Chapter Fifteen 

Walking into college the next day was very weird. So much had happened and yet at the same time, nothing had really changed. I still had to listen to my English teacher droan on about preparing for exams, and I still spent most of music messing aroudn with Oli and Kellin and not really getting much actual work done. We all still sat at the same table at lunch too, although Ray had started to come sit with us too which was nice. 

"Hey" He'd smiled, catching me and Jimmy walking out of English "do you mind if I sit with you guys today?" 

"Of course" I grinned "Ray, that would be so good. I've missed you." 

"I've missed you too, believe me" he chuckled "my house is getting unbearable without you to stir things up a bit. It's so monotonous and boring." I guess that was one thing that had changed; now I walked to college with Kellin instead of getting a lift with Ray. And I was no longer obliged to walk to the church afterwards, although I kinda missed that part of last year's routine. 

"I'm gunna wait to Chantal, I'll catch up with you guys" Jimmy leaned against the door, and me and Ray started to make our way towards the canteen. 

"So" Ray said immediately once Jimmy was out of earshot "what's going on with you? I haven't heard from you in a few days and if I've learnt anything it's that you an get yourself in all sorts of trouble within a short space of time."

"Well, I'm still being blackmailed into being in a gang and screwing a priest if that's what you mean" he rolled his eyes. 

"Well that much I know, but are you okay? Have they made you deal any more?" 

"Actually not much. There's been some issues with Dewees and well, they're a bit short on drugs to deal out" I'd made a vow not to lie to Ray at all anymore, and I intended to stick to it. "So I guess I'm temporarily redundant." 

"You mean Dewees messed up their supplies? Shit Frank" his eyes widened, scanning the crowds around us "they don't sound like very forgiving people, what's he going to do?"

"He's... hiding. At the moment anyway." 

"Why do I get the feeling you know more about this than you should?" 

"Because you have good instincts" I chuckled "but er, I do seriously think the less you know about where he is the better. I don't want to put you in any trouble Ray." 

"Okay" he nodded "I get that. But you're clearly putting yourself in trouble too by helping him. He's older than you anyway, he needs to take care of himself and you certainly shouldn't be dragged into this mess." 

"I know, I know, I'm keeping my head down" I wasn't really used to this many people caring about me putting myself in trouble's way, but it was kind of nice to have people telling me to look after myself. "believe me, I've already promised Gee several times that i'll not try anything stupid." 

"Good, he's a good influence on you, you know?" He pushed open the canteen doors "but he's seemed pretty uptight and nervous in church recently so I figured he's been worrying about you." 

"He has?" 

"Well, it's probably not that noticeable to anyone else, but yes, if you could see him you'd see the difference too. He prays really intensely too. At first I thought it was because he might be having doubts about his job, and maybe it is, but I think he's mainly just praying to keep you safe." My heart melted a little at that. I hated that I worried him, but a selfish part of me also was loving the fact that he was thinking about me so much, even during the services. 

"Have your parents said anything about me?" I changed the subject, although part of me wanted to just keep talking about all the little things Gerard did in church that I couldn't see anymore. 

"A little. My mum wanted me to check that you turned up to college for her, and your parents have been on the phone a few times but i'm not really sure how much they told them. Dad doesn't really talk about you much at all, but I think he's just angry. And bored. Disciplining you took up quite a bit of time and now he has nobody to yell at" he chuckled and glanced over at me "which is probably a good thing because if he saw those hickeys on your neck he'd flip." 

"Oh yeah" I put a hand to my collar self consciously "the make-ups not really helping then?" 

"Nope. They're massive Frank. What was he trying to do - draw blood?" 

"What can I say, he's a lot kinkier than your average priest." 

He rolled his eyes and did a dramatic shudder "oh god, now i'm going to have to sit in church on sunday and look at him and pretend to take him seriously and all i'll be able to think about is that. Seriously. No details on your sex life. Ever." 

"Deal" we reached the others by this point, and I tried to sit down quickly and not draw too much attention to myself. 

Luckily throughout lunch it seemed Lynz was the only one who looked at my hickeys and met my eyes with an arched eyebrow. Kellin had already seen them when I got home the night before, so all in all I did pretty well. 

