A/n: hiooo! This is a really long chapter sorry, and viktor isn't in it like I promised. I'm sorry. The next one will be better I swear. The main plot starts in the next one. Also, to any of you who live in America right now, stay safe. I hope you're all okay.

Anyway enjoy and and thanks for reading!

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Leaving Detroit was one of the hardest things Yuuri had ever done. The thought of possibly never returning to a place where he'd made a life for himself Over the past five years was crushing. He'd made so many amazing friends, more than he ever had back in Japan. There was nothing he could do now anyway. He'd made the decision to leave and that was final.

As the plane that they were traveling landed, Yuuri began to feel sick. Even though he had earphones in to distract himself from thinking too much, he could still hear the little voice in the back of his head telling him that he was worthless and that he had made the wrong choice.

After getting off the place and retrieving their bags, Yuuri and Izo went to the cafe to get something to eat. Yuuri hadn't spoken to Izo properly since Saturday night, and he wasn't planning to for a while. Yuuri had managed to retrieve his phone by sneaking into Izo's coat pocket when he was sleeping, but he knew he was going to have to keep it hidden. He had texted Minako to come and meet him at the Hasetsu Train station around 1:30pm. They had an hour and a half to catch a train to there.

"We better go. We're catching the train at 12:30." Yuuri announced before getting up from the table and walking away with his bags in hand. Izo followed after him. They caught a cab to the train station, luckily it was only 5 minutes away. Yuuri payed the driver and walked into the station. Both sat down on a bench and began reading train times.

"Our one should be here in 7 minutes." Yuuri spoke before getting up. "I'm going to the toilet. Can you look after my bags please?"

"No. I'm coming with you." Izo insisted. Yuuri tensed up and turned away from his lover. He grabbed his bags before proceeding to walk onto the men's toilets with Izo watching him like a hawk. Yuuri carefully placed his bags down and entered a cubicle. Of course, he didn't actually need the toilet, he just needed some breathing space away from Izo. He'd been down his neck since Saturday and was constantly watching Yuuri in some shape or form. It made Yuuri so uncomfortable, there were no words to describe his feelings.

He took his phone out and checked his messenger. Nothing. Yuuri opened the camera app and turned it to face view. Tilting his head in a few different positions, he examined the massive purple mark on the far right side of his jaw. It was disgusting. Yuuri knew he'd brought it on himself. He was ashamed. He quickly checked the time and realised that their train should be arriving any minute.

He fumbled around for a few seconds before shoving his phone into the pocket of his coat and then flushing the toilet to make it seem like he'd been. He quickly exited the cubicle and washed his hands. He then picked up his bags and ran out of the toilets. Luckily, the train was just about to stop. They both jumped on and quickly found two seats. They shoved their suitcases by their feet and sat back.

Yuuri started out the window as the train traveled out of the station, and examined the landscape around him. After about ten minutes, Green fields and trees surrounded him as he gazed in awe at the city he'd grown up in. He could nearly see the sea over the top of the trees. It warmed his heart being back in his home country. He felt warm and fuzzy but also a little sick. He was so scared to see his family again.

A hand grabbing his is what made his snap out of his daydream. He looked over at Izo to see him holding his hand and gently caressing it. Yuuri blushed slightly and turned away.

"Yuuri, don't ignore me." He sighed. "What's up now?"

"You know damn right what's up." Yuuri muttered quietly so that it was inaudible to his boyfriend.

"Hmm. Hasetsu seems like a nice place." Izo changed the subject. "I could get used to this."

"The next stop will be Hasetsu train station. We will arrive in approximately 10 minutes." The announcer rang.

Wow, ten minutes went by fast. Yuuri thought to himself. He looked out the window again. He could see the sea more clearly now. It was a stunning turquoise colour, and the glistening sun and the trees around it made it look like a scene out of a movie. It was absolutely breathtaking. Hasetsu castle was now in view too and Yuuri started to squeal internally. It had been so long, so so long since he'd last seen these things and until now, he hadn't realised how much he'd missed them.

"Is this where you grew up?" Izo asked.

"Yeah. There's an ice skating rink by the castle, so I've always had somewhere to practice near my home. I can't wait to tell my family about Detroit!" Yuuri rambled. He shut up when he realised he'd gone completely off the point.

"I can't wait to meet your family either. Oh, and Yuuri? Any word about Saturday and I'll make sure you regret it. Do you understand?" Izo whispered.

