After morning coffee with Megan I had been feeling really weird after lying to her face. I didn't understand why I had lied to her about what she had told me, I just didn't really know how to break it to her.

But for some reason I regretted it.

She seemed shocked when I told her, but she brushed it off to the side immediately. The last thing I wanted was for her to start crawling back to Nikki on my behalf.

Why was I so stupid?

What had I been afraid of? Why had I been afraid over the thought of Megan possibly caring for me? Did she care about me? No, that was the entire reason I lied, because I knew she didn't. I was her student, her best friend's sister, and not to mention five years younger.

But age was never an issue, especially when you get older, not to me anyway.

Currently I was making my way to Blair's house after getting a text that consisted of a lot of uppercase letters and exclamation points. After the bar scene yesterday I had jet to the apartment after dropping her off, and she wanted to know everything that had went on in that booth.

And I needed to talk to her.

I pulled up into her driveway, making my way through her house and into her bedroom where I found her laying on her bed. She sat up, "You have a lot of explaining to do."

I smiled, sitting on her bed, "Yea, I know."

"So spill. What happened?"

And I did, from the whole pretending-to-be-the-fake-girlfriend thing to the night I had with Megan. I tried my best not to leave any detail out because I knew once we were done she would try giving me advice, which is exactly what I needed. I had no idea how to go about this whole Megan thing, and if anyone knew what to do, it would be Blair.

I finished, "So what should I do?"

She just stared at me, shaking her head, "I honestly have no idea on this one, Sam."

My jaw dropped, "What? No, you have to help me."

Blair smiled, "Well, first off, the thing with the half ownership of Jinx, yea you need to talk to Danna about that before Nikki does. Second, when is Nikki leaving in the first place? Is she still in town? And with Megan... I honestly have no clue. All she muttered was stay, nothing more, nothing less, which doesn't give you much to work with. She could've thought you were her mom for all we know, because she wasn't even conscious."

I ran my hand through my hair, feeling overwhelmed, "Megan's right, this is so fucked up."

Blair patted my back, "But hey, now we got a glimpse inside Megan, and maybe I've been right all along and she cares about you like you care about her."

I looked at Blair, "What do you mean how I care about her?"

"Oh give it a rest Sam, you're falling in love with her and everyone knows it."

"Everyone?!"

"Ssh, calm down," she put her hand on my shoulder, "Not everyone. It's a figure of speech."

I felt my heart beat speed up, not knowing what I was supposed to do or what exactly I was feeling. I had never really felt this before, nothing this strong, and it was confusing and awesome at the same time.

Blair coaxed, "So anyways, how's you and Emma?"

"Who?"

"Emma? Gorgeous brunette with a rockin' body that I'm pretty sure is falling for you like you're falling for Megan."

The question had caught me off guard. I hadn't expected Emma to come up in the conversation about Megan, but for some reason I was glad to talk about her. I hadn't told Blair that we had sex the other day, again, because well we had done it plenty of times since the first.

Blair wasn't keen on me sleeping with a "straight" girl.

"I slept with her again yesterday, before going to the bar."

She slapped my leg, "Dammit Sam, I knew you seemed happy but... that explains everything."

I smirked, "It was her idea."

"It's always her idea."

I shrugged, "She likes having sex with me."

"Yea, and only you, remember?"

I scratched my head, "Well, yea, she kind of seemed upset yesterday when she left."

Blair nodded, "Because she likes you, idiot."

I shook my head, "Even if I would have wanted her to stay, Megan lives there now. I can't have anyone from school there."

"Yea I know, but I'm telling you, Emma likes you, and I know you feel something for her. Whether it's purely sexual or something a little more, and you can't ignore it forever."

I shrugged, "Doesn't mean I can't try to ignore it."

Blair touched my leg, "Sam, don't be stupid, okay?"

"Apparently being stupid is my nature, so."

She shoved me, "I'm being serious. You've finally grown a heart and developed feelings for two awesome people, one of which is straight, and the other which is your fucking history teacher. They're two very complicated roads, but that only means the relationship will be worth the work, okay?"

I just stared at her, "You freak me out with your fortune cookie quotes, like seriously."