After college me and Kellin headed into town, and Lynz ended up coming along because she was walking to her dads and wanted to waste some time along the way. 

"So" I asked as soon as it was just the three of us "how was Bert yesterday?" 

"He's alright really Frank, once he drops that whole overconfident over-flirtatious act, he's okay. That's just the front he puts up when he's nervous." 

"I'm sure you're probably right Lynz, but maybe you should be careful how much time you spend with him at the moment" Kellin reasoned before I could respond "Frank's in a lot of trouble at the moment and needs to lie low-" 

"I know, Bert said Dewees is missing and that Ian wants him to find him" she turned to me "which you could've told me by the way."

"Sorry" I grimaced "I was going to, I promise." 

"It's okay, I understand. But I think it's better if we all carry on as normal as if we have nothing to hide right? I made sure I told Bert that you have no idea where Dewees is, so there's really no reason I should suddenly stop hanging out round there, and you shouldn't act too worried about it in front of him either." 

"I guess so." 

"I'm not gunna ask if you actually do know where he is because I'm not sure I want to know the answer, but whatever your plan is I suggest you act fast, Bert says he doesn't think this will end well for anyone involved" she sighed "and as much as Dewees can be a pain, he doesn't deserve what they'd do to him." 

"Agreed" Kellin shuddered. "We won't let it come to that though." 

**

When me and Kellin got home we were both relived to find Dewees sober, steady and sat on the sofa. He'd even got dressed and looked like he'd showered, which was a definite improvement to his normal routine of wallowing in self pity in various locations around Kellin's house. 

"Hey guys" he smiled "how was college?" 

"Good thanks" Kellin chucked his backpack down "what about you though? You look better." 

"I feel it" he nodded "I mean, I'm still craving and the shakes were really bad after you left, but they've settled a bit now." 

"And you haven't been outside?" I checked. 

"No. It was tough without you guys here, I won't lie. I was tempted, you know, when the cravings got real bad, but I stopped myself. I kept thinking about how much you're both risking for me, and I found some more self control out of that I guess." I appreciated his honesty, but of course it made my stomach knot with anxiety. All it would take was one relapse on his part, one risk taken for a fix, and we could all be done for. 

"Good, I'm glad" I sighed "just call us if it gets real bad again okay? I don't mind skipping college if you need me." 

"Thanks man, but I'll be okay. I've got this. I've got to, for all our sakes." 

"Frank's, er, friend, if working on getting you a rehab place real soon" Kellin nodded encouragingly "and when he does you'll get proper help. Not just us giving you pep talks and toast." 

"The same friend that gave you those hickeys?" Dewees grinned, and they both laughed when I blushed. 

"Shut up both of you" I grabbed a nearby cushion and threw it in their direction, missing spectacularly. Of course, this just caused further laughter at my expense. 

"Oh come on Frank, you let him do that to your neck and you're just asking to be teased" Kellin giggled "you're just lucky Jimmy hasn't noticed them yet. Then you'll really be in for it." 

"Fuck you, i'm going to find more makeup" I groaned, grabbing my bad and heading up to my room as they continued to joke and laugh about how I must be dating a vampire to have such a battered neck. 

**

About an hour or later Gerard phoned, taking me by surprise. 

"Hey" I answered before it had even reached the third ring, probably sounding way too excited for a Monday night. 

"I've got the best news" he jumped in immediately without so much as a hello in response.  

"hmm lemme guess, you told Brian to fuck off and he did?" 

"No-"

"You've found a new job where it's okay to be in a gay relationship with an almost-eighteen year old, and so will soon be telling Brian to fuck off but just haven't got round to it yet?" 

"No Frank, shut up!" he giggled "you're ruining it!" 

"Okay okay" I sighed dramatically "go on then, but if it doesn't at least involve you telling him to piss off i'm gunna be sad." 

"Actually, it's nothing to do with him at all and is about far more pressing issues" I could tell he was doing that smile where he was so pleased with himself, and I wished I could see it properly in person. "It's that rehab I was telling you about." 

"Oh shit" I sat up "did they get back to you?" 

