11/20/2058

I don't know why I'm writing in this damn thing but I am. They told me this can help me express myself but all it does is keep my memories in them. I've been in this Asylum for over a month now. I know what I did was wrong and I don't know what came over me to do that to my father but I did it. I'm only 9 years old at the time and they can't put me in jail. So they sent me here.

Every day I hear people screaming for their lives or crying saying that they are not supposed to be here. I meet one guy named Manson. He was bullied every day for having girl hair in school. I was shocked to hear that he wasn't a girl a first but then got over it.

He told me he would tell his parents and they got the school involved. But nothing changed. He would cry and run away from the other kids afraid that he was about to get picked on. He tried cutting his own hair. That just made it worse.

They thought he was losing his mind so they sent him to the Asylum. Come to find out the school only told his parents what they wanted to hear and let the kids pick on him. This world can be cruel sometimes. I know I killing my father was wrong and I'm paying for it. But all they had to do was stop the bullying at the school and he could have lived a normal life. But they didn't.

He's been here for over a year now. He barely talks. He likes to stay in his room but the doctors and nurses dragged him out. Sometimes by the hair. He doesn't do anything to anyone but they forced him to take medicine.

They forced it on all of us. Half of the people here don't belong here but people like me do, I think. I don't like it here. If I could take back what I did to my father I would. If I never would have blacked out and done it maybe I would have been with my family on Thanksgiving. I never thought I would feel this way.

I was told once I turn 18 I'm going to prison. After spending time in this place.

I can't wait.

06/01/2060

I'm back to writing in this damn book. This time I'm pissed off. I've been here for two years now minding my own damn business but what they did three days ago to me is driving me up the fucking wall. This is what happens and read well because I want you to remember this Ember.

Three days go I made a new friend at during lunch. Her name is Beth. She was born in this Asylum. She never left this place before. Her mother was a patient and her father was a doctor, I think. Anyway, we were talking in the lunchroom and I asked the lunch lady... well man for more soup. He yelled at me to leave him alone. Doctors came over and pulled me out of the room.

I was later dragged into this underground building and strapped to this table. There was another girl in this chair strapped down. I'm not sure if she was sleeping or dead. A few doctors surrounded me with masks on. They told me I was harassing the lunch man. I said no I was trying to get more to eat. They told me I need to calm down and stop fighting. How can I fight when I was strapped to the table? I told them I won't ask again please let me go.

They told me I need to stop talking to the voices in my head. I don't have voices. They put tape on my mouth and held my nose. One man took out this needle thing that doctors use and put it in my neck. It stung. I don't deserve this, no one does. They pulled it out, pinched my nose and put one in my chest saying that this is to help me sleep. I tried to breath through my mouth but that was soon covered. After a while, the man let my nose and mouth go and they all backed away from me. I fell asleep.

When I came to I was in my room with no clothing on, face down in my own vomit which made me throw up. I looked around for my clothing and found them in the hallway. After getting dressed I walked around and saw Beth outside. I asked her what happened she told me I was out cold for three days. I looked around and saw some of the doctors that drugged me licking their lips as if I was a snack.

They took advantage of me. I don't deserve any of this. I was minding my own business and they did this to me because I asked for more food. I hate this place. I can't wait till I'm 18 and can go to prison. The staff here is fucking sick. I've done nothing to no one since I've been here. They all remind me of my father. Always forcing me to do things I don't want to do or blaming me for things I didn't do. All of them... just like him deserve to die.

06/02/2060

They forced me to take more medication that I don't need. This one didn't knock me out but I was light headed for a few hours. I don't need this medicine but they gave it to me.

06/03/2060

Once again I was forced to take medication I don't need. I've decided to try and calm down but being forced to take medication I don't need is driving me crazy. It's like they are trying to kill me. I found out they are doing the same thing to other patients here. Some people think they are trying to kill them as well. If that's true then I have to get them before they get me.

06/04/2060

Again forced to take medicine but this time I was very tired. I used all of my strength to stay awake. I knew they had something planned for me because one of the doctors was watching me thru the door for the past three hours. I won't let them do that to me again.