Yuuri stopped for a second. Of course he nodded, only cause he had too. But memories of that night were still only too clear in his brain. 'Do you understand?' Had become some sort of trigger now, and could send him off to all sorts of hell. That night he'd learned why he hated himself so much. That night he learned why his boyfriend did what he did to him. That night was the one he spent all night on the floor pondering whether to carry on or not. Whether to just quit everything. And to others, it might have seemed over sensitive and dumb, but to Yuuri, it was like an open bullet wound.

The train came to an abrupt stop all of a sudden and the announcement rang again.

"Now stopping at Hasetsu train station. Thank you all for traveling with us."

Yuuri grabbed his bags and followed Izo off the train. They went through the barrier and stopped at the main entrance. Yuuri had an itching urge to check his phone for the time but knew that with Izo right beside him, he couldn't. He looked around for Minako for a good 5 minutes, but finally spotted her by the entrance.

"Minako!" Yuuri yelled to grab her attention. A few people turned their head towards him, but not Minako.

"Minako!" He shouted slightly louder. Once She'd turned around and seen him, she came running towards him.

"Yuuri! Welcome back! Did you miss me? How have you been?" She fired questions at him all at once.

"Yes I've missed you, I've been good thanks." He answered patiently.

"Jesus Christ, what happened to your face?" Minako questioned as she poked the massive bruise, causing Yuuri to flinch. He felt Izo squeeze his arm slightly before he answered.

"O-oh, I just fell and hit it on the side of the rink a few days ago." He replied.

"Why am I not surprised? Anyway, Who's this guy?" Minako asked, tilting her head at Izo.

"Uh- that's my boyfriend." Yuuri stuttered.

"Boyfriend?! Yuuri got himself a boyfriend?" Minako laughed. "Just kidding. Congrats both of you. Listen, we better be getting back, your parents are eager to see you." She guided them both to her car.

Yuuri's house was no more than 5 minutes away. Just by driving back to his house, he could clearly Remember all the memories he'd made in Hasetsu before he'd left. Nothing had changed over the years, and Yuuri was glad about that. He didn't like change, especially with things that were close to his heart. They pulled up at the hot spring and got out of the car. They hauled their bags inside, where Yuuri's parents were waiting for them.

The moment Yuuri was through the door, he was wrapped into a warm hug by his mother and father. He hadn't even had the chance to say hello. But that was okay, no words needed to be spoken now to convey all of their feelings. Yuuri wanted it to stay like that forever, with no worries in the world. Just love. But he knew it was nowhere near as simple as that.

---

Over the next few hours, Yuuri had unpacked quickly and went for a soak in the hotspring. He'd found it surprisingly easy to settle back into his home city. He'd gone for a quick walk after finishing his pork cutlet bowl. It was just like his teenage years where he didn't have to worry about a thing. But of course, so many things had changed since then.

Yuuri took a deep breath and slid down so the water was covered his mouth, but he could breath through his nose. His glasses started steaming up and he sighed. He had so much in his mind, he was glad he was alone. He was torn between giving up skating or pursuing his dream. He wanted to make his family proud, and be good enough to make himself happy, but it was easier said than done.

Izo was out in the city in his new apartment. They'd agreed that it would be best of him to live in the city while Yuuri stayed with his family for the time being because it was within walking distance of the ice castle. It was also handy for Izo because he'd applied for a job in the city. It was also handy because Yuuri felt extremely uncomfortable around him now

Being back home was a dream for Yuuri. He never thought he'd get over loosing at the Grand Prix final, he imagined himself sulking in his room for the rest of his skating days. He didn't think he could find any motivation to do anything again. After a good half an hour, Yuuri got out and wrapped a towel around himself to keep warm.

He gazed up at the stars above him with awe. Yuuri would never fail to be amazed at the thousands of starts that were above him. Even if it sounded stupid to others, it gave Yuuri a sense of safety and warmth. He then adverted his gaze to the city beneath him. The glowing city lights never failed to take his breath away.

He'd really missed Hasetsu. He doubted that he'd ever leave again.

----

March had come and gone, and by April, Yuuri had pretty much forgotten that he'd ever left his hometown. Everything seemed so ordinary, it was hard to believe that he'd only return less than a month ago from a five year trip. He could navigate his way around the city like the back of his hand.