Then Blair looked at her phone for the time, "Look, I say we start solving these problems one at a time, starting with the Danna thing."

I rolled my eyes, "Fine, but they don't open till four."

Blair smiled, "Then we'll make up a game plan and head out around then."

~ ~ ~ ~

Walking into the familiar bar I searched for Danna, not seeing her at the bar, which was actually empty. It was weird, being here this early, because literally no one was here.

We walked up to the bar, and Danna popped up from stocking her coolers with alcohol. She smiled at the sight, "Blair, Sam, you two are here super early."

I smiled forcefully, "That's because we needed to talk to you."

Her face fell, as if she knew something was wrong, "Are you in trouble? Who do I have to beat-"

"It's nothing like that," I continued, "I might've, um, lied a bit? There was someone here yesterday, someone new in town, and I kind of told her..."

I watched Danna's eyebrow rise in curiosity, making me even more nervous.

I finished, "I kind of told her I held a partial ownership over the place."

Danna just studied me, not saying much which was terrifying. I didn't want to piss Danna off, because this was my place to come to escape, and I might've just ruined that. God I was fucked up.

Then she answered, "I mean, you might as well, you practically live here. So is this girl like, a threat or something? Is that why you lied?"

I nodded, "It's a super long story, but she's crazy, and if she does come to you about it, I wanted you to hear me out first."

Danna smiled, "You know Sam, if you ever want a real job, and want to make a lot of money, you can always work here."

I laughed, "Oh Danna, I don't wanna disappoint you, or ruin this place. It's going so well."

She grabbed my hand, "Sam, I know you would be awesome at working here. You know the drinks, and you know how to work the crowd. You would be the perfect bartender."

Was she really offering me a job at Jinx? A place I came to unwind? I mean... it sounded awesome, especially over the money part. And not to mention all the girls I would get to hit on...

I smiled, "I'll consider it. I have a lot on my plate right now."

She patted my hand, "Of course. Look, I'm offering you a job because you're one of the few people I actually trust in this town. You're genuine, even if you don't know it, and you're loyal. Just like Shawn."

I smiled, feeling Blair nudge me slightly, "Sounds like a deal to me."

I nodded, "Agreed, but seriously, give me a couple months. Maybe I can come in and train later on down the road."

Danna smiled, patting my hand and nodding, "See you two later?"

I nodded, dismissing Blair and I as we walked out of the bar and to my car. I revved up my Camaro as I headed back onto the road, questioning Blair, "Where to next?"

"Wherever Megan isn't."

I groaned, "Why are you so against her but for her at the same time?"

"Because, yes she's smokin' hot and pretty fucking perfect, but you're a completely different person around her. It scares me sometimes, how weird you get."

I looked at her, "How do I get weird?"

"You study her, and you get more defensive, but at the same time I can feel the sexual tension between you two. It grosses me out, that's how bad it is."

I rolled my eyes, "You're full of shit."

"No, I'm full of the truth! And you can't seem to handle it."

I pulled up into a gas station, looking at Blair, "Look, I'm tired of talking about Megan, okay?"

She held up her hands, "Fine."

I walked out and into the gas station to pick up some cigs, knowing I had smoked my last one earlier. I rounded the corner and headed to the counter, only to come face to face with the devil herself.

She eyed me up and down, smiling a devil's smile, "Samantha, good to see you again."

I pushed past her and to the counter, "Not likely, Nikki."

I told the clerk which pack I wanted and waited impatiently, hearing Nikki behind me, "I didn't peg you as a smoker."

I rolled my eyes, paying the clerk and turning around to face her, "Yea well, we all have our bad habits."

"How's Megan? She seemed a little distraught when you two left the other day."

I smiled sarcastically, "She's fine, not like you care."

I tried to push past her but her hand fell onto my chest, "You're convinced I don't care about Megan. Why is that?"

I snatched her hand and threw it off of me, nearly growling in defense, "Because of the way you treated her. Megan is a damn good catch and you know it, and you fucked her over. You can act like you don't care but you do. You're a selfish bitch that will never find love simply because you're too conceited to see a gift that's right in front of you."

