Gajeel said talk to him before doing stuff like this.....but one, me and him are having kind of a break, two I don't want him to have to worry about me or my safety. I wanna die........I have been feeling depressed, the only one I want to talk to.....well, things happened, I messed up, I called him a monster...He is the only one I really want to talk to, he is my hero, he is a friend......but most importantly he is my older brother, the person who I will always love and trust. He didn't tell me about his 'rough' past, but now knowing what happened, what he regrets...I forgive him. He means the world to me and I don't wanna lose him, but I also want him to worry about important things, not worrying about me getting in trouble or me having to say sorry a thousand time.....So I want to die and make everything better........but before all of that, I want to talk to Gajeel one last time...just have him say something, even if he says he hates me, it is good enough for me........It has not been that long but I miss him so much. But, nobody will help me stop this pain......so I have to suffer through it...I thought I could manage, but I guess I am weaker than I thought...I just wish...Gajeel would accept me.