Namjoon rose up from the depths of the darkness, and he finds the bright illumination of his room, and how blurred the ceiling is. He blinks a few times to get rid of the blurry vision, and upon having a clearer vision, he finds himself on the all familiar room.

He droops his head down to look at his own bare hands, and he cups his own cheeks with his gaze distant onto his hospital gown. Remembering Seokjin's words was just painful.

And God, he didn't even know he's crying. Above all, showing his weakness was a point he didn't want to show, not even himself.

It reminds him well of how he's so pathetic and so fragile. He shook his head a lot of times as Seokjin's voice gained dominance in his mind, the way it echoes painstakingly, he could feel his heart in agony.

"Why can't I forget- why- why-" He held both sides of his head as veins appeared onto the sides, emphasizing his feelings of anger.

It's too late for me.

No.

It's too late for me.

No! Stop it!

It's too late for me.

The echoes of pain brought by Seokjin alone.

Was that a dream? What was that supposed to do? How is that factual?

But Namjoon himself can't bear the hurt that his dream had given him. He felt so scared, losing the person offered to him by the Gods out there, to seek comfort, to love with no boundaries.

He wanted to live an actual life like how people mostly do it. To take a walk down the sidewalk, greet his neighbors, arrange romantic dates for his soulmate and grow old together. He wanted to at least do that with Seokjin.

God, Seokjin.

How is he able to get through this that easily? He was on the verge of dying, but Seokjin just apeared looking at the same patterns of stars with him that night. Appreciate the beauty of what nature has to offer for both of them, and believing they are each other's part. Seokjin is Namjoon's only solace.

But why must destiny be this cruel.

He absolutely hated it. But no, he can't believe this dream, and he don't want to. Above all, he even wanted to forget, but the words echoed and rings him out as though it cued him the truth.

Seokjin was smiling back there! Why did he had to leave like that! The way he looked back at Namjoon. It was all too good to be true, in fact. He didn't want it to be true, hearing his loved one, yes, loved one, bid goodbye.

Where's the good in goodbye?

Why must destiny be so cruel.

Namjoon lost everything. He knew Seokjin and him barely knew each other, but from that moment they both believed they saw the same stars, they definitely knew it's an instant work of love for them as they both shared a look knowingly.

The dreams and stars show the path to your destined one.

Dreams predict the future, the stars lights the way to it.

Just what is the sense of dreaming and knowing your soulmate if he's unreachable?

Just what is his sense living in a world that he couldn't even explore, he couldn't even see?

Namjoon stares blankly at the wall on the opposite side of his bed. He sighs exasperatedly, all the tiring exhaustion of doing nothing, all the tiring suicidal thoughts that occupies his head.

He can't do this anymore.

He stood up from his bed, albeit with difficulty aiding him, and with slow, easy steps, he went outside his hospital room, cautiously looking if there are doctors lurking around the hallway as he secretly climbs up the stairs towards the rooftop.

The windows he passed by illuminates his skin, the way it glitters as though a vampire and the sweat and tension he's going through with one objective in mind.

Death.

Once he had reached the rooftop, he closes the door securely before he looks up at the supposedly, starry night sky.

A tear managed to escape his eye, trailing down his cheeks and he clears his throat.

The stars aren't there.

It's an instant confirmation.

It's painful.

The knives pierce through the airways of his heart.

There is no way for happiness to freeflow into his heart. He had set himself up in a cage, and he does not know how to get out.

He was never free of himself. The demons just wouldn't let him.

Furiously, he grips hard enough onto the railings as he climbs up, and he sat onto the thick, rusty cylinder. He looks at his own two feet stepping onto the air, the blurry image of the ground had tempted him so bad.

I should've done this a lot sooner instead of letting these thoughts occupy me.

Namjoon takes a deep sigh, then he closes his eyes, basking in the coldness of the air, wishing it was Seokjin's kiss that's touching his skin.

He turns his head back to look one last time.

Seokjin is no longer there to ask,
"Are you going to kill yourself?"

"It's no longer the same stars without you."

With a smile and an opportunistic gaze down the distant ground, he takes his final breath, and letting it go with the wind, and with Seokjin's smile stuck in his head, he knows he'd see it again after sacrificing his last breath, before letting himself fall down the depths to his end.