"Yep, they've got a place going. They said they can take him Wednesday morning." 

"You're the best" I all but shouted down the phone "Oh god Gee, this really is amazing news. He's gunna be so happy, and safe, and Wednesday too - that's so soon!" 

"Told you being a priest has some benefits." 

"Where abouts is it?" 

"Only about 45 minutes drive from here. Far enough away that he'll be safe. If you like, I can come pick him up Wednesday morning and take him?" 

"I'm coming too." There was no way I was going to miss this because of college. I had to make sure he made it there okay, had to see him get signed in and safely handed over into proper care. Only then would I be able to relax a little. 

"If you're sure." 

"I am. Thank you so much for this Gee, I mean it. I love you." 

"I love you too baby" he sighed happily "now go tell him the good news and I'll see you tomorrow yeah?" 

***

"Fuck yes" Kellin grinned and all but jumped on me in a hug "I knew we'd be okay Frank, I knew we'd get this sorted!" 

"Kellin you're suffocating him" Dewees chuckled, but the relief on his face was obvious. My news had lifted the mood that had settled on the house for the past week or so, and now suddenly we all couldn't stop smiling. "But seriously Frank, how the hell did you manage to get me a place so fast?" 

"He's got friends in high places" Kellin winked. 

"Are you fucking the therapist there or something? Seriously? How?" Kellin giggled, and I knew he was holding back a 'it's far worse than that' remark. 

"No" I shook my head "but er, the guy that sorted it all out for you is gunna come here Wednesday morning and take us there so you can thank him yourself then." 

"Cool" he nodded, deciding to drop the subject for now. I knew he'd probably ask me more about it later, but I was grateful for the thinking space. At this point, I didn't really care if Dewees knew about me and Gerard, but I didn't want to give him too much of a shock. 

"Do you need me to come too?" Kellin asked, stepping away from me now that the initial excitement had passed. 

"It's okay, it's probably better if you show your face at college so people don't ask why we were both bunking." 

"True, if Jimmy thinks he's missing out on something he wont quit digging till he finds out what we're up to without him." He stretched and yawned, glancing at the time "well, i'm gunna go get some sleep. I need to call Vic and we;re gunna have a busy day tomorrow getting everything sorted." 

"Night" I sighed, watching him walk out the room and up the stairs. I flopped down onto the sofa next to Dewees, and for a moment we both sat there in comfortable silence. 

"I can't believe i'm getting out of here" Dewees grinned, almost more to himself than to me, before lifting his head up to look me in the eye "I can't thank you enough for this Frank." 

"It's okay." 

"No, really. You had a choice, you know? You could've left me to keep going, keep using. You could've left me to burn out or get killed and honestly, nobody would've blamed you for it. You had your own life to save. But you didn't. You stuck by me when nobody else did, time and time again. You've saved my life Frank, and now you're helping me turn it around and i'm just so fucking grateful and yet all I give you in return is more agro." 

"All I want in return is for you to fix yourself up and be okay. Then it'll all be worth something" I smiled. 

"You're amazing, you know that? Because I know a lot of people tell you you're not, but you are. One day I hope I can repay you for this properly, but for now I'm gunna focus on getting myself sorted." 

"Thanks" I chuckled "you know, before I moved here everyone except my friend Pete thought I was worth shit, but now, well, you've all actually got me believing I might be alright." 

"by 'all' do you mean the guy that's helped you get the rehab place?" he raised an eyebrow, and I just blushed a little. "It's okay Frank, I know I used to like you but you can talk about your boyfriend around me. I mean, I'm gunna meet him anyway right?" 

"Oh, it's not that, I do wanna talk about him" I rushed "He's just er, a bit unconventional, that's all." 

"It's okay, I won't press it" he smiled softly "I'm just glad he's treating you right. In another life, one where I'm not so fucked up and where I met you sooner, I'd like to think I would've done the same." 

I didn't really know what to say to that, and luckily it seemed he wasn't waiting for a reply, because with that he stood up and walked off in the direction of his room, not looking back. I sat there for a while longer -  I wasn't really sure how long - thinking over his words, and about Gerard, and about how many crossroads in my life had been and gone.