Friday, April 4, 1952

Nellie stared at the mirror on her desk. Tired eyes stared back. Her watch read 0413 hours. Way too early to be awake, but awake she was nonetheless. 

Colonel Tucker had left four days ago. Since then, Nellie had settled into a routine. The morning went the same every day: wake up, shower, read, have breakfast with the surgeons. But Nellie hadn't been able to sleep the entire night. She'd lain awake, staring at the tent roof, willing her mind to quiet. It had gone on hour after hour.

Her red satin pajama pants and tank top felt too comfy to change out of. Instead, Nellie grabbed her light purple, fluffy bathrobe and slipped into her shower shoes. When she opened her door, the chorus of cicadas reminded her just how early it was. At least at 4:30 in the morning, the showers wouldn't have a line. 

And what better time to think than before the dawn? The world slept. Even the rats seemed to have taken the night off because she didn't trip over a single one on the way across camp. The Nurses' Shower stood as silent as everywhere else.

Once inside, Nellie undressed. As the air hit her, she shivered. Her clothes went on the small bench to the left of the door, and her bathrobe on the hook. She grimaced. The water would definitely be chilly based on the weather.

As it hit her, she squeezed her body as tight as possible. It stung like being pinched by needles. But the more she let the water wash over her skin, the less terrible it felt. It became a bit of a relief. The past two nights before her sleepless one had been filled by OR sessions. At least she could rest, even if sleep eluded her.

That's when it hit her. Today was April 4th. Today was Jack's birthday. Two more days and it was her birthday. Nellie pulled the shower chain and the water stopped. How had she forgotten? In Korea she was thirteen hours ahead, so roughly 4:00 PM back home… yesterday. So she had time. 

Nellie pulled the chain again and let the water run over her. She really hoped Klinger wouldn't for some reason pull her file so she could keep her birthday under wraps. While she was sure the camp would love a massive party, her birthday had always been a bit of a solemn affair given how close Jack's was, and on that day they never celebrated. Not since 1943.

She dried off quickly and wrapped herself in her bathrobe. Despite the sky getting brighter by the minute, the air had yet to warm up. Her feet squeaked in her shoes as she hurried across camp. By the time Nellie changed into fatigues, it was 0530 hours.

With nothing to do, Nellie went to Post Op. One of Hawkeye's severe patients hadn't been doing well, so a visit couldn't hurt. She slipped inside quietly. To her surprise, Hawkeye sat on an empty cot staring at a chart. Gwen sat at the nurse's desk.

Nellie held the door so it wouldn't make a noise. The occupants of Post Op all slept. About nine beds were still full from the OR session two days ago. As quiet as she could, Nellie moved over to Hawkeye. His eyebrows were furrowed as he stared down at the patient chart, pencil in one hand.

"Morning."

He looked up at her whisper. Offering her the chart, he just sighed. "His kidneys have shut down."

Nellie looked down at the charts. Blood tests were consistent with acute renal failure. Her heart sank. Sitting down next to him, she frowned. "What about that kidney machine I heard you and BJ rigged up last summer?"

"This progressed too rapidly. There wasn't any time." Hawkeye looked at the boy in question. He had auburn-red hair and pale skin made even more clammy by the prognosis. "He's eighteen! He should be having girl troubles not fighting this goddamn war."

She stayed next to him. They hadn't talked much since she'd kissed him, other than him agreeing not to gloat about it around camp. But seeing him there, the absolute despair and pain on his face as all he could do was watch this child die before his eyes, she felt moved to help in some way. Someway, like the way he had helped her.

So she took his hand. Nellie felt him relax at the contact. She had seen how much he seemed to rely on touch for comfort. "Hawkeye." She wanted to say more, but her voice caught in her throat. 

He sighed again and stood up, breaking contact with her. The clipboard went back on the hook. After telling Gwen to get him when symptoms progressed, he went to leave. Nellie hurried after him.

"Hawk." She put herself in front of him. Her voice stopped again. But she made up her mind. "Can we take a walk?"