And with that I left Nikki there, speechless I might add. I didn't understand where that had come from, but I was sure glad it came to me in the right moment.

I hopped back into my car, watching Blair's eyes, "Was that Nikki in there?!"

"Yes."

"What did you say to her?!"

"That she's a useless, narcissistic bitch."

"Damn, she really pissed in your cheerios."

I sped down the road, feeling rage overtake me. How could someone like Nikki, someone completely self-centered and evil make someone like Megan fall in love with her? I mean was Megan really that stupid? I couldn't believe such a thought.

"She's such a fucking evil person, Blair, you just have no idea."

"Even more evil than you?"

I looked at her, "I'm not evil, not compared to this girl."

"Damn, you're convinced she's the devil's spawn."

"I wouldn't doubt it. Not one bit."

~ ~ ~ ~

Monday came quickly, and Megan had warned me that we would be hosting tryouts all during this week. I wasn't excited, not in the slightest, but I had to be there. Along with Emma who had been acting quite weird, and now knowing that she possibly liked me made it even weirder.

What was I going to do?

I slowly made my way to the field, feeling the October air surround me. It was starting to get a lot cooler so the practice wardrobe had changed from shorts to sweats.

I rounded the corner, walking up to Megan and Coach Lee who were discussing certain things I wasn't aware of. I didn't want to be here in the first place but Megan had convinced me to come, because well, she was very persuasive.

I saw Emma on the far end of the field talking with a couple of her tea members, and I watched her light brown eyes flicker to me. I waved slightly, smiling but the only thing I got in return was a slight wave and a cold shoulder.

I growled, "What the fuck."

I joined Megan and she spoke, "Hey, glad you decided to come."

I laughed, "Did I really have a choice?"

"No, but I'm glad you weren't stupid enough to bail."

"Ah, you finally gave me the benefit of the doubt."

She sighed, "The older girls and Coach Lee will be doing most of the work, we're just here to take notes."

I nodded, "So, in translation you mean do nothing?"

She smiled, taking a seat on the waist high concrete wall alongside me, "Pretty much."

I groaned, looking at the list of girls trying out and then back at Emma who was keeping her eyes off of me. She was refusing to even glance at me, and I just wanted to know what I had done wrong. I honestly didn't think I had done anything wrong but the thought of Emma being angry at me made me sad.

Megan spoke, "Why are you staring into nothing?"

I shook myself out of the daydream, "Nothing, just thinking."

"About?"

I sighed, "Nothing, Megan."

She shoved me, "Tell me."

I looked at her, giving her evil eyes and breaking down, "Fine. I think Emma's mad at me and I don't know why."

She nodded, "I think that's because Emma likes you."

I rolled my eyes, "Why does every keep saying that?"

She laughed, "Well maybe because it's true. Did you two fight or something?"

I looked down at my hands, answering her, "No, we had sex and then she just left and started acting all weird."

Megan seemed to think about something but I decided to refuse to ask her about it. There was enough drama going on right now, no need to add more.

Megan sighed, "Well, that just proves my theory right. She likes you, Sam."

I shrugged, "And?"

"Maybe you should try and... you know, date her?"

I laughed at this, shaking my head, "That's not a good idea, and it'll never work. I'm way too selfish and stupid, and I have urges that usually fuck that up. Not to mention the fact that Emma doesn't want anyone to know she's involved with me."

I realized how pathetic I had sounded then and I mentally cursed myself. I shook my head, refusing to look up at Megan. I didn't want her to see how bad Emma had me right now, and I knew I shouldn't care but I kind of did.

Megan's hand landed on my back then, and suddenly I felt something I had never felt before. It felt good¸ and gentle, but it had left me so confused. I didn't feel this with anyone besides her, and I didn't understand why, when I knew somewhere deep down I felt something different for Emma.

But I also felt something different for Megan.

I balled my fist, feeling the familiar ache in my chest that had surfaced a long time ago. I couldn't ignore it right now, like I did every other time I thought about it. I took deep breath in hopes to ease it before Megan noticed.

Megan spoke, "You're not stupid, and you can honestly control all of those... urges you have."

