A/N: I got a job 3(ish) weeks ago and I started school again 6 weeks ago, so oopsie for me not time managing my hobbies into everything else. (Updates hopefully every other Tuesday now btw)

Eleanor and a few other sixth-year Slytherins ride on the carriages from the train to Hogwarts together. The thestrals made Eleanor feel crazy, so she tried not to look at them. Her second year at Hogwarts she thought she was going mad when she saw them pulling the carriages. No one listened to her when she spoke of what she saw, not until she told Professor Snape about it. He told her the thestrals can only be seen to those who have seen someone pass away. She stopped talking about the thestrals after that.

Cassius Warrington and Ophelia Hart sat next to Eleanor, their bodies all crammed together. Across from them sat Adrian Pucey, Miles Bletchley, and Yvette Burke. The two seats that faced away from the castle were taken by Sullivan Fawley and Kathleen Mirrs, who were very taken with one another. Yvette had told practically all of Slytherin house that Kathleen and Sullivan had started dating over the summer. Eleanor said nothing. She wasn't very close with Kathleen and she was sure that Kathleen would not like that Yvette was telling everyone about her business, even if she was being extremely obvious.

They giggled as they watched the first years going across the lake on the boats. They laughed especially hard when one of the boats became noticeably wobbly and screams echoed through the forest from the lake. Every year something like that happened, and every year, they laughed. In Eleanor's first year, she got sat with the Weasley twins and Alicia Spinnet. Eleanor's boat was the only one that almost tipped over, and while Eleanor and Alicia briefly screamed, the Weasley twins burst out into laughter.

It was busy going into the castle and even busier trying to get into the Great Hall. Eleanor became invisible in the crowd, weaving in and out from groups of students and found herself seated in the sixth-year section of the Slytherin table. She sat with her back to the wall, watching students pour into the Great Hall. There was still twenty minutes before the first years would come in to be sorted, so students generally mingled around their tables or walked around the room with their friends.

Eleanor watched her friends carefully; Selena and Henrietta were chatting excited with some of the seventh-year Hufflepuffs. Elowyn ran around with a group of the more rowdy students, mostly Gryfffindors. Hardly anyone made eye contact with her, opting to give her a glare before turning away. She never did anything to anyone, just keeping to herself, but her social death sentence had been served when the hat said "Slytherin!"

Not many people wanted to associate with a Slytherin, especially not a pureblood Slytherin from France with a family that hardly anyone had heard of. Eleanor would've been worse off if everyone knew she was a Nott. It was better that Auguste and Nadine had adopted her, she was better with the Bernard name attached to her. Even if her blood called her to the Nott family. Even if she was the rightful Lady of House Nott. She was better off not acknowledging her birth or her father, or even brother.

Did he remember her? The boy was in her house, they shared a common room for Merlin's sake. Eleanor often found herself wondering if her brother remembered her, or he thought he'd imagined her as a figment of his imagination.

Her thoughts were pulled from her as someone sat next to her. It was Liliana. "Hey," Eleanor said softly, tearing her eyes away from the rest of the room and turning to face Liliana. "How was the train?"

Liliana shrugged. "It was alright. What about you? I thought you'd join my sister and I in our compartment?"

"The open compartment? You know I prefer the small ones. More private, better to sleep in." Eleanor replied.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. How many do you think are going to be sorted into each house this year? Every year the number of students coming in just gets lower and lower." Liliana said, turning her attention to the sea of students. Most were beginning to sit down at their house tables with their year. Slytherin house was entirely put together in their designated spots.

"I don't know," Eleanor said softly. As the time went on from the war, the student body at Hogwarts became smaller and smaller. The first year that it was noticeable, many younger students questioned why that could be. The older students informed them of the horrifying truth. So many young folks had died in the war, either before they could get married and have children, or before they could make it out of Hogwarts. Some took vows to never have children. Others were unable to produce healthy babies. The wizarding world was suffering from many illnesses. The illnesses of the mind and body. Blood curses and dark magic ate away at the bodies of many witches.

Soon, the students settled in and, after Professor Dumbledore quieted them down, the first years were brought in by Professor McGonagall. Eleanor briefly wondered when exactly it was that she'd grown up so much. Those kids were so little compared to her, compared to Theodore.

