[ TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT]

DELILAH STAYED FOCUSED ON THE ROAD AS HER HANDS TIGHTENED AROUND THE STEERING WHEEL. Arthur and John were collapsed against the Fiat seats, their laughter echoing through the countryside. Delilah glanced at the two over her shoulder, her own lips parting in an amused smile before Thomas's hand grabbed the steering wheel and rectified their trajectory.

"Maybe you should just focus on the road," he suggested as Delilah rolled her eyes with a playful grin.

"I'm surprised you let me drive in the first place," the redhead replied.

"I'm already regretting it."

"You don't mean that," Delilah stated as she shook her head.

Thomas scoffed as the redhead pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, checking that no one was coming toward them at an intersection and she turned around the corner, already able to see the high buildings composing Birmingham's landscape.

Their holiday had been memorable and Delilah couldn't remember a weekend as good as theirs. She had never heard a story similar and she hoped she would never — it was a good moment, but it would certainly have consequences.

As the car stopped in front of the redhead's house, John stirred and flattened his hands around Delilah's shoulders forcefully, forcing her to face him.

"Let's do this again," he slurred, which brought a laugh through the woman's throat.

"No, Johnny, we're not," she responded with a soft smile. "But it was fun!"

The colours of a new day slowly painted the sky in a pink, orange and yellow palette all mixed together, the promise of a sunny day Delilah would probably not see. As she made her way out of the car, Arthur lifted his head from the ground he had been staring at for at least five minutes, outstretching his giant palm towards her.

"You're leaving already, Sunflower?" he slurred. "You're not very funny, Della."

The redhead chuckled as Thomas slid into the driver seat. She didn't say a word while she moved to the front door, waving at the three brothers until the Fiat disappeared from her view. Delilah stepped into her home, enjoying the silence as she closed the door behind her. Angelo appeared in the kitchen, his tired features only witnesses of the hard night he had struggled with. Too exhausted to even notice, Delilah sighed and kicked off her heels. She threw her coat on the couch, promising herself she would put it in her closet when she'd wake up.

"Good morning," Angelo spoke, trying to catch his sister's attention.

"Goodnight," Delilah responded with a wave as she made her way slowly at the top of the stairs.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ 

When Delilah De Luca opened her eyes, the night was falling outside the window. Her green pupils adjusted to the sudden light in a few seconds until the redhead was up on her feet, her hand running through her tangled tresses. By the colours painting the sky, the woman knew she had missed the only beautiful day of the week, and she felt bad for it. She could've spent the day with her brother, but she had slept through the whole day instead.

Delilah walked through the staircase, an uneasy feeling settling in her guts as she noticed the silence filling the house. As soon as she stepped in the living room, her brows creased at the emptiness before her. Angelo was nowhere to be found, and if there was something she'd learned the hard way about her older brother, it was that he would never leave the house if he wasn't sure she'd be awake. It was a habit he had taken when they'd moved to Birmingham, never going out if his sister wasn't either by his side or waiting for him in their home, just in case something would happen to her. Slowly, Delilah had taken upon herself to reciprocate the action as she went out to the Garrison less and less if her brother wasn't escorting her unless he was with the Shelby brothers — or if she was.

The redhead rushed to the kitchen, searching for a note or anything her brother could've left behind so she wouldn't assume the worst. But for the first time, Angelo hadn't left a clue behind himself.

Panic took over reason. Delilah swung a dark coat around her shoulders, assuming it would be best if she didn't run around Small Heath only dressed in a nightgown, and as soon as she had slid her feet into a pair of shoes, she was out.

Running in heels was a task Delilah had never been particularly good at but this time she didn't trip until she reached the Shelby's front door, barely knocking before she stepped into the filled kitchen. Polly lifted her gaze upon the redhead's troubled face, instantly put on edge by her empty emerald pupils. The three older brothers gathered around her, curiously staring at her face.

"Have you seen Angelo?" she asked in such an agonizing tone the four Shelbys felt their hearts clench.

"No," Arthur responded, outstretching his hand to rest it on his friend's soft shoulder.

