“Megan had a younger sister that died? Holy shit Sam.”

I nodded, “I feel so bad you know? The look on her face, the way she fucking looked at me when I brought it up…”

“You didn’t know,” Blair stated, and I knew she was right, but I still felt wrong.

I hadn’t been brave enough to talk to Megan about it, not even in the days that passed after the weird revelation. She was still giving me the cold shoulder, but now I think it was something more personal rather than just me.

She would say maybe two words to me a day, barely acknowledge my existence in class or on the field, and when she did talk to me it was always cold and monotone. I hadn’t meant to bring up the fucking past, I had just wanted to know where she had gotten the necklace. How was I supposed to know her sister was fucking dead?!

But all in all I still felt pretty shitty about the situation, because I knew that death, especially a family member, was hard. I had never really experienced a close personal death besides my grandma, but a sister? I could only imagine the pain Megan had to push through, and the worst part was that it was still a fresh wound, considering it had only happened a few years ago.

I sighed, “I feel like I should apologize, but she’s refused to hold any type of conversation with me since that day at the field. Now that the sister thing happened it’s only gotten worse.”

Blair shrugged, “I don’t know Sam, maybe she’s distancing herself, and maybe you should too. See if she notices.”

I looked at her, wondering what exactly Blair was getting at. I questioned, “Like, stop trying to talk to her?”

She nodded in response.

“But it’s like, I barely even try you know. I’m doing the minimum here, any less and I’ll just be completely ignoring her.”

She shrugged once more, “Maybe that’s what you should do.”

I studied Blair further, wondering where exactly that suggestion had come from. Just weeks ago she was telling me to ask Megan all kinds of personal shit, and now she had managed to do a complete 180.

Everything in my life was getting too weird.

I sighed, “On the bright side, I met a cool chick on the team.”

Blair raised her eyebrow, not even taking her eyes off of the science book in front of her, “Really?”

I nodded, “Emma.”

“She’s straight.”

I rolled my eyes, “And? That doesn’t mean anything anymore. Labels are stupid anyway.”

Blair looked at me with a dry look, “You’ve always relied on labels.”

She was right, I always had, but ever since Megan had lashed out on me for trying to label her, I kind of backed off of them. They were overrated anyway.

I shrugged, “People change.”

She laughed then, shoving me slightly, “Yea, and I’ve walked on the fucking moon. That’s a myth and you know it.”

I rolled my eyes, “I never said I wanted to fuck Emma anyway… she’s just cool.”

Blair nodded, “Yea well, I think you should keep a low profile on the softball team for now. You do have to stay with them for the next like, seven months or so.”

The bell rang and I packed my stuff quickly, falling into stride with Blair as we walked down the hall. I really didn’t feel like suffering through history today but I knew I had to, but in the back of my mind I wanted to see Megan. I always wanted to fucking see her, it was so annoying.

We rounded the corner, letting Megan come into view. Blair ordered quickly before walking away, “Remember what I told you.”

Then I was alone, and as I expected Megan didn’t say anything to me as I approached the class. The difference was today, I wasn’t going to acknowledge her either, and I walked into the classroom and sat, forcing my eyes away from the door where she was standing.

I hated this stupid game we were playing, because I knew it was hard for the both of us, but what else was I to do? If she wanted to play like that then I was going to play twice as hard, and I was going to make her crack eventually.

I just hope it wouldn’t take long because it was already hard for me.

She walked in, shutting the door and began her lesson as usual. I kind of began to doze off at some point because my God, history was fucking boring.

I watched her silently, knowing that even though I couldn’t talk to her didn’t mean I couldn’t look at her. She was wearing a nice flowy skirt and a cute blouse, heels to match that weren’t too high. Her legs looked fantastic, as always, and even though her shirt refused to show any cleavage she still looked pretty fucking hot. I never understood how someone could dress so modest and look so… sexy.

Then there were her perfect brown curls that always cascaded over her shoulders and down her chest. It was always perfect, and her light make-up, which she didn’t need in the first place, made her entire appearance worth looking at.

Fuck she was perfect.

“Sam, why don’t you read us the next paragraph on page ninety-one?”

I looked up at Megan sarcastically, knowing which paragraph we were on, but she thought I didn’t. I looked down and began reading, completely catching her off guard. I read until the end of the paragraph, and then I read the next paragraph after that, and eventually I had read the entire page.

After I finished I looked up, “Shall I continue?”

The got a quiet giggle out of the people around me, which only annoyed Megan further, “No, that’s enough.”

Then she returned to her presentation as I smirked under my hair, knowing I had managed to get under her skin with only saying three words to her. Sure, it took me reading an entire fucking page of boring words, but I thought it was worth it.

Maybe pissing Megan off would be more fun than I had expected.

~ ~ ~ ~

“So, how was your day?”

I looked at Emma with a weird look, wondering if she was being sarcastic or not. It wasn’t everyday someone asked me about my day. On second thought, no one ever asked me how my day was.

