Namjoon woke up to a terrible headache, and yet another image popped out in the hidden realm of his brain, and he squeezes his eyes shut at the pain.

"What the hell..." He cusses and he grits his teeth, shaking his head and shrugging the thought off.

Who was that?

Namjoon tried to shot up from bed, but he finds it hard as though he can't move and he grunts. "Fuck this, just kill me. Please."

He slowly rose up from bed, and yet even after a long night, he felt like he's still tired. Or maybe because he's tired of living himself? Being depressed affects Namjoon so much, depression eats you alive.

Depression suffocates you, but doesn't kill you, nor make you feel alive.

Namjoon sighed the deepest. What caught his attention was the sound of murmurs coming from the slightly ajar door.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Parkinson's disease is a neurodegenerative disorder, which leads to progressive deterioration of motor function due to loss of dopamine-producing brain cells.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Namjoon doesn't even know what the hell this is. What went wrong? He took care of himself, albeit he is a bit clumsy and usually ends up being wounded, but he was doing his best to try and not break everything, not even himself, but the opposite of what he had wanted always happens.

The man has a deep outlook in life, he'll probably be considered one of the contemporary philosophers, if only he gave that kind of career importance, he would've, but philosophers are mostly ignored even, nowadays. He wanted a long life, he wanted to see the wonders of the world, but it seemed he is banned from doing it, like there is a boundary keeping him out.

Disappointing.

Parkinson's disease usually appears when you're old, the wrinkles, the low motor skills, it explained it all. But the fact that he is too young to even undergo this, it's very unfair.

The fact that he wanted to move, to explore, to wonder and wander. He wanted to use his feet to feel the lump of grass beneath the soles of his bare feet, to hear the tippy-tap of his own footsteps, but as he lives his life, the more his feet became useless.

The more he becomes useless.

And suddenly, the thought of Seokjin comes into his mind.

It had been an awful while eversince he had seen the face of that man. No doubt the man is so beautiful, and Namjoon wonders how he could be so breathtaking albeit a man. He wanted that kind of impression to him as well. To be described as breathtaking. But he is just an ugly animal living in this world, and for him, that was the truth.

But Seokjin, with all honesty, had been enticed by the latter's beauty.

Namjoon misses Seokjin so bad, he was really convinced the past few days, that Seokjin is indeed his soulmate. He's just so sure of it! The very same night they both met, it was overwhelming. They both looked at the same stars, the same sky, the same place, with the same feelings, and the same cruelty that god has given them.

If Namjoon can't even move, what's the sense of living, right? He knew he wanted to see Seokjin again.

He stood up with difficulty from the bed, and he quickly walks his way  to the reception area to ask.

"H-hello. I'm looking for a patient here, named Jin?" The woman looked at him awkwardly. "Sir, there are a lot of people named Jin here, whom could you be referring to?"

Crap. He never knew Jin's whole name.

"I cannot allow you to visit a patient's room without knowing his whole name." Namjoon sighed at himself disappointingly.

"I-it's alright. Thank you."