It was Sunday, and finally, allowed akong magpahinga until Wednesday. My flight to Bali was scheduled for Thursday, and the thought of it made me feel a mix of excitement and anxiety. Kaya naman, nagdesisyon akong umuwi sa bahay namin sa Mariveles, Bataan. I loaded my car with all my things, which took longer than I expected. Dinala ko na ang lahat ng gamit ko mula sa condo dahil hindi na ako babalik doon. I felt a bittersweet pang in my chest at the thought of leaving that place behind, but I knew it was time for a fresh start.

Bago ako umalis, siniguro kong nagpaalam ako kina Christine at Christian. As I packed the last of my things, they came into the living room, their expressions a mix of sadness and support.

"Shan, are you really leaving us for a year?" tanong ni Christine, nanlalaki ang mga mata na tila hindi makapaniwala.

"Yeah, I know it's a long time," sagot ko, pilit na pinananatili ang boses kong matatag. "But I need this. It's an opportunity I can't pass up."

Lumapit si Christian, may ngiti sa kanyang mukha. "Just know that we're going to miss you like crazy. Sino na ang magpapasaya sa amin kapag wala ka?"

I chuckled lightly, my heart swelling with appreciation. "Grabe, mamimiss ko kayong dalawa," sabi ko, habang yakap ko siya.

Nagulat ako sa bigat ng yakap ni Christine. "We'll make sure to keep you in the loop," Christine promised. "But it won't be the same without you here."

As I pulled away, I turned to Christian, who looked a bit more serious. "Take care of each other, okay? And don't forget to video call me. I want to see all the fun you're having while I'm gone."

"Deal," he said, giving me a thumbs-up. "But seriously, don't be a stranger. Bali is a long way, but we'll be cheering for you every step of the way."

After one last group hug, I made my way to the door, feeling a bittersweet mix of emotions. I took one last look around the condo that had been my home for so long, letting the memories wash over me. It was time to move forward, but leaving my friends behind felt like leaving a piece of my heart.

As I drove along the familiar roads to Bataan, memories flooded my mind—long drives with friends, late-night study sessions, and moments of laughter in the condo. The scenery of Bataan welcomed me with open arms, and I could already feel the stress of my busy life beginning to melt away. I took a deep breath, savoring the salty sea air as I approached our house.

When I finally arrived, I parked my car and got out, my heart fluttering with anticipation. Pagbukas ko ng gate, sinalubong ako agad nina Mommy at Daddy, kasama na ang kapatid kong si Mags.

"Ate Shan! Na-miss kita!" Mags exclaimed, her eyes lighting up with excitement as she rushed to embrace me. I felt a wave of warmth envelop me, easing the fatigue that had settled in my bones.

Natawa ako. Hindi naman kasi talaga sweet si Mags sa 'kin. Naiirita nga siya tuwing nilalambing ko siya. Pero dahil na-miss niya nga talaga ako, ayan tuloy siya, siya na ang naglalambing.

"Na-miss ko rin kayo. Sorry, sobrang busy," I replied, forcing a smile even though my body felt like it was made of lead.

"Baka naman masyado ka nang subsob doon sa trabaho. Tingnan mo, mukha kang pagod na pagod," Mommy Theresa said, her voice laced with concern. Her eyes scanned me, taking in the dark circles under my eyes and the weight I had lost.

"Nako, okay lang ako, Mommy. Busy lang talaga," I reassured her, but even I could hear the exhaustion creeping into my voice. "Saka, hindi na ako babalik doon, so lahat ng gamit ko nandito na."

"Good. At least mas makakapag-relax ka na dito sa bahay kahit ilang araw lang," Daddy Arman chimed in, peeking into the trunk of my car. "Kumusta naman ang trabaho mo?"

"Okay lang, Daddy. Grabe ang stress pero keri naman kasi nag-eenjoy naman ako sa ginagawa ko," I said, trying to put a positive spin on things. The last thing I wanted was to burden them with my worries. "May malaking ongoing project kami ngayon."