"What's going on?" John then demanded, joining her side and letting his fingers brush her cheek comfortingly.

Delilah's eyes widened as tears gathered around these pained green orbs of hers. Thomas took a careful step forward, trying to remain calm in front of his colleague's upcoming breakdown.

"He's gone," she whispered, raising her hand to her chest in an attempt to comfort herself. "And I know what you're about to say, but he wouldn't leave without waking me up or leaving something behind so I wouldn't be worried sick. I'm scared."

For the first time since the Shelby family had met her, Delilah was showing herself vulnerable in front of them. And rightfully, if you'd ask them. After all, they'd learned to know both siblings, especially John who was the closest to the two, and they all understood that Angelo was protective towards his sister, and wouldn't leave her alone in their house just in case someone would break in to kill her — now that they were feared all around Birmingham and provoking London, they were making a lot of enemies.

"Did you see him this morning?" Polly asked, standing up from her seat and pushing her nephews away from the redhead to wrap her arm around her shoulders.

"Yes," Delilah answered with a sob, burying her face in her hands. "I told him goodnight and I went directly to bed. What if someone took him away?"

Thomas glanced at his brothers around the kitchen, the three of them silently agreeing to help her find Angelo. Delilah sniffled one last time before she was looking at all of them, face emotionless and cold. It scared them to see her that way, so broken and scared she felt the need to hide her feelings away.

"I'm going to look through Birmingham," she announced, turning around slightly to stare at the street through the kitchen window. "He could've left at any hour, and who knows where he could be at the moment."

Thomas nodded, clearing his throat.

"We're going to come with you," he said with a nod. "John and Arthur go one way, and you and me the other."

Delilah nodded as Polly squeezed her shoulder slightly, deciding to stay at home to look after Finn. The redhead exited the house, followed by her three friends, and they parted ways as soon as they stepped into the street, quickly explaining where they were going and where to meet in case they'd find Angelo.

Delilah walked quickly through the streets, asking every person they happened to run into if they hadn't seen Angelo. Every time she asked, she only obtained a negative answer. Thomas sighed when the night fell above their heads, dark clouds gathering in the firmament in a bad omen only a Gypsy could believe in.

"I can't believe it," Delilah frustratingly snapped, placing her hands on her hips as they stopped by the meeting point.

"Maybe he went back to London," Thomas suggested, earning himself a glare from the redhead.

"There's nothing for him there," she responded as fast footsteps echoed through the empty street.

"Della!" John screamed, not coming near the duo as he motioned for them to follow after him.

Delilah shared a glance with Thomas before she was running as quickly as she could manage with her heels, her breath hitching in her throat. They didn't come to a stop until they reached the bridge connecting the two shores of the Cut. The river was running down fastly, the flow scaring her as it seemed to drag everything that'd come through its path.

"Where is he?" she demanded, her voice coming out tense and anxious.

John pointed at the edge of the bridge where Angelo's tall frame was standing proudly. Delilah rushed to the bridge, heels painfully clicking on the pavement as Thomas and John sided her. Arthur was standing close to her brother, his hand outstretched in his direction.

"Angelo!"

The male turned his head towards his sister, his face contorting in agony when his light eyes scanned her face. He turned around unsteadily, his feet remaining on the edge firmly.

"What are you doing, fratello?" she asked in a soft tone, taking a careful step forward.

"I'm so sorry," he whimpered, losing his balance slightly before catching himself. "I can't do this."

Delilah sucked in a panicked breath, feeling Tommy place a hand in the small of her back in case she'd break into a sprint.

"You don't have to do this, okay?" Delilah assured, taking another step in Angelo's direction. "We can find a solution, you know it, right? We can work it out. I'm here for you, okay?'

"No, that's the thing!" Angelo screamed, tears rolling down his cheeks. "You're never here anymore! And you know what? I get it, okay? I get it! You've made friends here, you've got a business to run, and you've got priorities that don't always involve me. And it's okay, your world doesn't spin around me, sorella. I thought I'd find something to keep myself afloat, but I can't. You're my anchor, and I don't want to be that burden for you anymore."

