21/ Jealous
Hey, I've been dealing with a lot of jealousy for two of my best friends and I don't know what to do.
So I have two best friends, one boy one girl. Let's call them Arthur and Amelia.
So me and Arthur used to be good friends, we'd text and call on Skype but recently, ever since I've been ranting to them how I sometimes feel depressed. Arthur has slowly been replacing me with Amelia.
Now I barely talk to him unless I'm playing video games with him and almost every time we text, he always makes me talk in a group with Amelia too.
And I'm just getting really upset over it because I'm starting to feel as if he would be off just talking to her.
And a lot of our friends are suspecting that they are dating even though Amelia has a boyfriend!
And whenever I try to talk to them about it they tell me I'm just overthinking or they don't care. And whenever I ask Arthur if he likes Amelia he says no. He even tells that to other people.
And I'm having trouble talking to Amelia because she is always mentioning inside jokes in between her and him and I'm so tired of it! She even tells me things that Arthur tells her in private chats and I get jealous because he doesn't tell me those things.
And it just sucks because I have tried telling them but it just seems like my whining is useless.
And it's gone to the point where I end up comparing myself to Amelia because Arthur started ditching me after I started ranting to him how I sometimes feel depressed.
Is feeling depressed a bad thing?
And I know I shouldn't get jealous of their friendship but by now I'm already guessing Arthur likes Amelia. He treats her differently than everyone else and in my friend group, everyone else he treats differently have happened to be depressed at some point in their life -.-
What should I do?
It seems like Arthur is having a hard time understanding and accepting your depression, and that's why he's distancing himself from you. You need to sit him down and tell him straight what having depression is and what it feels like, because in his head, he's probably thinking that you're going to turn into a completely different person due to your depression.
He's being insensitive because he's uneducated about the matter.
As for this whole thing with Amelia, in my mind this looks like Arthur may have a crush on her. Treating some differently, denying that you like them, always wanting to talk with them etc are classic tell-tell signs that he's got a crush on her. He won't admit it because she has a boyfriend, but I think you should watch his actions towards her for the next few days and see if you notice any big giveaways that he likes her romantically.
If he does, you need to tell him that crushing on someone with a boyfriend is a loser's game because he'll always end up hurt. And if that's the reason why he's been ignoring you, because he wants to spend time with his crush alone, tell him that that's a real d@ck move. Hopefully you'll be able to get him to see some sense, whether that be understanding depression or giving up his crush.
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