I shrugged, “Pretty fucking boring.”

She laughed slightly, “Yea, same here. I swear Anatomy is going to kill me.”

“Should’ve taken Environmental Science.”

She rolled her eyes, “Yea, if I would’ve wanted an easy A I would’ve, but I’m going to college for nursing, so I figured it would help me in the long run.”

“Future nursing major? That’s hot.”

She smiled, blushing slightly as she hit another ball off of the Tee. “Thanks, for thinking that’s hot. Usually guys run away from me when they hear that I’m actually trying to make something of myself.”

I sighed, “Well, that’s because guys are douches.”

“I think your opinion is slightly biased, Sam.”

At this I couldn’t help but smile, realizing she was sounding a lot like me. I knew she was referring to my sexuality, which lead me to believe she was actually trying to bring it up in conversation.

I shrugged, “You’re right, but it’s a fact, not an opinion.”

She laughed as she swung the bat, hitting another ball off of the Tee as I loaded another after. I found myself gravitating towards Emma, and I figured it was because she and I had pretty good chemistry. We didn’t talk about the usual, we talked about stupid shit and funny things, kind of like Blair and I did. She wasn’t just a regular girl, which was always something I found pretty interesting.

“Just please promise me you won’t join a sorority.”

She kicked the bucket I was sitting on lightly, laughing, “Oh fuck that. All those girls are the same. They wear the same clothes, they talk the same way, they probably even date the same guys.”

I smiled, “I went to a frat party not long ago and you’re so right, they’re like fucking clones.”

She studied me, “Why were you there?”

“Long story.”

She tilted her head, smiling, “Really? I think we’ve got plenty of time. I have to hit three more buckets.”

I laughed to myself, realizing she was completely right. I hated explaining the drug thing to people, it was awkward and I liked Emma. What if she was anti-marijuana?

I shrugged, “They needed something and I brought it to them, and then they invited me to stay.”

“Weed, Sam. You can say weed. I’m not afraid of the word.”

I laughed, nearly falling off the bucket. She was something else, and it shocked me how open-minded and free-spirited she really was. I shrugged, “I didn’t know if you-”

“Were a prude? C’mon, everyone does it. The only reason I haven’t is because of the softball team, and the last thing I need is a random drug test to get me kicked off.”

“So you’re not against it?”

“No? There’s nothing wrong with smoking it. You know, it really gets me how people are like ‘It’s bad! It’ll ruin your life’ and ‘You’re gonna be a bum!’ when they’re sipping on a fucking beer and smoking a cigarette. I mean, how hypocritical.”

I laughed at her outrageous rant, “For real. Like, hey let’s make this shit illegal for no apparent reason just to make a shit-load of money! That’s the real reason it’s illegal, because of economics. It’s sad really.”

She smiled, “It’s nice to finally meet someone who sees how fucked up the world really is.”

I smiled in return, realizing I felt the exact same way about her. I leaned forward, questioning, “What’s your favorite song?”

She sighed, “That’s too broad. What genre of music are we talking about?”

I squinted, “Rock, classic rock, not that new shit.”

She looked at me in thought, and then she answered, “I love Bon Jovi so, either Always or Runaway.”

I then knelt in front of her, taking her hand in mine and smiling, “Fucking marry me.”

She laughed, pulling her hand out of mine and pushing my forehead slightly, “Shut up Sam.”

I held my hands up, laughing like an idiot, “Seriously, I never would’ve expected you to say that.”

She shrugged, smiling as she began picking up all the balls she had hit into the net. She answered, “Me and my dad listen to that, he’s an old soul. Now my mom, she’s all country, I guess I get the best of both worlds.”

I helped her gather the balls and then took my place back on the bucket, putting another ball on the Tee. I answered, “Don’t listen to much country.”

“You should, like the older stuff, like you said. It’s beautiful really.”

I studied Emma more as she continued to hit in front of me, wondering how I was relating to her so easily. It was weird, because naturally I never really opened myself up to relate, but it was easy with her. Just like it had been easy with Blair and Megan.

Did that mean anything?

I forced myself not to think too much over this, knowing it was useless in the long run. Blair was right, and getting involved with a girl on the softball team might not be the best idea, at least not right now. I mean, the last thing I wanted was a relationship with one of them, but who didn’t like a little messing around?

Practice passed slowly, as usual, and eventually we were ending it with some field work as I watched from the dugout. They didn’t need me at the moment, which I didn’t mind because I liked watching the girls play, and especially in their tight shorts.

Then a ball was hit to centerfield where Emma was playing and she charged, knowing it was going to be short. She held out her glove and dove, allowing the ball to land into her glove as she glided over the grass on her stomach. She stood, and to my amazement threw the ball all the way back to home plate.

She was pretty fucking good.

They hit another round and finished, allowing us to be dismissed to go home before the sun set. I started walking towards the parking lot alone, leaving the field and crossing the street when I felt a light slap on my ass, and soon Emma was standing in front of me.

