Chapter thirty-eight

"I hope this will finally shut your mouth up."

Taehyung was shaking violently, his loud screams echoing throughout the peaceful night, the image of Chinhae's scarred face imprinted in the back of his mind.

The door of his bedroom flew open and Jungkook immediately stomped inside, stilling at the sight of the omega writhing around in obvious distress. He was on his bed, the sheets twisted around his ankles, small whimpers escaping him as whatever hellish scene played through his unconscious mind. Instinct created an urge in the alpha to shake Taehyung awake, but upon second assessment, he decided not to do that.

He had no idea how the omega would react to being touched in this state and he didn't want Taehyung to accidentally hurt himself. After a quick debate, Jungkook went with repeating the omega's name at different volume levels, though none of them were quite yelling, until Taehyung jerked awake, panting.

"Shh, Taehyung, you're okay. You're safe. We're in the pack house. Jimin is asleep right down the hall, and I'm right here, and so are you. Nothing bad is happening." Jungkook didn't even know what he was saying, only knew that he needed to calm Taehyung down. The wild look in the omega's azure eyes, the fear, the tension in his body, it all needed to be soothed away.

Taehyung's body was already quivering even before he woke up to Jungkook's voice, a grumble leaving his lips as he struggled to breathe. It took a long second to blink away the fires that still burnt in his vision, still melted away at his skin, but soon enough he could see the alpha's face looking down at him in the darkness.

He blinked his eyes open, groggy as the world around him shifted about, and doubled over, nothing exactly clear but the muddled colors. He felt nauseous and heavy, his stomach weighing him down along with the thick blankets covering his body. Everything felt warm, the bed seeming to trap him in, arms so comforting around him that his body fought to stay put.

A sob left Taehyung's chest before he could stop it, followed by another and another until he collapsed in on himself, the force of his cries shaking his entire frame, shaking the bed.

And though the angle was odd, Jungkook draped himself over Taehyung, snaking his arms under and around the omega's posture to hold him. Taehyung fell into the embrace gratefully, tears soaking his shoulder without care as the alpha's body emitted a solid warmth, he felt he so desperately needed. Despite the thick layer of blankets, Taehyung's skin was incredibly cold, adding to the ache in his bones and the trembles.

Jungkook shushed him gently, rolling them onto their sides so they were more comfortable. Taehyung held onto him with all he had, fingers gripping onto the warm dips of his shoulder blades through his shirt.

The alpha's hands skimmed over Taehyung's back, the proximity of them stealing away the cold that the omega wished to wrap himself in. "It's okay," Jungkook murmured against his furrow of ash-blonde hair, "you're safe."

The steady stream of words continued, and the alpha could tell from his expression that Taehyung was picking out Jungkook's own heartbeat. Something to focus on, to ground him. "Do you think you can go back to sleep or do you want a distraction?" The alpha asked once Taehyung's breathing had evened out.

"No sleep." The omega's voice came out rough, and Jungkook's heart was breaking for him. There was no world where Taehyung should experience this kind of pain, he didn't deserve it.

This was one of the countless times where would Taehyung wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and crying hysterically for Chinhae to let go of him.

In those blood-chilling dreams, the omega was once again in the forest while Chinhae's black wolf and other leering, faceless figures surrounded him, gazing in at him through piercing red eyes, baring their sharp fangs, salivating while growling lowly at him. They gibbered and shrieked like hyenas, taunting him, snarling at him as he sobbed and screamed for help.

Taehyung badly wanted the dreams to stop, he just wished for everything to stop. He couldn't believe that he had finally decided to die, finally come to terms with leaving everything behind and was somehow forced to go on living. Dying would have been so much easier.

But Jeon Jungkook wound never think of letting him go. He would continue to shove food in his face, carry him around like a ragdoll because he refused to leave the bed. And though the omega hated the weakness and the vulnerability he showed at moments like these, he couldn't seem to mind Jungkook being here now and having his hands stroking up and down his back in comfort. Always so gentle with him, so precise and careful.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jungkook's quiet voice rang in his ears, giving him a sense of assurance, reminding him that this was the reality, not the nightmares. He looked genuine in his concern, though it played out very timidly on his features, as if he were scared to display any such emotion.

Reluctantly, Taehyung shook his head, snuggling up closely to the alpha's chest, ear pressed right against his heart. "You know what happens in my dreams," He explained with a noncommittal shrug of his shoulders, eyes cutting to the window from where the faint moonlight peeked in. "It's all the same."

Jungkook gave a meaningful nod. He knew that the answer was obvious, yet somehow expected the omega to say something different tonight, though he wasn't sure what. "Okay. Anything else you want to do?"

Taehyung's tongue rolled over his dry lips to wet them a bit, looking down at where he was pinching and tugging on the fabric of his nightgown. "Can we go out?"

