Just a quick note: I see a lot of comments about the legal age for Frank to be having sex with Gerard, as in the UK normally it would be 16, but because Gerard is a priest he's in a position of trust so it's 18 ;)

Four

The next day Kellin decided not only to finally tidy the living room, but to invite our whole gang of friends over. Now don't get me wrong, I was more than happy with this as I hadn't seen them all in a few days and was eager for a distraction, but I was also weary of all the lying I would have to do in the process.

I mean, they'd all want explanations, and I was going to have to convince them all, even Jimmy and Lindsey, who had both been know to outsmart me in the past. I had Kellin on my side though, and he was more than willing to help back up my lie when I asked him.

"Well I'm hardly going to tell them the truth, am I?" he chuckled when I asked him, halfway through stacking his playstation games into a neat pile "after all, they're coming to hang out, not hang you."

"Don't be so melodramatic" i rolled my eyes at him, despite the fact his back was turned "anyway, what time are they all getting here?"

"I dunno, in about twenty minutes I guess" he shrugged "plenty of time for you to come up with something convincing."

"Well thanks for your overwhelming help" i rolled my eyes as he continued to tidy without so much as a glance in my direction, completely unfazed by the thought of having to try and sound convincing. If only I had the same confidence.

"Oh come on, you must be a pro when it comes to lying by this point!" he exclaimed "you tell them every bloody day, what's the big deal here?"

"Because these are my friends, and they're smart. I don't want them to distrust me, especially when it comes to a big issue like why i'm suddenly living with you. They'll want a full explanation, and if we don't go over this properly then they'll suspect something."

"So go over it" he shrugged "I'll start - your uncle caught you trying to do some more tagging and flipped his switch."

"We'll say it was in the alleyway behind our house, there's some remnants of graffiti back there that i could claim was the start of a piece he interrupted" I added, already having plotted the exact spot out in my mind.

"Sure thing" he continued "So anyway, you two have this massive row, you end up storming out and coming here, and they decided they don't want you back anymore. So now you're stuck with me" He batted away my worries "seriously Frank, we all know your aunt and uncle are complete dickheads. Nobody will question your story. If anything they'll just be glad you're out of there and now living somewhere that you can actually be happy about."

"And what makes you so sure of that?" I joined in, feeling more relaxed with each reassuring comment he threw at me.

"Because I was born to entertain" he winked "plus let's be honest, who else has a spare bedroom and parents that only come home every other weekend?"

"Are you sure they're ok with this?"

"Of course!" he hurried "To be honest, i think they're glad i have some company. I guess the guilt of leaving me used to get to them a little, but now thanks to you then can stay away in the peace that even if i do burn down this place, I won't be sweeping up the ashes alone."

"Technically you've got a boyfriend too" i pointed out "Do they even know about Vic yet?"

"Me and my parents... we never really have much in the way of emotional conversations' he shrugged it off "I mean, they care and all, and they're not homophobic. I came out to them years back and then were fine with it all as long as it made me happy..."

"But they don't ask after you?"

"Well, they ask about how i'm doing I guess" he sighed, giving me his full attention now "it's just that we're not close enough for me to feel like talking about Vic. He's a topic that's i'm pretty sensitive and private about, and i just don't feel like i wanna share much of it with them, you know?"

"Trust me, if anyone knows about feeling distanced from relatives then it's me" i sighed "But you should try talking to them anyway you know. I know you may not want to, but if you can salvage anything then it's worth a shot."

"I don't know man, i guess you have a point, but i can't force a connection that simply isn't there" he continued to write them off as a lost cause "sometimes you've just gotta make your own family in life, right? Like you have." He turned back to his tidying then, drawing our in depth conversation to a close, but not without giving me plenty to think about.

He was right. I had created my own family. In a weird, messy way. I had Gerard to love, Kellin to live with and my friends to care for. It was dysfunctional to say the least, but i felt happier like this than i'd ever felt with my blood relatives.

**

"So then Kitty grabs the sandwich and hits this guy round the head with it" Steve continued on with his elaborate story from the past, involving Kitty and a guy at the bakery where she'd worked the previous summer "Before teling him exactly where he can shove his complaint."

"Shh" Kitty waved her hand at him in protest "Will you ever let that one go?"

"Nope" He grinned "And that's just the start of it."

We were all congregated in Kellin's living room; some of us on the sofas, some on beanbags and some propped up by cushions on the floor. Doritoes were being passed around amongst everyone as the group filled me in on the classic stories i'd missed out on before i met them all.

"It's an educational history of our group" Chantal had declared "These things need to be known if you're ever going to truly get all of our inside jokes. And trust me, there's a lot of them to catch up on."

"Years worth of the stuff" Jimmy agreed through a mouthful of food "but don't worry, once we're done with you there will be no embarrassing encounter left untold!"

And so they had begun to tell me take after tale, each one making us all laugh harder than the last. It was the ideal distraction that I had been looking for: one that made me truly appreciate my friends whilst being able to relax away from all my problems.

Even better still, they seemed to have all bought my story on how I had come to be living with Kellin. Of course, they were all disgusted with my uncle and aunt, agreeing that they were complete pricks, but no complicated questions were raised about the whole thing, so I was pleasantly relieved.

"Enough about me, how come we aren't telling him about any of the Steve stories?" Kitty's smile took on a malicious edge as she purposely turned the conversation to him "Like the time he got head stuck in the school railings." 

"Or when he got so drunk at prom that he tried to snog the biology teacher!" Jimmy yelled out with what could only be described as a cackle. 