I smiled, stopping in my tracks, “You know, the last time someone did that to me I hit them.”

She shrugged, smirking, “You won’t hit me.”

I smiled to myself, realizing where this was already going, “Well then it’s only fair that I get to touch your ass too.”

She shook her finger at me, “Nope, I’m straight, remember? You’re gay, so that’s against the rules.”

I smirked, tilting my head and walking just a little closer to her, “I don’t follow the rules anyway.”

She sighed, looking at the time on her phone and then back up at me, “Oh and my answer is yes, I’ll marry you.”

I laughed, remembering how I had “popped the question” not too long ago. I shrugged, “Well that was easy.”

She shoved me, “Shut up.”

Then I heard my name, “Sam.”

I turned around, seeing Megan standing there looking as if she had seen the entire encounter between Emma and I. I looked back at Emma who shrugged, “See you tomorrow?”

I nodded, giving her a sexy smile as I turned to look at Megan, “What?”

She walked up to me, looking past my head and at Emma, and then folded her arms across her chest. She spoke, “You better not be trying to do what I think you are.”

I rolled my eyes, “What? Making friends? Is that illegal now, too?”

“You flirt an awful lot with your friends, then.”

I groaned, “I mean are you jealous? Cause that’s what you sound like.”

This kind of caught her off guard, and it actually did the same to me, but I couldn’t take it back now. She smiled sarcastically, “Actually, I was warning you that you better not get involved with any of these girls. I know how you like to fuck with emotions, and the last thing they need is to be worrying about you when they should be focused on school and their sport.”

I felt a nerve inside of me twitch in annoyance, and I laughed forcefully, “Yea, God forbid anyone start caring about me, right?”

I didn’t mean for my response to come out like that, but it was too late. I really needed to work on thinking before I spoke.

Megan seemed to lose her words after that, and she dropped her arms, “Sam I didn’t mean it like that-”

“Fuck you,” was all I could muster up, and I turned quickly, walking to my car to leave. Once again she had managed to completely ruin a moment and then my day. Once again she had accomplished to anger me and send me on my way close to fucking tears.

I was actually beginning to think she enjoyed doing this to me.

~ ~ ~ ~

I had come home Saturday night in a bad mood as I walked slowly into the apartment, wondering where Shawn was. He wasn’t here so I figured he was out with Megan somewhere, or with his friends or something. I didn’t know what to do because Blair was at her grandma’s visiting and I was stuck here with nothing to do.

All day I had done almost nothing, except straighten my room and run to the gas station for some cigarettes. Now I was back home wondering what the fuck I was going to do tonight, hoping it wouldn’t be watching some lame movie on Netflix.

Then before I could even make it to my room my phone rang out. I answered, “Hello?”

“Sam, it’s Ross, wanna chill?”

I sighed heavily into the phone, knowing that it usually a night with Ross ended with us doing drugs, or him wanting me to do something for him. Then again, it’s not like I had anything better to do anyway.

“Yea, I’ll be there in a few.”

~ ~ ~ ~

I drove up into Ross’s apartment complex, taking one last puff of my cigarette before throwing it out my window. I blew the hot smoke out between my lips as I walked up to his door, knocking three times to signal it was me.

Ross was weird about people being in his house, mostly because he held a lot of illegal shit in there. So to signal I wasn’t any harm it took three knocks, spaced out in a certain rhythm, and I heard him shuffling inside.

He opened the door, smiling, “Sam, what’s up?”

I nodded, “You were that bored or do you have something for me to do?”

He shrugged, “I was pretty bored but I figured we could talk. Since when did you start smoking cigarettes?”

I dropped my shoulders in answer, “Since Shawn bitched me out for smoking weed around his house.”

He sucked in some breath, “Ah yea, that sucks.”

I sat on his couch, looking up at Ross, noticing he actually was looking to chill. He wasn’t in his serious mood like he usually was when we talked about drugs, but he still held his stern demeanor.

He began, “So before we talk about anything else, I wanted to pitch this to you. I have a lot of new… clients at your school. Now, you know I don’t like you bringing stuff like that in there but I think we could really make some money.”

I looked at him with a concerned look, “You want me to sell that shit at school?”

He shrugged, “When’s the last time you had a drug search?”

Now that he brought it up it became apparent to me that we hadn’t had one in a years, and I shrugged, “Maybe my first sophomore year?”

“Exactly, which means there is no threat. Just don’t sell to any athletes or teachers and we’ll be fine.”

I rolled my eyes, leaning back on his couch, “How much?”

He stood, opening a drawer and pulled out quite a bit of green, speaking, “Sell all of these, each is fifty. The total should be five-hundred. Sell all of it and you’ll get your cut.”

He threw the big zip-lock to me and I caught it, opening it and smelling, realizing it was fresh. I nodded, “Ok.”

He sat next to me, holding up a joint, “Now we can have some fun.”