K.Y.S || Tossing & Turning

Genre: angst, slice of life, grief, comfort

TW: mentions of death, alcohol consumption, insinuated teenage pregnancy, and substance addiction. Reader's discretion is advised.

Pairing: Yeosang x Talia (oc)

Word count: 2.3k


Mood Samplers

      Talia enjoyed the sound of the liquor filling up her favorite mug; the way peaked up to a muffled crescendo as she filled it to the brim was oddly mesmerizing for her. Too mesmerizing, actually; she had to force herself out of her trance once she heard some keys rattling by the entrance of the small apartment.

       Her immediate reaction was to slowly pull the mug across the counter so she could stand in front of it when he came in, and that usually worked because, frankly, she knew Yeosang did not want to interfere anymore. She had become a lost cause to him, or at least she conditioned herself to believe so.

      But tonight was different.

      Talia had to put herself through the struggle of straining her eyes to read the time off the wall clock; it was 9 pm. Yeosang's shifts did not end on weekdays until midnight at the very least, so what was he doing here 3 hours early?

      Despite not feeling very nervous (she could barely feel anything really), she looked like a deer caught in headlights when Yeosang finally walked in on her.

      While she was already in some worn-out pajamas, he was still in his crisp work attire which made him more intimidating than usual, and the scowl on his face did not help as he noticed the bottle of liquor beside her that she forgot to hide.

      Usually, he'd just give her a tired look before walking to his room and slamming the door, but again, tonight was different.

       Wordlessly, Yeosang walked into the open kitchen and grabbed the bottle before turning to the sink and pouring it down the drain.

       Talia gasped in shock as she attached herself to his arm. "No!" she let out, "Yeosang, what are you doing!"

       With a light shrug, he was able to get her flimsy figure off him as he begrudgingly emptied the bottle, feeling simultaneously satisfied and disgusted.

       Talia got up again, holding onto his shoulder only to see that the whole bottle was gone. Her arms dropped to her side as she gulped down a lump forming in her throat. When he turned to look at her, she couldn't help but let her eyes dart toward the direction of her booze-filled mug, and he immediately caught on.

        "No! Come on, Yeosang!" she cried out, her voice scratchy and high-pitched this time as he took the mug. She tried to snatch it out of his hands instantly, but he was way too familiar with her movement; he swiftly held the cup up, using his height as an advantage.

        "Jesus, Talia," he huffed out, and she pulled herself away from him, her fists clenching and unclenching as she looked around the room in what seemed to be panic.

        "No, Yeosang, no," she uttered as she looked at him with misty eyes, this time sounding less aggressive and more scared and desperate; it hurt him to see her like this.

       "I-I," she stammered in a slur, "I just need a little," she shut her eyes to focus on her words' coherence, and her fingers came together to demonstrate how small of an amount she was asking for, "just a little bit, it's to-to help me sleep, that's all."

       "No, you don't need it," he argued simply before hovering over to get to the sink.

       "No, no," she denied pulling him back, "just a little-just a little bit to go to sleep, Yeosang, please," she continued like a broken record, but her pleas were useless because in less than a second, Yeosang had tilted the cup into the sink, letting the alcohol race down the drain instantly.

      Talia choked on a gasp, pure horror painting on her face. "No!" she wailed, stumbling towards the sink in desperation; Yeosang had to grab her quivering shoulders to make sure she didn't fall.

       When she turned to him, she had a frown, and tears were a blink away from rolling down her cheeks, but she didn't look at him, overtaken by shame and humiliation.

       "You're mad at me again," she whispered under her breath, but their proximity left nothing secret.

       "Yes," he replied steadily, not missing a beat. "I am mad at you, Talia," he confirmed, though his voice sounded too soft for someone angry; he did have more to say, but he couldn't bring himself to when he saw how much she was shivering under his gaze.

       "Let's get you to bed," he said instead, his arm supporting her shaky figure, escorting her to the couch where she had her pillows and blankets sprawled out.

       "Don't be mad at me," she uttered, her voice weighed down with sorrow as her tears finally wet her cheeks.

        "I can't," he answered as he let go of her so she could sit down on the couch. She looked up at him with big doe eyes, utterly heartbroken at his reply.

        "I'm sorry," it bubbled out of her chest, "I'm sorry, I went to the rehab center—I really did, and I-I didn't drink for-for—" she paused to try and recall clearly before holding out 3 fingers, "for three days I didn't drink at all, and I—then-I–" she couldn't really find a proper excuse as to why she went back.

       "I went down to your office today," he stated, ignoring her words as he looked down at her with a mix of disappointment and pity that made her want to puke from how disgusting she felt.

       "You went to my office?" she asked, growing paler and more fidgety as she tucked some loose strands of her hair behind her ears.

       "Yes, Talia, I did," Yeosang spoke, and upon remembering the incident, he felt the anger leak back into his system. "They told me you've been fired."

        Talia's panicked breathing grew louder as she stuttered over and over while trying to find a lie to cover up her situation.

       "You've been fired from your job for 2 months for day drinking, Talia!" he yelled as if in doing so, he'd knock some sense into her, but all he did was make her jolt in place and tense up.

        "I-I was going to tell you—I-" she choked, looking at him cautiously through her wet lashes only to see the fury in his eyes, so she bit her lips shut. "I didn't mean to hide it."

        "You've been fired for 2 months, yet you've been disappearing from 9 to 5 daily. What the hell were you doing?!"

        "I was scared you'd kick me out if you knew I couldn't pay rent," she admitted, feeling shame explore her insides, "so I would take the train to Busan and back every day."