Rivers were falling down Delilah's emerald eyes as she found herself siding Arthur, who wrapped an arm around her for protection. Her red hair flew around her face wildly as the wind blew around them, scaring the hell out of her. What if Angelo lost his balance because of a gust?

"I know I neglected you these days, and I'm sorry," she softly apologized. "But I'm your sister, I'm nothing without you, Angelo. I need you, you're my soulmate, okay? Get down and we'll find a solution for everything. It's gonna be alright, Angelo, believe me."

Angelo's lips parted in a smile as he crouched down on the edge, motioning for her to approach. Delilah sighed in relief and just as she took a step forward, her older brother was jerking his body backwards and falling in the water underneath.

A high-pitched scream left Delilah's parted lips as arms tried to engulf her in tight embraces. However, due to the shock of seeing their friend jumping off a bridge, the redhead managed to run to the edge of the bridge, gracefully jumping on the edge and in a second, her body was cutting through the water like a knife, the coldness of the river freezing her whole body.

"Lilah!"

She couldn't say when Thomas's shout had left his mouth, but she heard it before her body disappeared underwater. She didn't believe someone could actually die from falling in the Cut, however the way the violent water stream crushed her body and sent it in every direction made her reconsider her point of view. Delilah's hand tried to break to the surface, but her body was so brewed by the river she couldn't remember where the surface actually was. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her lungs constricted by serious lack of oxygen, the two reactions of her body bringing panic through her brain.

She felt the flow drag her body more and more into the river depths, and she felt like she couldn't stay underwater anymore. Trying her best to kick her legs towards the ground, she opened her eyes, the moonlight slightly helping her to find her way back to the free air.

Once she felt her head breaking the waters, her mouth opened wide and she sucked in a large gulp of air, vision fogged by droplets of dark water clinging to her eyelashes. Delilah moved her head in every direction, desperately seeking for the Shelbys or her brother somewhere on the shore. Meanwhile trying to reach the shore while the Cut brought her further away from the bridge.

Delilah fought the stream as forcefully as she could until she heard a cough in the distance, echoing her own struggles to breathe properly. She looked towards where the sound was coming from, spotting her brother being helped on the shore by three panicked brothers, one of them already focusing his attention on her.

As soon as she neared their space on the shore, Delilah outstretched her arms for the Shelby brothers to grab her, and a pair of strong arms successfully brought her back on Earth, her body shaking as soon as the wind hit her tiny frame. Her teeth chattered as she leaned in the warm body behind her, her nightgown stained with the mud covering the humid shore.

Someone wiped her face from the damp hair sticking to her lips and eyes as Delilah's hand reached for her brother's, who was coughing his lungs out on the ground, her ears slowly identifying the different voices filling the air around her.

John and Arthur were scolding Angelo loudly, both of them slapping his cold and wet cheeks softly to keep him conscious in case he would slide back into unconsciousness and drown himself in the water coming out of his throat. Thomas was whispering soothing words into her ear as she'd often seen him do a horse, his raspy voice successfully calming her nerves as well as Angelo's hand curling around her own.

When Angelo found enough strength in his body to sit up, he lunged himself at his sister, arms wrapping around her shoulders, almost punching Tommy's face in the process. It seemed like Thomas wouldn't move from where his arms were circled around Delilah's waist, her tiny body resting between his spread legs, so he simply rested his chin on Angelo's shoulder.

"Why did you fuckin' jump, Della?" Angelo whimpered, his voice hoarse from the water he had swallowed.

Delilah sobbed between Tommy's chest and her brother's shoulder, where her forehead was pressed. The reality of what had just happened blowing up in her face rapidly, and suddenly she was overwhelmed with everything they had just done, what they'd put their friends through and what it truly meant.

"I just can't live without you, Angelo," she whispered, sobbing loudly as her fist curled around her brother's damp shirt. "I'm so sorry."

John's arm wrapped around Tommy's ones as Arthur towered around them, hugging whatever he could of the two siblings. Thomas's steady breath brought her back on Earth as Arthur dropped a kiss on the top of her wet hair.

