Eleven

"Shit, what now?" Was Gerard's choice of words when he opened the door to me. To be fair to him, I probably did look like a nervous wreck at this point.

"Dewees - I -" I tried to force out words, tried to think of the best way to describe the shit I'd managed to get myself in.

"Shit, you're shaking" he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me inside, where he then directed me towards the sofa "come on, sit down."

I sank into the sofa and took a few deep breaths, collecting myself before I spoke.

"Dewees snorted practically all of Ian's cocaine, and I knew Ian would kill him when he finds out - I had to get him out of there Gerard, I couldn't let him die you know?" I met his worried glanced with one of equal panic.

"Where did you take him? Does Ian know yet?"

I quickly relayed the phone conversation I'd had with Ian, where I pretended to know nothing about the location of Dewees, nor how to find him. Then I told him how Ian had threatened me, saying that if I was lying he would find out one way or another and then he would kill me.

"Fuck" he groaned "it was never going to be simple was it? I thought if we could last till your birthday without incident..."

"I just need to get Dewees out of here, somewhere where Ian won't find him. If he's gone then there's nothing that can trace him back to me, so I'll be in the clear." It was a long shot. Hell, even if we got him out of town it would still be a long shot that i'd be able to escape too.

His head snapped up at that, and he met my gaze with a look that told me he thought I was crazy. "In the clear? Frank look around, even if you pull this off you'll still be dealing drugs and fucking a priest. I don't think that's most people's definition of in the clear."

"I'm just trying to think positively-"

"There's nothing positive about this Frank" he snapped "This Ian guy - he's going to get you one way or another - and there's nothing I can do to stop it. If we run away now I'll still be kidnapping you in the eyes of the law."

"It's less than a month until I'm eighteen-"

"You really think Ian will just patiently wait around for Dewees to show up? Frank, he's a maniac and the more time that passes the more pressure he'll put on you to find him!" He looked almost like he wanted to punch something, with one hand balled in a fist as the other ran roughly through his hair in distress.

"I know" my voice cracked as I spoke, and this seemed to break Gerard out of his angry trace "I know what the odds are of me being able to pull this off, I know that he's not going to believe me forever and I know that if we ever finds out I've helped Dewees he'll kill me" by this point I felt a tear roll down my cheek and my shoulders start to shake. I hardly ever cried, but I think i'd reached the end of any resolve and bravery I had left. I just wanted to curl up in Gerard's living room and never leave again.

Immediately I felt his hand cup my face, smearing away the tear with him thumb whilst the other arm wrapped around me and pulled me into his chest, his head resting on top of mine.

"Don't cry Frankie" he said in a softer tone "I'm sorry I snapped, I was just stressed about all of this okay? I feel so fucking helpless in all of this and all I want to do is get you away from here and take somewhere safe, but i'm stuck."

"I'm so scared Gee" I sniffed. I could hardly remember the last time I shed a tear, but I guess I also couldn't really remember anyone else i'd ever felt comfortable enough to cry around.

"Me too" he sighed "I've never loved anything or anyone as much as I love you Frank. And the thought of someone trying to hurt you makes me feel sick."

"I love you too" I looked up at him "you're the only thing that's keeping me sane at the moment to be honest." His arms around me gave me a sense of security I'd never really felt anywhere else, and I never wanted it to stop.

"Maybe we could run away, you know" he sighed into my hair "maybe if we just disappeared, and then couldn't find us..."

"They'd find us eventually Gee" I mumbled "if there's anything I've learned it's that shit always catches up with you in the end."

"Well what if you ran away and then I'll join you once you've had your birthday? I could contact Mikey, he'd let you stay with him for a while and then -"

"You know I can't just go like that. It's not that simple anymore" I tilted my head up to meet his gaze, reaching a hand out to play with the ends of his hair as I spoke "Dewees needs me, I can't just leave him with Kellin indefinitely. And if I were to disappear now then Ian would know I'm guilty and I'd never ever be able to return here. Fuck, I'd never ever be safe if general. All it would take is for me to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and I'd be a goner."

"You're right I guess." I hated seeing him so deflated, so out of ideas.

"Hey" I forced a small smile "we'll be okay. I promise you. I'll find a way out of this mess."

