Remus: I got a dare from Queen-Slytherdor

Remus: And it says-

Remus: *face drops*

Remus: Okay you know what? Fuck this game I'm not doing it!

Virgil: What? What happened Ree? What does it say?

Remus Oh wouldn't you like to know!?

Virgil: Um I actually would?

Remus: *frustrated sigh* It says Remus you should know better by now. I dare Remus to eat actual food with no trash or weird stuff on it for a week.

Virgil: Told you that you were gonna jinx yourself Ree

Remus: You see Virgil there's this thing called not expecting people to be so cruel and actually fucking do it!

Virgil: Yeah but the more you say it, the more you're gonna tempt someone to actually do it

Remus: *crosses his arms* I'm not doing it

Virgil: Oh c'mon Remus at least try

Remus: Nope not doing it!

Virgil: *gets an idea*

Virgil: Okay how about this Ree? If you can go a whole week eating actual food without disgusting stuff on it I'll give you a little reward

Remus: *looks at Virgil suspiciously* What's the reward?

Virgil: Nope you'll find out until you finish your dare

Remus: Oh c'mon can I at least get a hint!?

Virgil: All I'm gonna say is that I know for a fact that you're gonna love it

Remus: Ugh I hate it when you're just so vague!

*Time Skip*

Janus: *in the kitchen*

Remus: *walks in the kitchen* Hey Jan um

Remus: Can I have a pickle?

Janus: What sauce will it be today? Ketchup? Hot sauce? Mustard?

Remus: Um uh no sauce on it just the pickle itself

Janus: *surprised* Oh uh okay?

Janus: *about to give Remus the pickle jar but stops*

Janus: You sure you don't want anything on it?

Remus: Yup I'm sure nothing on it...

Janus: Okay?

Janus: *gives Remus the pickle jar*

Remus: *takes the pickle jar* Thanks...

Remus: Oh and uh Jan can you help me make a sandwich later?

Remus: Just a regular sandwich...

Janus: Okay who are you and what have you done with Remus?

Remus: What can't a duke just come in the mindpalace kitchen and eat a jar of pickles around here!?

Janus: *gives Remus a look* What was the dare?

Remus: *sighs* Okay so basically I have to eat actual food without disgusting stuff for a whole week

Remus: I didn't want to do it at first cause I was like "No fuck that I'm not doing it" but then Virgil bribed me by saying if I could go the full week I'll get a reward that I'll apparently love 

Janus: *smirking* Look at you being a healthy boy

Remus: *glares at Janus*

Janus: *smirks and pats Remus on the back* Welp get to chomping you trash rat

Remus: *opens the jar of pickles and takes out a pickle*

Remus: *hesitates and takes a deep breath in and out* You can do this Remus

Remus: *bites the pickle and eats it*

Remus: Okay this is actually pretty tolerable 

Remus: *eats the rest of the pickle*

*Time Skip*

Patton: *making pancakes*

Remus: *walks in the kitchen*

Patton: *sees Remus* Oh hey Remus!

Remus: Hi Patty um

Remus: Can I have some pancakes?

Patton: Of course you can Remus! What do you want on it cause I know how ya feel about eating your food plain kiddo?

Remus: No just plain pancakes is fine...

Patton: *surprised* Oh well that's a first Remus

Remus: *mumbles* Yeah and it'll be the last

Remus: *nervous laughter* Oh y'know I just wanna try something new is all!

Patton: Well okay I'll be sure to whip up those pancakes for you in a second kiddo!

 Remus: Thanks...

*A Few Moments Later*

Patton: *finishes making the pancakes and gives Remus a plate of it*

Remus: *takes the plate of pancakes*

Patton: *puts syrup on Remus' pancakes* Enjoy kiddo!

Remus: Thanks...

Remus: *hesitates*

Remus: *thinking* Do it for the reward! Do it for the reward! Do it for the reward!

Remus: *takes a bite out of the pancake*

Remus: *swallows and tries not to gag* Mmmm

Patton: You like em?

Remus: *still trying not to gag* I love them now I see why you guys eat this stuff plain now...

Patton: Well I'm glad you enjoy them kiddo!

Remus: *finishes the rest of the pancakes and quickly gives Patton the plate back*

Patton: *takes the plate*

Remus: *runs out of the kitchen to go vomit* Thanks Patty

Patton: No problem Remus!

*Time Skip*

Virgil: *sees Remus eating chocolate pudding*

Virgil: *looks at Remus suspiciously* Remus what are you eating?

Remus: *eating the pudding in disgust* Sugar free pudding cause Jan is forcing me to and he won't let me have actual sugar

Virgil: *takes the pudding and smells it*

Virgil: *takes a small scoop of the pudding and eats it*

Virgil: *gives Remus the pudding cup back* Okay you're good it's not mud you can continue

Remus: *rolls his eyes and takes the pudding cup back and continues eating it in disgust*

*Time Skip*

Virgil: *trying to feed Remus a grape* 

Remus: *moving his head away*

Virgil: *still trying to feed Remus a grape* Remus!

Remus: *moving his head away* No!

Virgil: Remus come on they're good for you!

Remus: You do realize when you say that it makes me not want to eat it even more than I already don't want to right!?

Virgil: *frustrated sigh* Remus please!

Remus: No!

