Chapter Sixteen 

It was Wednesday morning. 

Dewees was downstairs drinking coffee with Kellin, his bags packed at his feet as he shifted nervously. I guess the reality of going to rehab was hitting him now, but the encouragement he'd received from me and Kellin, combined with escaping the threat of Ian, was enough to keep his cold feet at bay. 

"You'll be fine" Kellin reassured him as I walked into the kitchen "this is going to be the best decision you ever make." 

"I hope so" he gulped, and I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I didn't have to look to know it would be Gerard texting to say he was outside. He was never late to anything, especially not for something like this. 

"Come on" I picked up one of his bags for him "it's time." 

When we got outside the house I saw Gerard had pulled up right in front, and was leaning on the side of the car. His priest collar was gone, thank god, and instead he wore a The Smiths t-shirt with his leather jacket and black jeans. He looked so normal without the collar, and so much younger too. Dewees didn't even bat an eyelid at his appearance, just gave an awkward smile. 

"Hi" he mumbled, but Gerard reached out and shook his hand. 

"Hi Dewees, I'm Gerard" He smiled warmly "sorry we haven't met before, but Frank's told me all about you." 

"That's probably not a good thing" Dewees gave a sad smile "but thanks for you help. It means a lot." 

"No problem. We should probably get going though, don't want to hang around here longer than necessary." we all agreed on that one, and I hopped in the front as Kellin hugged Dewees goodbye and helped him get in the back of the car with his stuff. Gerard got in beside me, and we exchanged silent smiles with each other whilst the other two were distracted. 

"Ready?" I turned back to Dewees and he gives a small nod, and just like that we're driving off, leaving Kellin to retreat to his front door and finish getting ready for college. Gerard seemed to sense my nerves, and leaned across to squeeze my hand. It was only brief, but it did the trick of calming me.

 I stole a glance back at Dewees in the rearview mirror to see he was looking out the window. If he saw, he wasn't letting on. All the same, I felt awkward being coupley in front of a guy I'd once kissed, and still seemed to like me a little. It wasn't really fair on him, and I feel like Gerard would've pushed it more if we were in a different situation, but knew better than to complicate things further when Dewees was already going through such a rough time. 

Instead he turned on the radio, and started humming softly under his breath to the music. It was faint enough that Dewees probably couldn't hear him that well, but I could just about make out the words. 

We were silent for a while after that. Dewees would ask the occasional question about the facilities at the rehab, and Gerard knew some answers but not all of them. He did his best to be helpful though, even when I started asking questions too. 

"How confidential is it?" I asked "you know, if someone on the outside wanted to visit."

"Highly. You have to be on the list of visitors, not that you should of course. Too risky." 

"Can I have anyone on my visitors list?" Dewees piped up from the back. 

"Yeah of course, I was thinking we could put your friend Kellin on it. He's not as directly linked to Frank, so that should be fine. And I'll leave my number with them too so if you urgently need to get hold of us you can always call me." 

"Okay" he went quiet again after that, and it suddenly hit me that I wouldn't be able to have any contact with him once he entered rehab. It would be way too risky to visit him or to call him unless I used Kellin's phone. I knew it was for the best, but I still felt a bit left out. 

"We're almost there" Gerard declared, turning down a small country road "I hope you'll like it, it's got a nice garden and I've heard nothing but good things about it." Dewees just nodded, probably pretty scared at this point. Before, rehab had been a pipe-dream, but now it was real and imminent. 

Sure enough, we turned down another road and saw a large house. If it wasn't for the high wall surrounding it, you wouldn't know it wasn't just a large country home. 

Gerard had to speak over the intercom before they opened the gates, but after that it didn't take long to pull over in the car park and start to gather up Dewees things. He was still sat in the back, gazing up at his new home. Gerard seemed to sense his nerves and hopped out the car, mumbling something about grabbing the bags, and I shot him a thankful glance. 

"Hey" I turned round to face him "it's gunna be okay, you know. This is the terrifying bit, but you'll soon adjust, and you'll get better here Dewees, you can turn it all around." 

"I can't stay in there forever though, can I? I'll have to come out and face the world eventually." 

"True, but for now it's a pretty good answer to our problems. We'll cross that bridge when you come to it, but we'll all be here for you and we'll get it all figured out. You'll see" I grinned, and he cracked a genuine smile back. 

"Thanks Frank" he unbuckled his seatbelt "you're right. And er, thanks to your boyfriend too. He seems like a nice guy." 