        Yeosang was so baffled by her reveal, he had to stop his jaws from dropping. "You've been paying for a trip to Busan and back daily, and you say you're scared you can't pay rent anymore?!" he chastised mockingly.

       Talia felt so cornered and small, she couldn't help but bring her knees up to her chest and wrap her arms around them to shrink her body in as much as possible. If she could disappear off the face of the earth, she would've. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she repeated over and over until her words slurred together into a mush of sobs and hiccups.

       "I'm mad at you," Yeosang stated as if she needed the reminder, "and I'm disappointed in you," he continued, purposefully salting her wounds; she cried harder till her body convulsed in place as she tried to breathe.

        He bit his lips and sat beside her, draping an arm around her shoulder before pulling her towards him, and she fell into him instantly, holding onto his top like it was her lifeline as she forced out another mantra of apologies.

        "Talia, if I am not mad at you, or disappointed in you, it would mean I don't care about you, and it would mean I don't love you," he explained in a soft whisper, his voice strained from all the shouting. "I don't care if you quit your job, I don't care if you don't pay rent; all I want is for you to get better, to be how you used to be, so we could–" his breath caught up in his throat, "so we could be how we used to be." His eyes drifted to the door of their bedroom he sleeps in alone now.

        His words managed to make her cry harder–if that was even possible anymore.

       "I'm so sorry," she heaved out as she pulled away from his chest to meet his misty eyes, "I'm really trying, Yeosang, I-I–it's really hard for me–I'm," she gulped down, feeling as if her insides would come out if she hadn't.

       "I know, baby, I know," Yeosang sighed, pulling her into his chest again so he didn't have to look at her like this. His finger stroked through her hair gently as he swallowed back his sadness. He allowed himself to melt into her; his head nesting near her neck as he hugged her tighter, wanting her to stop shaking so badly already.

       "Please, don't hate me," she let out faintly, fighting against the need to take a breath between all her sobbing.

       "I don't hate you," he replied on beat. "I can't hate you," Yeosang admitted as he shut his eyes and inhaled deeply; beneath the scent of alcohol covering her, there was a faint smell of her old self, the one he can't let go of. "You're my girlfriend," he comforted her, but saying those words aloud was the final nail in the coffin, triggering his own tears to spill.

       "Mm-hm," she hummed out as she held onto his tighter. "And y-you love me, right?" she asked, and the uncertainty in her voice made Yeosang bite the inside of his cheek.

      "Y-Yeah," he muttered, overtaken with sadness to form a proper reply, "I love you, so much."

       She let out a relieved breath before chuckling a bit. 

       "I-I did go to rehabilitation," Talia brought up, her voice more serious, "and i-it felt good to-to wake up remembering where I was, and what I was doing, but it was really really hard and then I ran into Zena and Nana, and she was-," Yeosang bit his lips, knowing where this was going as her voice grew higher and higher, "and she was walking and talking already–it just made me think of Miri, they would've been the same age—" she felt as if he lungs completely compressed due to lack of air.

       "Shhh," Yeosang hushed her as he pulled her close. "It's ok, baby," he tried to comfort her, but he knew words could only do so much.

        "That day–Yeosang-ah, that day," she forced out, and he shut his eyes tightly, desperately not wanting to hear it again but knowing it was the least he could do for her, "I really didn't mean to fall asleep–I-I never fell asleep in the bath before, s-she was in my arms, I was holding her, I swear I was holding her, I swear— I could feel her warm breathing right against my neck, I don't know how she slipped from me, I-I–" she moved her arms to wrap around his neck instead, needing more support, "I woke up, I was cold, the water was cold, and she–she was so cold, and I-I grabbed a blanket and wrapped her in it and held her to my chest," she pulled her arms away to hug herself and demonstrate her words, "but I couldn't feel her breathing–she wouldn't warm up anymore. Y-You came home, and if you didn't–I-I don't know-"

        "Hey," he called out for her, his hand cupping her face to force her attention on him, "it was an accident." She looked down and bit her lips, still not accepting it. "It's not your fault, we were too young, and we didn't know better," he dragged every word out so it would get through her. "Tal?" he muttered as he fixed her hair gently, wanting to hear her say it.

      "It was an accident," she repeated after him, her thumb between her teeth that tore at its cuticles mercilessly.

      "Come here," he pulled her to him one last time, leaving a prolonged peck on the crown of her head. She sighed, feeling her shaky breathing find its way to stability with his heartbeat as her guide.

       "You should go to sleep," Yeosang muttered quietly as his arms loosened around her, but she instantly held onto him.

       "Can I-" she gulped down her nerves, "can I sleep beside you?" Talia could hear his breathing stop suddenly before going back to normal as he cleared his throat.

       "It was your idea to sleep here, you know," he told her, clarifying that he was never on board with it.

       "I-I know, I just-" she attempted to put her thoughts into words.

       "And I hate sleeping alone," he stated, a bit light-heartedly to lift the mood.

        She giggled a bit, "yeah, I know, I'm sorry. I just didn't want you dealing with my tossing and turning when you have work so early in the morning."

       "Oh, cut the crap," he rolled his eyes, standing up and carrying her in his arms in one move which made her gasp and hold onto him. "We deal with each other's tossing and turning, Tal, that's part of the whole point of being together."


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Hey-ya, I'm back to writing my angsty shit, but at least I'm back.

The whole imagine was inspired by multiple scenes from the movie The Girl on the Train, which is a great psychological thriller, so I obviously romanticized it.

I'm a sucker for horror/psychological thrillers and macabre btw, what's your favorite movie genre?

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