December 20 I was having the greatest day ever... it was my birthday and I was waiting to come home and talk to everyone I enjoy talking to... I had a good day at school... my friends gave me presents... My mom gave me a new game for my PS4 and my friend Mary did the Spider-Man challenge on the lockers.

A day after... everything was fine until I get a message on Snapchat.

Stating that I can't ever contact someone ever again...

Everything changed from that moment 😔

My friends recognized something was up when I wasn't acting like I usually do.

I almost cried on video chat with Lizardflame

I never want to leave the house but that isn't an issue much.

My friends online and RL all want to help me feel better... it sorta works but I just feel more and more upset.

Then I realized why...

I'm depressed again... which is something I was hoping wouldn't happen anymore.

I have a cut on my arm but I didn't cut. It was from my cuzs dog. But deep down as I was watching the blood come out it was a good feeling seeing it all.

I'm telling my mom today that I need to do something to get my mind off of everything.

😞 I'm having very unpleasant thoughts like cutting and shit but I know my friends and family will kill me.

Ever since this all happened I can't focus in school or get any work done because everything comes swarming in...

I cry at night silently so my sister doesn't hear me.

I'm just sad about everything and I don't want anyone to interfere anymore... I'm just taking a break from social media... You'll see me voting on stories but I can't take the pressure.

If your still reading this go fucking ahead and call me names I already know.

Well let me tell you why I'm more depressed.

I was bullied in middle school
I miss my dad 😰 He's in jail and I'm kinda lazy to write him but I want to see him
I miss my girl more then anything
I was always called names like weak...useless...can't do anything right...idiot... worthless...

"You have no friends..."

"Your such an idiot."

"Your gonna die alone."

I've been broken...for the first actual time I broke.

I just want everything to just go away! Like I already have tears in my eyes just writing this... 😥😥😥

Thank you Lizardflame EVOLVED_LUCID makelapidotcanon you guys made me feel happy when I needed to...

I'm glad for that 🙂