The story was inspired by a prompt for an activity on a Facebook group. I chose as the theme: farmer/singer. (2021)

The story been published in an online  Romanian magazine.

BENJAMIN

                  Every time he closed his eyes, he saw it.

                 It was an empty and dark alley where life had already faded. He could see himself walking on the cement shadowed by the massive crowns of the trees. With each step, the alley became darker and never ended, getting lost without finding its way back, as if it had been lost in a loop, without any identity...

               That place was empty and desolate like his heart, with no ray of light piercing it, no color, only infinite obscurity. It was the same avenue full of flowers, full of life, which at that moment was shrouded in a funereal silence and painted in gray.

             He opened his eyes and sighed heavily. The podium full of flashes blinded him for a moment, but in his mind remained the alley where he had made the mistake of his life seven years ago, and lately it had been coming back to him in his dreams more and more vividly, luring him back with kind words.

               Benjamin bit his lip, took a deep breath, and scattered the image that took over his mind, stepping onto the stage that had made him a famous singer from a young age, though lately he had felt his career stagnate. He was tired.

               He cleared his throat and started to sing a song, but his mind was on the person he disappointed, hurt, especially since he found out that he was going to shoot a video in the very area where his ex-boyfriend had his farm.

              "You have no personality! I don't want you near me anymore. I'm tired of us always being together!"

                Eighteen words left engraved on the soul of both.

               At that moment, on his sun-touched cheek, he felt a warm burn. Not because of the tears, but from his cold fingers, which grazed his face for the last time. It felt like a slap to Benjamin, even though he was only slightly touched by him. He caressed him warmly, as he always did, but his eyes, which had once shone, as if the sun had penetrated them, at that point, they were bare while he was talking to him. His gaze darkened, as if nature felt the pain of one who had been suddenly abandoned, for a dream in which he had no place. His green as a dew-covered leaf, it withered. His eyes were empty as he looked into Benjamin's. He gulped looking into them, as the pain was tattooed into his heart. 

               Benjamin had fled like a coward from the one he had loved.

               "I'm sorry that for you, I have no sparkle, like a reflector!" It was all he said, and the twenty-year-old turned back, his back sunburn and well-defined, running his fingers through his black silk hair. "I know how to do two things. To love the earth, to love you, but I won't beg you to love me in return. I'm just a farmer..."

                 Benjamin had known at that moment that he had made the mistake of his life, but he had been blinded by fame, money and a life away from the small village where the two had grown up. They had learned to love each other in the haystacks, to swim naked in the pond behind the farm, and to dream of a simple life.

                For a moment, his voice choked and he lowered his head as a gloomy silence fell before him.

               He could still feel his rough fingers on his lips as he awkwardly parted them, and at that moment he smiled, echoing through the room, and began to sing as if it were for the last time.

                His whole being was shackled by the desire to be touched again by the tips of the fingers on the lips, on the body, to be chained between strong arms, held to the chest and kissed passionately.

"My beating heart broke

It is snowing outside, but blizzard in my soul,

And among the roars of a harsh wind

I heard your whispers, calling me,

But they were only echoes of the past.

Instead, the storm that seized me,

Like a garment over my lips

It sealed them for me, like your paper heart turned to ashes.

You have not learned to love;

You're just an ice water lily in a sea of wandering souls,

But in the end

We are two worn parts

Among the ice stars, in a long, cold, dark winter.

Our love is over; shattered like snowflakes, by the wind that darted at us mercilessly, leaving us speechless."

                 In the end, he realized something. The song cheered by the faceless spectators, a sea of porcelain dolls was about him... He hadn't learned to truly love, and at that moment it was too late. He had lost the farmer who had made him a man, though it was a long-lost, bittersweet memory...

               To everyone's applause he bowed and left the stage, practically running to his booth, trying to catch his breath. He collapsed by the door, trying to hold back the tears that began to well up. He ran his hands through his brown hair which was kept in a ponytail and gripped it between his fingers, feeling the pain present. But he pulled even harder, starting to laugh hysterically. The twenty-five year old leaned back, letting his hair fall, letting it cover his face. Another song was heard in the background. It was a song like his.

Among empty words, I feel you, I look for you, but you are only a specter...

              Sixteen years of guilt and an undying love erupted from his chest in a sudden loud cry.

             He cooled down for a moment, and wiped his tear-streaked face with the palm of his hand. He was the one that had left him, but he had taken with him the pain of both of them.

              A knock on the door woke him to reality. He was alone, on the floor of a dark, of a dreary cabin looking. He took a cigarette out of his black pants pocket and lit it, leaning his head back. He closed his eyes, waking up again in the flower alley. He was lost without him, even from the moment Maxwell turned his back on him.

"Run away from me like a coward, but even if the earth burns, I will find you,

Let's make love again under the defiant moon as we burn in the inferno of our own making

Two sinners, with black wings of wax

Requiem for a long lost dream. "

                Hearing the last song, Benjamin stood up and walked to a mirror, looking at himself. That's how they were once. He sighed and took another drag, letting the cigarette slip from his fingers. It was too late... or so he thought at the time.