“Hi Tom,
If you had to date a Muggle, who would it be and why?”

Hello Sarah,

First off, let me just start by saying that I'd rather spend an entire day doing whatever Abraxas Malfoy told me to. I detest muggles and dating one is a recipe for disaster, I, of all people, should know that. Second, I don't really know any Muggles since I hate them. It'd have to be someone who wasn't stupid, as I can't abide stupid people, and they'd have to be loyal. They would also have to be pretty fearless, as they would witness torture and murder on a daily basis.

If you know anyone like this, please inform me. I don't actually care, nor am I likely to go looking for this person, but I want to sound polite, or at least, remotely interested. Again, I hate Muggles and wish to rid the world of them, along with all of the Mudbloods.

Sincerely,
Tom Riddle.