The alpha turned himself carefully to lie on his side, head cushioned on a flat, ratty pillow. The dips and broken springs in the mattress meant nothing when he was this exhausted, pushed physically and emotionally to the very edge. "Now?" He questioned, eyebrow darting upwards as if he were surprised.

The omega looked up at him, big blue eyes leaving heartbreak in Jungkook's chest. "I- "Taehyung cut himself off. His eyes fell to somewhere on the bed between them, searching like maybe the words he intended to say were written in the folds of the blanket. "Please, Jungkook. I really want to distract myself."

The alpha stared at him expectantly for a few seconds before releasing a grueling sigh. "Fine." He agreed, throwing the blankets off them. "But we aren't staying outside for too long because of the cold."

Jungkook was the first to get out of the bed and step barefoot onto the linoleumed floor. He stretched out his hand for Taehyung to take it, pulling him off the mattress and into his arms as he set him down on unsteady legs. The omega staggered to his feet, nearly knocking them both down on the ground because he didn't have enough strength to keep himself up.

"Do you think you can walk?" It was a redundant question, really, and Jungkook was more than aware of that, although his eyes were brazened and stuffed with worry.

"I-I... "Before he could produce the answer, the alpha had already picked him up in his arms, effortlessly.

"You know what? Forget about it." Jungkook said before marching up to the open door and into the corridor.

If it weren't for the anxiety that was still so present within Taehyung's mind and soul, he would have laughed now at Jungkook's silly moves. Instead of reciprocating a comment, he let himself relax in his hold, burying his face in the crook of the alpha's neck as he inhaled deeply from the musky scent. The omega was a complete dead weight in Jungkook's arms, all pliant and unmoving.

Finally, they reached the end of the corridor and, with some great efforts, the alpha succeeded to open the front door and get them both outside. The air was cold. There was no wind, and the world was quiet, as if trapped in a scene of ice, like a winter wonderland, with desolate silhouettes roaming around the mist.

Taehyung pulled his face out of Jungkook's neck, looking up at the night sky, disappointing when he saw the thick clouds covering up most of the stars. He could feel the cold piercing through the thin layer of his nightgown, sending shivers up and down his spine.

The weather was so extraordinarily cold that it was close to getting called a snowstorm and, in addition, the moon and its children, stars, were hiding behind the clouds so not only was the night awfully freezing, but it was also pitch dark.

Jungkook walked up to one of the trees and carefully settled down into the hedges, a tired huff leaving his chapped lips, the omega leaning his back against his sturdy chest as he looked ahead of them and into the dark forest.

The alpha was quick to notice the way Taehyung's entire body shivered from the harsh coldness of the November weather and coiled his arms around him to engulf his lithe frame with his natural warmth.

"Is this fine?" Jungkook asked, and in return he received a simple nod.

"The best I could ever ask for." Taehyung hummed, draping his arms over Jungkook's, and squeezing his hands in his to wrap them tighter around his torso.

It was silent for most of the time, neither he or Jungkook dared to speak up, preferring to listen to the sound of the hooting owl and fine echo of the occasional wind that would blow through the woods.

"I want everything to be normal again." The omega's voice was barely audible, if Jungkook hadn't solely placed his focus on Taehyung, he probably wouldn't have even noticed he had spoken.

"It will be, my love," the alpha said right next to his ear, tentatively intertwining their fingers together, tracing his thumb over Taehyung's bony knuckles in a loving manner. He nosed at the omega's scent gland, pressing his lips against the traumatized skin to grant it with a gentle kiss of assurance and affection.

"I used to think the worst feeling in the world was losing someone you loved but I was wrong." Taehyung breathed exasperatedly, ignoring the pattern of ugly heart against his ribcage at the kindness within Jungkook right now. "I understood that the worst feeling was the moment when you realized that you've lost yourself." He didn't mean to cry, he really didn't, but, beneath Jungkook's cautious gaze and with a mind that vibrated with muddled and blitzed dispositions, he found himself easily victimized by the repulsions of salty scintilla.

"Tae..." Jungkook's voice was a little hoarse due to the surprise of those tears. He turned the omega around so he could face him, bringing his hand up to wipe the hot tears away, heart nearly cracking in half upon seeing these beautiful features contorted into such a hideous grimace of puffy red eyes and wobbling bottom lip.

He didn't offer much choice when he prompted Taehyung into his embrace, allowing the omega to sob relentlessly into his shoulder. In all honesty, Taehyung himself wasn't entirely aware of what made him cry, but just everything was growing too much, everything too stressful and nagging at his mind. He felt as if everything in his life was topsy-turvy and the only way to get back in line was to release the puddles of despair crawling amongst his liver.

