Chapter Three

By the time I made it home from Gerard's Vic had already left Kellin's, so it was just the two of us eating stir fried noodles and watching crappy TV that night. Luckily as it was late July, we didn't have college in the morning. This meant we could binge on netflix all we liked without the guilt setting in, meaning it was gone 1am when we turned off the screen and headed to bed.

It was comforting to feel so welcomed there though, like I was some sort of brother to Kellin who had every right to live there. He certainly made me feel that way anyway, or perhaps that was just his naturally good hosting skills. After all, i'd never met someone so willing to host so many parties round his house with so few invites in return (these days parents weren't exactly lenient on the whole house party scene.)

Nonetheless I was grateful, and made sure he knew it by thanking him probably a little too much.

"Shut up Frank" he'd rolled his eyes at one point, as the two of us stood at the top of the stairs "I like having you around, ok? Just quit with the constant thank you's though, I get it."

"Sorry" I couldn't help but laugh a little at myself and the way that I was probably just going to piss him off at the rate I was going.

"Just get some sleep and stop acting like I saved your life or something" He turned and headed in the direction of his own bedroom, and already I could feel a routine or sorts slipping into place. A domestic one, where we were both already getting accustomed and comfortable with living with each other. It was starting to seem more natural to be heading into that spare bedroom, like it could be my own in time.

***

I slept perfectly that night, and by the time I woke up the next day, I even felt more rested than normal. Perhaps it was just the shock of the change setting though. Although the familiarity of my phone ringing piercing my ears certainly brought me back to reality.

With a groan I rolled over and looked down at the screen through glazed eyes, which foucsed immediatley when they saw Ian's caller ID on the screen, glaring up at me like the foreboding sign it had come to be.

I quickly answered, not wanting to anger him, and leaning back against the bed with the phone pressed tightly to my ear, volume turned down low so that Kellin wouldn't overhear too much. As much as he already knew about the drug drops, i'd still rather keep him in the dark when it came to exactly what my plans were.

"What?" I groaned, my tone of voice similar to a small child being summoned to do it's chores as opposed to the drug dealing that I was actually being faced with. Maybe if i had been more awake I would've started with a 'hello', but at that point I really couldn't be asked with the formalities.

"Quit moaning Iero" came his sharp reply, making me open my eyes properly and prop myself up on one elbow.

"Sorry, what is it?"

"A... Delivery... Has been made at Dewees house and I need you to go pick it up. I've got a client on the other side of town that wants it brought to his house this time."

"I thought I was just doing drops, not actually delivering the stuff door to door" I tried to keep the groan of protest out of my voice, but a bit slipped through.

"You'll do whatever I damn well tell you to" he immediately snapped back "and you'll do it as soon as I say. Unless you fancy the alternative?"

"Fine" I didn't even want to hear what he'd do if I didn't comply. I'd seen enough of his violent side to last me a lifetime. "Where does this guy live?"

"I left the address with Dewees, he'll give it to you when you get round there. And I expect you to be round there within the hour. This client doesn't like to wait, nor do I like to chase after you with orders. So make it fast." Each word was more threatening than the last, and all I could do was listen and try to think of the quickest way to Dewees house.

"Okay" i would have to shower later and just stick with throwing on a new t-shirt with yesterday's jeans. It would be worth it in the end if it meant just getting this over with.

"Don't be late" he hung up then, and I momentarily paused, enjoying the last few seconds of comfort that my bed offered me. Then I pulled myself together and threw the duvet to one side before I could become even more tempted to just curl back up underneath it, and rolled out of bed.

It didn't take long to shove on some clothes and grab my bag. In fact, by the time I got downstairs and grabbed some toast Kellin was still asleep. This was even more ideal as I didn't even need to make any sort of excuse about where I was going and instead I could just simply walk out the door.

Summer was in full swing by this point, and it was actually pretty hot outside. The sun beat down on my head as I walked along the pavement, causing me to curse my dark hair for being so heat absorbent. It kept getting in my eyes with every step I took, so I made a note to myself to cut it later.

