dès vu (n)
the awareness that this will become a  memory

______

a huge part of me wondered what it would be like,
if it was him looking up at the stars and questioning the universe with me instead of you.
and I remember glancing at you while you talked your half poetic bullshit.
that may or may not make sense after I had laid in bed thinking about it.
and I didn't have to wonder anymore.
it wasn't him, and i didn't want it to be.
in that moment the dés vu was palpable ,
i welcomed it with open arms.
this was something I wanted to remember forever.