I nodded, "When I go to Jinx and some hot girl starts hitting on me, I usually get one mind-set and stick to it. It doesn't matter if I'm in a relationship."

"If you have the strong desire to have sex, just do it with Emma. I mean, from having to listen to you the first time you two had sex... it sounded pretty fantastic."

I laughed, remembering that night and realizing who I was talking to. I shook my head, "I don't want to talk about this."

"Since when?"

"Since you're you."

She smiled, "What difference does it make, we're past the weird sex talks. I don't know if you realize how well we get along now."

I nodded in response, "Trust me, I know, and it still manages to freak me out."

"So back to what o was saying... It's not about all of those things you said, it's about her. You're scared to tell her how you feel or something?"

I groaned at the topic, wishing she would've left it alone, "Of course I'm scared! Mostly because I don't have an idea of what I feel, I just know it makes me feel weird."

"Is this the first time you've felt something like this?"

I looked up at her, seeing a genuine look sitting on her face. I thought about it, realizing it was the first time, but that I was feeling it for two different people, which wasn't supposed to happen.

I nodded, "Yea."

She leaned back, "Wow. You know, it's okay to be scared, you know, to be vulnerable to someone."

I shook my head, "I have a lot of trust issues."

"You can always work on that."

"I'm a smoker, and I drink a lot."

She smiled, "We can get you help."

"Oh, and did I mention I almost got killed by my mother? And had a really fucked up father that nearly drank himself to death every night? And how my body is full of scars because of my crazy parents?"

Megan sighed, realizing what I was trying to do, "Sam, when you reveal those kinds of things to someone, it's supposed to build a relationship. If she cares about you, which she does, she's going to accept you for who you are."

I laughed to myself, "My God you sound just like Blair."

"I'm serious, dammit."

I looked at her, watching her mesmerizing eyes take me in as she waited for my reaction. Then suddenly I thought about how she had nearly forced my fucked up past out of me all that time ago. If she was admitting this, that if Emma cared about me she would accept my past, could it be the same about Megan?

I was afraid to ask, simply because we were out here on the softball field and we hadn't taken one note of the freshmen yet. We were lost in conversation, and for me to switch the subject matter to Megan, well I figured it would only upset her.

I sighed, "I've never done something like this, and not to mention the fact that you kind of live in my house now."

She smiled, "We can always work around that too."

I studied Megan, recalling how I had lied to her about Friday night with the whole talking in her sleep situation. I didn't know why I had lied, but I was starting to understand a possible reason as to why I did.

Maybe somewhere deep down, I had known Megan wanted me to stay, even if she didn't herself. And maybe it had frightened me, and burying the truth with a lie was easier than facing the truth itself.

Wait, since when I had deep, emotional thoughts like that?

I was officially losing it.

I looked up, watching Emma laugh with some of her friends, wondering what exactly I was supposed to do. I had no idea how to go about this, and for some reason I felt odd getting advice from Megan.

I looked at Megan, "Why are you so set on me dating Emma, who by the way is supposed to be straight."

She groaned, "Teenagers and their small-minded labels, I swear. It doesn't matter what she's supposed to like, she likes you, get over it. You can like more than one sex, it's not a big deal."

I held up my hands in defense, "Whoa now, no need to get crazy."

"Look, it'll be a growing up thing for Emma with the whole dating a girl, and it'll be the trust thing for you. Relationships are supposed to make you grow as a person."

I smiled, "Yea well, I hope Emma grows in her breast area. Not that I don't like her boobs, because I do, but they would look even nicer if they were C's."

I felt a slap on the back of my head, "That's not nice."

I growled, "What the hell."

"Remember, I'm still considered your teacher right now."

I laughed, "After we talk about everything you decide to get in the scolding mood?"

She shoved me lightly, smiling, "I'm bipolar, remember?"

I rolled my eyes, "I think that's your excuse when you just wanna slap me and shit."

She sighed, "Most of the time you deserve it."

"Is it you're weird version of hitting on me?"

"No Sam, I'm physically hitting on you, not verbally. That will never happen."

I smiled, laughing to myself, "I doubt it'll never happen, I mean we made great progress Friday night. You even complimented me."

"Don't get used to it."

I laughed, "Same here."