It felt right, at that moment. Everything felt right, like their hearts were falling into place and letting each other hold a part in each other's soul. It felt like a family admitting they were scared for each other, caring about one another and loving all of them dearly, without showing it on a daily basis. Delilah was slightly scared that they needed a suicide attempt to feel that vulnerable around each other, but the simple fact that around all these people she felt complete meant something strong.

She didn't move an inch when Tommy's right arm left her waist to wrap around her brother's broad shoulder, the left one firmly remaining into place, however. John kissed her cheek hardly, lingering for a few seconds as Arthur crouched behind Angelo, comfortingly resting his cheek on his friend's back.

For the first time, no one was scared to come out as vulnerable in front of each other. For the first time, Delilah didn't feel like she had to hide her feelings, to hide her tears and fears; she was actually doing quite the opposite, sobbing uglily in Thomas's chest as Angelo almost fell over her, bringing Arthur forward slightly as well. For the first time, Delilah felt happy with her feelings, because she was accepting them with the best people she could've chosen for expressing herself with.

It took the Shelby brothers almost one hour to soothe the De Luca siblings enough so they would be able to walk home, though they decided they wouldn't leave them by themselves that night. They weren't about to risk losing their friends just in case they'd change their minds and decide in these twisted heads of their that dying could be the answer.

When they stepped into the De Luca's home, they could see how rushed Delilah had been to find her brother somewhere. Knives, plates, glasses and books were spread around the kitchen and living room in obvious despair to find a clue about Angelo's whereabouts. The older brother swallowed thickly while gazing at the mess his sister had left behind before she'd been gone to find him, turning upside down the whole town in case she'd find him hidden under a rock.

Delilah waved her brother's concerns away as she asked him to go to bed in a whisper, assuring she'd be looking after him all night if she needed to. Angelo nodded, hugging her tight to his chest before he left towards his bedroom, John and Arthur following after him so they'd be able to scold him one more time. Just in case Angelo's mind would come up with a similar idea, which could only bring to his murder by the very hands of his two closest friends.

Delilah kicked her shoes by the entrance and left her damp coat on the coat rack, outstretching Tommy's slightly drenched one towards him. He shook his head, placing it beside Delilah's as she moved to the kitchen, carefully picking up the knives from the ground. She opened a drawer and slid the knives inside with trembling hands, still unable to believe that she'd just jumped from a bridge to follow her brother's suicidal idea. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the intrusive thoughts as Arthur and John walked down the stairs. Delilah could hear the three brothers whispering to each other before two pairs of arms were wrapped around her, taking her by surprise as she let go of the glass she had been holding. It broke on the counter as the redhead turned around, hugging the two brothers with a sigh of relief before they broke the embrace, waving at her worriedly and exiting the front door.

Leaving Thomas standing in the living room, taking sight of every detail of the siblings' home.

"You don't need to stay, you know," she said confidently, though he could hear the plea in her voice for him to stay just in case she'd have to face Angelo's suicidal urges again.

"I'm not leaving you two by yourselves until I'm sure you won't jump off a bloody bridge," he stated calmly, sliding his hands in his pants pockets.

Delilah sighed, pointing at the chair at the kitchen table.

"Suit yourself, then."

Thomas slowly made his way to the chair, sitting down as Delilah turned around, grabbing two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. She placed everything on the table before grabbing a hair-tie resting on the kitchen counter and bringing her long hair in a messy bun on the top of her head. She was well conscious that she must look like a mess at that moment, but she didn't feel strong enough to make an effort and try to arrange her appearance. All she could do was sitting down across from Thomas, pouring them a well-deserved glass of whiskey and smoking a cigarette. That was all she felt like doing.

"I'm sorry for scaring you," she whispered, taking her cigarette away from her plump mouth.

"You both did," Thomas replied, a cloud of smoke escaping his parted lips.

"I know," she said with a nod. A moment of silence passed before she sucked in a deep breath. "I didn't know he'd do that, and I most certainly didn't think I'd jump too. But I just felt so powerless, I didn't know what else I could do."

