My mind bursts with frustration.

I have to tell Knottedstar.

I can't do it.

Yes you can.

No I can't.

You have to!

She'll be afraid of you. You're just as dangerous as she was afraid of.

I don't know who's doing the talking anymore. I don't keep track of who squabbles in the space between my ears, ever since I learned what I really am.

It's been two weeks since Jadekit fled into the tunnels and my mind has never been louder and the clan has never seemed so morally ambiguous. There's those who want to save Jadekit and a few who want to keep her out of the camp at any cost, and both side's morals are questionable.

They know I'm a freak already, but Sparrowkit is far luckier. He's already played down his talent as a 'quirk' he's grown out of. I watch him chatting idly with the apprentices. Sunpaw is down in a hunting crouch, demonstrating for him, while Rubypaw and Hazelpaw brag about their own hunting skills. I watch Cloudfrost and Duststorm come in and take them away. They exchange an anxious glance before padding off.

"Do you think they're going to get their warrior assessments?" asks Emberstreak, sitting near myself and the other kits (by the river, which the nursery is close to), sunning herself on the bank.

By her side, Snowpelt, who is watching the river for fish, mutters, "I hope so. They never do anything but gossip. What a waste of prey."

Emberstreak flattens her ears. "Well, they're my waste of prey, and you should at least show a little respect to my kits."
Snowpelt's ears flatten. "I'll start respecting them when they start pulling their weight."

Emberstreak catches my gaze, and she snaps, "What are you looking at, Rushkit? Maybe my kits aren't the only ones who need to learn respect."

I open my mouth but only manage to murmur a quick "Sorry" before heading off in the opposite direction, stopping to rest by the DarkClan bush. It's a lot more cramped these days, which is a sign recruiting is going well, or potentially just that we're getting bigger.

"Are you alright, Rushcall?" My ears perk as I hear the sound of Novakit's voice from behind. It's soft and genuinely concerned, so unlike the dry echoed tone of warriors saying it to kits they barely know.

I spring to my feet, eyes wide, and reply, "Y-yes, Novastar."

"Doesn't look like it." he says quietly. He shrugs it off nonchalantly and meets my gaze again, this time with an air of excitement replacing the gentle caring. "We're going to go on a patrol of our territory. You should come!"

Crowkit is standing a ways off, clearly waiting for Novakit and I. I'm surprised Nettlekit isn't there, and neither is Goldenkit, but I'm sure there's probably something else they could do around camp. I mean, I always find something to do, but that's because I'm a 'good listener'. I pad after them, patrolling the same twenty-six trees that border our camp while pretending to be profoundly interested in landmarks we already know about.

When we get back to the nursery, the other kits are already there and all of them are sharing tongues. Usually, sharing tongues in the nursery includes lots of play fighting and teasing, but no one attacks me. I haven't been hurt since I was little and Nettlekit chipped my ear (which still has the cut in it, my mother says it may never heal). Novakit is always watching over me, and he takes on the honor of fighting for me, though my teeth and claws are needle sharp and my training from Knottedstar makes me about as deadly as a seven moon old apprentice.

However, tonight, I don't particularly want to fight. I lay myself down and as the nursery calms down, I am hit with a startling realization.

I can't sleep.

Insomnia hits me harder than a badger paw to the face and I sit with my face down beneath my mother and kits struggling to sleep, but slowly, I can feel their breathing relax and the night continues on at the pace of a speeding snail. Crickets come out, warriors go to sleep, the night guard is decided to make sure nothing nasty comes out of the tunnels. It was three warriors the first night, but as it drains the workforce quickly, it's only one warrior in quick shifts now. There are about six guards a night, so it cycles through quickly.

The second guard is coming out when the bush rustles. It's a small motion, one no one who wasn't paying attention wouldn't have caught, but I noticed simply because it was the DarkClan bush and I was thinking about DarkClan and how it would be way better to be down there right now, sleeping in the DarkClan bush like all the kits in DarkClan keep saying we'll do.

A kit sneaks out of the bush. Angry green eyes meet mine and claws unsheathe.

Jadekit is back in the camp.

The guard hasn't noticed her yet. The shape, mottled by moonlight, just so happens to be Titanfoot, who would love to hear about it more than anyone.

My mouth opens and then closes. Jadekit retreats back into the bush and peeks out again once she sees I'm silent.

She mouths something to me and looks down at her claws. She's challenging me. My fur prickles, but I try to keep it flat. Should I run to her?

The first thought is that I've been through the exact same scenario before.

Nighttime escapades? Potential peril? Well, I didn't leave camp last time, but there's no telling where she'll go now.

My second thought is that I could live the rest of my life regretting not going after her.

Jade turns and disappears into the bushes.

"H-hey! Come back!"

Titanfoot's on guard, and though she doesn't hear the tiny footsteps and slight rustle of the bush, she sure as StarClan hears me yell after her. "Rushkit?"

"Jadekit was in the bush!" I exclaim, waking up more warriors who realize that once again I've gotten myself into the middle of something I shouldn't.

Titanfoot looks incredulous, but upon sniffing the air, she looks vaguely hopeful. "She really was here..."
Knottedstar rushes out. "Are we in danger?"

"Just Jadekit. We... we should go after her." Titanfoot says urgently.

"She'll be heading for the tunnels. Take Carbonfrost and Duststorm, they're some of our fastest warriors. I'll guard for the time being."

Knottedstar narrows her eyes and watches me, but she says nothing. It's common with her, as if she expects my eyes to be able to talk back. She sits guard silently as the warriors head out, Titanfoot urgently pacing ahead, and Duststorm and Carbonfrost looking exasperated and quite tired, despite potentially being startled awake. Neither of them are in favor of having another dangerous kit on their paws, but overt murder is definitely not an option.

Knottedstar watches them leave and turns back towards the exit. "You should head back to sleep."

"I-" I say, but I cut myself off, not knowing what to say.

This time, the bushes don't rustle until it's too late. A blur of gray fur jumps at me, claws extended, and Knottedstar is halfway across camp. She bolts across immediately, but already it's too late. Jadekit dives straight for my throat, hoping potentially to kill me.

They say time slows down when you're about to die, but I took everything- every little detail- in within a single split second and then it was all rushing past at a blur.

I remember a voice.

Not today.

A very different energy fills me from Ashleap's, an energy fast and painful instead of ethereal and warm. It shoots through me like a million bolts of lightning and my body twists to dodge her, just in time to expose my throat. Knottedstar bolts over to stop the next attack, but my reactions are split second and as Jadekit jumps for my throat, my claws extend and I pounce upwards to drive my paws like a guillotine straight down into her back, aiming for the jugular vein. She does not wail or meow. The sound that comes from her mouth is one pure, intensely long scream that keeps going until her breath stops and her head rests silently in a pool of her own blood.

Knottedstar throws me off the body, getting her own paws bloodied. The others are awoken, once again beginning to congregate, and Knottedstar tells them with great pride, "Rushkit has just saved us all from a vicious rogue attack!"