed Tom's hand. "I kept searching for something until you came around."

Tom ran his thumb along my jawline, leaning in for a kiss. But he didn't get that far.

"Dinner is ready," Sandra called out, opening the door to the small room.

I chuckled. "See what I mean, no privacy."

Sandra rolled her eyes, very much still a teenager. "Oh, come on. You can't be in here all evening. We want to talk to you. You've been gone for ages."

"She's the chatterbox, so don't worry if you can't get a word in," I told Tom, ending with a grin reserved for my cousin.

The dinner went on for hours, as usual. Helena brought more and more wine to the table, and the sisters demanded a rematch of Settlers of Catan. So, we ended up playing games and talked for most of the evening. In some ways, it felt like I'd never been away. In other ways, it was completely different. Helena smiled more, and they all set out to question Tom about absolutely everything. It was a cross-examination, but he didn't seem to mind.

"More wine?" Helena asked.

Tom shook his head, "Thank you, but I think I've had enough. I'm not letting you addle my senses if we're playing another round." Tom had lost quite epically the first time.

"Actually, I think we might be going," I said. "We have another place to visit tonight."

"You're going there, now?" Helena asked. "It's late."

"I like it at night."

She offered me a brief smile, slightly loop-sided from the alcohol. "I remember."

"But you can't leave. I thought you were staying here," Sandra said, nudging Jessica to agree.

"In that tiny bed in there?" I waved in the general direction of my old bedroom. "No, we're staying at a hotel this week. But you'll get plenty of chances to beat Tom at Settlers, so don't worry."

"Fine. But say hi to them from me, all right?"

"I will."

* * * *

The air was biting cold, and glittering crystals balanced between falling and floating beneath the streetlights. I realized, to my surprise, that I had missed this.

A mist of vapor rose from Tom's lips. "It's quiet."

"Yes, I like it here. I wonder if that's strange."

Flickering flames from countless candles littered the cemetery beneath tall pines.

"It's peaceful."

"It is."

"And it's chilly."

"Freezing you mean." I huddled in my poor excuse for a jacket. I'd been too distracted to choose the right one from our luggage.

"I've never been in Sweden during winter before," Tom said, pulling me closer to his solid frame. I always reacted the same way, melting into him like there was no other place I'd rather be. It was one of those simple touches that we'd grown accustomed to faster than I ever thought possible.

We'd had almost six months to settle into a comfortable coexistence. In fact, I couldn't remember any other time that I'd felt so fully content. Our relationship that had been fragile at first, felt like the one solid thing in my life. Perhaps it was just an idea, but I kind of liked it. Besides, he was stuck with me.

The ring on my finger gleamed faintly. "I should have brought gloves," I commented, although that had been the last thing on my mind.

Tom kissed my forehead in that way that made me feel like the most treasured person in the world. It was a bit silly how much it affected me, but I'd stopped questioning my reactions long ago. They came regardless of what I thought was appropriate or not.

"Shall we go to them?"

"Yes," I replied, taking his hand and leading him down the gravel walkway. I knew the route by heart, having visited this place too many times to count. I'd gone here every time I'd needed someone to listen. I'd had too many friends who hadn't been able to stand seeing me unhappy, and even with all those therapy talks during my young teenage years, I'd never truly opened up to anyone.

The polished stone looked the same as it always did, seemingly alone in the dark. I placed the candle in front and set the wick on fire, breathing slowly while I read the golden text.

I stood, trying to wade through the grief. "Mom, Dad, Elsa, I want you to meet Tom, my husband." A trickle of tears slowly made its way down my cheek. This was harder than I'd anticipated. "I love him. I think you would have loved him too."

Tom wrapped his arms around me, holding me steady when I failed. "How do you pronounce their names?"

"Malin and Mattias. My parents." Sobs wracked my body, over and over again. Tears for everything they had missed. Tears for all the times I'd longed for them to be alive. Tom's jacket dampened beneath my cheek. "I'm sorry. I'm making a mess."

"It's okay to cry."

Perhaps he understood those words were the ones I'd wanted to hear for a long time. For someone to simply say that it was okay to show how deeply this still affected me. "Thank you."

"Do you want to tell me about them?"

I wiped my runny nose and focused on him rather than the cold stone. "Mom was a dentist. Dad was an actor."

Tom stilled. "You've never told me that."

A low chuckle left me. "I've not told you much of anything."

"I know. I'm just surprised. I guess it explains why you've been to all those auditions."

"I'm not sure that's true. Maybe. I remember practicing with him at home. I used to read the lines in between his." I heard echoes of his voice. Lines that I should have forgotten long ago but still recalled. "Then there was the time when I recklessly suggested that I could do a part in the next play. As it so happened, they needed a child for one scene, and Dad somehow convinced the others that I would be perfect." I smiled to myself. "It was grueling. Late nights for several weeks in the middle of term. Mom was furious."

