Requested by cosmostar123

The night before

Jason: what the f*ck is that?! *points gun*

Damian: it is a turkey you imbecile!

Jason: *puts gun away* pfft, I knew that.

Damian: *rolls eyes*

Dick: ok tim what dose it say next in the recipe book?

Tim: *looks at book while wrapping Alfred's present* it says to season it then put it in the slow cooker

Dick: ok *reaches for seasoning but it's not there* huh?

Jason: *sneezes from seasoning then shoots the jar and seasoning goes everywhere* stupid p...p...powder *sneezes again*

Dick: Jason you idiot that was the seasoning!

Jason: *sniffles* so just go get some more then

Tim: the stores are all closed, it's Christmas Eve and it's 7pm, it's dark, We live in Gotham. Even if we go out there's a high risk of being hurt or worse.

Jason: just go in as nightwing

Dick: fine then I'll break in as nightwing and get the seasoning that way but Jason you're coming along

Jason: what?! Why?!

Dick: one,it's your fault and two, you are a professional at breaking into stores and I don't wanna be seen at all so I need-

Jason: you need my help? Hah this is great!

Dick: I don't need your he-

Jason: c'mon dickhead admit you need my help

Dick: I don't! I just want you to tag along!

Jason: sure....*smirks*

Dick: whatever lets just go!

Jason: *laughs* fine, ok then let's go and nightwing please try to keep up.

Dick: with what?

Jason: my awesomeness.

Damian: pfft please...

THE STORE AFTER THE SYSTEMS HAVE BEEN HACKED INTO....

Jason: *walks in isle* So dick are you excited for Christmas tomorrow? I can't wait to open all my sweet new presents!

Dick: Christmas isn't about presents Jason

Jason: what is it about then, family? *smirks*

Dick: yes it actually is

Jason: sure it is *walks into alcohol isle and hides beer in jacket*

*rat runs into something making a noise*

Jason: *takes out gun*

Dick: Red hood is that you?!

Jason: no! I don't think we are alone!

Dick: ok then just whatever you do,don't shoot anyone!

Jason: pshht, I wasn't going to anyways *puts away gun awkwardly*

Dick: good.

Jason: *walks into cooking isle* hey I found it *puts it into pocket*

Dick: *walks up behind Jason*

Jason: hah! *smashes beer bottle on dick's head* dick I got him!

Dick:.....

Jason: *looks around* dick? Oh sh*t... *looks at dick on the floor*

Jason: uh dick please wake up....

*system reboots and alarm goes off*

Jason: crap I'm dead! The cops will be here in less then ten minutes!

Jason: *takes out phone and calls home*

Alfred: hello? This is Wayne manor...

Jason: *sirens in the background* Alfred give the phone to Damian and Tim!

Alfred: master Jason is that sirens I hear?

Jason: now!

*alfred hands phone to Damian and Tim on speaker*

Tim: sirens? What's wrong?!

Jason: dick is unconscious and the cops are coming! Hurry!

Tim: ok we'll be right there! *hangs up*

Five minutes later....

Cop: GCPD! Put your hands in the air red hood!

Jason: what?! I though we were good now!

Cop: he's got a hostage be careful!

Jason: *whispers* oh so he's a hostage? Great...

Jason: one more step and I blow his brains out!

*cops stop moving Tim and Damian arrive without them noticing.*

Tim: *whispers* what are you doing?

Jason: *whispers* get dick out of here, I'm distracting the cops

Tim: *whispers* ok, Damian you take the bottom half and I'll handle the top

Damian: *whispers annoyed* fine but don't relay on me to do this again because I won't!

Present day

Barbara: so that's why he's angry, he was hit on the head too hard? Is it a permanent affect?

Tim: no

Jason: no amazing, wonderful Barbara!

Dick: shut up!

Barbara: what's with Jason being nice?

Tim: he's only doing it for presents, just like Damian

Barbara: oh right then....well at least nobody is in hospital this year, this Christmas is ok.

Tim: yeah *chuckles*, we've had worse