"He is" I sighed, and got out the car. 

**

Checking Dewees in didn't take all that long. I helped him fill out the paperwork whilst Gerard spoke to the head psychologist about how important it was that Dewees not have any visitors that weren't specified on the paperwork. 

After that, they were ready to show Dewees to his room, and it had come time for us to leave him. 

"I'll meet you in the car" Gerard said, hand subtly pressed on the small of my back. He turned to Dewees then "good luck. I know you'll be fine here." 

"Thank you" he sighed, and then Gerard walked back towards the entrance, and it was just me and Dewees standing awkwardly in the reception area. "Well, I guess this is it then" he smiled, and I pulled him in for a hug. 

"It's gunna be okay" I wasn't sure who I was reassuring more, but it seemed to work. 

"You should go. I've got this" he pulled back, seeming more confident. "Thanks again for everything Frank." 

***

"You okay?" Gerard asked as we drove away from the centre. 

"Yeah, it's such a relief to get him to rehab, but I hadn't really thought about what I do next" I confessed. "I mean, I kept thinking about how i've gotta get him out, but now i've actually got to figure out how to get myself out of Ian's shit too. And I can't see how." 

"We'll figure it out. Together" he sighed "but for now let's just celebrate this small victory, okay? Do you have to get straight back? Because I've got all day if you wanna do something." 

"That sounds perfect" I grinned, mood instantly lifted "what did you have in mind?" 

"Let's go somewhere nobody knows who we are. Anywhere but here will do." 

That's how we ended up driving another twenty minutes or so away from home, just to be doubly sure we were far enough away from anyone we could possibly know, and deep into the countryside. 

"Do you know where you're going?" I asked when he turned down an obscure beaten track. 

"Actually, I do" he grinned "I came here once before when I was on my way back from a meeting" he turned again, into a small car park that could probably only fit about five cars "I needed someplace quiet to think and relax, and I found this perfect. Hopefully you will too." 

"What's so special about it?" To me, all I could see were normal woods.

"Nothing and everything" He mused, causing me to roll my eyes. 

"Stop being so poetic about a bunch of trees" I said, jumping out of the car. 

"Sorry" He met me at the front of the car and took my hand in his "what I mean is that there's nothing obviously special about it, but it's special to me." 

"Better, but still cryptic" he just chuckled and pulled me down the footpath into the woods. 

"Come on, it's not that far." 

It was about a ten minute walk through various beaten tracks and a few ditches to climb, but eventually Gerard stopped abruptly, almost causing me to walk into the back of him. Luckily, I caught myself, and instead peered round his shoulder to see where we had arrived. 

We were at a clearing in the woods that surrounded a large pond, but surrounding this pond built into the hillside were caves. They weren't particularly deep, but they still looked cool, and the whole place definitely did feel a million miles away from home. 

"Pretty, right?" He turned to face me, still holding my hand and using it to pull me closer to him. 

"It's certainly far enough away" I nodded, letting him pull me down onto the grass so that we were sat next to each other, his thumb rubbing circles in the palm of my hand. "But why is it so special to you?" 

"Because of you."

"What do you mean? You said you came here on the way back from a meeting, and I've certainly never been here before." 

"You didn't need to" he chuckled at my puzzled expression "when I first met you, I was instantly attracted to you. Like, I'd never felt like that before. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know if you were gay, and at the time I was in denial about it all, plus I knew you were seventeen and it just felt like I had this massive temptation right in front of me that I'd never be able to have." 

"I didn't realise you felt that way when you first met me." 

"Of course I did. Why do you think I lied for you the day we first met? I didn't really know what came over me, but I was instantly protective of you" he smiled down at our entwined hands "anyway, I didn't know what to do or how to cope. Then there was that day when I snapped at you and you stormed off early from church, and I felt awful. I knew I'd just taken out my frustration on you, and I just needed to get away, so I got in my car and just drove and drove until I finally needed to stop for a cigarette." 

"And that's when you found this place?" I guessed, and he nodded. 

"I stumbled across it, and I ended up sitting here for ages, until it was almost completely dark, just thinking about what to do. Wondering how I could help you without letting my feelings get in the way, wondering how we could have been thrown together in such strange circumstances and yet at the same time still be forbidden from being anything more than acquaintances." 

"Did you reach an answer?" 

