The morning sun streamed through the windows, casting a golden glow on the small kitchen as I moved around, flipping eggs and stirring the hangover soup simmering on the stove. The sizzle and pop of breakfast filled the air, mixing with the light, rhythmic clinking of utensils. Cam sat at the table, his hair disheveled, looking up at me with a sheepish grin that I'd seen a thousand times before. It was the grin of someone who had no idea the mess he'd caused.

"Man, that smells amazing, Shan," Cam said, stretching his arms above his head. He was acting like any other morning after a night out, oblivious to the chaos he'd unknowingly stirred up.

"Yeah," I replied tersely, keeping my eyes fixed on the stove. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, not after last night. The memory of his slurred confession echoed in my mind, and the frustration bubbled up in me like the soup I was trying so hard not to burn.

Parang naamoy ni Cam ang pagbabago sa aking mood, ang kanyang ngiti ay naglaho habang pinapanood akong gumalaw sa paligid ng kusina nang matalim at maingat. "Okay ka lang?" tanong niya, may bahid ng pag-aalala sa tono ng boses niya.

"Bakit naman hindi?" I said, the sarcasm biting through my words as I turned to set his breakfast in front of him. The clatter of the plate against the table was louder than I intended, and I winced internally.

Napakunot ang noo ni Cam, lalong lumalim ang pagkalito sa kanyang mga mata habang nakatitig siya sa akin. "Galit ka ba sa akin? May ginawa ba ako kagabi?"

Tinitigan ko siya, nararamdaman kong unti-unti nang nawawala ang aking pasensya. Talaga bang hindi niya naaalala? The frustration I'd been holding in threatened to burst. Humigop ako nang malalim na hininga, sinisikap na kontrolin ang sarili ko. "Hindi, Cam," sabi ko sa wakas, tipid ang mga salita ko. "Wala kang ginawa."

The lie hung between us, obvious and painful. He watched me for a moment longer, his expression shifting from confusion to hurt as he picked at the eggs on his plate.

"Shan, I know when something's up with you," sabi niya nang mahinahon, sinira ang katahimikan. "Just tell me what's wrong."

I looked at him, really looked at him, and all I saw was the years we'd spent as best friends—the laughter, the arguments, the nights he drove me home safely. And now, the secret that had lain dormant between us for so long, clawing its way to the surface. The truth was, I wasn't just angry. I was hurt. Because if he'd just told me how he felt, maybe everything would have been different. Maybe I wouldn't be standing here now, nursing a heart that felt bruised from all directions.

"Ayokong pag-usapan," sabi ko, iniiwas ang aking mukha sa kanya at abala sa paghuhugas ng mga pinggan. Ang tunog ng umaagos na tubig ay pumuno sa katahimikan, at naramdaman ko ang bigat ng kanyang titig na parang pinipiga ang aking likod.

Cam let out a sigh, the kind that spoke of surrender. "Alright, Shan," he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "But whenever you're ready, I'm here."

And with that, the kitchen fell silent, the only sound the steady drip of water and the beating of my own heart, heavy with everything unsaid.

It was a bit of an odd day, to be honest. The kind where silence hangs between you and a friend, and you're left with nothing but the weight of your own thoughts. Today, I gave Cam a tour—something I was happy to do, but something about it just felt off. Maybe it was because of the pain still lingering in my leg from the injury, or the exhaustion that crept up on me as the hours went by. I had let Cam drive. I still wasn't in the best shape to be behind the wheel, and honestly, I was grateful for the rest.

He drove us around, taking in the sights of the city while I stared out the window, my thoughts a million miles away. I wasn't even paying attention to the usual landmarks that popped up—maybe I should've been, considering it was a day to enjoy. But all I could focus on was... well, everything.

I guess Cam noticed. It didn't take long before the quiet stretched too far, and he couldn't hold back anymore. Naramdaman ko na lumipat ang kanyang tingin sa akin, marahil ay naramdaman ang pagbabago sa hangin. "Okay ka lang?" tanong niya, ang boses niya magaan pero may bahid ng pag-aalala.