I kept trying to distract myself from the task at hand with these trivial thoughts, from the weather to my hair and then about how Kellin had mentioned having a get together with a whole crowd of our friends that evening. Anything to stop me from thinking about the fact that I was basically dealing these damn drugs out. And all because I didn't want to have to leave Gerard.

The walk to Dewees house was too long for my liking. There's only so many little, trivial things you can occupy your mind with before it inevitably drifts back to the problems at hand. And in my case there was plenty to choose from.

So I guess I was partly relieved when I turned up on his doorstep, finally about to distract myself with some human interaction. Of course, i wasn't exactly expecting much in the way of an intelligent conversation when it came to James Dewees, as I already knew just how much he loved to get stoned. Today was no exception, as I immediately gathered when he opened the door with a glazed expression, leaning to one side as he took me in with a dopey smile.

"Frank!" He all but slurred "come on in, come on in" I quickly found myself being pulled inside and shoved lightly in the direction of the lounge.

"Stoned again Dewees?" I just sighed as I watched him stumble around.

"Something like that" my question was dismissed with a flick of the wrist "anyways, what can I get you? Coffee? Beer? Something stronger?" Right at that moment I didn't trust him with a glass of water, let alone alcohol, so I shook my head.

"No thanks, I'm running on a tight schedule. I just need the delivery and the address." A confused look took over his face, and I watched as he stood still for a moment and pondered my request.

"Delivery... Under the stairs, yes, that's the one" he quickly hurried off towards the stairs, and I waited for a moment before he returned with a package. "There you go!" This package was then shoved into my hands with a little too much enthusiasm.

"And the address?"

"The address..." His features tightened a he though "Ian left the address... For that greasy haired guy who lives above the chip shop... What was his name again..."

"I just need the address, I'm really not bothered about the name" I urged him to speed up "where did he leave it?"

"Um... Ah! Here!" He pulled out a crumpled yellow post it note from his pocket and handed it over "knew it was around here somewhere. Say, do you want a drink?"

"You already asked me that."

"Oh. Yeah."

I glanced around the place, seeing how messy it had become. I doubted anyone else visited except for me and Ians men. This seemed to cause a wave of sympathy to wash over me, as I found myself reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Look Dewees, I have to go deliver this, but I'll come back sooner next time yeah?"

"Sure thing" he nodded distractedly.

"And please try and take care of yourself in the meantime?" I strained, desperately hoping he would at least listen to me "go easy on the drugs and booze and just be healthy yeah?"

"Since when did you get so boring?" He scoffed "look at yourself Iero. You're not exactly the picture of health and prospect yourself."

"I know" I admitted "I'm not saying I'm a role model. I'm just saying that I don't want to see you go to shit."

"Look at us Frank" he sighed "we passed the point of hope the moment we became involved in this."

****

I worried about Dewees the whole way across town, which I guess could be counted as an improvement on worrying about my own problems.

I knew that his addiction would be hard to kick, but that made me want to encourage him even more. He was a decent guy and didn't deserve to have his life fucked over like this. It was bad enough for him to be involved with Ian, let alone being supplied by him.

I took a bus to the other side of town, so it didn't take me long to reach my destination. This address lead me to a rather rough council estate. Not that I was one to judge people on their living quarters, especially as I was currently a friends bedroom away from being homeless myself, but in just didn't feel safe as I took the stairs up one block of flats.

I finally found the right flat, all of five floors up, and even then I had to wait a good few minutes after I knocked before the door was opened.

At first the guy only partially opened the door, giving me a view of only half of his face. His eyes were bloodshot and his black hair hung in greasy locks to just above his shoulders. Although it was kind I hard to tell exactly where his hair ended and his black hoodie began, especially in that lighting.

"Hey" his expression was guarded "who sent you?"

"Ian."

"You that kid... Er, Eye-o something...?" He struggled.

"Iero" I automatically corrected for what must have been the billionth time in my short life.

"Ah! That's the one!" As recognition dawned across his face, he opened the door wider, letting me see his full face. "You best come in."

I stepped tentatively into his hallway as the door clicked shut behind me, and glanced around at the messy apartment. There wasn't much to see really - a sofa, old TV, kitchenette, that sort of thing. Everything looked a little old and patchy, but it was an alright place to live I guess.