"Oh! Grabe ka na talaga, Ate. Bumawi ka ng kuwento ha," Mags said, her voice bubbling with enthusiasm.

I noticed the eagerness in her eyes, and it warmed my heart. I loved how they were always so supportive, ready to cheer me on no matter what. It reminded me of the bond we shared, a comforting thread that kept us connected, no matter how far I had drifted into my hectic work life.

As we started to unload my things, I felt a mix of joy and sadness. I was grateful to be home, surrounded by the people who loved me unconditionally, yet I couldn't shake off the weight of the past year. I had been so focused on my career that I often neglected the importance of taking time for myself and for them.

"Grabe, ang dami mong dala. Daig mo pa 'yong may pamilya," Mags teased, nudging me playfully.

As we moved inside the house, the comforting scent of home enveloped me. The walls held stories of our family, filled with laughter, tears, and unforgettable memories. I took a moment to breathe it all in, feeling the tension slowly dissolve.

We gathered in the living room, and I sank into the couch, grateful for the softness beneath me. "So, what have you all been up to?" I asked, genuinely interested in their lives.

Mags launched into a story about her college adventures, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm as she recounted her experiences. I listened, laughing at her animated expressions and feeling a sense of normalcy return to my life.

The more we talked, the more I realized how much I missed this—how much I missed them. I knew I had to find a balance between my work and my family. My heart swelled with love as I watched them, and I silently promised myself that I would make more time for the people who mattered most.

As the afternoon sun streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow on our family, I felt a sense of peace settle within me. I was home, and for now, that was enough.

After dinner, I found myself sipping a cold beer on the veranda, the evening air pleasantly cool against my skin. The sun had dipped below the horizon, leaving a twilight glow that made everything feel calm and serene. It was a welcome contrast to the whirlwind of emotions I'd been experiencing lately. Just as I settled into my thoughts, my mom joined me, a glass of wine in hand.

"Hey, Shan," sabi niya, ang boses niya ay malambot at parang may pag-aalinlangan. Ramdam ko ang biglang katahimikan na bumalot sa amin, parang may gustong sabihin ang Mommy ko pero hindi niya alam kung paano sisimulan.

"Kumusta kayo ni Daddy?" I finally ventured, breaking the stillness. It was a question I'd been wanting to ask, but the tension that lingered in the air made me dread her answer.

Natahimik bigla ang Mommy ko. Tumingin siya sa baso niya, at nakita ko ang pag-aalinlangan sa kanyang mga mata. Alam kong ayaw niyang ipasa sa akin ang mga alalahanin niya, lalo na tungkol kay Daddy. For as long as I could remember, I had been living in the shadows of their toxic marriage, caught between their arguments and the heaviness that filled our home.

I thought back to how I had felt like I could finally breathe when I started working at Eco Arc Design. The job brought me both a sense of purpose and a chance to escape the suffocating environment that had defined my childhood. Moving out and establishing my own life in Mandaluyong had been a crucial step in my journey toward healing. It was during that time that I learned to find joy and fulfillment outside the walls of my family home.

Now, sitting here with my mom, I could sense the weight of her unspoken thoughts. It was a reminder that even as I had moved forward, the past was never far behind.

"Sigurado ka ba sa Bali?" tanong niya, ang boses niya ay puno ng pag-aalala.

Tumango ako, sinisikap ipakita ang determinasyon ko. "Oo, Mommy. It's a good opportunity for me." Huminto ako, pinipili ang mga salita ko. "I think it's the best way for me to heal from...everything. The family drama that's been going on since I was a kid. I need to put some distance between myself and all of this to truly find myself."

Tumingin siya sa akin, ang mga mata niya ay puno ng halo-halong pag-aalala at pag-unawa. I could see the myriad of emotions swirling within her. My mother had always been the one to shoulder the burden of our family's issues, and I didn't want her to feel like she had to carry that weight alone anymore.

