Even her eyes stung as she wandered into the women's changing area. They'd been in OR since four, almost ten hours. Nellie plopped herself down onto the bench and rubbed her face. Bending her fingers stung.

Most of the nurses grabbed their clothes and left. She didn't spare them a second glance. Only as Margaret finally joined her did she glance up. "Thanks for the help on that first patient."

Margaret shrugged. She flashed a small smile. Off went the white clothes into the laundry bin. "You did good work all day. You're faster than the men, you know."

"Yeah." She cracked a smile and laid her own head against the wooden wall. "Yeah but they still take most of the bad cases."

"Give it time. They're just letting you ease in."

"It's been a hell of a first week."

Margaret snorted. "No kidding." She slipped her fatigues on.

A quick shout from the other side of the curtains distracted them, but they couldn't tell what was being said. The noise of sterilizing instruments drowned the men out. Nellie sat herself straighter. Now that her fingers didn't hurt as much, she began to disrobe.

Margaret shrieked. As Nellie looked over quickly, the woman stomped away towards the others. Nellie hurriedly put on her fatigues and followed.

When she peeked around Margaret into the men's changing space, she found Charles, BJ, and Hawkeye all cackling. The latter two huddled together, chewing on brownies through their tears of joy.

"A Houlihan never forgets!" The curtains slammed closed at Margaret's fury. She spun around.

"What?"

"Those weasels put dead minnows in my pockets!" 

Nellie's lip curled as Margaret took them out. Their beady black eyes and shiny, silver scales flashed in the lights. "That's disgusting." Suddenly, she paused. Carefully she felt her own pockets through the outside.

"Anything?"

Nellie shook her head. "Nothing."

"Watch out. They're coming for you too." Margaret threw the minnows to the left of the door as they walked into the sun. Then she looked at Nellie. "After all, you started this."

"It feels like ages ago."

Nellie glanced at her watch as Margaret continued on. About two o'clock. Her stomach roiled in empty hunger, and a dull ache had settled in the back of her head. The bright sun didn’t help. Torn between her bed and lunch, she paused in the middle of the compound.

Stifled laughter sounded from her right. Nellie glanced over and saw a group of nurses hiding their smiles. She glanced left. Colonel Potter strode across the compound. Clipped to his belt with a clamp, a fox tail dangled unceremoniously. Suddenly Nellie found herself hiding her own grin. “Uh, sir.” She jogged to catch up with him. “Sir you’ve been pranked.”

“What in the name of Doris Day do you mean?”

“It seems you’ve grown a tail.”

Colonel Potter didn’t say anything. After staring at her for a moment, he peered over his shoulder as best he could. He grabbed the clamp and pulled it off. “Those jokers…” Then he narrowed his eyes. 

“Don’t look at me, sir!” But then she choked out a laugh. “I mean, it’s a nice tail.”

He went to respond when the unmistakable noise of the denizens of the Swamp floated their way. Charles strode quietly but his smirk never faded. The laughter and chatting of BJ and Hawkeye abruptly ended as they saw the Colonel holding the tail.

“Pierce!”

“Yes Colonel?”

“Don’t play dumb, it doesn’t suit you.”

Nellie chuckled, walking with Colonel Potter over to the other three surgeons. She just shook her head. “I don’t know…”

“Hey!”

“My persona is truly hallowed indeed. Horse hockey.” The Colonel stopped in front of them and shook his head. As he went to hand the clamp and tail back to Hawkeye, the man flinched and ducked out of the way.

“Calm yourself, Pierce,” Charles said. “You’re a might jumpy aren’t you.”

Hawkeye just stuck another brownie in his mouth. BJ took the tail from Potter for him. Together, they walked to the tent and Hawkeye wiggled his fingers in a wave. 

As they wandered off, Nellie just looked around the camp. The Colonel and BJ went towards the Mess Hall while Hawkeye took the brownies and followed Charles to the Swamp. To the left, she saw Kellye, Shelley, and Shari going to the nurses' tents. Their feet dragged in the dirt.

Once more, Nellie was left to choose. Sleep, or food. While the late March sunlight beat down on her, she sighed. Finally, her bed won out. 

By the time she woke up, the moon and stars had replaced the sun. Music and light floated from the Officers' Club. A small light also shined in the Swamp. Nellie headed that way.

She let her button down fall from her arms. The gentle breeze caressed her.. Soft, refreshing. It was a welcome change to the heat from the day. When she got closer to the Swamp, she found Hawkeye writing a letter in his cot.

"Hey."

He looked up at her through the bug netting of the tent. With a smirk, he gestured for her to come in. "We shouldn't disappoint the rumor mill."

"That would be a shame." Nellie cracked a smile. With a small shake of her head, she pulled open the door. Glancing around, she paused. "Would BJ care-"

"He's not Charles."

"At least Charles is clean. You two are…"

"I don't have to take this!" 

"...homey?" In the end, Nellie sat down in the chair next to Hawkeye's cot. She folded her button down on her lap absentmindedly. Curiosity overtook her. "What are you writing?"

