GRETA

It's cooler outside in my god's temple. Quieter too.

I don't want to think I belong here. I certainly can't sleep in my noyk. At least, I am big enough to crawl out of it now.

Big.

I am big.

Bigger than Enoch.

My hands are meatier and my stomach heavier because of all the sweets my god has been giving to me. Some god he really turned out to be...

I know everything now, but I'm not afraid of Adler.

I'm just disappointed, but the word doesn't feel quite right. I've begun to accept the wrong he's done and the wrong I've done too.

This is not a good place for me anymore. Never has my mind become such a dangerous place. I've been feeling strange and I'm not sure when the feeling started.

My god has at least found someone else to talk to.

I do not belong in his temple.

A tall shadow steps away from the wall beside me -- one of Adler's many guards.

"Greta? Where are you going?" Brommy asks me.

"I don't feel good," I mumble while walking around him. "I'm just getting some air, Brommy."

"He's making love to that whore in there, isn't he?"

I've never heard Brommy sound so angry.

"Cephine isn't a whore, Brommy."

His arm wraps around my shoulder as he walks with me to the courtyard.

"Have you ever slept with a man?"

"No," I frown at his blunt question. "I don't know why I would. I much rather sleep with someone more like me. I won't be treated equal otherwise."

"More like you? What do you mean by that?"

"I rather not talk about it. All I can say is I wish I would have been born a man. Then, I suppose it would be easier to focus on my own goals. Enoch thinks I'm his father's whore now. He wouldn't say that if he saw me now. Brommy, I am fatty and misshapen. I still have a limp. I look old. I feel it too."

No one is going to love my dead grey skin and thick discolored hair. I've been eating and sleeping too much.

The worst pain is in my head. I want it to go away.

"Did you know Adler cried when Zard stole you away? He loves you, but he is depressed, Greta. He has done too much bad. It rots his mind when he dwells on it. Makes him buy more whores and kill them. The world is against him. You are either a tool or nothing to him. His mind doesn't work like yours."

"He told me so before."

Brommy sits down on the fountain's edge.

"Has he told you I'm his brother?"

"No, but I guessed as much."

"Come here so I may tell you more."

Intrigued, I travel to the fountain beside him.

"Firstly, you may be fatter, but you are more voluptuous this way. Cloudy grey eyes and luscious plump blue lips. Not to mention, you are an empirical guard."

"I don't want to be here anymore, Brommy. I want to be normal. It is time I leave and find my own life without the help of your...family."

Brommy stands up. He rubs his chin while looking into the water of the fountain.

"Stay with Mirth and I. You can help her take care of the women she shelters."

"Thank you, Brommy, but I wish to find my own job...and my own place to stay."

"When do you plan on leaving?"

"Tonight," I admit with a small smile.

"You are loved here, Greta. If you leave, you will face trouble. Down below in the city, you will be shunned for your natural appearance-"

"You sound like Enoch. I know I am ugly!" my voice shakes. "I am being punished by him. I just want to be happy, Brommy. I am not happy here. This is not who I want to be."

Leaves in the bush behind my trainer rustle. My heart hammers as my god steps out.

His flesh is fully exposed, and in his hand, a whip lays dragged on the floor. He is...naked.

Brommy's voice hardens. "Adler, good evening."

How can Brommy be so formal when seeing Adler in such a state?

"Come back to bed, little pearl. We'll talk inside."

I fold my arms not wanting to look at him. 

"I don't want to go with y-you."

"I ran all the way out here when I woke. You did not go back in your noyk. I'm sorry for my appearance, but I was very worried and did not have time to put on my tunic."

Brommy steps in front of me.

His voice raises, "What are you playing at? Zard is still on the loose and you're messing around with the bait. Our city is on fire! Open your eyes. The moment Enoch takes care of this mess you've neglected you will be executed by the will of the people. Your sins have been exposed. Look at yourself, disgusting!" he yells.

Adler shoves Brommy to the side. I scream feeling his damp, blood-soaked hands pick me up. Why is there blood on his hands? Oh, it must be wine. I can smell it now.

"I'm sorry we woke you, my sweet. Don't be afraid-"

"Let go of me!" I demand while pulling his hair. "I know Cephine does not like me and neither do you. I'm an inconvenience. I don't blame her for not liking me. I don't know why anyone would. I just want you to be happy so you'll stop being so selfish and cruel. My happiness never mattered," I growl in his ear.

He goes still, letting me land on the ground. His hand moves over his chest as if taken away by my words.

"If you wish to go, I will not stop you."

Curls dangle down sloppily around his face. My heart hurts when I catch his distraught gaze. He is no god of mine anymore.

He only loves himself.

"Goodbye."

I don't know what else to say. Moving through and around the many bushes I go.

Neither man follows me.

Neither man should.

I want to be alone.

☁️