"Just chuck it down on the table" he nodded towards the little coffee table that sat in front of the TV, which was currently occupied by old takeaway boxes.

I did as he said and placed the bag down, wearily keeping note of where and how he was stood.

"You seem pretty young to be doing this" he noted, lighting a cigarette before offering me one. "Here, you look like you need to relax a bit."

"Oh, thanks" I took the stick but decided to use my own lighter. We both stood there for a moment, each inhaling, before he spoke again.

"So go on and tell me then Iero, how old are you?"

"I'll be Eighteen on Halloween" I figured I might as well be truthful here.

"Jesus, you're even younger than I thought you were" he raised his eyebrows "fuck, how the hell did a seventeen year old get involved with Ian?"

"It's complicated" I shrugged, hoping to leave it at that.

"Oh go on, I like a good story" he teased, falling back onto the sofa. "Go on! Sit down!" He pointed at the armchair next to me "I won't hurt 'ya."

"You never even told me your name" I frowned, but sat down anyway. He was a charismatic person, I'd give him that, making me feel instantly relaxed in his home despite the situation I was in.

"Bert McCracken" he grinned "and you?"

"Frank Iero."

"Well at least the first name is somewhat pronounceable, huh?" He have a wink before taking another drag "go on then Frank, what the hell have you done to deserve to be the one bringing me my fix?"

"Well I kind of came across one of Ian's drug drops by accident, and he saw me..." I took a drag "and I managed to get away, but well, he found me eventually."

"You sound like you're lucky to be alive" he hummed "so let me guess, you run all his errands for him and then he let's you keep breathing?"

"Something like that" I nodded, having already nearly finished the cigarette he gave me. "I guess I'm suppose to be grateful or something."

"Probably" he chuckled "what I wanna know is what the hell are you still doing sticking around? You got family or something?"

"Not anymore."

"Ah. Now that I can identify with" this time his laugh was darker "you got some sort of house or something? Or are you relying on Ian for that too?"

"I'm staying with a friend." I figured it was best to leave any details about Kellin or his house out of it, so was glad when he quickly moved on with a small nod.

"So no family to tie you down, no house, no job prospects... What's keeping you then?" His eyes narrowed "wait, I bet it's a girl. You got some sort of sweetheart you don't wanna leave behind?"

"It's a guy actually" I don't know why I let the words slip, but there they were. I sort of froze for a second, wondering why the hell I let that slip. I mean, I didn't exactly like to yell about my sexuality from the rooftops as it was, but here I was confessing it to a guy I had met all of ten minutes ago. And maybe it would've been ok if I all I was admitting to was being gay, as it was probably noticeable anyway, but I had also admitted that I was seeing someone.

"Ah, I didn't realise you were gay" he cried, acting as if I'd just announced the fact we were long lost brothers "then again, all the best ones are, aren't they?" The way he winked at the end left no doubt in my mind that he was too.

I felt an uncomfortable urge to leave wash over me at that point, and it seemed to clash drastically with the comforting mood that he had been giving off beforehand.

The room seemed smaller somehow, and perhaps dirtier.

Bert must have sensed my sudden unease, as he frowned.

"What is it?"

"I, er. I really need to get going" I rushed, hoping desperately that he'd act as pleasant on my departure as he did on my arrival.

"If you're sure" he seemed disappointed to see me go "you'll have to come again soon though and finish telling me about this boyfriend of yours. He must be something special if you're sticking around for him." There was an edge to his voice, something I just couldn't quite figure out.

"Er, yeah" I rushed, desperate to just leave already "sure thing."

He watched me grab my bag and leave without saying any more, but just with a small nod followed by a simple smile.

I don't quite know why I felt suddenly shaken up by him. Probably because it was so out of character for me to spill a secret so easily. Normally nobody could extract any sort of information from me, but Bert had read me like an open book.

And my life was certainly not some sort of novel I wanted anyone but myself to read.

I shook my head and tried to push these thoughts away, deciding that the sooner I forgot about Bert McCracken, the better.

****

Hey guys I'm SO SORRY that this took so long. I'm such a bad procrastinator, plus I've been on holiday this past week.

Hope you're all good and that you enjoyed this :)

((Good vibes))

~ Headfirst for Helena