She sat silently and watched the first years get sorted. The first years looked so little with the sorting hat on top of their heads. Some looked so nervous, others looked confident. One little boy kept rubbing his palms up his sides from what Eleanor could see. She saw a ginger haired boy and wondered to herself if there were any more Weasley children. What was the girl Weasley's name, again? Jenny?

Liliana leaned into Eleanor and whispered: "What do you think about the boy that got sorted into Slytherin?"

Eleanor hummed in confusion. "What? I wasn't paying attention."

She looked down the table and saw six boys who had gotten sorted into her house. Only two girls sat at the end of the table. Eleanor could not tell which of the boys Liliana had been asking about. She also could not decipher why Liliana would want her opinion on the boy.

Liliana did not ask Eleanor any more questions during the sorting. Ophelia Hart sat across from Eleanor, tapping her finger incessantly against the wooden table. Eleanor wanted to reach across the table and grab Ophelia's hand, forcing her to stop, but she knew it couldn't be done. Not during the start of term feast. Instead, Eleanor gently kicked Ophelia's foot under the table.

Ophelia, who did not appreciate the brunette kicking her, gave Eleanor a nasty glare. "Watch it, Bernard." She said under her breath.

Eleanor gave her a scowl in return, not willing to fight with Ophelia before the feast had even started. Ophelia wasn't worth the risk of Professor Snape chewing them both out.

Professor Dumbledore announced the next Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, who was ex-Auror Alastor Moody. There was something about Moody that made Eleanor nervous. Maybe it was his whirling eye or his weird tick when he licked his lips. Or perhaps it was that his eyes had turned from somewhere at the Gryffindor table right to her. He made her feel afraid.

Eleanor did not care when Dumbledore said there would be a tournament in which only students of legal age could participate. She did care when he announced that quidditch would be done away with for this term.

There were many students who took up into angry, defensive mouthing-offs. Eleanor, also angry about losing quidditch, could not bring herself to stay present. Instead, the loud thoughts of other students filled her head. Some voices she knew very well, like Cassius. He felt extreme relief, but also guilt. He didn't want anyone to know that he wanted a break from quidditch.

Eleanor heard Hermione Granger's voice as clear as a shout. Granger's opinions of the matter differed greatly from the majority of the school. She was thrilled for no quidditch, but outraged by the idea of the tournament. She sounded so stuck up in her thoughts, it made Eleanor want to jinx her. Eleanor hated Granger most of the time. She was so damn annoying.

So many thoughts and feelings swirled around Eleanor's mind, clouding her own thoughts. She would need to practice fortifying the walls that guarded her thoughts from the thoughts of others. She always needed to spend a while practicing her fortification after coming back to Hogwarts.

Eleanor, like many other Slytherins, faced ridicule right from the start of term. Some students already started fighting with others, some could not handle the ridicule and hid away in quiet spots in the castle. Eleanor found solace in the library; Madam Pince would not allow for boisterous students to come in and disturb her peace. The library came to be Eleanor's solace very early on in her schooling, and she'd be a damned-fool to turn from its sanctuary now. It happened to be the only place the Weasley twins could not enter in the whole castle.

The only place that was strictly enforced for their non-admission, actually. Filch could not keep those two out of the hallways and classrooms that were not to be used by students. Madam Pince was stern and did not let those two anywhere near the library unless exams were coming up, and even then, she was hesitant.

Eleanor took to checking out as many books as she could about alchemy, ancient runes, and herbology. Those were some of the classes she was signed up to take and they happened to be the ones she struggled with most. She'd never taken alchemy before, so that was new territory to her, but runes and herbology seemed to be the only classes that she struggled with. She had a natural talent for potions and divination. She could read palms and cards with ease, and tea leaves formed images for her. Potions were an exact science that she came to perfect. Sometimes she needed to add more or less of an ingredient and it yielded a better result than normal. She was exceptionally talented in her craft according to most of her professors.

Her spellwork was good, too. Sometime around the end of her fourth year, McGonagall and Flitwick caught her using wandless magic and had her put into tutoring for it. McGonagall would never admit it to anyone, but Eleanor was one of her best pupils. She was extraordinarily gifted, despite her sentence to Slytherin house.

