The next morning I woke long before the sun had risen, dewdrops scattered like a rainbow of gems along the tufts of grass around the pergola. The bandage on my arm itched and when I inspected the cloth I found it to be covered in dirt and sweat. My dress was in no better condition and I frowned at the tattered ashy state of the once beautiful cloth.

Out of habit I tried to run a hand through my hair only to find it was a disdainful mess of knots, dirt, and curls. I felt uncomfortable and gross all over and decided while the other’s slept that I might as well wash in the basin of water we’d arrived near earlier.

The night had made the water cool and I struggled to get comfortable in the frigid water. However, as I closed my eyes and worked at the knots in my hair with my fingers I began to feel a peace I hadn’t felt since leaving my home in Clifton. My aches and pains numbed in the chilly water and I felt the tension ease from my neck and shoulders.

“Astrayna!? Astrayna…” Key called groggily from around the bend. I tensed in the water and watched him stop short and quickly turn around when he found me in the basin. “Sorry, I didn’t realize we were washing this morning.” I felt heat curl on my cheeks and I cursed myself for not attending to my purpose that day until I realized I no longer had one.

I reached for my sleeping mat in an effort to cover myself until I could find somewhere to change back into my dress. “Um… I came to ask if you were ready for breakfast but I can see that you’re occupied at the moment.” I heard his footfalls as he wandered away and as I picked up my dress I cursed profusely realizing I could no longer wear the mutilated rags.

“Key you sorry excuse for a human being! Where did you put that extra dress!” Thana’s voice echoed around the open space and she came around the corner carrying a bundle of fabric. “For crying out loud, he can levitate boulders with a snap of his fingers but he can’t manage to make sure the injured member of the party has decent clothes to wear.” I felt my cheeks warm further and I pulled my sleeping mat tighter around me. “Come here girl, let's get you dressed in something decent.” She beckoned me with a wave of her arm and I shuffled over, leaving a trail of water in my wake.

The dress was simple with tight long sleeves and a soft single layered skirt, the hem just shy of my ankles. It was a dull green and I could tell it had been worn many times before. “It was mine when I was your age, Key let me take it with us until I grew out of it. You can have it, it suits you well.” She gave me a warm smile before gathering my dress and sleeping mat and wandering away, grumbling something about Key’s incompetency with women until I could no longer discern her voice against the sound of critters chattering about the morning.

My hair dripped long rivers down my back and I knew it would be hours before it dried and I could do anything with it. I sighed and tried to wring out as much liquid as I could before sitting quietly by the fire and gathering what supplies had survived the trip for breakfast.

There wasn’t much left and I struggled to make a decent helping of meat to sustain us for the day. Despite this I was still heavily praised for my cooking and I blushed profusely under the praise. “At this point I’m willing to believe you can make anything edible.” Thana gushed between bites, bits of meat spraying from her lips. I bit back my father’s common retort to those who spoke with their mouths full and gently nodded my thanks. Key stood, slinging his pack over his shoulder.

“We’ll need to buy more supplies in town.” He glanced off into the distance where a dirt path disappeared behind the horizon. “I think it’s high time we find the next Keeper.”

Thana gathered her things, slipping a knife into her boot and swirling her cloak around her shoulders. I stood watching them with my hands clasped before me, wondering where I fit in this pair of compatible companions.

Suddenly a flash of brown flew towards me, thudding with the dull sound of books on fabric against my chest and sending me stumbling backwards. “Sorry, didn’t mean to topple you over. That satchel is for you. There’s a notebook inside, ignore those first few pages of mindless dribble, it’s all yours for whatever you’d like. If you don’t mind I’ll put you in charge of food supplies since you so kindly volunteered to cook.” He gave me a wink and, clasping his cloak around him, began wandering down the path towards the town.

Thana pulled up the cowl of her hood and glanced back at me. “Welcome to our crew of madness.” With a sly smile she turned back and followed brusquely after Key.