The gravel crunched beneath our feet as Tom shifted, hugging me closer to escape the cold.

"I can imagine she wasn't pleased. Although I doubt that was your last time in the spotlight."

"I didn't act for years after they died. I was nineteen when I made a second attempt."

"Well, you have your papers now. You can work with whatever you want. You can go to an audition and actually audition."

I chuckled again. "I guess you're right. It is getting a bit awkward." I'd been to a few more auditions where I'd just sat at the back and watched. One of those times, I'd run into Dave again, and he'd actually been quite normal.

"But Mom was never angry for long. She loved my dad. I remember that she could sit and gaze at him during dinner, smiling to herself when he went on one of his rants about the theater. She took care of all of us, making sure we all felt loved. I mean, when she didn't force us to floss and all that."

I chuckled at another memory. "Elsa hated brushing her teeth. I think it was a good thing Mom was a dentist. Not that it matters now."

Tom kissed my forehead, not saying a word while I paused to catch myself.

"She was only nine. Her whole life in front of her. Gosh, I loved her so much. Even when she woke me up in the middle of the night to steal a spot in my bed. I have these memories of her, and she seems so alive. Always smiling or singing. She sang all the time."

I snuggled closer, desperate to feel grateful for what I had and not only sad for what I had lost. "You would have liked her."

"I'm sure I would," he said, without a sliver of hesitation. "I can tell you loved them very much."

"I did. I thought I'd never feel that kind of love again."

Tom didn't say a word, but the kiss somehow spoke for both of us.

We stood there in silence until Tom shifted again, obviously cold but too stoic to say something about it.

"It's pretty cold out here, if you haven't noticed," I said, cuddling closer to find a sliver of heat.

"I thought you wanted to stay, maybe."

"I'll tell you more about them another time when I'm not freezing to death."

"Fair enough."

* * * *

The stars twinkled in the sky above, dotting the dark canvas above a city that I'd left to start a new life. I'd taken him to one of my favorite spots that overlooked the water and the old town.

I clasped the railing, breathing in the scents of winter.

"Are you sure you're not missing this?" Tom asked. "It's stunning."

Almost every window was alight with the soft yellow glow of the Swedish take on Christmas decorations. It resembled a seven armed Jewish candelabra, but it was usually electrified.

"I miss it sometimes, but I have no desire to come back. Not without you at least."

"Who knows? I like this country."

"But you have family back in the US."

"And you have family here," he countered. "They seem really nice and relaxed."

"True. But you're my family as well."

Tom smiled. "You know, this place would have been a pretty good place for popping the question." He said it casually, gazing out across the water and the city beyond.

My heart sped up while I searched his face for the true meaning of those words. I wasn't sure I dared to ask the question that twisted at the tip of my tongue. It desperately wanted to get out, but was it worth the risk? I wasn't sure.

It was as if he knew exactly what went on in my head. His gaze shifted until his focus was solely on me. Unwavering. "If I'd had the chance to get to know you like this. Without the marriage. Just you and me taking our time. I would have asked eventually."

The world seemed to tilt on its axis. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Whispered, "You're not supposed to say romantic stuff like that." My knees were fucking weak. This day had been nothing but emotional. I was close to tears again. Happy tears this time.

"I know. It's a secret between you and me. The others can never know." The warmth and humor in his voice did nothing to slow my thumping pulse.

"Okay, I won't ever tell them." I threw my arms around his neck and felt like climbing him like a tree. He read my mind again, grasping my thighs to let me cross my legs behind his back. I had him locked in a fierce embrace as I kissed him with all I had. I wanted to give him absolutely everything, even the things I couldn't promise. I wanted to give him happiness for the rest of our lives, endless love and affection.

I broke the kiss for one thing alone. Inching back, I fixed him with my gaze. "I would have said yes."

"Good. That's settled then."

"Definitely."

We kissed again, pressed up against each other like none of us wanted to let go. And I could only hope that the feeling would last for a long while ahead. Till death do us part, and all that.

THE END

A/N I'm not entirely sure you were ready for this, but I'm not sure if that's because you read the previous version or not. I'm going to give you a chance to detail what you're missing. Hit me with it, and be as specific as you can. Also, please mention if you've read the previous version of this novel <3

Thank you so much for your lovely and continued support. It means a lot to me.

I also want to say that I'm currently not updating any other stories on this account (although I hope I will soon), partly because I'm busy writing under pseudonym in a co-writing project. If you're super curious, you can try to send me a message and I might give you the link :)

All my love, Avy