Virgil: *gets an idea*

Virgil: Y'know Remus I actually tricked you into thinking these were grapes but they're actually eyeballs disguised as grapes

Remus: *gasps* OOH!

Virgil: *smirks and feeds Remus the grape*

Remus: *eats the grape and swallows it*

Remus: *gags* Nope not worth it! Not worth it!

Virgil: *laughs*

Remus: At this rate you might as well take Jan's job cause you lied! It was a grape!

Virgil: It got you to eat it didn't it?

Remus: *rolls his eyes and grumbles*

Virgil: *giggles*

*Time Skip*

Remus: *staring at the bottle of dish soap*

Remus' Brain: EAT IT!!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO~ BUT THE REWARD... WHAT IF HE WAS LYING ABOUT THE REWARD? NOBODY NEEDS TO KNOW~ DO IT OCTO BOY BEFORE SOMEONE CATCHES YOU!!!

Remus: *looks to the left and to the right and grabs the bottle of dish soap*

Remus: *about to drink the bottle of dish soap*

Virgil: *walks in the kitchen* Remus what are you doing!?

Remus: *jumps and drops the bottle of dish soap in the sink and faces Virgil* Nothing! I was just uh

Remus: *grabs an apple* About to eat this apple!

Remus: *nervous laughter*

Remus: *bites the apple and chews it in disgust* Mmm so healthy and delicious...

Remus: *swallows and gags*  Yup so tasty...

Virgil: *smirks and pinches Remus' cheek* Well I'm glad you're being healthy

Virgil: *kisses Remus' cheek and walks away*

Remus: *looks up* A week! It just had to be a week!? Why!? Why!?

*Time Skip*

Remus: *sits down at the dinner table*

Roman: *takes out his katana and points it at Remus* Who are you and what have you done with my brother!?

Remus: *puts his hands up* Relax Romano it's actually me

Roman: *puts his katana away* But you never sit down and eat dinner with us, let alone eat an actual meal at all

Remus: Well I um-

Janus: I told him if he eats dinner with us tonight without adding stuff to his food I'd give him a sugary reward

Remus: *looks at Janus*

Janus: *winks and continues eating his dinner*

Roman: Oh well then if that's the case then eat your ravioli! 

Roman: I must witness you injesting delicious sustenance cause even as kids I never even seen you eat an actual meal before!

Remus: I-I uh-

Janus: *smirks* Well you heard your brother Remus eat your dinner

Virgil: *smirking* Yeah Ree don't you want that reward Jan promised you?

Remus: *glares at Virgil and Janus*

Patton: I hope you enjoy it kiddo! I made it with extra love just for you!

Janus: *dramatic gasps* AND Patton made it with extra love? Oh now you definitely have to eat your dinner Remus

Remus: *glares at Janus* I was going to anyways

Janus: *smirking* Then do it

Remus: *glaring at Janus* I will

Remus: *eats all of his ravioli as he glares at Janus*

Remus: *trying not to vomit* Done

Roman: Oh my stars he actually did it!

Patton: *clapping* Yay Remus!

All: *clap*

Virgil: See Ree wasn't that good?

Remus: Uh yup I'm getting a little tired so I'll see you guys later bye!

Remus: *runs out the kitchen to go vomit*

Roman: *wipes a single tear off his face* I've never been more proud of him in my entire life

*Time Skip*

Remus: Virgil fuck the reward I can't do this anymore! 

Remus: I'm done I just can't do it!

Virgil: *laughing*

Remus: What? What's so funny? Why are you laughing?

Virgil: I'm laughing because you actually did make the full week Ree!

Remus: Wait really? I did?

Virgil: Yeah yesterday was your last day

Remus: *surprised* Oh!

Remus: I knew I could do it! I never doubted myself for a second!

Virgil: *playfully rolls his eye*

Remus: Now... Where's my reward for my suffering!?

Virgil: Oof you see the thing is Ree I lied 

Virgil: There was no reward in the first place I just wanted to see if you would actually do it

Remus: ...

Virgil: *laughs* I'm kidding I'm kidding you actually have two rewards

Remus: I do?

Virgil: *nods his head* Mmhmm

Virgil: *wraps his arms around Remus' neck* Your first reward...

Remus: *wraps his arms around Virgil's waist* Yeah?

Virgil: Is this

Virgil: *kisses Remus on the lips*

Remus: *kisses Virgil back*

Virgil: *pulls away slowly* And your second reward is-

Remus: Can I have the first reward again?

Virgil: *smirks* You will later but your second reward is in your room

Remus: *lets go of Virgil and runs to his room to see it filled with a bunch of deodorant*

Remus: *gasps*

Remus: *runs back to the room where Virgil is and tackles him to the floor*

Remus: *showering Virgil's face with kisses* Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Virgil: *blushing and laughing* You're welcome you earned it

Remus: *pulls Virgil close and squeezes him in a hug* You're the best husband ever!

Virgil: *smiles*

Remus: *stops squeezing Virgil and kisses his cheek*

Remus: *still on the floor holding Virgil close and sighs* I love you so much

Virgil: *smiles* I love you too Ree

Remus: *smiles*

Virgil: Was it worth it?

Remus: Hell yeah it was!

Virgil: *smirking* Would you do it again?

Remus: Fuck no!

Virgil: *laughs*