The clan does not speak when they see the body. Those who were in favor of Jadekit leaving and the cats who were in favor of trying to save her both are terrified when they see the small body, the blood on Knottedstar's paws, and the blood on my own paws. Knottedstar looks up at the clan, and for a second, there's a flicker of fear or perhaps remorse in her eyes.

My own heart is beating wildly, and the gaze of the clan shifts to me. I find myself growing closer to Knottedstar's paws, but she offers no comfort.
"You killed her." mutters Cloudfrost.

"What happened?"
"Knottedstar, that's a kit!" Titanfoot says angrily.
"No. As much as I'd like to believe otherwise, it was not. Jade returned to camp and went straight for the nursery, hoping to attack the kits. Upon seeing Rushkit, Jade flung herself at her with the full intent of killing Rushkit. It was only due to Rushkit's talents as well as my training that she was able to defend herself and unfortunately this also meant killing Jade. Rushkit was fighting primarily at my command, and as you can see, I helped." She holds up one bloody paw. "Anyone who would like to disagree with my orders, please step forwards."

No one moves, not even Titanfoot. The kits in the nursery are watching too now, all of them looking at my battle scars with shock.

"Let this be a lesson to all of us: the tunnel spirits are not only restless but dangerous, and if we do not destroy them, they will destroy us." Knottedstar hisses. "We must increase the patrols again. Night guards will shift to two cats at a time. Do I make myself clear?"

"You're worse than Shadowstar," hisses someone from the back. Knottedstar wheels around, eyes narrowed and dangerous. She catches no one's gaze and no one knows who the ominous voice belongs to.

"Am I?" replies Knottedstar. "We all knew Shadowstar. She would've let everything happen. The kits in the nursery would be dead right now."

The clan murmurs in quiet distress, but it's doubtful that they're all convinced.

"You think that Jade was harmless. Well, I have to ask the older warriors- do you remember the last time tunnel cats were allowed to thrive in this clan? Blood stained the clan's children red. A warrior was killed bringing down one of the last of the anomalies. Anything and everything can be dangerous when backed into a corner."
"It's true." Carbonfrost says. "I remember."
"As do I. I cared for one of the kits myself. It is a blessing that my own children, Rubypaw and Hazelpaw, still survive to this day." Amberstreak stands up, and Rubypaw and Hazelpaw stand with her.

One by one, clan cats stand up, offering painfully vague stories about this kit, the other kit, how doom fell upon the clan, but not one bothers to go into detail. In fact, they all look as if going further would be immensely difficult, as if they've forgotten the rest of the story.

Knottedstar nods. "Regardless, we will bury the kit. Titanfoot, as her closest friend, I'd imagine you'd like to. However, this dark spirit had memories of Shadowstar. If any of you would like to think of this as an end to her as well, you may help."

"That wasn't my mom." Novakit says, "It was a monster."
"If you are sure of that, then you have made yourself safe from her tricks." Knottedstar purrs. "Very good."

I look around at the clan, but they aren't staring at me anymore. Somehow, with only a pawful of words, Knottedstar has managed to completely avert any blame from me. She looks down at me and grooms me with her tongue as the warriors return to sleep, one by one. Rubypaw and Hazelpaw stay to help bury the kit's ragged body.

Knottedstar returns to her den without another word to me, but still appalled by her brevity, I follow, my eyes intent on her lithe and powerful form.

"How did you..." I say.

"Quieter. How did I what?" She curls up into her den.

"How did you make them less angry at me?" I ask, shuffling my paws. My heart is still pounding from what I did, though the spirit within me who did the deed for me numbs the pain. Whatever lives within me had murdered too many times to see it as anything more than a sacrifice for the greater good.

"I just told them what they wanted to hear. That you're a hero, that the death was not your fault, and that Jade was too much of a monster to be saved." Her eyes open but she does not move.

"Does that make you a liar?" I ask, but regret the words soon as I've said them. Knottedstar's eyes slit and I back up, not wanting to infuriate her. The power and anger she radiates is terrifying even before she has opened her mouth.

Eventually, I catch her quiet speech again, her tone barely shifted. "It makes me an efficient leader. Perhaps I am a tyrant, or perhaps a martyr in the name of the safety of my clanmates, but I tell you this, my job is to keep everyone safe. Sometimes claws are not the most effective weapon to do so."

I nod. "I wish I could do that."

"Maybe you will. There are things within you that could make you a powerful speaker. You have three lives worth of experience to draw from- both spirits I have seen within you and your own."

I turn to go, but curiousity and something deep within me turns me carefully back. I feel another's words through my own mouth. "Knottedstar, what's the difference between Jade and I? We're both anomalies, right?"
"Yes, but StarClan said that you're important to us, didn't they?"

There's no other answer I need, at least not for now. Satisfied, I return to my den, and fall asleep looking up at the stars, wondering if Jade got there or if her angry spirit still lies beneath the tunnels.

***

It's a beautiful morning, but the sun is still dyed red as it rises and the sky reflects that. The trees, almost empty of leaves, clutch the blood colored sky in their ugly branches.

Novakit is standing outside, watching the warriors leave. I approach him cautiously, barely standing after last night. "That'll be us soon, right, Rushkit?"

"Oh... uh... what?" I say, barely awake. "We aren't warriors. We're just... just kits."

"We're five moons now. That just leaves one moon left, huh?" His tone is different now. He sounds impersonal and detached.

"It feels like a lot longer than that." I say, looking up at the trees. I don't want to meet his gaze.

"It might have been longer for you. You've got the other spirits within you, remember? How long have they been here?"

"Always." I answer, sure of my choice. "But that doesn't matter, right? It's just me now. I'm not them."

"Are you sure?"

"No." I say.

His face becomes longer, older, and changes to that of a she-cat. His body grows longer before me until all that's left is an unrecognizable gray cat with blue eyes. "Are you really sure?" she asks, her tone slightly sinister. "Didn't you enjoy it?"

"Enjoy what?"
"Murder."

Her claws unsheathe and tear through me as I scream loudly, begging for it to stop. I can feel her claws hit bone and my left back paw lashes out, hitting fur, and there's an 'oof!' as I hit Sparrowkit.

It was just a dream.

However, some part of me still believes that next time it might not be.