I gently pulled the satchel over my head meandering behind as my mind swirled with the mistakes of the day. Despite being the Keeper of Choice, I wasn’t making very good choices and I felt my stomach knot and twist uncomfortably. I worried they’d made a mistake, that I’d made a mistake to listen to them that first day. My purpose hadn’t told me to respond and yet I’d spoken to them anyway. I could have ignored them, following my purpose as the rest of the town had, and yet…

“Astrayna? Are you well?” Thana turned back to where I’d been shuffling anxiously behind them, a trail of dragged dirt extending behind me like the slime of a snail.

“Um… yes, I’m fine.” My cheeks flared for what felt like the millionth time that morning and I quickly scrambled up behind Thana’s mud caked boots. My slippers, in stark contrast, were made of soft sheepskin and caked in dust that plumed in clouds with every step, the thin soles causing every rock and pebble to dig into my chafing feet.

“We’re nearing the town, Astrayna, I need you to put this on.” Key pulled a black cloak identical to his and Thana’s from his pack.

“Why must we wear the cloaks? Is there something significant about them?” I asked as Thana passed the cloak back to me and we paused as I attempted to figure out how to clasp it around my thin shoulders.

“It helps us blend in.” Key shrugged as if it was an obvious answer and I felt my eyebrow raise incredulously.

“They weren’t very helpful for ‘blending in’ in my town.” Key gave me a wry grin and I felt a shiver creep down my spine.

“Who says we wanted to hide then?”

He turned and continued walking, Thana following after with a knowing smirk curling her lips. I tried to settle my breathing as I rushed to keep up, my chest tightened as my mind raced with the knowledge. I bit my lip wondering how long they might have studied the village without us knowing. How long had they watched me in my routine, following the motions the Kumihedin gave me each twelfth.

“Let’s pick up the pace, I can see the village in the distance. Won’t be long now before we’ll get our first view of Badram.” Key called out from further along the trail and I was forced to shake the frantic thoughts from my mind.

The village was quaint and clustered. Tall two story buildings clustered together under an orange sky. The sun was still barely cresting the horizon and the clouds were tinged with the bright hues of sunrise. Despite the early hour and the distance we still had to walk I could see people milling about, wandering this way and that from shop, to home, to yard, and back.

I remembered the first dream I ever had, watching my ordered town in a bustling state like the village before me. Without a purpose these people had life but I wondered how they felt about not knowing what was to come. How many regretful decisions had they made without the Kumihedin’s guidance, how many times had their cheeks burned with shame and uncertainty.

Thana startled my thoughts again as she inhaled deeply. “Mmmm….. I smell the beautiful scent of fulfillment. Don’t you think it’s wonderful Astrayna?” I took a breath and instantly regretted the choice. The vile scent of refuse and blood filled my nostrils and I painfully resisted the urge to gag on the putrid scent.

“What manner of village is this that they have no place for their refuse and vile wastes.” I cried with my hand over my mouth.

“We’re in a city Astrayna. Unlike your village these people don’t all have lands of their own. They don’t have places to bury their excretions like your simple village does. And besides we’re near the slaughterhouse. There’s quite a few scents to be had here.” Key replied casually as he continued down the trail, my eyes watering with the horror of the scent and the scene before me.

Though I knew that meat was a life taken from a creature I had never been given the purpose of seeing the fish mongrels or those who killed the sheep who were no longer needed in the flock. As we approached the gates of the first building I watched as a man cheerfully tossed a bucket of crimson blood and fleshy clumps out the back door and into the browning pile of sickening organs and bones. I could no longer hold back the bile rising in my throat and I paused on the trail to wretch on the side of the road. The scent of what had been my breakfast that morning was sweet compared to the awful stench of the mound behind the slaughterhouse.

“Don’t worry kid, this is the worst of it. It gets better closer to the center of the city.” Thana offered her hand to me and I stood on shaky legs.

“It’s true child, they often keep the most foul smelling buildings along the edge of the city, it keeps the rest of the population fairly happy in comparison. There’s still refuse in the streets, but they’re kept cleaner than out here.” Key gently wrapped an arm around my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze. I swallowed the fresh round of acid rising in my throat and nodded silently. This journey would be harder than I thought.