But that was not to say that Eleanor did not belong there. She could be quite the troublemaker. When aggravated, Eleanor was known to lash out and became a force to be reckoned with. She was smart and well versed in how to get away with her deeds. There were times that her teachers suspected her of having jinxed a student or two, but with her flawless use of wordless and wandless magic, it was untraceable.

Eleanor would've been upset about Granger cutting her off in the corridor outside the library, but she found that waiting for Granger to be considerate of a Slytherin would take a millennia. Perhaps forever. She waited several minutes after Granger's entrance to the library before following her in. She needed to find an alchemy book written by Nicolas Flammel. He was one of the greatest alchemists in all of wizarding history, so Eleanor figured it would be best to learn from him. Indirectly for now, directly if possible in the future.

Quietly, or as quiet as she could be, Eleanor found a table in the back corner, opposite to the restricted section. She liked to sit alone. It drew less attention to her, made it so anyone who found her had to go through every section to find her. In the back corner that she made hers, there were mostly arithmancy and ancient runes texts. Some were sacred, only able to be read by families of the most noble houses.

The House of Nott was technically a noble house, but they were hardly ever acknowledged. The Notts were not nearly as old as the Malfoys or the Blacks. The Prince family and Peverell family were both completely gone. The Gaunts too, but no one wanted to acknowledge the diminishing numbers of noble families. The Longbottoms were considered blood traitors, and so were the Weasleys, not that the sane ones agreed.

Eleanor's French family were not considered to be noble, but were one of the oldest families in France. The Bernards were one of the governing families of the French witching government and paid large sums to Beauxbatons. Bernard children were hardly ever given harsh treatment, they could kill someone and go without punishment. Cosette's children would probably have the same treatment. The pure children were always better to keep happy—happy children resulted in happy parents. Happy parents liked to contribute to the schools.

It was rare to see a healthy noble child, though. The Weasleys made it look normal—easy. The Notts struggled to have their healthy young, as did many other Sacred Twenty-Eight and noble families. Eleanor was a miracle.

But even miracles could be lost ladies of their houses. Lost lords and lost heirs. Sirius Black was the infamous warning to pureblooded noble children. To be a Sirius was to be damned. To an Andromeda was to be damned. To be Eleanor was cursed.

It was true. Eleanor had been cursed. The sigils that marked her skin told stories of damnation. She was cursed. Her eyes were blinded to power. Her power would diminish as her life continued—the House of Nott would take her power slowly. No witch or wizard could ever hold onto her power or use it, her power would simply strengthen the bond between the family and the estate. Her power could not recognise others. Usually, noble families can feel the power of others—feel the pull towards powerful forces. Hundreds of years ago, wizards found their wives from the pull of powerful magics. It was tradition—the stronger the magic felt, the better the match.

It was a noble pureblood thing. Noble purebloods had the ability inherently. The ability was a common reason for the discrimination against muggleborns. They didn't know what it felt like to feel magic like purebloods did.

But Eleanor was just as in the dark as any muggleborn or halfblood. She couldn't feel power like a physical force, she couldn't taste magic. She was an anomaly. Damned be the hands that cursed her.

Some of the sigils that marked her skin were in her books. She was always searching through the pages of the library's books. All she knew about the curse was whatever sigils she could decipher. Eleanor's curse had conditions she could not read—sigils she could not find in any book. She would die before she knew what they meant.

Eleanor had been in and out of the library for days before the term started. Tuesday would be her slowest day. She had what seemed like too many open periods. Too many revisions sessions to fill the void of her classes. Monday was Study of Ancient Runes, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Potions. Tuesday, to her dismay, had her least favourite class—Herbology. She could not figure out what to do with anything. Wednesday was History of Magic and Charms. Thursday was Divination and Alchemy—which she truly felt she would be fine with. Finally, to conclude her week, she had Transfiguration and Astronomy.

The morning of the first day of classes, Liliana sat next to Eleanor at breakfast. "So?" She asked.

"So what?" Eleanor asked back.

"What's your timetable?" Eleanor slid it over to her. "Damn!" Liliana cursed. "We've only got our core classes."

"Are you even taking extra classes?" Eleanor joked.