Hindi ako sumagot agad. Ano namang sasabihin ko? Na halos hindi ko na kayang pigilan ang sarili ko? Na naguguluhan ako dahil sa mga sinabi niya kagabi? Ewan ko ba. Hindi ko rin maintindihan ang sarili ko, kaya nanahimik na lang ako. The kind of silence that says everything without saying anything at all.

When we arrived at the restaurant, I thought maybe a change of scenery would shake me out of it. We sat down, the conversation flowing in the background, but it was mostly him talking, asking questions about the site, the project. As I chewed on my food, trying to focus on something other than my spiraling thoughts, he took a breath, ready to press on.

"I remember when you were the first to know I wanted to go to architecture school," Cam said suddenly. The words broke through the haze of my own thoughts, and I turned to look at him. He seemed a little hesitant but smiled softly, like he was pulling from a distant memory. "Before anyone else. I told you first."

I could feel my chest tighten. "Oo naalala ko," I said quietly. "You were so sure. It's hard to believe you almost didn't take that leap."

Cam leaned back in his chair, the air between us shifting into something more familiar now, something warmer. "It's crazy, right?" Huminto siya sandali, pagkatapos ay tumingin sa akin, ang kanyang ekspresyon ay lumambot. "I thought my career was over when I got injured in high school. I couldn't play basketball anymore, and I thought... well, that was it. I thought everything was over."

Gusto kong abutin ang kanyang kamay sa kabila ng mesa, pero alam kong hindi iyon ang tamang sandali para doon. Sa halip, patuloy akong nakikinig, tulad ng lagi kong ginagawa kapag nagsasalita si Cam tungkol sa mga bagay na pinakamahalaga sa kanya.

"I saw you, Shan," he continued. "You were exhausted, I could tell, but you were genuinely happy in architecture school. No matter what went wrong, you still loved it. And that... that inspired me." He paused, a small chuckle escaping his lips. "I realized I had skills. I wasn't just a basketball player. I just never paid attention to anything else."

I could feel the smile tugging at my lips. Cam had always been the kind of person who felt things deeply, but he wasn't the type to voice them often. Hearing him share this with me, I felt like I was finally getting a glimpse of his heart.

He looked at me then, his eyes locking with mine, and I could see the sincerity there. "I'm glad I made the choice. I'm finally graduating next semester... and it's all thanks to you. You showed me there were other options. I owe you a lot for that, Shan."

Ang bigat ng kanyang mga salita ay bumagsak sa akin, at sa loob ng isang segundo, tinitigan ko lang siya, sinusubukang hanapin ang tamang sagot. But all I could do was smile, feeling a warmth spread through my chest. "Masaya ako na nando'n ako para sa 'yo, lalo na no'ng mga panahong 'yon," I whispered. "Honestly, you were one of the reasons I made it through architecture school. You were there when things were falling apart for me—especially with my dad."

It wasn't easy to say, but it felt right. Cam had been there. Through everything. "I never wanted to lose you, Cam. And I... I want to keep you forever."

The words left me before I could stop them, and I immediately felt my heart racing. This was it. It was out there now.

His eyes widened, surprise flickering in them before he softened. "Shan... I—"

And then, as if the dam had burst, I took a deep breath, steadying myself. "I've fallen in love with you," I confessed, my voice quiet but firm. "I've been in love with you for so long, but I... I didn't want to risk our friendship."

Ang katahimikan na sumunod ay makapal, nakakabingi. Ramdam ko ang mga salitang nakabitin sa hangin, at tila bumigat ang aking pag-amin sa pagitan namin, wala sa amin ang sigurado kung paano magpapatuloy. Cam didn't speak at first, just staring at me as though trying to make sense of what I had just said.

But then, he exhaled deeply, his gaze softening as he leaned forward, his voice low. "I feel the same way, Shan."

My breath caught in my throat, and before I knew it, tears started to spill from my eyes. "You're the only guy I could be with all day, all night, and not even try to... get in my pants." I said it, not holding back. "I feel safe with you. I've never felt that with anyone else. I could never feel that with anyone else."

I wiped my eyes, but the tears kept coming. "But now... my heart belongs to East." The words stung as they left my lips. "I can't help it. I don't know what happened, but I fell for him."

Natahimik si Cam nang matagal, hindi ko mabasa ang mukha niya. "I get it, Shan. I do."