His eyebrows shot up and he forced a cheeky grin. "Like a date?"

"No pizza, no date." But she took a deep breath and nodded. "This is a bit more pressing." Gesturing forward, she watched in amusement as be dragged himself over. "Today's my brother's birthday."

"Happy birthday!" Then he grinned. "We can throw a party!"

"No!" She paused. "Sorry. No. Since the Second World War, we haven't exactly celebrated it. Not as a party, anyway." Hesitation stopped her again. But finally, she nodded to herself and continued. "We have a tradition. Jack did it by himself until he moved back home, and then I joined him. We each buy a beer, and add one extra dedicated to all his friends who were killed in action." She didn't realize she'd stopped walking until Hawkeye moved in front of her. "So. I would be honored if you and BJ would join me tonight. And we can dedicate the extra to Private McNeil too."

He looked down at her. In a rare moment of total seriousness, be nodded. "I'd be honored."

She breathed in deeply and nodded. The pink and blue sunrise pulled her attention away for a moment as she calmed herself. Finally she looked back at Hawkeye. But her words failed her again, and she shut her mouth.

"Cat got your tongue," Hawkeye joked. "Must be how beautiful I am, it left you at a loss for words."

Nellie snorted. "You wish."

He smiled. "Supply room's open." When she rolled her eyes, he just chuckled. "I did manage to kiss you, so it's only a matter of time."

"Okay, one, I kissed you. Two, the fact that you somehow think I'll be wooed by your ways inevitably is absurd."

"Oh, right, right. My bad." His smirk just grew as he backed up against the wall near Post Op's door. He held up his hands. "Such a stubborn, proud woman surgeon will never fall for the handsome doctor."

Nellie bit her lip angrily. She stepped up to him and put her hands on her hips. "I am not stubborn."

"Well…"

She went to push him. He caught her hand. Before she could pull away, he'd landed a kiss on her lips. To her own surprise she didn't pull back until he broke it.

"If last time was you, it was my turn." He still held her arm. With a quick wink, he pushed her arm down and let go.

"Could you two keep it down. Some of us are trying to sleep."

They both looked over to see BJ's head propped up through the mesh of the nearby Swamp. Hawkeye started cracking up, and Nellie just felt her face flush as she stepped back a bit.

"Thank you." As Hawkeye kept snickering, BJ lifted his head again. "And Hawk?"

"What else, Sleeping Beauty?"

"Try not to make her too angry. I'd hate to see Klinger have to fill out a death certificate. Honestly, I'm starting to think she's more dangerous than Margaret."

It was Nellie's turn to laugh. She just moved over to the side near BJ's cot. His head rested on his arms over his pillow. She bent over and pretended to whisper to him. "You're not wrong."

"I don't know, Hotlips is pretty scary."

Nellie snorted, and put her hands on her hips. "You're lucky she hasn't put you in Post Op for calling her that."

With a cute, innocent little shrug, Hawkeye just smiled. He went to respond when they were interrupted again. This time it was Charles.

"Pierce, if you do not shut your mouth I will come and shut it for you." His head hadn't even moved, and his eyes remained closed. Finally he glanced at the clock. "I don't know what has possessed you to be awake and taking a stroll at… my god it's not even six."

"Hush-a-by Charles. You're angry when your you."

"Yeah, Charles. Go back to sleep."

"Imbeciles."

"Doctor!"

They all turned, both BJ and Charles sitting up at the call. Gwen had poked her head out of Post Op. Her face was grim.

Hawkeye's mirth evaporated. "McNeil?"

"Yes, sir. His breathing's thready and we can't wake him."

"Damn it." Hawkeye's hands went to his hips. Without another pause, he hurried back to Post Op, putting his stethoscope on.

Charles and BJ both looked concerned. With a sigh, Nellie explained the kidney failure. Both of them fell silent. 

Her heart hurt. Nellie moved away, back to her tent. Her tent had quickly became a safe zone for herself in Korea, and as much as the cockroaches that snuck in were disgusting, the tent was home as much as anything else. Somehow, she managed to sleep. 