"I just want you to be happy, Shan," she said, her voice trembling slightly.

"I know, and I appreciate that, Mommy," I replied, reaching out to hold her hand. "This is my chance to focus on my career and myself. I promise I'll be okay."

My mom took a deep breath, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You've been so strong for us for so long, Shan," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "It's okay to let yourself be vulnerable now. You don't have to carry all that weight anymore."

I felt a lump form in my throat at her words. It was true; I had always been the one trying to hold everything together, to shield my family from the chaos that surrounded us. I had learned to bury my own feelings beneath a facade of strength, thinking it was what they needed. But now, as I sat with my mom, I realized how exhausting that had been.

"I guess I never really thought about it that way," I admitted, looking down at my beer, the condensation forming a small puddle on the table. "I've always felt like I had to be the strong one. I thought it was my responsibility to make things better for all of us."

My mother shook her head, a soft smile breaking through her worried expression. "Hindi mo responsibilidad na ayusin ang lahat, Shan. Karapatan mong alagaan ang sarili mo, maramdaman kung ano ang kailangan mong maramdaman. Okay lang na matakot, okay lang na hindi sigurado. Hindi mo kailangang magpanggap na okay ka palagi, lalo na sa akin."

Her words were a soothing balm to my weary heart. I realized that in my quest to support my family, I had neglected my own emotions. I had built walls around myself, convincing myself that vulnerability was a sign of weakness.

"I've just always wanted to protect you both from the mess," I confessed, my voice thick with emotion. "I didn't want you to worry about me."

"I appreciate that, but I think it's time for you to focus on what you need," she said gently, squeezing my hand. "You've spent so long putting us first that you deserve this chance to explore who you are away from all of this. Bali can be a new beginning for you—a place to breathe, to grow."

I nodded, her words resonating deep within me. Bali wasn't just an opportunity for my career; it was a chance to shed the burdens I had carried for too long. It was my time to step back from the expectations I had placed on myself and allow myself to be vulnerable—to explore my feelings without the weight of familial obligations looming over me.

"Thank you, Mommy," I said, my voice soft but filled with conviction. "I'm ready to let go of some of that weight and figure out who I am outside of all this."

Ngumiti siya, ang ginhawa ay bumuhos sa kanyang mukha. "I-promise mo sa akin na aalagaan mo ang sarili mo. It's okay to feel lost sometimes, just don't be afraid to seek help or talk about it."

"I promise," I replied, feeling a renewed sense of hope. As we sat together in the comforting glow of the evening, I knew that this was just the beginning. I was ready to embrace the journey ahead, not just for myself but for my family as well.

The night deepened around us, the stars twinkling overhead like little beacons of hope. I felt lighter somehow, knowing that I could be both strong and vulnerable. I could chase my dreams and still honor the love and connection I had with my family. It was time for me to step into the unknown, and I was finally ready to do so with an open heart.

Habang tahimik kaming nag-iinuman, bigla kong nabanggit kay Mommy na makakatrabaho ko si East sa Bali. Saglit siyang tumigil, tumingin sa akin na may ngiti sa mga labi. "That's great, anak. Finally, magkasama ulit kayo."

Hindi ko mapigilang magulat sa reaksyon niya. "Mommy, he hurt me, remember?" paalala ko, hindi makapaniwalang gano'n lang kasimple para sa kanya.

Tumango siya, pero hindi nawala ang pag-unawa sa mata niya. "Shan, hindi rin naman kasalanan ni East ang lahat ng iyon," sabi niya nang mahinahon.

Napatigil ako, hindi malaman ang isasagot. Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at hinawakan, saka sinabing, "It was nobody's fault. It was just...wrong timing."

_________

a/n: Wrong timing ba talaga? Eme. Thanks for reading ALH! Sa tingin niyo, bakit kaya nagkagano'n sina Shan at East? And what do you think about their reunion? Working for Bali? Anyway, I'll be posting Chapters 5-6 tomorrow. See you next update!