Liliana gave Eleanor a light shove and scoffed. "Yeah . . . I mean, only Divination and Astronomy." Liliana bit her lip. "In the spring, I'll be taking the apparition course, too," she added on.

Eleanor smiled a little, but couldn't respond as her head whipped down towards the end of the table. Draco Malfoy and his little goons were picking on a group of first years. It was the first day and it was barely even the start of breakfast. Her eyes snagged on the brunette boy beside Malfoy. Theodore.

His eyes met hers, too, but he gave her a glare and looked back at the first years. Eleanor and Liliana turned away from Malfoy and his goons. They knew that it didn't really matter what they did, but from a societal standpoint, they could not see their other friends in the Great Hall. Despite Henrietta and Selena looking up from their own table to see where Eleanor and Liliana were sat, they would not truly acknowledge one another.

Breakfast was quick for Eleanor. Liliana would stay for all of the breakfast period as it was a social hour for her. Eleanor was to meet with the others in her friend group in the second floor corridor. There were a bunch of unused classrooms on that floor. The school was too small to be able to accommodate using those classrooms—too little students, so never more than enough staff. It was the perfect spot for students to gather. Students could be as discreet as they pleased.

Eleanor waited patiently for her friends. Acquaintances passed her by, greeting her. Younger classmates, mostly Slytherins, asked her questions as she passed them, and she answered them as quickly as she could. It wasn't that she was in a hurry, she just didn't want to talk to anyone. Eleanor could be classified as being antisocial with how much she did not like talking to others most days.

Henrietta arrived first. "Hello, Eleanor." They embraced one another in a hug, Henrietta pulling away quickly. "Divination on Thursday?"

"Yeah!" Eleanor exclaimed. "Here's my timetable," she said, passing Hen her timetable.

Hen took it gently. "Divination, astronomy and—hey! Hufflepuff and Slytherin have Herbology and Transfiguration together."

Eleanor opened her mouth to respond, but before she could get a word out, Maggie came sprinting down the corridor, nearly knocking into Eleanor and Henrietta.

"I've brought with me the gift of my timetable," Maggie said eagerly, proudly showing off her schedule. "Read it and weep, ladies. Best schedule, I'm sure that Granger will be jealous when she gets to her sixth year."

Eleanor snatched it from her hands, reading over it as quick as she could. Slytherin and Ravenclaw had Charms together. Henrietta leaned over Eleanor's shoulder. "Oh! You and Selena have Arithmancy, and Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw have Potions, Defensive Against the Dark Arts, and History of Magic together."

Elowyn and Selena came running down the corridor next, stopping before they could topple into the group. "Timetables are here!" Elowyn said and the two pulled out their pages of parchment. The girls aligned their pages, some squinting between each line. "Oh! Eleanor, we've got Potions and Defensive Against the Dark Arts! Wait, we have Runes, too!"

Eleanor and Elowyn shared a smile. The girls continued sharing which classes they had together, excited that they would have at least one of their close friends in each class. The only actual class that Eleanor had by herself was Alchemy, which terrified her. And of course, none of her revisions periods lined up with any of her friends either.

The school's intercom came over the speakers, interrupting whatever conversation the girls had gotten up to. Lee Jordan's voice sounded so much louder than it needed to be, and Jordan knew this, but still wanted to do his crazy announcements.

"Good morning, Hogwarts staff and students! Just a reminder for students and staff, first period will be starting in twenty minutes. First years, your house prefects are available to you for help finding your classes. Third years through seventh years, reminder: do not forget to attend your elective classes and revisions periods. Sixth and seventh years, this week you will be meeting with your Head of House to discuss your futures. For any further questions, find a professor, prefect, or Head Boy or Head Girl! Thanks for tuning into the Lee Jordan Howarts Morning Announcements! Have an awesome day!" He sounded less enthusiastic than normal, Eleanor noted.

The announcements ended and the girls decided it was time to split ways. Elowyn and Eleanor walked to their Runes class together, happily chatting. Kenneth Towler joined them about halfway through their walk. Apparently, his entire timetable lined up perfectly with Elowyn's. Eleanor wanted to roll her eyes and say "of course," but that would be unbecoming of her.

Instead, she smiled and started up a conversation with Kenneth. "So, Kenneth, are you planning on taking the apparition lessons in the spring?" Eleanor was one of very few in her year that she knew of taking the lessons at the end of term.