Lunch came and went. She dined with Father Mulcahy, Klinger, and Margaret. When that was over, she sought out the surgeons. Hawkeye still slept.

"He was up quite a bit, worried about McNeil."  BJ told her about his rough night as they tossed horseshoes. So far he had ten points to her seven. "You're up."

"Don't rush me."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"Right."

BJ chuckled. As they continued their game, corpsmen and nurses passed to and fro. A handful had started shooting a basketball, and another pair threw a baseball back and forth. Overall the day was livelier than most recent ones.

Thunk.

Clang.

"Damn!" Nellie pinched her nose. Her two horseshoes edged just shy of beating BJ. Finally she shook her head. "Did Hawkeye mention my brother's birthday to you?"

"Yeah. Sounds like a good idea. Rosie's or the O Club?"

She paused. "O Club. I think Jack'd want them remembered surrounded by the US Army."

"You don't talk about him much."

"No I don't." They looked at each other and both started smirking. Nellie gestured to the stake. "Throw your horseshoes."

"It's eleven to seven."

Nellie rolled her eyes. "For now."

While they threw horseshoes, the time went by quickly. Colonel Potter joined them when the score was seventeen to ten, and Nellie relinquished her place. She was content to watch the two men compete. Both were significantly better than her.

After dinner, Nellie became more stressed. She'd tried to place a call to Jack, but the phone lines and telegraphs were down to the States. All she wanted was to hear her brother's voice. She didn't want to think about his potential mental state on his birthday by himself.

Nellie stared at the Officers' Club door as she stood behind the Swamp. Arms crossed, heart heavy, she didn't notice BJ and Hawkeye come up to her until they stood to either side.

Hawkeye turned to her. "If you don't want us there-"

"No. No, I meant it when I asked." In her hand she held a small, black and white photo. A dozen men had crowded into place wearing airborne uniforms. As she started towards the Officers' Club, she hid it as best she could.

Father Mulcahy sat at the piano playing a soft tune. The only table available was in the far corner, but Nellie was grateful for one at all. As BJ went to save it, she headed to the bar with Hawkeye.

"Major, Captain," said Igor. "What'll it be?"

Nellie didn't hesitate. "We need five beers." 

"Coming right up." Igor reached below the bar and pulled them out quickly. With a scratch and a pop, he undid the lids. "Whose tab?"

Hawkeye jumped in. "Mine." 

When she glanced up at him, he nodded. So she didn't protest. Together they carried the five beers over to the table. BJ had pulled a third chair over, and they sat down. Hawk passed him a beer.

Nellie didn't say anything as she put the two extra beers in the open area of the table. She couldn't. Her throat tightened, and her eyes watered. But at last she breathed in through her nose and sighed. The photo joined the beers in the center.

"To everyone war has claimed." Lifting her beer up, Nellie frowned. "The dead, and the living." 

Hawkeye and BJ copied her, and she clinked the brown beer bottle with theirs. Then she tapped the extra two. Under her breath, she wished her brother a happy birthday. Then she drank. 

After several minutes of listening to the bustle around them, BJ broke their silence. "When did your brother fight?" 

"In 1942 he joined up. He was placed in E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, of the 101st Airborne Division."

"Screaming Eagles?" BJ looked at her in surprise. "Quite an elite group."

"Yeah."

Conversation died again. Her heart wasn't in discussing it. From the letters Jack had written from Europe, they had definitely been an elite group. But what she knew more than anything was that such elite status meant they received more risky missions. And that meant more bloodshed. She downed half her beer.

After awhile, BJ and Hawkeye bantered with each other. Nellie let them go on without her. Even just having other people to celebrate Jack's birthday meant the world, but she didn't know how to express that. All situations surrounding her brother and the war made her clam up.

At 0230 hours, Igor wanted to close up. Almost everyone had left. So together they left the Officers' Club. When Nellie looked back, all she saw were two beers on the table, untouched. A tribute to all that war caused.