Even when his tears lessened and his breaths weren't as heavy, Taehyung still kept his face buried in Jungkook's shoulder, eyes closed and content with letting everything go to enjoy this for as long as it lasted. He was drowning in gratefulness. Suffocating in it, but it was not a bad feeling overall.

"Do you want to head back in- "The alpha suddenly stopped in the middle of his sentence when something shiny caught his attention, causing his speech to come to a halt.

Confused by the unexpected pause, the omega lifted his head up to look at him, freezing on spot when he noticed the white powder snow sipping out of the great dark sky.

The snowflakes seemed precarious and awkward at first, then in a hastening host a whole brief army fell, white militia paratrooping out of the close sky over various textures, making them one. Snow was white and gray, part and whole, infinitely various yet infinitely repetitious, soft and hard, frozen and melting, a creaking underfoot and a soundlessness. But first of all it was the reversion of many into one. It was substance, almost the idea of substance, that turned grass, roads, branches, and bushes into the one white.

They were especially playful as they danced their most favorite waltz without even taking a second to rest. Graceful, elegant, and weightless — they couldn't stop spinning and swaying to the grandiose orchestral music of the north winds.

Strangely enough but such a small thing as shimmering snowflakes was enough to make Taehyung forget about his suffering. He raised his head up, mouth agape and eyes widened so much, it was impossible for Jungkook not to smile at him.

"Look," Taehyung breathed when he saw the little sleets falling into his hand and melting right after being in contact with the warm skin that his body provided. "It's snowing." He exclaimed with so much enthusiasm in his tone that it was hard not to mistaken him for a child.

The dullness in his eyes that Jungkook had to contemplate with was finally replaced by the childish spark of happiness. The omega's orbs shined brightly like tiny diamonds, two shooting stars that burnt and collided against one another in a gorgeous jumble.

"W-why are you staring at me like that?" Taehyung's voice pulled him out of his little trance. The omega's cheeks were tinted red, either because of the cold or the fact he had caught Jungkook lost in his reverie.

The alpha didn't seem to be embarrassed of that, though. He just chuckled softly at the question and let his hands travel up and down the curves of Taehyung's petite waist. "It's just that..." he closed his mouth, considering his next words carefully. The last thing Jungkook would ever want was to make the omega feel uncomfortable or pressured, but right now his intuition was telling him that it was the perfect moment to voice out his thoughts. "I really want to kiss you." He whispered in the dark.

Taehyung's eyes widened upon hearing the alpha's wish. His own heart began to beat out of proportion, blood pressure escalating drastically and unspoken words getting stuck in his throat. With a lot of will power, he swallowed down all the saliva in his mouth and nodded quickly. "I-I want it, too." The omega confessed.

Without being able to stop any following actions of his, Jungkook was leaning in to cut the space between their lips. He kissed Taehyung with resolution and care because he needed him to understand how important he was, because he needed him to know something he had missed entirely: that Jeon Jungkook had never let his guard down before anyone else. Yet for Taehyung, he had done everything. He had broken down his own walls, he had trusted, he had followed him and protected him. And he wanted to kiss him.

The omega welcomed the kiss, eager to feel more of Jungkook. Despite the chilly weather, he had the feeling like he was burning. Hot, hot, hot. Every each of the alpha's touches caused his heart to make a whoop, butterflies exploded in the pits of his stomach and he was no longer dreading the pain.

Taehyung was crawling onto his lap, weight sinking down on Jungkook's thighs. The alpha's hands instinctively flattened on the omega's waist, pulling him in as he settled in a wide but comfortable straddle. Everything about Taehyung was suddenly so soft. Soft hair, soft lips, soft skin. Soft thighs, soft nightgown.

Jungkook pushed his hands up under the omega's nightdress, intent to reveal more of his milky legs and feel every unabridged inch of skin, but Taehyung instantly broke the kiss and pressed their foreheads together.

It took him a moment to talk, tongue darting out and gliding across his kiss-swollen lips. "Sorry," Jungkook whispered as he took his hands off.

"It's not that, I just- "Taehyung shook his head, grabbing the alpha's wrists and holding them between their chests. Jungkook seemed to be having an internal combat, gauging his options to deny or agree when the omega's next words blew his mind away and stripped him off his last thread of self-control. "I want you to mark me."

"A-are you sure?" Jungkook muttered with a heavy voice, listening to his own oppressive senses, but unmistakably Taehyung had never been clearer of what he truly desired. It echoed loudly in his heart, impossible to ignore. And the alpha gaped inwardly at the sudden clarity, for it was something he had known all along, a foregone conclusion from day one.

"Yes, Jungkook," The omega cupped both sides of his face to lock his gaze on Jungkook's. "I want to be yours more than anything else, to get rid of Chinhae's mark and be claimed by you."