"To be fair, she was pretty hot" Oli commented "And i genuinely think she kissed you back for a moment there Steve. Well, right before she remembered where she was and how her boss was around somewhere, then she pushed you away." 

"I wasn't even all that drunk" Steve admitted "I mean, drunk enough to have the courage to do it, but they were sober thoughts a long time before that." 

"Come on guys let's think of some more embarrassing ones, we don't need to hear about Steve playing tonsil tennis with one of my favourite teachers" Chantal shuddered against Jimmy's side. "Or at least wait until i've had a bit more to drink." 

"You better get started on the vodka then" Kellin chuckled "because i'm about to tell the one about Oli and the headmaster's daughter." 

***

"Come tagging with me?" Lynz all but begged me as the others began to leave. We'd all been messing around at Kellin's for hours now, but I got the feeling she was reluctant to have to return home "it doesn't have to be anything big, somewhere that you won't be caught. I just really need to let it all out." 

"Jeez Linds, I dunno-" I was cut short by the big-eyed begging stare she was giving me, looking like a lost puppy. And if there was one thing i was a complete sucker for, then it was puppies. 

"Please?" 

"Okay fine" i surrendered, immediately being embraced in a tight hug for doing so "but nothing too extravagant ok?" 

"Sure thing!" She all but hopped towards the door, now officially the last one to leave (Chantal and Jimmy were disappearing up the driveway as we spoke) whilst Kellin was tidying up in the living room. "I just really need to let off some steam." 

"trust me, I understand" I turned back towards the lounge and yelled at Kellin "Me and Linds are just heading out to do some tagging, i'll be back in an hour or so, kay?" 

"sure thing!" Came his quick reply, and before I knew it I was being dragged out the door. 

**

"What does Ray think of it all?" Lynz asked out of the blue. We were both standing on a council estate, what had once been a bare wall in front of us. Both of us held spray cans in our hands, with paint-coated fingers and a wall of art displayed right for our own private viewing directly in front of us. We'd done some simple drawings really, silhouettes of people reaching out, mixing in bright coloured backgrounds and the occasional detail.

It was our type of therapy, and a highly effective one at that. 

That's why I was surprised when she brought up one of the things we'd come to avoid. Not that I really minded though, as I knew she was just being caring and wanting to make sure that at least one member of my family still liked me. 

"Honestly? I don't know. There wasn't much chance to talk" I tried to shrug it off, but the way she stood there with her all-knowing gaze made me want to open up further "He er, didn't exactly make much of an effort to say goodbye when i was leaving though. I'm just worried he'll take his parents side in all of this. I know he's not like that, but then again he is my family, and they don't have the best record when it comes to putting up with me." 

"Not that you make it easy for them" She sighed "but yes, they do tend to abandon ship don't they? Ray doesn't seem like that though - he cares about you, even if the rest of them don't."

"Do you think I should try talking to him?" 

"Definitely" She leaned forward and added one final line to her drawing before handing me back the spray can, which i quickly shoved into the depths of my bag. "You need to make an effort with him here if you want this to work out." 

"I guess so." 

"Whilst we're in the middle of this heart to heart, are you going to tell me why you really got kicked out?" I must have looked alarmed as she rolled her dark eyes in amusement "What? Did you think I bought the tagging story? Come on Frank, they couldn't have cared less about your tagging, as long as you didn't get arrested again that is. Plus you've been acting weird for ages, and truth be told i'm worried about you." 

We were walking back through the estate now, and her tone had become serious. 

"It's a long story" I finally said, after a good few moments of deliberation as to what exactly i should admit to "and well, it's illegal at the best of times." 

"All the interesting stuff is" she shrugged "go on, tell me. What did you do this time?" 

"They found weed in my room." That made her slow down her pace, staring at me with raised eyebrows. 

"Weed? Seriously Frank? Haven't you seen what a mess Dewees has become recently because of that stuff? And keeping it in your aunt and uncle's house too, were you completely mad? That was never going to work out well. Who the hell is even dealing it to you anyway?" She babbled on, and I just let her get it out of her system before I even attempted to interrupt. 

"It wasn't for me." 

"Oh sure it wasn't" She laughed, but stopped upon seeing my serious expression "Well what the hell do you mean it wasn't for you? Did you want to grow a pretty plant or something?" 

"Piss off" I rolled my eyes "you have to at least take me seriously here." 

"Right, sure thing" she nodded "So, who was it for?" 

"You're going to hate me for this, but I really can't say" She gave me one of those are-you-fucking-kidding-me looks that she did so well, one eyebrow arched with her arms folded across her chest in a powerful pose. 

"Yes you fucking can Iero. Whatever this shit it, I don't care who's involved, I want to know." 

"It's -" 

"Hey! Frank!" I was cut off by the sound of one voice I really didn't want to hear. Not that I had anything against Bert McCracken, but his background didn't exactly place him at the top of my friend list. I already had my hands full with Dewees without adding another gay drug addict with a bit too much for charisma for his own good. 

"Fuck" I hissed, but it was too late. 

"What? Who's that?" Lynz asked, but by this point Bert was already standing up from where he'd been sitting on a bench, stretching his back like a cat before sauntering over to us, like he didn't have a care in the world. 

_________________________________________________________

I'm not even trying to be mean by leaving it there i'm just desperate to get this update out because i lost track of time and it's been wayyy too long and i'm so sorry omg. 

Thanks for sticking with this crappy updating pattern, I promise i'll get better again soon!

~ Headfirst for Helena