But that didn't stop the ache inside me, the one that made me want to scream at myself for not being able to tell my heart to fall for him again. Kung gano'n lang sana kadali.

But it wasn't. And I knew it.

"I really loved you, Cam," I said again, my voice breaking. "I just... I don't know how to fix this."

This was the conversation I had been avoiding for years. The one that I never quite knew how to navigate. But here we were, sitting across from each other, finally admitting things we'd both been holding inside for far too long.

Cam's eyes searched mine, full of hope and vulnerability. Matapos ang lahat ng sinabi ko, lahat ng inamin ko, sa wakas ay nagtanong siya, ang tanong na tila mabigat sa hangin, "Am I too late?"

Hindi ko siya matignan sa mata habang dahan-dahan akong tumango. There was no easy way to say it, no kinder way to soften the blow. "You know how in love I am with East," I said softly, the weight of it pressing on me again. My heart ached with the truth of it. It wasn't fair to either of us, and it wasn't something I could change.

Cam exhaled sharply, his expression darkening for a moment, before he softened. He was quiet for a long time before speaking again, his voice quieter this time. "That's why it killed me, Shan. When I saw you crying over him last year..." He paused, swallowing hard. "It hurt me to see you hurt like that."

I swallowed, pushing the lump in my throat down, trying to find the words that wouldn't cause more pain. "Hindi ko ginustong makita mo 'yon. I never wanted to drag you into this," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

Tumingin si Cam sa akin, ang kanyang mukha ay hindi mabasa, bago siya muling nagsalita. "But maybe...maybe we could try dating? Subukan lang natin. Alam kong hindi madali, but I want you to know I'm here. I've always been here."

I smiled at him, but it was bittersweet. "Cam, I know you would be an amazing boyfriend. You're already a great friend. But... you and I both know the truth, don't we?" Tumingin ako sa mesa, hindi sigurado kung kaya ko na namang tingnan ang kanyang mga mata. "We know each other's flaws too well. Really well. At alam nating pareho na takot tayo sa commitment. We're both busy with our own careers. We're both chasing our dreams. I can't—" I stopped, choking on the words, the fear of losing him too much to bear. "Hindi ko kayang isugal, Cam. Not with how things are right now. I'm afraid I'd hurt you, especially with East around. I can't do that to you. I'd never want to hurt you. You're my best friend."

Tahimik si Cam sandali, pero nakita ko ang pag-unawa sa kanyang mga mata. Ang kanyang mga labi ay piniga sa isang manipis na linya bago siya tumango, ang kanyang mukha ay lumambot, kahit na may sakit sa kanyang ekspresyon. "I respect that, Shan. I do. If anyone can understand you, it's me. I always have." He took a breath, as though finding some kind of peace within the chaos of everything. "And I'm glad we had this talk, honestly. At least it's out in the open now."

I smiled weakly at him, but I felt a deep sadness settle in my chest. "You'll find someone better than me, Cam. Someone who deserves you. Someone who can give you the kind of love you deserve. You're amazing, and you're so genuine. I know that."

He shook his head, his eyes searching mine. "Hindi ko naman kailangan ng iba, Shan. You've always been enough for me." He paused before adding with a small grin, "Kaso napakabagal ko. Ngayon lang ako umamin. Oh 'di ba, ilang taon 'yong inabot. Torpe eh, t*ngina. Sorry naman." 

That made me laugh, and for a brief moment, the heaviness of the conversation lifted, just enough for us to breathe.

"Best friends forever?" I asked, the words tasting bittersweet in my mouth.

Cam's eyes softened, and he grinned that familiar grin that always made my heart skip. "Of course. Forever," he said, holding out his hand. "But give me some time, alright? I need to get over you first."

We both laughed, and in that moment, I realized that while everything between us had changed, there was still that undeniable bond we shared. The kind of friendship that wouldn't easily break, no matter how many twists and turns we took.

____

a/n: Caaaammmm :( Anyways, tuloy ang buhay. Eme. Haha! Next update will be tomorrow! :) Yes po, daily updates tayo palagi. Naka-ready naman na sa drafts ko ang next chaptersss. :)