"Yeah, my mum's forcing me, even though I'd rather wait until next year. She thinks it's best for me to learn now since I'll be coming of age in June." Kenneth said, rolling his eyes. "It's stupid," he mumbled under his breath.

Eleanor and Elowyn gave one another barely-held back smiles. Elowyn looked as if she were going to burst out into fits of laughter, breathing deeply at an attempt to stop herself. Eleanor was more stoic though. She always was. Showing how she felt never truly felt like an option, the feeling of fear perpetually hanging over her.

Her father be damned. The curses she'd cast on him if she could. But she would never be free of her curse and she would still be the Lady of House Nott. Eleanor wished her father dead for how afraid he'd made her. She felt like she were a pink-bellied snake, never able to move on to the in-blue stage of life, or rather, her full shed. She felt as though she could never grow. Forevermore, a child meant to die.

Eleanor sat through Ancient Runes idly, her mind seemingly in a far off place. Everything came to her in waves, her mind dipping in and out of Professor Babbling's first lecture. She knew that she should've been paying closer attention, after all, the class had five required textbooks, but she couldn't stop her worrying. She felt watched and did not like it. Not one bit.

With fifteen minutes left of Babbling's lesson, Eleanor's focus honed in on a strange feeling. She felt as though someone was watching her, but when she looked around, no one was looking at her. Not even Babbling was looking in her direction. Eleanor found herself looking at each of the students skeptically. Maybe, it was all in Eleanor's head, but perhaps it wasn't. The sigils that ran down her spine tingled and she fought back a shiver.

"Now, Mister Diggory, can you tell me what it is I just said?" Professor Babbling suddenly asked, a certain coldness in her tone that pulled Eleanor from the depths of her mind.

Eleanor's eyes dragged over the room, looking for Cedric Diggory. She found him quickly, his guilty, shocked face revealing just how chatty he'd been. Sitting next to him, Albie Reynolds, a sixth-year Ravenclaw, tried miserably to hide his own equally guilty and shocked face.

"I, um," He stated, his smile wiped clean from his face now. "I . . . "

"Thank you, Mister Diggory. That is more than enough." Babbling went on with her introductory lesson for the next couple minutes, trying to emphasize the attention required for this course.

As soon as Babbling released the class to go wherever they needed to go next, Eleanor was out of the room, walking down the corridor as fast as she could. She needed to get far from the feeling of being watched, far far away. That room gave her a weird sense of unease the more she thought about it, the sense that something horrible was going to happen to her.

In the time between her Potions class and her revisions period, Eleanor met with Professor Snape. She didn't think that her career meeting would be so soon in the term, but she supposed it made sense that Snape chose to have his first career meeting of the term with her. Her surname put her right at the top of his list.

"Miss Bernard," Snape drawled out. "Sit." She did as she was told, crossing her legs as soon as she settled in her chair. "Are you fully aware of your options?"

Eleanor pressed her thumb over her palm, anxiety coursing through her. "Yes, sir. I believe that I have every resource for a career in alchemic research. Is there anything that you think I'm missing? Any coursework required that I have yet to fulfill?"

Snape looked over her paperwork. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes flicked back to her. She got the sense that something was wrong.

"Professor?"

He sighed. "Miss Bernard, I think you will be just fine." She opened her mouth to say something else, something that might've given away her anxieties, but Snape dismissed her. "Go, do your revisions. I'll check them over when they're completed."

Eleanor gathered her things and left. She walked from the dungeons to the Great Hall, careful to avoid the busier corridors, lest she desire attention today. She did not.

She never wanted to be in the spotlight. Something about everyone being totally aware of her, or anyone for that matter. She appreciated the quiet of her life, only able to take so much chaos. Her cousins were a prime example. Pierre and Alexandre and, on occasion, Reine. Noemie, her same-aged cousin, was so horribly similar to her. Eleanor missed her in her bones, wishing she could see her soon.

The Great Hall was half full of students. Some she knew decently well and others she had no interest in knowing. A certain popular group of Gryffindors were loitering at the entrance of the Great Hall. This certain group almost made Eleanor turn right around, but she was just too damn stubborn sometimes.

She should've been less stubborn.