occhiolism (n)
the awareness of the smallness of your perspective in the grandness of the vast scope of the universe.

______

it's true,
when your world ends.
the world around you keeps spinning.
and it feels like shit.
i lost the boy I loved to the girl I told my secrets to.
yet the next day the birds still sang and the bus still came to the bus stop.

my aunt got diagnosed with breast cancer.
when I heard the news,
I wondered why people outside still smiled.
why me teachers continued to teach when obviously my world was crumbling around me.

it was as if nobody could tell,
like my individual tragedies weren't big enough.
when in reality to me,
they seemed like black holes...
big and dark and endless.

that was before,
before I realized that trains don't stop when a girl on board gets the news that her aunt died.
and ex boyfriend and ex best friends still smile at each other even though they can't even look you in the eye.

all that was before I realized the vastness of the world around me.
Firstly there's the unknown,
then there's what we know,
and then there are stars,
five majestic planets before we get to mine.
even then there are billions of living things,
after that there are billions of people.
imagine being only one.
one small speck.

I'm just too tiny to make such a big impact.
after all, the show must go on.