pâro (n)
the feeling that everything you do is wrong

______

we were clutching at each other in the darkness.
trying to not feel so alone while simultaneously sinking deeper into ourselves,
away from the world around us.
loneliness oozed from our skin like a musk.
attractive, but only to the predators of the weak.
we were so eager to feel that we decided to feel nothing.
our pâro no longer something we despised,
we already knew we were outcasts,
we were so dead set against anything that wasn't insomnia, or drugs or lust.
hungry mouths and eager cold fingers,
fondling each other in the dark.
making sounds we thought we were supposed to make while faking the rush.
truth is we were lost to the world.
and to each other.