“You got in a fucking WRECK?”

I knew Blair was going to be pissed, I mean hell, not only had I been pretty absent for the Thanksgiving break but I also had nearly died in my car on Thursday night.

“Don’t be mad, it’s just-”

“Don’t be mad? Are you kidding me Sam? I mean look at your head! You look like fucking scar face! Not to mention you also forgot to tell me you visited your loving family after years of ignoring them! And the fact that you also got yourself grounded for possibly the rest of the school year! And what’s the deal with fucking Megan? First she molests you in the parking lot at Jinx’s and then she’s getting you grounded? Is she psycho-?”

“Blair,” I cut off her rambling, knowing I had missed her more than I expected, “Calm down.”

She groaned, allowing herself to take in everything I hadn’t had the heart to tell her over the phone. It wasn’t like we could meet up during the weekend anyway, my car had been in the shop and Shawn had been pretty strict about me staying home.

All thanks to fucking Megan.

“You really can’t go out anymore?”

I shook my head, “Not until Shawn thinks I have control over myself, or whatever the fuck that means.”

Ever since Shawn had revealed to me that Megan was pretty much the reason I was grounded I was thankful she had moved the fuck out. If I had to be stuck home the last person I would want to be seeing was her. Maybe that was her plan all along, to get me grounded for life and then move the fuck out to avoid me.

She was evil, and this time I believed it.

Why would she do this to me, after everything we had been through? Did she really hate me that much? Or was she also doing it to protect me?

God, I hated her.

And to add the icing to the cake, I had to stare at her for fifty minutes after this class.

Blair spoke, “What’s the word on Emma?”

I laughed at the mention of her, “Honestly, she’s been ignoring me the entire Thanksgiving break. I wouldn’t doubt if she ignored me the rest of the school year.”

“You need to talk to her.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing I would need to break it off with Emma considering that idea of dating her had been a train wreck. Why had I dated her in the first place? I remember Megan suggesting it to me but why exactly had I done it? Was it because I really did like Emma or something else?

Was it because I had wanted to try and make Megan jealous?

Oh fuck that, and fuck Megan. She was a cunt.

I heard the bell ring up above, dismissing me to my most dreaded class of the day. I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do if Megan talked to me, simply because there was still this little part of me that wanted her.

But she obviously deserved a cold shoulder, and I was extremely upset with her. She would literally have to turn into a stack of money and alcohol for me to forgive her.

Blair asked, “So, what you gonna say to Megan?”

“That’s she’s a stupid cunt and that I hope her perfect tits rot off, or absolutely nothing.”

“I feel like she’s expecting the first response so I think your best bet is complete silence, considering she is your teacher again now.”

The anger only intensified the closer I came to Megan’s room, and the fact that she was leaning against the door nonchalantly only made me more upset. No matter how mad I was at Megan her looks always seemed to distract me just slightly, but I still knew I would be ignoring her.

I wasn’t being soft anymore.

Blair patted my shoulder lightly, “See you tomorrow.”

Then I was left alone to walk the few steps towards Megan’s open doorway, and suddenly her haunting blue eyes captured my stare. I didn’t respond, I just stared at her, but before I could walk in the door and take my seat she spoke, “I need to tell you something.”

I rolled my eyes clearly, allowing her to see my annoyance as I stared to face her again. She pulled me off to the side and I barely even gave her a glance, but it was hard when she was wearing a tight sweater and skinny jeans.

She continued, “I saw Emma kissing some guy last period.”

Honestly, I could care less what the fuck Emma did or didn’t do. I had done things a lot worse than her, so the fact that Megan was telling this to me had no effect on me. I was still upset with her and I was still going to end it officially with Emma, and the cheating and lying made no difference to me.

Not whenever Megan was acting like she had done nothing wrong.

“Did you hear me?”

I yawned, showing my indifference, “Is that all, Miss Adams?”

She seemed taken aback by my response, but since she was intelligent it didn’t take her long to put two and two together. She sighed, “Shawn told you, didn’t he?”

I responded quite harshly, “What? That you’re a lying bitch?”