"A love poem, to the only woman in camp who doesn't love me back." He stared at her for a second before laughing. "I'm writing my Dad back."

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help smiling. "What's it say?" Then she paused. "Sorry, you don't need to tell me."

"He wrote me about home," Hawkeye said. Putting his letter and pencil down, he leaned behind his cot and pulled out an envelope. He gave it to her.

The envelope crinkled a bit as she opened it. Inside, a tiny, dried crocus peaked back up at her. Her heart nearly stopped. The purple petals lay there, a perfectly preserved testament to the beauty of home. A sign of goodness and purity and renewal. It took a moment before she reached in and touched it. When she pulled it out, she looked at it more closely.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Nellie felt her throat tighten. For a moment, she couldn't form words. Her heart seemed to construct, forming a knot in her chest as she tried to pull her gaze away from the crocus.

"We don't see too many crocuses in Baltimore," she choked out a moment later. Nellie put the pressed flower gingerly back into the envelope. 

Hawkeye took it back. He hesitated before placing the envelope back on the shelf. "They're all over Crabapple Cove. Purple, white, all sorts of colors. My cousins used to pick them and make flower crowns."

They sat in silence. Though unusual when around Hawkeye, it somehow didn't feel wrong. Almost like they sat vigil for a lifetime they'd lost. Her thoughts drifted to Jack. She hoped he was doing alright, all that alone time.

Suddenly she stood. Nellie still didn't say anything. She poured herself a glass of their home brewed gin. With a heavy heart, she downed a large sip and nearly choked. "That doesn't get any easier."

Hawkeye cracked a smile. He stood and got himself a glass as well. "You're just weak."

"Weak?" 

"I mean you're a woman so…" 

He started cackling after a moment and assured her he'd been joking. With a quick movement, he clinked his glass against hers. "To home."

She took a deep breath. With a quick nod, she added. "And to those we left at home."

They both downed their drinks. Nellie felt her face scrunching against her will. Their gin was truly horrible. She realized he must've noticed when he suggested they find better alcohol.

"Why don't we drink some of that vodka you have hidden away?"

"Fine. But only one drink. I'm trying to keep it going as long as possible."

They left the Swamp. Side by side they trailed across the compound. They hadn't gone ten steps from the tent when BJ joined them. His white lab coat still covered his fatigues.

"You two really are starting to cause some rumors. You sure you two aren't a thing."

"Rumors, Dr. Hunnicutt. That's all they are." Nellie winked at him and gestured to her tent. "I can't well exclude you from our vodka plans."

"That sounds fun." 

"Didn't get your fill of fun in Post Op?" Hawkeye gestured over to the door as they walked past. A soft light emanated from the covered windows and doors.

BJ snorted. "Ton of fun."

Nellie frowned to herself. "How's Private Stevens?"

"Bigelow told me he took his pain meds like a champ. His wounds were minor. Why?"

Silently she chewed her lip. Connor Stevens, eighteen, had been having an intense panic attack when she'd helped him in Pre Op. He'd only had a minor leg wound, but the sight of all the wounded had triggered some intense emotions for him. He'd torn his pressure bandage off. Pulse rapid and breathing irregular, it'd taken a good five minutes for her to talk him down.

"No particular reason, I was just curious."

They reached her tent. Nellie opened the door and led the way inside. As Hawkeye sat on her bed and BJ took the chair, she pulled the suitcase out from under her bed where she kept the vodka. To her surprise, there was more left than she remembered.

"Alright. One drink." Nellie filled the three shot glasses. She sighed. "Right. What do we toast to?"

BJ paused. Then he raised his glass. "To the boys who go home men."

"I can drink to that."

Nellie agreed. "And for those who meet them back home." She downed it quickly. 

The taste of antiseptic filled her mouth. Nellie coughed, choking on the rubbing alcohol as BJ and Hawkeye started cracking up. One cough, too, she spit onto the ground.

"Very cleansing," Hawkeye managed through tears. "Now you're squeaky clean."

As she struggled to catch her breath, she slammed her glass onto her desk. "You rats!"

BJ didn't say anything, but he skittered behind Hawkeye. Nellie had grabbed one of her dress heels. They both shouted, tumbling out the door.

"I swear I will murder you both," she hissed. Nellie grabbed Hawkeye by the sleeve. "Where's my vodka!" She spit onto the ground again, trying to get the horrible taste out of her mouth.

"We gave it to Irving."

BJ cackled at her fury. "Oh no, Hawk, we're really in the doghouse now."

Managing to free himself from his button down, Hawkeye scurried away in his tee shirt. He cackled. "Throw us a bone here. We're just trying to have fun."

Nellie stopped. Her eyes narrowed. "You'll regret this."

The sudden change stopped them both. They stood quietly, trying to stop their own laughter. Nellie just walked away. She took Hawkeye's top shirt with her, ducking into her tent and locking the door. She looked at her vodka bottle full of rubbing alcohol. They had no idea what was coming for them.