Thomas cleared his throat, putting his glass of whiskey down on the wooden table and leaning forward slightly. His icy blue eyes never left her face and Delilah could swear she saw a flash of relief through these emotionless pupils. Probably relief that she didn't die from the fall, otherwise he would've had to tell her parents about her suicide and they'd be suspicious.

"I'm gonna tell you something," he began calmly. "You won't be of any more use and you'd be even more powerless if you were dead. Now, you didn't die, and he didn't either, but you could've. Both of you. You have to take care of things that matter before it's too late and you feel that kind of powerless facing them."

"What matters to you, Tommy?" Delilah found herself asking, genuinely curious about what he could say.

And the truth was, Thomas Shelby was speechless. How could he put into words the deep love he felt for his brothers? How could he express that if he'd had to be in her shoes at the very moment Angelo's body had disappeared through the Cut's depths, he would've jumped right after as well?

How could he tell her that, the moment she'd escaped his grip and disappeared behind the bridge edge, he had felt his heart stop in his cold chest? How could he say that the moment he'd realized that the redhead might die in the Cut's troubled arms, he'd felt like the entire world was collapsing under his feet? How could he ever say that she'd blown away his walls of coldness, and made him cheat on the set in stone promise he'd made himself to never fall for a woman again?

It was simply impossible. So, instead of speaking his mind, he remained silent, unable to form words in his throat. Even if he did, he was sure that they would never pass the barrier of his mouth.

Delilah stayed silent as well, staring at the whiskey twirling around in her glass. All she could remember was that scream, that panicked scream escaping into the cold air the moment she'd sunk into the water. She wasn't sure if she'd heard it or actually imagined it, but all she could say was that she'd never heard something so scary, mostly because the person who'd let it out seemed scared to the bones of what they'd been seeing.

"I'm sorry for scaring all of you," she repeated, unable to get the scream out of her mind. "It really wasn't my intention."

"I know," Tommy responded, bringing his glass to his lips. There were too many things he wanted to say.

Don't do that again. We need you.

However, every word, as small as it may be, was blocked in his throat. Letting her cry in his shirt and expressing his feelings upon imagining her dying underwater were two very different things. He lifted his eyes to her face, seeing that she was emptily staring at her trembling hands linked on the wooden table, wild straight strands of hair falling around her eyes as the hair-tie seemed to slowly loosen around her damp hair.

"The boys need you," he whispered, feeling ashamed that such a strong man, independent and proud couldn't even express how scared he was to lose a friend because he hadn't been holding her strongly enough.

"Yeah," Delilah scoffed, running the back of her hand under her nose. "I mean, what would they do without me, right? Business would collapse with these three."

The redhead closed her mouth, eyes watering as she thought once again about that shout. She felt like she was unable to stop it from flashing through her mind. The thing that bothered her about that scream was the split second she heard it, and the fact that she regretted escaping his grip that quickly and breaking through a sprint she'd known he'd feel responsible for. She'd felt like her heart had stopped beating, and she could swear at that moment if she could've turned back time, she probably would've. Not that she regretted following her brother in his suicidal attempt, because she genuinely wasn't prepared and would never be able to live a life without him.

All she regretted was leaving his side when he'd been holding her hand to hold her back. To stop her from leaving him forever. And she had been unable to read that when she'd jumped, only being struck by the thought when she'd been underwater, faces flashing in front of her eyes as she'd slowly felt life coming out of her in oxygen bubbles.

Angelo, her parents, her little sister, John, Polly and Arthur. Grace. Ada. Thomas.

Thomas's smile when he'd had a bit too much of a drink, Thomas's frown when she'd told him about the London plan, Thomas's eyes trailing after her every time she'd been leaving his side to join one of his brothers', Thomas's strong voice whenever they'd been arguing over a business matter or when they'd been joking around, forgetting about other people's existence to focus on them both.

And she would never forget the way her heart had started beating again the moment each and every one of Tommy's memories she'd gathered in her head flashed in front of her half-closed eyes.