Here's the thing: I'm part Dalmatian.

No, I'm kidding, but I do have pimples and other nasty things. It's AWFUL. Have you ever tried to find green foundation before? I've ended up using face paint to cover my marks.

Also, do in fact to my green hue, they aren't your normal pink, fleshy color. They're black. I literally have blackheads. A true nightmare.

But some Sophie has recently recommended cucumbers to hydrate my skin, so maybe that'll help.