"Sort of" he smiled "I mean, no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't get you out of my head. And I started to wonder if maybe we were meant to meet this way, if maybe I could use how much I cared about you for good. So I decided that I would be there for you as much as I could, even when nobody else would be, even if it meant having to suppress how I feel." 

"Gee" I whispered "that's so... I had no idea you felt so deeply so quickly." I mean, I'd fancied him from the moment I saw him, but I never would have guessed he even felt a tiny bit the same way. He always seemed so relaxed and upbeat. 

"Well, this is where I realised how quickly I was falling for you" he smiled fondly up at the trees "it's nice to be back here with you this time. To know that it worked out, that we've been able to help each other and ourselves by being together." 

"Like therapy, but cheaper and more illegal?" I raised an eyebrow, and he let out a high pitched giggle. 

"It's only illegal for a few more weeks. Then it's just cheaper and highly frowned upon." 

"Groundbreaking" I rolled my eyes, but he shut me up by pulling me closer to him and kissing me, soft and slow as if his lips were melting into mine. His fingers traced lightly down the side of my cheek and onto my neck, making me shiver despite the warm September air around us. 

"I love you" he sighed, pulling away but keeping his face close to mine "I love you a scary, stupid amount." 

"I love you too" I sighed, and for once my problems seemed to melt away as he kissed me again, just the two of us in our little bubble of temporary peace. 

***

When I got home that evening, and after telling Kellin everything that had happened when we dropped off Dewees, I realised I hadn't actually spoken to Pete in like two weeks, and the immediate guilt that hit me resulted in me skyping him about half an hour later. 

"You're alive then" he just chuckled over video, not seeming to care about our temporary lapse in effort to stay in touch "I was starting to get curious as to what was occupying so much of your time." 

"Sorry" I sighed, balancing the laptop on my knees "things have been pretty hectic, and I should've caught up with you sooner, I know." 

"It's cool" he shrugged "things have been pretty busy here too. Well, me and Patrick are really good at the moment so i've been spending most my time with him, but I did some tagging the other day. I figured someone had to keep it up now you're gone."

"Good, I wouldn't want officer McManor getting bored now that he can't chase me all over town" I grinned, so relieved that things were still fine between me and Pete. Our friendship was one of those where it didn't matter how long we went without speaking; we still picked up exactly where we left off. 

"Hey, speaking of you being banished to England, how come you're not coming home? Now that you're uncle's chucked you out and all." 

"It's complicated" I sighed "I mean, I want to finish college here, and my friends are all really nice and Kellin's letting me live with him which is far better than coming home to live with my parents again, and, well, there's this guy too." 

"Yeah yeah I see how it is" he teased "give up coming home for some loverboy." 

"I actually am in love, you know." 

"Shit, I didn't realise it was that serious" his eyebrows shot up a little "when do I actually get to meet him then? or see a photo, or a name, or like, anything. I'm clutching at straws here Frank." He seemed a little hurt, and I guess I could see why. He'd poured his heart out to me about Patrick and now I wouldn't even tell him the name of the guy I was in love with. 

"I know, I'm sorry, I can't tell you loads now but I will be able to really really soon. I promise." 

"Okay, I trust you" he nodded, and dropped the subject after that, instead telling me all the idle gossip of the town that I couldn't say I really missed, but was still funny to hear about. Especially as Pete Wentz was a total gossiper and seemed to know exactly who was screwing who throughout the entire community. Just as well he was the other side of the atlantic, otherwise he'd definitely have figured out me and Gerard by now. 

It was only when I finally hung up on our skype call after almost an hour long catch up that my phone began to ring, and I saw the one number I hated most flash up on the screen. 

With a groan, I answered, knowing it was unavoidable. 

"Hello?" 

"Iero" Ian snapped "you got anything on Dewees yet?" 

"No" my answer was instinctively fast, and something i'd be rehearsing to myself for days in the event of him calling "I'm sorry, Ian, but it really is a dead end. He's gone and nowhere to be seen." 

"It's not a dead end until I find him" he growled back "but you and him know each other, you have mutual friends and someone is bound to know where he's hiding. I need you to try harder." 

"I know, I will do" I sighed "but I don't have anything new to tell you." 

"Well in that case you better make yourself of some sort of use. I've got a new shipment coming in next week, so i'll be needing you to run errands for me again." 

"Okay." 

"And Frank? Remember who's most important to stay on the right side of." He hung up then, and I threw my phone down beside me and groaned into my hands. It didn't matter how many times I spoke to him on the phone, each call still filled me with the same dread as the first time I met him. 

**