"No" his response took me by surprise at first "we'll find a way out of this mess. Starting with Dewees."

He sat up a little, forcing me to as well due to the angle he was hugging me from. There was a spark in his eyes that hadn't been there before, a determination and confidence that I'd been missing.

"Dewees? What about him?"

"You need to get him to rehab right?"

"Well yeah" I frowned "but I told you, we don't have the funds right now. I mean if we had that much money maybe we'd be able to buy the coke he snorted and solve the mess in the first place."

"Well" he smirked "dating a priest doesn't come without perks you know. And I'm not just talking about the collar either."

"As a side note, that collar would cheer me up right now..." I gave a wink, making him chuckle a little and pull me closer to him by the waist.

"Noted, but not what I was talking about. Actually, I was about to say that as a priest, we have a lot of charity connections at the church. Some of which are rehabs that are charity funded and aimed at giving young people like Dewees a chance."

I kissed him briefly before I replied. "Do you think they could take him? And how soon?"

"Hard to say, but I can phone tomorrow and find out. I'll call in some favours and explain that he's in desperate need. Hopefully I should be able to fast track him a place. I do a lot for those charities so they're in my debt."

I wrapped both arms tight around his shoulders and kissed him properly that time, savouring the feel of his lips on mine and wondering if there would ever be anything better than the feeling of kissing him (and quickly concluding not). Was this how drugs felt to Dewees? If so, perhaps I could understand the addiction. I was certainly addicted to Gerard, every aspect of him too. From kissing him to just looking at him, he was always on my mind.

"That would be so amazing Gee" I finally replied when we broke apart "if we could get him into one of those rehabs... it would just be amazing. Thank you so much-"

"You don't need to thank me Frankie. Honestly, it's refreshing to feel like I can actually help you properly for once."

"Hey! You do so much to help me all the time, okay?" How could he not see it like I did? How could he not realise how much of a positive impact he always had on me? "You're here for me and you're always supported me and picked me up when I'm down or hurt and that means more to me than anything else in the world. I can't explain how much I love you, or how much you loving me has made me finally happy."

"Good, all I ever want is for you to be happy" the spark of confidence in his expression seemed to have grown "well, happy and safe. So at least we've got one thing down. Now to work on the other."

**

When I got back from Gerard's that afternoon Kellin greeted me at the door, looking weary.

"How did it go? Did he buy it?" Was his first query, glancing behind me to check I was alone.

"For now" I nodded "I'll tell you all the details later, but I need to talk to Dewees and explain what's happened first. Where is he?" I closed the front door behind me and Kellin gave a nod towards the kitchen.

"In there. He's started to get a bit shaky and hungry from the withdrawal symptoms so i've been making him some toast. Not that I think toast is particularly going to help him, it's just, well, I didn't really know what else to do. And whenever i'm hungover I always want toast, and well, withrdrawals a bit like the hangover from hell only worse, right?"

"Something like that" I shrugged "although I don't think Dewees will see it that way."

"Where have you been all afternoon anyway?" No sooner had he asked it did I give a little smile, answering his question without having so say a word, prompting him to laugh "oh okay you were with him, I should've known really shouldn't?"

"To be honest Kellin, if i'm not here or at college, i'm with him" I'd pretty much limited my time to 3 locations. Well, except for the whole drug-drops situation, but that wasn't exactly somewhere I wanted to be, or spent much time at.

"Noted."

We moved out of the corridor at this point and into the kitchen, where my eyes instantly landed on Dewees. He was sat up at the kitchen counter, which I guess was something, albeit a bit slumped over it. The aforementioned toast lay in front of him, and he seemed to be gingerly picking away at it with little interest, a slight tremor visible in his hand as he did so.

"Hey" he jumped at my voice, instantly dropping the toast and blinking at me a few times.

"Frank, what's going on? Where were you? What the hell am I gunna do here? I can't stay here forever, and Ian's going to find out, and and -"

"Shut up a minute" I pulled up a chair opposite him "you've been asleep for a few hours so I need to catch you up on some stuff, but don't worry okay? I'm sorting this. Sort of. I've got a plan, or at least a plan in the making."

"I wasn't sure how much to tell him yet" Kellin murmured from behind me "I thought it would be better coming from you. Plus, well, I just didn't want to explain where you were and have him shoot the messenger" his attempt to lighten the tone fell pretty flat, but I appreciated the thought nonetheless.