I knew the words I was saying and not saying were really getting to her by her body language, and she shifted uncomfortably. She seemed hurt by my last sentence, but that was the point. She deserved a hell of a lot more than what I was initially saying.

“Sam, I’m sorry but I had to-”

“Save it, I interrupted, “I couldn’t care less, Megan.”

I turned on my heels, heading to my desk and knowing I would have to face Megan the entire fifty minutes since she decided to put me next to her fucking desk. She really had the nerve to bring up Emma and try apologizing to me for what she had done. I mean really, do you think an apology is going to do anything for me?

I sat in my new desk in the back, watching her walk into her class and glance at me with an apologetic look written on her face. I knew she felt bad but I honestly didn’t care, I was calloused towards her, and the more I looked at her the more pissed off I became.

So I turned my attention elsewhere. Then my phone buzzed in my pocket.

It was Emma, Hey, we need to talk ASAP.

I responded, This is surprising considering this is the first text I got from you in five days. I’m grounded so I’ll have to meet you after my fourth.

Alright.

She obviously hadn’t liked my response but it wasn’t intended to be nice. I was pissed at her for ignoring me, although I had actually done the same. I was tired of the games and not being able to feel anything for her, and I knew now that she felt the same way about me.

The only thing that really got to me was that I had been an experiment for her, and it had been nothing more than that.

After everything that had happened to me over the Thanksgiving break Emma was the least of my worries. When I thought about her the only thing I thought of was a nuisance, considering having the whole Emma thing on my shoulders just felt like an unnecessary weight.

Good thing I was taking care of that later.

I then wondered what it would be like after, considering Megan was going to make me help with the softball team again once they actually started playing. I would be back to being the equipment bitch who would awkwardly follow Megan and the softball team around.

It was honestly the worst punishment ever.

I just knew I couldn’t ruin my relationship with Emma, I needed to stay civil with her for the sake of our senior year. I didn’t want her to hate me because that would only make everything awkward, and I hated awkwardness.

It would be enough with having to be around Megan.

“Sam, can you read the next paragraph?”

She wasn’t really asking, it was almost more like a statement, and Megan really had a lot of nerve calling on me at this time. I kept my arms crossed, staring right into her lying little face and shaking my head slightly, “No, I’m good.”

She looked caught off guard, “Excuse me?”

I responded once more, elaborating a bit, “I said, No… I’m… good.”

I could see something written on her face, something that would’ve scared me before I knew she was a lair. I just didn’t care anymore, and when I didn’t care I honestly couldn’t care any less. She should’ve just left me alone, but now the class was giggling silently at her because I was refusing the infamous Miss Adams rather than just going along because she was a goddess.

But she was far from it.

“Well then, if you don’t want to cooperate then you can leave my class.”

I smiled in victory as I slung my booksack over my shoulder, nodding to her as I made my way up the row. I saluted her sarcastically, “See yuh, Felicia!”

Honestly I knew it was a bad idea to do this in front of her entire class, and all in all I felt bad for embarrassing her, but I couldn’t help it. I was pissed off at her, and what she did to me was fucked up, so a little bullying towards her made me feel better.

Even though I knew it wasn’t right on my part.

“You’re getting a write up for this,” she called out.

But I didn’t care, remember?

I smiled as I let half of my body hang out into the hallway as I called, “Just put it on my tab,” then I slammed the door.

I knew I would stay on campus but I needed to disappear for a while till Emma got out of her class. I needed to get this whole thing over with, so I decided to wait out fourth hour and then leave after her and I spoke.

I walked outside the school and found a vending machine, feeling a bit hungry from the absence of lunch. I purchased me a bag of Doritos and pulled out my headphones to keep me company.

Nothing like a little Juke Box Hero to make the time pass with a blur as I continued walking towards the library. I walked in, scanning the area to make sure it was clear as I walked through the back and made my way towards the corner that held a bean chair.

Perfect for an afternoon nap.

I ducked off behind the bookshelf and made myself comfortable, wondering what was going on through Megan’s head right now. I knew she had to be pissed, especially since I had completely humiliated her.