One place that Yuuri had missed the most was the ice castle skating rink. Just from hearing the name Yuuri could bring back the feeling of skating and training there from his childhood. He'd been to visit everyday, and spent hours skating there everyday, despite not having a coach.

Even though it had been over a month, Yuuri still couldn't find any inspiration. He was as good as dead. He didn't know what was pulling him back, but Yuuri wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. For weeks, he'd had countless sleepless nights, tossing and turning in his bed trying to think of something, something to feed inspiration off. But he knew only too well that he had nothing. Nothing in the slightest.

Izo and him were doing okay. Their five year anniversary was coming up, and in all honesty, Yuuri couldn't be bothered for it. They'd been out on a few dates, they hung out as often as they could, which was rarely (thank god). Yes, Yuuri did like him but he had developed a massive fear of Izo. Wasn't he supposed to love him? Was it normal to fear your lover? He'd had a few hits and punches here and there when he didn't listen, but Yuuri had normalised that by now, and besides he assumed that every relationship was like that. But how wrong he was. How wrong of him to stick around Izo, when to other people it was obvious that they'd developed a really unhealthy relationship. One that could leave a massive scar on Yuuri if Izo one day went too far. Physically and mentally.

Yuuri had called Izo on a cold April afternoon to announce that he wanted him to see something. It took some convincing, but finally Izo budged. Izo was always reluctant to agree to do anything related with ice skating. He thought it was a waste of time, and that's something that saddened Yuuri. Was he not good enough for his boyfriend to support him?

Once he showed up, Yuuri guided him to the rink where Yuko was already waiting. He entered the rink with his heart beating like a drum. Was he ready to do this?

Yes he was.

"I know this isn't much but I've been practicing this since I lost at the Grand Prix final." Yuuri spoke before taking his position on the ice.

You better appreciate this, I'm missing viktors performance at the nationals for this Yuuri wished he could tell them, but decided against it because it was rude.

"This is viktors program 'stay close to me'" Yuko gasped.

He began skating with everything he had. He wanted to show them he hadn't given up on skating. Not just yet. He Just needed the right motivation. He landed his first quad perfectly, and skated beautifully throughout the whole thing. He landed all of his jumps flawlessly, and made it look simple. It came to an end quickly, and when he turned to Yuko, she was already bawling.

"What was amazing! That was a perfect copy of viktors routine!" Yuko cried.

"T-thank you." Yuuri blushed. He wasn't used to receiving compliments.
He turned to his boyfriend looked half amused.

"It was okay I guess." He commented.
Yuuri stepped off the ice and undid his laces. He was immediately greeted with Yuko's triplets, unaware that they'd been watching him too.

"Uh- hi." Yuuri greeted them awkwardly. They just giggled at him which was kind of Creepy, but Yuuri brushed it off quickly. "I'm heading back home. I'll see you both tomorrow."

He quickly gave Izo a kiss on the cheek before grabbing his bags and skates and exiting the rink. He decided to jog all the way home, which proved difficult with all the weight of his bags.
He was breathless and worn out by the time he reached home. He greeted his parents and then immediately headed to his room and collapsed onto his bed. It had been a long day

He took his phone out of his pocket and realised he had loads of notifications. He typed in his password and logged into twitter to see what all the hype was about. He scrolled for a good few minutes before coming to an abrupt stop.

Yuuri froze.

There was a video of him. A video of him skating to 'stay close to me'.

"What the fuck." Yuuri cursed as he scrolled through his feed. "Nononononono." The video had hundreds of views and retweets.

"What the fuck." Yuuri repeated again.

The thing that worried Yuuri most was the fact that Viktor could see it. It was out there, just waiting for him. Yuuri began to panic. Viktor could see how pathetic he was. It scared Yuuri to death. What would viktor think of him?

He decided that turning his phone off for the night and ignore all of his notifications. He was awake all night worrying about the video. Yuuri felt awful. His chest felt like it was on fire, and he felt as if the world was closing in on him. He turned onto his left side and tried to get some sleep.

He was ashamed.

He was so ashamed of himself.

And embarrassed.

Little did Yuuri know that it was only the beginning of the crazy things to come.

But the main question was:

Could Yuuri handle it?

••••••
Started writing: 9th of November
Finished writing: 11th November.
Published: 11th November
Words: 2802

Thanks for reading!