"Shoot the messenger?" Dewees widened his eyes "What does that mean? Fuck Frank, what have you done?"

"Just calm down-"

"Don't tell me to calm down, just explain what's going on. Have you turned me into Ian? Or the police? Or both?"

"No no of course not. Well, not really."

"Not really?" his gaze had turned to anger now "what the hell does that mean Frank? You're either helping me or not here-"

"Dewees SHUT UP" Kellin rolled his eyes from where he was stood a few meters away "Frank had to talk to Ian to make sure Ian wouldn't think that he was involved in you disappearance, otherwise i'd have to hide you both here."

"You spoke to him?" I nodded "But you didn't tell him where I was?'

"Of course not you idiot, why would I help you only to hand you over? I told him I went round yours and couldn't find you, that you and your stuff and the drugs were all gone, and that I had no idea where you were." He visibly relaxed, shoulders slumping back into the slouch they had originally been in. I was just relieved he was finally listening.

"Okay, I mean, I guess that does make sense. The less involved you are the better. Are you sure he believed you though?"

"I was about to ask the same" Kellin chimed in.

"For now, yes" I tried not to shudder thinking about that phone call "but he said if i'm lying then he'll end me for it. And that I need to find you for him, which obviously i'm not going to. We've got time now though, and that's the main thing."

"Fuck Frank. I'm so sorry. I've ruined your life and now i'm going to ruin it even more" Dewees looked close to tears at this point. "I mean, I've got nowhere to go now and I can't hide away here forever. Maybe I should just turn myself in, save you both your lives -"

"No way" I cut him off as me and Kellin shook our heads at the same time. "You didn't ask us to do this for you, we want to help okay?"

"No, not okay at all. This is your life we're talking about frank, you said it yourself." He stood up then, shaking a little "I have to go, I can't have your blood on my hands, I can't.."

"We're not letting you go anywhere" Kellin moved a little to block the door "you're safe here, and you need to be with people you really trust. Let us figure the rest out."

"He's right" I stood up too "listen, i've got a... friend. Who has some connections, charities and such, and he says he reckons he could get you a place at a charity rehab, hopefully soon."

"What friend? How much did you tell him?" The panic was back in his eyes.

"Someone we can trust, don't worry. I can't really say much more but it's a real chance to get you out of town and somewhere safe, away from Ian and where you can get proper help and turn all this around." Part of me thought I might as well tell him about Gerard, but I had a feeling he was already fragile enough without having to listen to my tales of how i'd ended up in the priest's bed.

"Okay" He nodded, perhaps sensing this need-to-know-only basis was the best approach for him right now. "Thank you, Frank. I'm sorry I snapped, my head's all over the place and ... well, just thank you."

"it's okay. We'll get this sorted out, you'll see."

"And in the meantime you can eat your fucking toast and drink your water" Kellin pushed the plate back towards him "because you're in for a tough few days of withdrawal and you're going to need your strength." Thank god we had a few days before college started up again, because I had a feeling someone was going to have to be on Dewees-watch at all times.

***

"hey" Kellin said to me an hour or so later "is Gerard really going to be able to get Dewees into rehab, or were you saying that to calm him down?" At this point Dewees had gone back to sleep upstairs, and it was just me and him sat downstairs. The TV was on but neither of us were paying attention to it.

"I meant it, Gerard knows a lot of charities and he seemed pretty confident he could call in some favours. I hope so anyway."

"I never thought i'd say it, but thank god we've got the local priest on our side" he chuckled "but seriously, that's so good of him. he must really care about you to try and get Dewees into rehab. The waiting lists for places like that are normally huge, but I guess he has a lot of influence."

"Yeah" I blushed a little, but I don't think he noticed "he wants this all to be over just as much as I do."

"I'm glad you found someone who makes you so happy you know, you deserve it."

"You too" a shared smile passed between us, and I allowed myself to switch off from my problems temporarily. Tomorrow was a new day and no doubt a new shitstorm, but for now I was just going to sit and watch tv with one of my best friends and pretend to be normal again.

_____

Long time no see, but basically I've re-read this recently and found my motivation to get it finished. I already have some drafts to work with so watch this space!

- H