But maybe she would understand why I was being such a bitch.

I mean come on, if she really expected me to give into her apology over something like this, then she really didn’t know me. She had lied to my face, lied to Shawn’s face, made me trust her, made me actually like her, just for her to pull something stupid like this?

I mean come on.

She deserved a lot worse than what I was actually doing, because I obviously couldn’t threaten to kick her ass since she was my teacher.

But whatever.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to forget about everything for a while, while I waited for Emma to get out of class. I was dreading the talk but I knew it had to be done, even though I wasn’t sure exactly what I was going to say.

Then I felt a nudge on my foot and when I opened my eyes my lovely guidance counselor came into view.

I smiled sarcastically, “Good to see you Wanda.”

“Samantha, why did I get told that you walked out of Miss Adams’ class and made a completely unnecessary scene?”

I sighed, “Ah, probably because I did?”

She groaned, “So if you were going to skip, why stay on campus?”

I rolled my eyes, “Because I’m grounded for accidentally getting into a wreck so if I go home I have to stay there. I’m waiting for my girlfriend to get out of class so we can officially break up and I honestly didn’t want to read out loud in Miss Adams’ class because my head hurts.”

I couldn’t believe Megan actually had to the nerve to kick me out and then call the office to go and look for me. I mean after everything she had done to me you think she would just give me a break for once.

But God forbid that.

Wanda’s expression changed at my rant, and I hoped I had made her feel bad. I mean I had a gash on my head, a bruise to go with it, my girlfriend was breaking up with me and I was grounded during my senior year.

It sounded like a pretty shitty Monday to me.

She sighed, “You’re not just skipping to be a little shit, huh?”

I shook my head, “Honestly I just wanted to get away and be alone.”

She looked around then, seeming to take pity on me in this situation.

She groaned, “Just stay in class tomorrow and apologize to Miss Adams.”

I honestly couldn’t believe she was actually letting me off of the hook. Wanda, my strict and calloused guidance counselor was letting me get away with skipping. My mouth was probably hanging open as I responded, “Thank you.”

Then she walked away, leaving me alone to finish out fourth hour in solitude.

~ ~ ~ ~

I was walking to the parking lot after the bell rang dismissing fourth hour and I went on a search for Emma. I knew where she usually parked so that’s where I went first, and luckily she was there already waiting for me in her car.

I walked around the front, seeing her shift uncomfortably in the driver seat as I made my way to her passenger side. I hopped in, feeling the tension already threaten to strangle me. It was certainly awkward in here, that’s for sure.

She spoke, “What the hell happened to your head?”

I shrugged it off, “Got into a car accident Thursday.”

She seemed shocked, and I figured she would’ve been considering I hadn’t told her anything about it. I mean, she had been ignoring me since Wednesday. She just eyed me, not sure of what to say but I figured there was no need beating around the bush anymore.

I continued, “Look Emma, I know this thing between us isn’t working and you’re seeing someone else. I know that everything we had was based on sex and no emotion, and I’m sorry that this sounds so harsh, I’m just in a shitty mood. I just don’t want us to not be friends anymore, cause you really are a cool person and I respect our friendship more than anything.”

Her brown eyes flickered between mine and she took a deep breath, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was involved with someone.”

I shrugged, “I’m sorry I cheated on you multiple times within the past few weeks.”

“You fucked someone else?”

I was blunt, “Yea.”

And so was she, “Me too.”

I laughed to myself, wondering how nonchalant this conversation was going to get.

“Figured that.”

She looked at me, appalled, “Figured what?”

“That you would cheat just like I did.”

She laughed then, hearing the light-heartedness in my voice, “We’re really fucking weird.”

I nodded, feeling the humor in this situation fade as I thought about Megan and what she had done to me. It depressed me knowing she had betrayed me and gotten me grounded for no reason. It sucked knowing that I couldn’t trust her anymore, and it really sucked always being mad at her when I didn’t want to be.

Then Emma asked, “Are you okay?”

I ran my hands through my hair as I ignored the feeling of wanting to cry at the question, “Yea, just had a hard couple days.”

She asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Honestly I did, but not with Emma. She wouldn’t understand my family situation, she wouldn’t understand why I got grounded, she wouldn’t understand the problems I had with alcohol, and she wouldn’t understand my situation with Megan.

I shook my head, “Maybe some other time.”

She took my hand before I left the car, “Sam, please don’t think I don’t care about you, because I do.”

I looked into her eyes, knowing she wasn’t lying, but I was just too much to deal with. I had issues, issues Emma just wouldn’t understand no matter what I told her. She would run away from me if I told her everything that was going on, and that was something that had torn us apart in the first place.

She just wasn’t understanding and accepting like Megan was.

Wait, did I really just think… oh fuck me.

I smiled sadly back at Emma, dismissing myself, “I know, and I don’t blame you for finding someone else. You really do deserve someone much better than me.”

Then I got out of her car and made my way to my own, knowing I would have to go home since Shawn would be calling me to make sure I wasn’t somewhere I shouldn’t be. I had left Emma confused and not knowing anything about why I was so fucked up. I honestly didn’t want to talk about anything with her, I mean after all, we had sex, got together, and we literally just broke up.

And I’m sure talking about the way I feel for another girl wouldn’t be the best topic of choice.

I felt the cold winter air wrapped around me, sending a shiver through my body as I tugged my layered jacket tighter around my torso. It was getting colder by the day, and the more December progressed the harder the cold would get.

I didn’t like winter very much.

I sat in my car, cranking it up and allowing it to warm up as I thought about my first Monday back from Thanksgiving. It had been pretty shitty, all in all, but maybe the week would get better. I didn’t know how exactly it would get better but I didn’t think it could get any worse.

And maybe finally getting to return to work Wednesday would make my week a little better.

~ ~ ~ ~

Walking into Jinx for my Wednesday night shift felt good, getting out of my dreaded house and being able to socialize with a lot of people tonight would definitely be good for me. I knew Shawn still didn’t trust me but that was still because Megan had her hooks so deep in him that he forgot I was his own blood.

So I was still fighting a losing battle with him.

Now school was an entirely different situation. Megan had gotten my message loud and clear on Monday that I wanted nothing to do with her and her fake apologies. I was extremely upset with her and she knew that, and she had refused to talk to me about anything since then, which I was grateful for.

I had nothing to say to her.

I still had no idea why on earth Megan would decide to lie to Shawn deliberately and get me grounded. Then of course I didn’t want to talk to her, which would disable me from finding out the truth.

I just wasn’t ready or willing to talk to her yet.

The hatred towards Megan had faded a little bit, I wasn’t going to lie, but there was still sadness and anger towards her. I knew it wasn’t going to just go away like it never happened, I mean I was still punished because of her for Christ’s sake.

Getting rid of my anger would be impossible when I was still grounded.

So the only good thing I had to look forward to was work, and here I was back in my old familiar second home, but tonight I would be serving drinks instead of ingesting.

It was ladies night, which obviously meant there were going to be a lot of females here looking for hot chicks and strong drinks. I would need to stock up my bar extra well, and that’s exactly what I began doing.

That was until Danna appeared on the side of me.

“Your heads looking a bit better.”

I nodded, “Yea, the bruise kind of went away so it’s not as bad, but it’s still pretty bad.”

She smiled, “You can always tell people you got in a fight and won.”

I laughed at her, “Or that I wrecked my car speed racing in Tokyo.”

She winked, “I think you should stick to my story.”

I smiled as I continued stocking my fridge, knowing it wouldn’t be long till we opened and people would begin showing up.

I was anxious to make some money tonight.

Danna spoke, “Another thing I had to tell you, Shawn called me.”

I rolled my eyes at this, “Of course he did.”

She patted my shoulder, “No stealing any on the side shots, orders from big bro.”

I smiled sarcastically, “Don’t worry, I know the ropes.”

She walked away as I began finishing up, wishing that there was one place that my punishment wouldn’t follow me everywhere. The reminders of Megan and her lying mouth just kept replaying, and it even followed me to work now.

All the stupid rules and punishments were inescapable.

All thanks to fucking Megan.